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ADVICE | DEAR CAROL

Bored with my besties

 
Whenever my best friend comes over, she doesn’t like doing anything. I like her, but I’m always bored.

 

Dear Bored Bud,

Make a list of stuff you like to do—alone and with other friends. Get creative, adding everything from playing Scrabble by the fireplace to making peanut butter brownies. Instead of asking, “What do you want to do?” and getting a shoulder shrug, throw out some suggestions. Or list your top-three faves and pick together.

 

Maybe she just hates making decisions or being put on the spot. If you make it easy for her, she might jump right in. If she isn’t the least bit interested in your ideas and doesn’t offer her own, it doesn’t mean she’s a bad friend. But, you also don’t have to invite a wet blanket over when you’re looking for some fun over winter break. Maybe she’s a good lunch buddy or phone pal. Surely, you have other friends who’d love to come over and hang out.
 
 

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.


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» 10 signs your bestie kicks butt

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 3/2/2012 12:00:00 AM

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MOD MOD MOD
The other day at lunch i was with my best friend and she was acting like she was mad at me or annoyed with me and she said some pretty mean things to me!i txted her tonite and asked her if i did something wrong and she said no. For some reason i dont belive her though. What should i do?

Hey girl,

Try talking to her in person next time you see her instead of texting -- it's easier to convey emotion when you can see the other person. Don't be confrontational, but you do have the right to tell her that her words hurt and you want to know what's up. If she's going through something, you want to be there for her, but you shouldn't have to be friends with someone who's unkind to you! If she still says there's nothing wrong, let it go, but be wary if she starts saying mean things to you again later.

Meghan D.

by peacenluv22 on 3/16/2012 10:14:51 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I have only have two close friends that I hang out with, but other than that, I only have a few other friends...I guess you could call me anti-social because sometimes I'm scared to meet new people because I get nervous about what other people will think of me. How can I make new friends and get less nervous about meeting people??




Hey girlie,

It's ok to have a few friends that you really trust! Some people are great at having tons of friends, while others prefer a few close ones. But if you do want to meet more people and feel more comfy around them, try getting involved in something new! The only way to really feel more at ease in social situations is to push your comfort zone and do some things that make you nervous at first. If you challenge yourself by joining a new club, speaking up in class, texting a classmate and asking if they want to hang out after school, or something else a little "out-going," you'll get better at it every time you do it! Smile 
Lauren C.

by iRokkin on 3/15/2012 8:15:09 PM

 
 

MOD MOD I have had this BFF for 8 years and I suddenly found out she told one of my deepest secrets to another girl who hated me for it. And she felt completely justified in doing it. I have so many things she has told me that I am ashamed t even hear, and she goes and says something I didn't mean and only said out of anger. I'm hurt and I want to trust her but I can't. I talked to her about it, and now she thinks it's all normal. I told her who I liked but I won't talk to her about things now because I am afraid to trust her.



I'd watch your words around her for a bit.  Don't tell her anything until she wins back your trust. Jordan S.

by romanticbookworm13 on 3/12/2012 7:55:40 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD! Ok, so I really need advice. My Best Friend has a friend that is a boy, and he bullies me. I try to be nice to him, but he is mad at me because I told the school psychologist that he was cutting himself, which he was, and now he hates me and is really mad at me, but even worse, he is trying to ruin my BFF and I's friendship. What should I do!?



You should try to go to her first.  Let your BFF know your worries before things really start to get affected by him.  Get in there before he has a chance to and head him off.  Talk to her about what she wants you to do if things start to change, so that way in times of doubt, you have a go-to plan.

It's likely that he feels like you're against him for now.  So, you can also try and talk to him about why he feels this way about you, and let him know that you want to try and repair the relationship.

Good luck, chica! Jordan S.

by Allicat13 on 3/10/2012 2:24:30 PM

 
 

MOD how come my comments never get posted? so i really wanted to know if 13 is a good age to be able to go to the mall with my friends? i have been out like this before, but when i asked my mom later in the year she said no. i guess im also asking how to decode mom.Smile
thanks and please answer this


Hey girl,

We're doing our best to answer all of your questions, so if yours isn't answered right away it means we are super busy! Some girls go to the mall when they are 13, but every mom is different. Ask your mom why she's not letting you go. Is it because no parents will be there? Tell her you'll check in with her at designated times, or have a parent go to another store while you're with your friends. Is it because she doesn't know the people you'll be with? Invite them to your house beforehand so she can see who they are. If you talk to your mom calmly and don't get upset when she says what you don't want to hear, you'll be more likely to get her to say yes. Good luck!

Meghan D.

by gingeriscute22 on 3/10/2012 11:21:32 AM

 
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