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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

Beat the holiday blues

 
Does this sound familiar? Everyone you know is thrilled to pieces that Christmas is finally here. They’re wrapping presents and baking cookies and hanging mistletoe. But you? Well, you’re a little less than chipper. Whether you’re grieving for the loss of a friend or family member, are totally stressed out by the season itself or are just plain sick of the holiday hullabaloo, the way you’re feeling is totally normal…and pretty common to boot.

 

While you might not be exactly merry by the morning of the 25th, we’re here to help you snap out of your slump and enjoy the holidays.

 

Think back

Take ten minutes and consider what the holidays used to be like. When you were a kid, what made you happiest? Maybe it was making ornaments for Mom and Dad or watching Miracle on 34th Street. Maybe you liked licking the bowl when Granny was baking, or you made gingerbread houses with your friends. Pinpoint whatever it was, and see if you can’t relive that experience this year. The nostalgia will do you good, girlie.

 

Bargain, babe

So your family is the all-or-nothing sort, right? And your friends are so obsessed you have a sneaking suspicion that they’re on Santa’s payroll? Go ahead and make a deal. Tell Mom you’re totally up for a huge holiday feast with the entire family on Christmas…but could Christmas Eve just be a small affair? In the same vein, don’t feel as though you have to accept every invite your friends throw your way. If you loathe carols, skip the caroling party. If overseeing a quiet tree-trimming party is more your thing, arrive bearing a homemade popcorn garland. The holidays are about you, too, and it’s not selfish to let yourself do what you want—remember that, babe!

 

Great escape

If you can’t take one more minute of holly and jingle bells, go ahead and make your escape. Whether it’s holing up in your room to watch a gory action flick or hitting the bowling ally with like-minded babes, know that you don’t have to spend every waking moment of winter break on Christmas or other celebrations. Who knows? Maybe your escape will become a new tradition.

 

Do you feel blue around the holidays? How do you ditch the slump?
 
 

BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 12/22/2011 12:00:00 AM

POSTED IN , , , , , ,

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31 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 

Hey aourada, we're really happy that you're posting things on GL but we ask that you stop writing chain letters. We don't have them on here. Thanx so much for understanding. Xoxo
 


Lynae P.

by aourada on 2/18/2012 5:00:41 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!
Okay so I have a big problem. You know how people my age (thirteen-fourteen-ish) listen to a lot of FM radio stations like KIIS FM and MY FM? I listen to that, but I also love to listen to Radio Disney. Like I like to win their prizes and all that. That's becoming a huge problem for me, because I think that I am way too old for that now and I want to stop. Can you help me?

 

Hey girl! I think it's great that you are staying true to yourself. If you love Radio Disney, then listen to it! Just because other people your age are doing something, it doesn't mean that it is always right for you. My taste in music varies a lot because I like different radio stations for different reasons. Plus, I bet your friends will be pretty jealous when you win a prize! Just do what makes you happy!

Colleen K.

by Emilicious on 2/6/2012 1:52:23 AM

 
 



MOD MOD
Okay so I've been feeling lonely a lot lately. Like REALLY lonely. Tonight, we had a party for one of my friend's birthdays and all of my close friends were there but I still felt very lonely and sad. I've been feeling very sad and down for a while now. I had a very traumatizing experience in the past two years and it is always haunting me and I always put myself down about it. I constantly stress over it and think about it. I know everyone has 'those days' but how many of 'those days' do you have before it becomes something? I've never once thought about suicide or hurting myself but I have friends who have. I keep having nightmares and I'm always crying when I'm by myself. Should I be worried? Or am I just being too sensitive?




