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GUYS | DATING 101 | DUDES DECODED

38 Comments | Add Yours

Cheating... or harmless flirting?

 
 

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Okay, so I have a boyfriend and he's AMAZING when he's not around this girl in my grade who's rather flirty. She won't leave him alone and always flirts but if I go anywhere near my boyfriend, she casually "walks away" but when it's just me and him, he's totally fine and sweet. What's going on?
 
Uh-oh, chica. Sounds like this girl is starting to encroach on your man.  As for right now, she's definitely towing the line between "okay" and "not cool."
Is your boyfriend actually doing anything wrong? Or is it all this girl's doing? Is it harmless flirting? Or is it serious macking on your man flirting? There are a lot of little factors that are just as important in finding out what's going down here.

Either way, you're going to need to have a face-to-face chat with somebody. If you're boyfriend is an active participant in all of the flirtatiousness, then he needs to own up to it. Let him know that it makes you uncomfortable. If he's a good BF worth keeping around and there's really nothing suspicious happening behind your back, then he'll understand without making a fuss.

On the other hand, if he's not the real problem, and instead it's simply this chick getting involved where she doesn't belong, then you've gotta' go right to the source. Pull her aside next time you see her and let her know that you have no problem with her being friends with your boy, but you'd really appreciate it if she'd step back a bit with the flirting.

BY JORDAN SARNOVSKY ON 1/8/2012 12:00:00 AM

POSTED IN , dealing with jealousy, guys, dating advice, GL's best guy advice, boyfriend Q & A, weird guy stuff, dealing with jealous dudes

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MOD
Even though the stuff that happened was 6,7,8 months ago, I find myself thinking about it sometimes, and I feel guilty for what happened with my friend, or I miss the guy I dated. And it was so long ago, I don't understand why. Because I'm happy with where I am right now, dating the guy I'm dating. But I never told him about what happened late spring/summer. And sometimes those ghosts sneak up on me and I have days where I'm just upset and I don't want to talk to anyone and I just think about everything that happened. But at the same time, I want to try stuff with the guy I'm dating. I don't understand how I can feel both at the same time, and I don't know how to make sense of my feelings.

 

Its gonna happen. I also have the same thing happen. Im completely comfortable with my boyfriend but I have moments when my past can upset me a bit. Give it time. It will get better. Just go slow with your new boyfriend and youll be fine. xoxo kerra 


Kerra S.

report

by nicegurl on 1/8/2012 8:20:11 PM

 
 



MOD
Last April I messed around with a guy friend who had just gone through a breakup, like me. It was the first time I had ever done anything besides makeout with a guy. I thought it would lead to a relationship, but we ended up fwb for about three months, until I stared dating a guy I had been talking to the whole time. When we started dating I was relieved, because I was tired of the physical pressure. But things with him quickly turned physical and we went even farther than I had gone with my friend. Everything eventually blew up, and I was disgusted with myself. That was six months ago. Now I'm two months into a relationship with a guy that's 18, almost 19 (I'm 15, almost 16). People tell me the age difference is too much, and that he's just trying to get in my pants, but he actually respects me, and has never tried to pressure me into anything. Part of me wants to try stuff with him, because I trust him. But because of my past I'm afraid. What should I do?
Thanks, Bekah

 

If youre not comfortable with doing anything physical then dont. Only do what youre comfortable with. Good luck! xoxo kerra 


Kerra S.

report

by nicegurl on 1/8/2012 8:06:11 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
So I like this guy, but theres been rumors going around that he's a cheater. One of my friends told me that he was going out with 3 girls all at once and they knew and didn't care (which I find hard to believe). I'm starting to have second thoughts about if I should keep flirting with him. I really like him, but I dont know what to think of the rumors. What should I do?

 

If people say hes a player he most likely is. You can keep flirting but keep your distance and be a bit wary. Wouldnt want you to get hurt. xoxo kerra


Kerra S.

report

by AvatarTLA on 1/8/2012 7:53:31 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!
OK idk if u will answer this but my boyfriend is a douchebag...most of the time. i am so confused cause he can be sooo sweet and idk if its just all in my head or what but i think he is just using me so he can say he has a gf. i just think he says sweet stuff just to say sweet stuff. idk what to do i don't want to break up with him but i don't want to have a jerk as a boyfriend.

 

Well if hes mean most of the time and nice only sometimes that doesnt sound very worth it. Does the good outweight the bad? If not its probably best that you end it. xoxo kerra 


Kerra S.

report

by Alykat18 on 1/8/2012 6:57:31 PM

 
 

My opinion is that the girl sounds like she is the problem.

Join my club, 'Orchestra Nerds and Band Geeks.' It's a loose and fun club where we talk about anything and everything- But especially music Smile Go to my profile to join!! svds

report

by svds on 1/8/2012 6:42:35 PM

 
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