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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

How to deal with a guy spreading untrue rumors


 
 

Dear Rumor,

I understand you’re upset. But, believe me, the rumor will fade as fast as it started, especially since it’s not true and involves a guy you don’t even hang out with. Serious people don’t take rumors seriously. If you can’t ignore the rumor while it evaporates, ask your best buds to help defend your reputation. But be warned—this sometimes keeps gossipers gabbing even longer. For now, hold your head high and be seen in a positive light—perhaps on stage, in class or on the field. Don’t let a stupid rumor squash your confidence.
 
SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 12/21/2011 12:00:00 PM

POSTED IN , , , , , , ,

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40 Comments | Add Yours
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Well try to figure out the prob.!! Find out who spread the rumor and scool that person or ignore it, u know its fake and if your buds will stick with you if they r real buds

by Lollypop994ever on 3/2/2012 10:03:10 AM

 
 

I was talking to my friend today and she told me that everyone know that I like this boy, and I know she was telling the truth by the way she said it. She said that everyone catches me staring at him, so I know that I'm spacing out too much. But I don't want everyone to know and I don't want HIM to know!!! I have no idea what to do! Please help! Thanks!

by cityduck on 1/6/2012 9:56:19 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
How do I convince my parents to let me date. All of my friends can date, their parents and mine are good friends. My dad thinks that 21 is an appropriate age to start dating, but I wanna start in highschool. My dad is also over protective about everything. Please help




Hey girl,

The best strategy is not to use the argument, "Everyone else can date already!" That's not the way to go. Instead, be mature and show them you're good at getting to know people before making judgements about them, respecting yourself, and taking things slow. Try getting to know a guy before you fight for the right to date. Flirt, grow closer as friends, and discover all his amazing qualities. Then approach mom and dad. Tell them you've been getting to know this guy for __ months now and he's just great: he's respectful, makes you laugh, protects you, is studious and gets great grades, is dedicated to his sport, treats his mom well, etc. Show them all his great qualities and why he would be a good BF for you. Then tell them, "I know we had agreed I couldn't date til I'm 21 - and I totally respect your rules. But I wanted to let you know that I found someone really great, and I'm worried about losing that. I really want to date him and see how it goes. I feel old enough to handle it now - I know I won't take things too fast, I know I'll respect myself, I know I'll treat him well and expect him to do the same." See how it goes - this is a totally mature, classy way to handle the situation and I think it'll help your parents trust you more!
Lauren C.

by Kui on 12/31/2011 8:29:33 PM

 
 

I really want a boyfriend but my parents won't let me. I'm in middle school. My dad thinks that I'm gonna start dating when I'm 21, but u know that's not gonna happen. Guys have already asked me out before but I had to say no. How can I show them that dating isn't bad. All of my friends can date. Please help

by Kui on 12/31/2011 8:26:11 PM

 
 



MOD MOD
I was in class the other day, and my friend and i were talking about our term project grades. I told her i had done really well, and then this boy next to her jumps in and says, " you didn't do it buy yourself, your parents must have helped you". i told him i did it myself, and he replied, "then your boyfriend helped you." so sarcastically, i told him "yes, my boyfriend helped me." and i turned away. some girls around me started to laugh and look at me funny. Since then, that boy is constantly staring at me and it is getting uncomfortable. he will randomly walk by my desk and it's starting to bother me. Should i tell him to stop?
thanks in advance.




Hey girlie,

Absolutely - if it goes on too long and is starting to overwhelm you, be confident and tell him off. Say something like, "What are you looking at? Cut it out." Who knows why he's doing this (could be a crush, could be he thinks he's funny), but be strong!
Lauren C.

by caligirl95 on 12/29/2011 9:26:54 PM

 
 



MOD!! MOD!! MOD!!
kay, so me and this girl have been bff's forever but now that we have started high school (grade 8) she's been acting all wierd. It has always felt like we have been in one big competition between eachother but now its like we cant stop. I got my first bf last year and she hated him but idk why, we broke up but we r still great friends. My other friends are always happy for me but its like she never is. And now she has all of a sudden become bff's with my enemy!! She has also been really rude to me. I've called her on it a couple times because its gotten really bad!! I have a new group of freinds now but she still bugs me. Plus she hates my new friends and bf and it really annoys me. I have moved on, but obviously she hasnt! What should I say to her without hurting her feelings but not being super friendly like I want to make up completely??
Please answer quickly and sorry for it being so long!!
~HorseGirl2998




