Telling a fib to help your bud wiggle out of a sticky sitch
is totally a no-brainer, right? Wrong! Covering for your bud can be
harmless…sometimes. Other times, it can land you both up to your ears in big
trouble.
The no-shame game
Your BFF Jen was hangin’ at your locker, chatting about how
cute her secret crush Zach looked lacing up his sneaks in gym. You didn’t know
mean-girl Tiffany was eavesdropping—’til she told the whole school about your
convo! Jen’s beyond embarrassed. In a jam like this, it’s certainly OK to help
your girl save face.
Get the word out, loud and proud, and let all the
gossip-lovin’ gals know not to believe everything that comes across the rumor
wire: “Word is that Tiffany’s repeating stuff she thinks she heard Jen and me
talking about. She’s got it wrong. Of course, Jen does think Zach’s a great
guy, but I’ll leave it at that.” Then let the grapevine do its stuff. In a
jiffy, your direct approach should stop the talk in its tracks, plus let Zach
know your girl thinks he’s very groovy (in a way that isn’t goony).
When to keep it real
Sometimes, having your bud’s back isn’t what’s best for
her—or you. Say your BFF Eva asks you to tell her mom she’s at your house when
she’s really at the movies with Seth, the older guy she’s not allowed to date.
Should you go there? Nope. How come? Eva’s mom has the right to set her own
parental rules—it’s so not your biz. Plus, if you get caught lying for your
girl, Eva gets grounded, and her mom will see her (and you) as way
untrustworthy. Your smart move? Show your loyalty by telling Eva, “Sorry, can’t
do it—it could get both of us in tons of trouble.”
Listen to your gut
How you feel about a sitch is way crucial. If the little
voice inside you is screamin’ that covering for your friend isn’t the right
thing to do, it probably isn’t—so definitely don’t do it. You’ve got to be true
to you. A real friend won’t ever pressure you into doing something you feel
creepy about. If your bud freaks when you lay the “honesty is the best policy”
deal on her, stand your ground.
Talkin’ is rockin’
Cut confusion by keeping the info flowin’ at all times. Be
upfront about your take on the whole alibi vibe. You may not see eye to eye 100
percent of the time, but if you know each other’s comfort zones, neither of you
will get put in an icky sitch. The bottom line is that to be a great BFF, you
must show respect—for your bud and for yourself.
BY LISA MULCAHY ON 2/18/2012 12:00:00 AM
POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, how can I help my friend, my friend keeps lying