Hey girlie,

You're not being too sensitive - if it makes you sad and bothers you, it's worth talking about! Never feel like your problems aren't "big" enough <3 You still deserve support. That's good you haven't considered suicide or self harm.. it's never an answer that will solve anything. But you know what will? Talking to someone who can really help you sort through your emotions and overcome them. I know some people are scared to talk to a counselor or therapist because they think it's "weak" or "for crazy people," but it's not - more people talk to them than you think! And they've heard it ALL, so they're really helpful when they try to figure out what you can do to overcome this. You deserve to be happy and you gotta do what you can to get back there. You could be suffering from depression, still hanging onto those negative feelings from two years ago, or experiencing a social issue. Or you could be plain sad and need someone to talk to. Whatever it is, this will REALLY help. Please please promise me you'll talk to a counselor (start at your school - they can refer you to a therapist if you need a more experienced helper) and get happy again Smile Lots of love, girl <3 
Lauren C.

by Girlie77 on 2/5/2012 1:04:47 AM

 
 



MOD! MOD! MOD!
I struggle a lot with cutting and it's a problem. My friends are starting to see a change in me. My best friend is the only one who knows. Because she cuts too. I don't want to tell my parents. And my school counlouser ALWAYS ends up calling my parents. I don't want to tell anyone. The only adults I wouldn't mind telling is my favorite teacher. please help me.




Hey girl,

I can't help you if you don't want to tell someone about this. You KNOW it's a problem - you said so yourself. You know it's unsafe and you know it's not the healthy way to deal with the problems you're having and the bad feelings you have inside. But you shouldn't try to deal with this on your own. Trust me, self-harm is a sickness. It's nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about, but you shouldn't feel weird about asking for help. It actually shows a lot of strength to admit you have a problem (which you did already!!!!!) and ask for help. You have people around you who love you and who would do anything to help you - listen to your worries, help you fix the negative parts of your life, stick by your side while you're trying to get happy again. They are there for you! Just like we're always here to answer your questions and give you a place to vent anonymously, they're there IN REAL LIFE and can help you make some serious changes for the better. Please please please talk to your school counselor and get all these issues off your chest. It will make you feel so free to admit to it - and it will make you feel even better to finally triumph over cutting and not need it anymore. I know self-harm seems like a way to finally be in control of something and punish yourself/make yourself physically feel pain, but it's so much better to be in control in a positive way and face life head on <3333 Lots of love girl, please make the right decision here!!! <3 If you want to talk to someone anonymously about this first, try this 24 hour crisis hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or this 24 hour line that is run by the Self Injury Foundation: 1-800-334-HELP
Lauren C.

by angelicjade on 1/28/2012 11:08:44 PM

 
 



MOD! MOD! MOD! For the last few months a lot of things tht i dont like have been happening in my life including family, school, etc. i have really low self esteem where i dont even answer questions in class because i think whatever i say is wrong even my opinion or i dont want to be laughed at.i alot of times hate myself& who i have become.i started wondering what life wud b like if i wasnt around anymore & i couldnt stop thinking about tht.i thought about cutting myself or overdosing on pills but i never did any of tht.i told my 2 closest friends about all of this a couple weeks ago &they always tried to make me feel better.but yesterday i was rly upset& i was in the bathroom crying..my razor was rite there so i ended up cutting my ankle...after i did it i started to hate myself even more and wonder wht did i do...i told my friends and theyre rlly worried about me and talked to me after school upset...they say its a big deal, but i dont rlly think it is tht much.. i really need help.




Hey girl,

It's great you feel like you can trust your friends with all this! Keep talking to them and don't keep these feelings inside. But your friends might not be able to give you the help you need, so you need to tell someone else - a parent, a teacher, an older relative, a counselor, a clergy person, even a friend's parent. You know that you're kinda caught in this big mess of bad emotions - and that's normal. A lot of times, bad stuff happens and we feel really upset, where we wonder if we can stand it another day. But I once heard someone say something about suicide that really stuck with me: It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Your life WILL get better and you have SO much left to explore, to do, to achieve, to see and to learn. You have friends and family who love you and who WOULD miss you if you're gone. So please please please don't consider cutting, suicide, or any kind of self harm. We're ALWAYS here for you and send you lots of love. Talk about these issues to someone who can really get you the help you need <33333 
Lauren C.

by dance22lover on 1/26/2012 8:50:09 PM

 
 





I'm sorry to hear your mom has started smoking again. The best tactic is to talk to her pointing out how bad it is and how she could set a could example by challenging herself to never do it. Also, coincidences and overlooking some pieces of info can lead to misunderstandings, so keep in mind it could be possible that she isn't lying about it. 

 

If he is spending a lot of your shared money for irrational reasons, maybe you could ask him why and what he is spending on and point out that scary predictions have been around for years and none have come true. 