Hey girlie,

It sounds like this friend is going through some things right now, growing up and exploring friends/personalities/life. It's normal for besties to grow apart as they get older because it's natural for this experimentation to happen! If you're sure there's no chance to make things right again, just try distancing yourself from her altogether. Don't chat online, don't text, don't try to hang out. Don't consult her before making decisions or even listen to her if she's criticizing a crush/friend/hobby/outfit. Just let her go. It'll be hard at first because you're so used to having her around, but it'll be much healthier and more peaceful for you to do so <3 
Lauren C.

by HorseGirl2998 on 12/29/2011 5:24:17 PM

 
 

Hey masquerade, i've had this same problem before. I found the more I tried to deny having feelings for the guy, the more they teased me. So just go along with it. It defintely won't be much fun for them if they aren't embarassing you. Maybe let your guy friends know ahead of time your friends will be planning on telling them you like them. Hope this helps!! Xoxo

by Lynae P. on 12/28/2011 6:51:34 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!

Okay, so my friends they tease me about liking some random guy and whenever i denis it they keep teasing; its really annoying. One time my friend was like Do you want me to tell him you like him? she said it right in front of the guy! And I'm like I don't like him, but they don't believe me. The problem is they'll pick any random dude that I'm friends with. It bothers me I keep telling them to stop but they won't listen to me. What should I do?

by masquerade on 12/28/2011 5:35:36 PM

 
 

i think guys make up lies to seem cool in front of there friends. I just wish they wouldnt make up the lies and maybe do something else to seem cool.

by toribear101 on 12/27/2011 8:58:22 PM

 
 

Mod mod mod ok so I like this guy but there's this problem everytime I like a guy they figure it out and start ignoring me or being jerks.....how do I stop that from happening this time I've only told my 3 closest friends

 

Hey girl,

 

If you don't want a guy to know you like him, try playing it cool and talking casually instead of trying to drop hints! If he does figure it out and start being mean, he's not worth your time anyway!

Meghan D.

by natbe99 on 12/24/2011 12:17:02 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD ok so i REALLY like 2 guys at my church. im leaning towards the one more though. we talk a lot and he hugs me, but i still have yet to get his number. how do i do that?

 

Hey girl,

 

There's only one way to get a guy's number -- ask him! If you've been hanging out, he'd probably love to give it to you, but there's only one way to find out!

Meghan D.

by karategirl78 on 12/24/2011 11:22:33 AM

 
 



~MODMODMODMOD~
My little brothers NEVER listen to me, and sometimes not even mom! I have to babysit them when mom has to work. Lately, the older one of the two has been talking like a baby. They also fight constantly! I need help! Any advice?




Hey girl,

All kids go through phases and your lil bros are no exception - they're gonna misbehave, act rowdy, and be a little rougher than you were since they're boys. Instead of trying to make them behave like perfect angels while you babysit them, try to figure them out and go along with them for the smoothest babysitting experience possible! Try to observe them and see what their fave activities are. Do they always play basketball, or video games, or action figures? Whatever it is that they love, volunteer to do it with them. Use those activities to calm them down and make them happy Smile It won't work every time and they're going to feel a little outta control sometimes. But what's important is that you stick with it and get to know their interests so you can respect them, make personal suggestions, and stay on their side!
Lauren C.

by crush2010 on 12/23/2011 11:47:17 PM

 
 



Mod Mod!!well my best guy friend has been going on and off with one of my best friends since may. earlier this month they broke up and he started hitting on me and even asked my other bff if i liked him and my bff said no so he started going back out with my other friend. but now i like him and my bff told him i like him. we're still really close but its kind of awkward between us and i dont know what to do!!




Hey babe,

It's only awkward if you let it be awkward! The hard part is over - he knows you like him now. So take advantage of that instead of blowing it. Challenge yourself to act as normal as possible around him - be friendly, joke around, act laid-back and relaxed (even if you don't feel it on the inside). If you make him comfortable, you'll start feeling more at ease yourself Smile Keep trying! 
Lauren C.

by luv798 on 12/23/2011 11:13:57 PM

 
 

MOD,MOD,MOD There's this guy I like and I can't tell if he likes me back. We sit next to each other in class and we always tease each other and joke around, but I think he thinks of me as a friend.I really like him and he's super sweet, but I want to be more than friends! What should I do??

 

Hey girl let him know you want to take it a step further by asking him out. Get his number and see if he wants to hang on the weekends or something. Hope this helps!! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by saxophonegurlee89 on 12/23/2011 2:54:32 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
I was on facebook and this really hot guy that goes to my school chatted me. it was really a surprise cuz i hardly ever talk to him. he told me i looked cute today and i said "aw thanks! but i didnt dress any diff than usual" and he said "ik but you look cute everyday". anyway i really want to be able to talk to him more often and have actual convos so i can get to know him. what are good things to talk about? and even in general just talking to people i just met, what are good things to talk about without sounding like im writing a book by asking them a thousand questions? haha. thank you!







Hey girlie,

Try not to get ahead of yourself! Enjoy the fact that you had a convo today and see what happens in the next week or so. He might message you again - if he doesn't in a couple days, try making the first move and chatting with him first. Ask him about his holidays, chat about school and homework, ask him to tell you stuff about his interests, etc. Then always be on the lookout for ways to move the convo forward - by offering your opinions, asking him follow-up questions, etc. You'll get better at it as time goes by - and then you'll feel even more comfy talking in person, too!! 
Lauren C.

by pinkguitar98 on 12/22/2011 9:10:57 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD I asked this guy out and he said he needed time to think about it. it's been two days! should i just sent him a message or something? i really want to know if he'll go out with me or not




Hey girlie,

Two days isn't that long when you're deciding whether you want to date someone - that's a big step! You're just feeling impatient because you really, really want to know the answer Smile Try to focus on other things, go out with your friends, and relax. Since it's close to the holidays, maybe you can use a "merry christmas!" text as an excuse to ask him if he's thought it over!
Lauren C.

by nampung911 on 12/22/2011 6:18:15 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD soo i really like 2 guys(lets call them alex and jake) jake is a year older than me, while alex is 2. me and alex are better friends, while me and jake arent. both flirt with me(i think) how can i tell? and also, i dont have either of their numbers, but how can i get them? thanks!!




Hey girl,

If you're feeling bold, try this trick to get their numbers. Another way to get their numbers is to go off something you're talking about. For example, if one is talking about his amazing skateboarding skills, say something like "Why don't you give me your number so you can teach me that trick sometime?" You can tell if they are flirting with you if they are trying to make you laugh, looking at you directly, or if he's smiling lots. Check out our crush channel for more tips on flirting!
Rachel N.

by karategirl78 on 12/22/2011 4:06:24 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD !!
SO i like this guy but idk if i should like him anymore. Today was the last day till winter break and we kept asking eachother who we liked (truth or dare style) but we would tell. SO my other guy friend(his best friend) told him i like him. so im a patrol and when he past my post was like yelling and i didn't look at him becuase he didnt even say bye! then he came back but not for me oh no to give a present to the crossing guard. i have mixed feelings. what should i do? im mad at him




Hey Girl,

There's a chance that he might not know you're mad, or that he likes you too and is too shy to say anything. You should give him another chance and try talking to him. You won't see him in school over break, but can you shoot him an IM or a text? He would probably appreciate it.  
Rachel N.

by chick987 on 12/22/2011 3:59:50 PM

 
 

MODMODMOD
So I had an argument with my boy friend (a boy friend, not a boyfriend, just to clarify) and it was basically about him wanting to know what me and my friends were saying. It had absolutely nothing to do with him and it had to do with a guy that my friend likes. So he wanted to know but I didn't want to tell him cuz my friend was saying how she didn't want anybody to know yet. And yes, I know it was the stupidest of arguments ever but I didn't start it! He said if I didn't tell him, he wasn't going to be my friend anymore and I didn't tell him. So, the whole week, I didn't talk to him and he didn't even realize. Until yesterday, a friend of his said he needed to tell me something and I said, not talking to you. And he tried to be my friend again, except I'm still annoyed at him...it's almost Christmas, should I forgive him?

 

Hey girl,

 

Ah, boys. While what your friend did was immature, if it seems like he's sorry, why not give him another chance? You might need to ask him for forgiveness one day, too!

Meghan D.

by ekatia217 on 12/22/2011 3:28:12 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD There's this guy in my gym class i really like, we've only talked once on facebook and even if we dont go out i would love to be his friend, what should i do! Btw i should mention he's kinda popular and has a lot of friends that happen to be girls, he's single though

 

Hey girl,

 

If he's in your gym class, why not use that as a conversation starter? Ask him how the workout last class went, or if he'll show you his secret basketball tricks. Good luck!