 


Not doing homework is bad for your grade, but only if you don't make you sure understand the concepts in the missed homework and continue to miss them. You can make up for it by working harder on your next assignments. 

 

If you feel your friends are drifting away from you, you could invite them to hang out together or allot them some space; sometimes short breathers in friendships works well. After that, if you still feel they are making no effort to stay friends with you, you should realize that you deserve friends that really want you to be their friend. And you shouldn't break up with your boyfriend because of peer pressure, but because you decided based on what you thought and felt about him.


Krupali D.

by iheartsmiles on 1/20/2012 10:23:29 AM

 
 

So MORP is coming up and i don't know who to ask. I could ask my ex or a new guy i like. But i don't know if the new guy likes me back. He has other girls who i am sure are much better looking then me and that he wants to ask. I don't know if i even want to go..... HELP!!!

by *Marco* on 1/17/2012 10:53:00 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD! My parents are getting divorced and im acctually quite happy about it. I dont know why but i think my dad is creepy and want him out of my life. ive read my moms diarys and she held herself back until she found the right one. then my dad hurt her with his alcaholism and other things. whenever i look at the texts he constenly puts her down. should i feel bad that im not sad?




Hey girlie,

Not at all. Sure it's sad they're breaking up, but honestly not all breakups are sad. Some are necessary and have been brewing for a while, so they actually feel more like a relief. You're realizing that this will help your mom be her true self again. She'll have a chance to be happy, independent, and find someone in the future who respects her, treats her well, and protects her. Don't feel bad for being happy about this - it's a new beginning! <3 And that's a great way to look at it.
Lauren C.

by highschool1 on 1/1/2012 12:16:08 PM

 
 

Ever since last year Christmas has been hard for me and my family. Last year my grandparents died on Christmas Eve. Both of them in a car accident. This year Christmas was real gloomy. And, adding to the fact, my Grandpa has been in the I.C.U. for weeks does not help either. So now most of the day, my dad is gone at the hospital. My whole family id down here and they have been for a long time. We are all getting cranky, causing us to fight all the time. I just wanted this Christmas to be good for us but this hard pain has doubled up. Please help me get more cheery and faithful.

by SweetAllyLoo on 1/1/2012 12:10:24 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!
All my life Ive been kind of a nervous person, and in 6th grade my anxiety got really bad and i was put on meds, but i was doing awesome on them and was taken off at the beginning of seventh grade. right At tht time i went through a really hard time because all my best friends decided i wasnt cool anymore and left me. i hvnt been really the same since, and now i have a constant fear of people not liking me. in the two years, i feel like its gotten kinda worse in the sense that i have a really bad fear of people not liking me, OCD, and Ive lost the need to invite people to do stuff. I feel like Ive kinda lost myself, and I hate myself in a sense because of it. Im not suicidal, but I really want to go back on meds. Do you think this is just my personality or do you think I just need to be treated?




I think if the meds helped then you should try them again. If they help these feelings go away a bit then stay on but if they dont then stop with the meds. Then maybe go to your school counselor to get help and stat making these bad feelings go away. Good luck hon! xoxo kerra 
Kerra S.

by lifeandmusic on 12/27/2011 6:15:38 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!!!
My dad died a few years back and this is the first year my moms new boyfriend is around... I hate him and I've talked to her about how he treats me but she doesn't care, hes gonna be around today on Christmas... How can I be happy with him there? Thanks Smile




Hey girlie,

Your mom sees great qualities in this BF if she loves him and wants him around, so try to see things from her point of view! If he's abusive or disrespectful toward you (not just annoying because you don't like him), you need to tell someone - your mom, an aunt/uncle, a teacher. But if you're just resisting having a new guy around because you don't want things to change (I totally get that - you don't want someone trying to replace your dad), try very hard to push yourself beyond your comfort zone and see his positive qualities. It's Christmas, after all - it's a holiday for love, tolerance, and an open mind Smile Do it for your mom! And for your dad's memory - he loved your mom and would want her to be happy <3
Lauren C.

by hermione&ron on 12/25/2011 7:51:40 AM

 
 



MOD
heyy so my dad died last year in november, my grandpa died like 20 years ago on christmas eve, and i just suffered a bad beakup and some friend losses and i have been holed up in my room. my mom is starting to worry but i really just dont want to come out. what do i do?