Meghan D.

by elevenbailey on 12/22/2011 12:11:23 PM

 
 

Hey girlys!, Have Something your just dieing to as?, Need advice ASAP??? Or maybe just have a fun time talkin, Join Haleys Club Friendship Circle. When she has 10 Members She is going to make some one VP! Smile It could be YOU! girls, Smile ~~Your Friend Emma~~~

by Emma2112 on 12/22/2011 11:58:14 AM

 
 

**********ATTENTION**********

Are you a fan of The Walking Dead? If you are then join The Walking Dead Fan Club!!!!!!!!!! Where we talk about the show and even the books Laughing

by Princess Keziyah on 12/22/2011 11:57:35 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!
My BF and some other friends are coming over tomorrow, and he said he was gonna kiss me. This will be my first kiss, and i'm really nervous now. What should i do? Any tips?
Thanks so much! Laughing

 

Hey girly,

 

You should just try to set up a situation where you feel comfortable. Be excited and congrats girly!

Catie C.

by pottergirl135 on 12/22/2011 9:12:49 AM

 
 

oh he's a jerk! it gets better soon, trust me. I don't listen to the rumors. Most of the time they're about a guy that i supposedly like, so i just ignore them. You should too! SmileSmile

by basketballcutie11 on 12/22/2011 7:49:41 AM

 
 

I hate rumors -_-

by kayla9 on 12/21/2011 8:55:54 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD I ordered this new shirt from Wet Seal, (i ordered an xs) and It came and is HUGE on me! The sizing isn't wrong and I love the shirt, but any ideas to try and make it look cute? Thanks

 

Hey girlfriend, maybe you could wear it as an off the shoulder shirt. Pair it with some skinny jeans or leggings and you're good to go. Hope this helps!! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by txtingirl on 12/21/2011 8:29:59 PM

 
 

MODMODMOD i'm 14.i have been going out with my boyfriend for like a month now and we have kissed. and pashed once on my birthday,but cuz its the holidays,i haven't seen him in weeks,my friend got dumped cuz he said they will never see each other,i don't want that to happen to me,so i want to do something with him on the holidays,but i don't want us to be alone cuz when we r its a bit awkwad sometimes, theres not much to talk about,and its more fun with friends,but they r all busy or they can't do it,so i don't no what to do, should i just text him and say we should do something or should i try to get some of my friends to come?? thanx Smile

 

Hey girly, maybe if you plan something eventful for you guys to do it won't be so awkward. If you guys are ice skating or playing games at an arcade, you'll have so much fun doing what you're doing that there won't be time for awkwardness. So think of something fun you both will enjoy during this holiday break. Hope this helps!! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by triecelove'scandy on 12/21/2011 8:24:53 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD I'm just wondering if a tie blanket is a good present for your boyfriend? Thank you! Happy Holidays!

 

Hey chica, yeah I think a blanket is a cute gift. Maybe get one with his fave sports team on it, or one that's his fave color. Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by dancer1846 on 12/21/2011 8:08:02 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD I really like this guy in my class. He's my BFF's ex though. I told her about my crush and she said she's totally fine with it, and I believe her. me and my crush talk and text a lot, and in 2nd period he sits right next to me. He's one of my really good guy friends' friend, but I'm wondering if my crush likes me. in 2nd period he's always leaning closer to me and talking to me a lot and like when we're writing or something, he always rubs his elbow against me on purpose(: he's always touching my arm and like moving closer to me to help with an assignment(: he is really cute and I've never had a bf. I flirt with him, but how can I get him to ask me out? thanks!! <3 ]

 

Hey girly, well it defintely sounds like he's into you. When you're around him bring up movies you want to see and restaurants you want to eat at, eventually he'll get the hint and ask you out. Hope this helps!!! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by jo7jo on 12/21/2011 7:37:52 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD We're doing a play in my school, and I REALLY wanted a part named Adelaid. Well, someone else got chosen for the part, even though the teachers didn't let us audition or see who was most suitable, and I think that's really unfair Frown. And the person who got chosen for the part only wanted the part because there was a sword fight scene, not the character. We are allowed to switch characters, so I asked her, but she said no Frown. Well today, I figured out that if she just wanted that character only because of the sword fight, I thought that I could trade characters with my friend who really wanted to trade with me, that's included in the fight too. Then I could trade again for the part I wanted. But the only problem is I'm scared that she's going to say no, again, or worse, get mad or annoyed for me asking. What should I do??? Thanks!

 

Hey girly, the worse she can say is no, and if she does the world won't be over. Ask her again and mention the fight. Hopefully the fight will change her mind. And no matter what part you get break a leg!!! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by cloudyday on 12/21/2011 6:46:55 PM

 
 

Yeah, the boy I like spread this rumor that another boy in my class made me pregnant and everyone believed him. Ugghh. It's cooled down now, so don't worry about what happened to you!

by echri12 on 12/21/2011 6:04:20 PM

 
 

Rumors are like forest fires, they spread fast and they are hard to stop.

by Jaydee1098 on 12/21/2011 5:35:54 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD So there is this guy that that I really like, but he goes to a different school. We go to the same church so we see each other twice a week. We are becoming pretty good friends, but haven't talked too much. I am kind of shy if I have to start the conversation, but I really get talking and outgoing if someone approaches me first. How can I tell if he likes me? Thanks a bunch!

 

Hey girlfriend, you have to start talking to him more. Talk and flirt and see how he acts around you. Watch his body language and the things he says, to see if he likes you. Different guys show their affection in different ways, so see if you can figure him out. Hope this helps! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by Lindseyy716 on 12/21/2011 5:30:19 PM

 
 

I agree- One of the only things you can do is completely ignore it.

Join my club, 'Orchestra Nerd and Band Geeks.' It's a loose and fun club where we talk about anything and everything- But especially music Smile Go to my profile to join!!

by svds on 12/21/2011 5:19:08 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD! Hey, so I'm having my two really close friends over for New Years and their gonna spend the night, I live in the country and theres not much to do and I don't have cable but I do have netflix. What are some fun things we can do? Smile thanks

 

Hey chica, rent some flicks you think your friends will like. Grab a big bowl of popcorn, pizza, snacks, and drinks for you to munch on during the movies. Be sure you have blankets and pillows to rest on too. You guys could do each other's makeup and nails and make prank calls. Hope this helps!! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by NeverSayNeverGirl on 12/21/2011 5:03:36 PM

 
 

MODMODMOD
So there's this kid in my class who I guess is my friend (he's only in two of my classes). Anyway, he has asked out every girl in my class and been turned down every time. Well, lately he has called me beautiful and nice, and I think it's sweet and all, but I don't want him to ask me out, because I don't like him and then it will be awkward. His friend already told me he likes me and that he has "got her lined up to ask out". How do I let him down easy and keep it un-awkward between us?
Thanks in advance!

 

Hey girl,

 

If he hasn't asked you out yet, there's no reason to worry! If he does ask you and you're not interested, try to be kind in your rejection. Say you enjoy spending time with him but that you're just not interested in him as more than friends.

Meghan D.

by basketball7 on 12/21/2011 4:23:37 PM

 
 

MODMODMOD!
Ok, so I have gym tomorrow, and we're doing this holiday basketball thing, and basically, we have to work with our squad of like, 7 or 8 people, and make weird and/or easy basketball shots, like ones from between your legs or backwards or something. 2 problems here. 1) I royally stink at basketball, but I have to participate, because if I dont, my grade will get marked down, and I have straight As and dont wanna screw it up, and 2) My crush and his best friend are in my squad, and they're both pretty good at basketball, actually, one of them plays it. And Im the tallest out of my squad (boy or girl, and Im pretty tall, so people like, EXPECT me to be good at it, when in reality, I royally stink at it. Any ideas on how to avoid complete humiliation tomorrow? Thanks! Laughing

 

Hey girl,

 

I'm sure you're not the only person in your class who's not a basketball pro! If your crush is in your group, this sounds like the perfect opportunity to ask for help. He'll probably love to show you how to shoot, and it gives you an excuse to talk to him!

Meghan D.

by uni301 on 12/21/2011 3:59:42 PM

 
 

I hate rumors! What is the point of spreading them anyway?

by caligirl99 on 12/21/2011 2:06:56 PM

 
 

Poor girl. Hang in there-- we've all been there!

Hey hunnies, need quickie advice during Christmas break? I'm your gal! I check my GL account usually twice a day and I will be happy to help with any sitch!
Remember, no question is too embarrassing!

by Malgal22 on 12/21/2011 1:54:35 PM

 
 

i dont know why guys start rumors! it doesn't make them look cool.

by j4zm09 on 12/21/2011 12:43:58 PM

 
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