Hey girlie,

I'm so sorry about your dad and the breakup <3 Sometimes life hits us with a lot of bad stuff all at once and we wonder why it's doing it to us, but human beings are amazing - we are strong and we can come back from it! It's totally natural to need time to grieve, feel sad, and be alone. But it's Christmastime! Even if you don't feel that holiday cheer, I promise it's there. Challenge yourself to get out of your bedroom and out in the world. Spend time with your mom and your friends. Decorate the Christmas tree with your own ornaments, decorate your room with twinkle lights and sparkly garland, go out and find a cute present to make mom happy, etc. Try to recapture that Christmas spirit and turn this season around. It's almost the new year, which can be a brand new start for you! Some days will be hard to stay positive, but stick with it. You can do this - I bet 2012 will be a happy year for you <3333
Lauren C.

by taylorswift98 on 12/24/2011 12:51:45 AM

 
 

I know this is random but is it that every year around the end of December I get sick? scared :O

by yvettec2 on 12/23/2011 6:33:33 PM

 
 

I feel this way pretty much every year. I just try to cheer myself up by spending time with family and friends and doing fun things.

by supersingershannon on 12/23/2011 4:19:37 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!
My mother really likes dancing and she forces to take dance classes every week. The problem is that I really don't like dancing! I've been doing it for a long time and I am not improving or getting better at it. I have tried telling her but she won't listen... I really want to do horseback riding instead. Help?




Hey girlie,

Try sitting her down and approaching it like this. Say something like, "I really respect how much you love dance, and I love that we have a hobby we can enjoy together! But I think I want to spend my time doing something new for a while - I have some other interests that I really want to pursue. But maybe, if I start horseback riding, we could take a cooking class or something together so we still have that one-on-one time!" Try to compromise a little with her, while also maturely letting her know that you want to pursue your own passions Smile
Lauren C.

by kayla9 on 12/22/2011 11:13:00 PM

 
 

I love christmas! The only thing I don't like is brainstorming to figure out what to get my dad...

by kayla9 on 12/22/2011 9:13:41 PM

 
 

Class of 2016 Club
Join if you're currently in 8th grade!
We talk about:
Preparing for High School
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Summer
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Anything....so PLEASE JOIN!
Only if you're in 8th grade plz!

by ButterflyGirl18 on 12/22/2011 8:32:34 PM

 
 

Need advice.....message profile.

by ButterflyGirl18 on 12/22/2011 8:18:27 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
So one of my good guy friends asked me to be his girlfriend a few days ago, and I told him I'd think about it. Even though a few of my friends think I like him and that we'd be a cute couple, I don't know if I like him that way or want to be more than friends with him. If I say no, I don't want to ruin our friendship and have things be awkward between us. If I say yes without being 100% sure, I don't want to date for a while then decide I just wanna be friends and end up hurting him/ruining our friendship. Do you have any advice on what I should do? I'd really appreciate it(:




Hey girlie,

You gotta weigh your options on this one and let your heart help you make this decision. It's really tough - if you have a great friendship, you don't want to risk changing/ruining it by dating him. But if you like him as a friend and a crush, you'll want to see where it could go if you took things to the next level and dated. Super hard choice! Personally, I would stop putting pressure on myself to make the decision so quickly. Instead, just try to enjoy the chemistry you have and test out flirting/teasing versus being just friends. See which feels "right" to you. Let the chemistry work its magic and, over time, you'll have your answer Smile 
Lauren C.

by Allison S. on 12/22/2011 7:47:56 PM

 
 

I'm starting to get in the spirit! Thanks GL! Smile I used to be like, " It's the holidays already?! I love the holidays, but it seems like this Year flew by! I'm glad it's the holidays but I feel like summer just ended! Lol Smile xoxo

by kaylarocks2000 on 12/22/2011 6:51:28 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I am going to this fancy new years party and im wearing a white lace top but what should i wear on the bottom and what should i do for hair and makeup?
Thanks!

 

Hey girl,

 

The good thing about white is that it goes with anything! If you wear a printed skirt, try keeping your makeup neutral. If you go with jeans or a solid skirt, go with a bright shadow, liner or gloss to stand out! Have fun!

Meghan D.

by soccer1012 on 12/22/2011 4:08:44 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
OK, so i really want a boyfriend, but my mom says im too young. What should I do?

 

Hey girl,

 

Why not try hanging out with guys in group settings, without the pressure of a relationship? Trust us -- you'll have plenty of time for dating later!

Meghan D.

by DaNcInGQu33N9812 on 12/22/2011 2:55:11 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Me and my friend are both the quiet type so sometimes it's hard to get closer to her. How do I get a better friendship to be close? Thanks!

 

Hey girl,

 

Why not do something you both enjoy, like watching a movie, playing a game or taking a workout class? You can bond over the activity without having to make awkward small talk.

Meghan D.

by svds on 12/22/2011 1:14:38 PM

 
 

i dont hate the holidays its just its sooooo much to do!!!!!!!!!! lol and it does get stressful but only 3 more days till the morning of xmas and i cant lie i get sooo excited on xmas morning not for myself just for my family to see the gifts that i got them!

by j4zm09 on 12/22/2011 1:11:01 PM

 
 

i love chirstmas but the one thing that always kinda ruins it is every holiday like thanksgiving or easter and of course christmas we go to my aunt and uncles house and their kids which are all older then me blah. im not close at all with them and they think im shy. which is laughable cuz im NOT at all shy. im far from shy and this year i really want my rep to be different. like before school started i was answering my uncles question and he was all this is the most ive ever heard you talk. how do i step out of my box this year and actually enjoy my christmas??? thx for ur help!

 

Hey girl,


 

If you want to come out of your shell, just start talking! Everyone likes talking about themselves, so tell your fam about the cool stuff you did in school this semester. Don't forget to ask about their lives, too!

Meghan D.

by fearless;) on 12/22/2011 1:09:14 PM

 
 

mod mod mod
ok this is weird but do u know where i can get cheap cool toothbrushes that are not just solid colors or made for little kids? thx!

 

Hey girl,

 

Reach has tons of cool patterns and colors on regular, affordable toothbrushes, and you can get them at most drugstores!

Meghan D.

by edward199 on 12/22/2011 12:50:00 PM

 
 

I am sooo tired of the hullaballo lol cuz I already know all the gifts that are gonna be under the tree including mine bah hambug

by thepinkyyyyyyyyy on 12/22/2011 12:26:46 PM

 
 

**********ATTENTION**********

Are you a fan of The Walking Dead? If you are then join The Walking Dead Fan Club!!!!!!!!!! Where we talk about the show and even the books Laughing

by Princess Keziyah on 12/22/2011 11:58:35 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
On Christmas eve, my best guy friend is gonna kiss me!!! He told my bff and now I'm nervous. How do I prepare?

 

Hey girl,

 

You heard he was going to kiss you ... from someone else? I wouldn't worry too much (or get your hopes up too much), because you don't even know if it's true, or if he was being serious! If it does happen, chances are that he's probably as nervous as you are, so don't worry and just be yourself!

Meghan D.

by ButterflyGirl18 on 12/22/2011 10:51:15 AM

 
 

How can you hate the holidays???!!!! xD well i don't know sometimes i get annoyed by my little sister but thats ALL the time, not just the holidays Smile

by basketballcutie11 on 12/22/2011 7:47:24 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!
Theres a guy who is being annoying and keeps flirting with me alll the time! Its really annoying to have this guy come up and tease/annoy/make corny and rude jokes to me when i am trying to talk to my crush, or anyone! Like if im talking to my crush he'll sing stupid kissing songs and go to his "follower friends" and have them make fun of me! His "flirting" can be rude! HOW CAN I GET HIM TO STOP!?!?!?! please help!! <3

 

Hey girly,

 

You need to pull this guy aside and tell him that you really don't like it when he does this sort of thing. Be serious and tell him that it doesn't make you want to be around him. Just show that you mean it but don't freak out or start getting emotional. Most likely, he'll back off. Good Luck!

Catie C.

by paramoregurl on 12/22/2011 12:50:39 AM

 
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