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ADVICE | FRIENDS | FAB UP YOUR FRIENDSHIP

32 Comments | Add Yours

Spring clean your friendships

 
 

Check these out, too...

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Over time, bad feelings can build up in a friendship just like the pile of clothes collecting on your closet floor. To boost your relationship with your best buds, you need to tackle the probs that you’ve been sweeping under the rug.

 

For example, say your BFF did something that hurt your feelings, but you never told her how upset you were. If you keep bottling up your feelings, you’ll resent her company and your friendship will fall apart. It’s time to air that dirty laundry babe. We’re with ya every step of the way.

 

Remember, the occasional serious chat with your bud might be difficult, but it’s gonna be great for your friendship. Just because you have things to say doesn’t mean you have to be rude or make her defensive. Honesty and sincerity are key, sweetie.

 

First, let your friend know how much you truly care, and how valuable your friendship is to you. Let her know that the purpose of this talk is to express your feelings and hear hers so that you can actually be together without any “bad blood” or hidden unpleasantness.

 

Then let her know what you have been feeling lately. If there is something that she did that hurt your feelings, let her know. Tell her exactly why what she did hurt your feelings, and exactly how it made you feel. Just remember to be respectful while doing this. It isn’t easy to hear that you hurt someone’s feelings, so your best friend may be hurt or even angry to hear what you have to say.

 

After you have expressed your thoughts, share the positives. Let her know how much she means to you, and maybe even tell her specific examples of times she helped you out or made you feel better.

 

Let her have her say. She may have been holding things back from you as well. For the friendship to thrive, your best friend needs to be able to tell you how she is feeling as well.

 

After your talk, you need to let go and move on. Everyone needs a little spring-cleaning every once in a while. Once your relationships are spic-‘n’-span, you can get back to havin’ fun with your BFFs.

BY SHELBY CONQUES ON 3/29/2011 1:04:00 PM

POSTED IN bff, bust my bestie problem, 411 on fighting with friends, growing apart

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32 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD,
My friend and I got into a big fight because she is getting her nose and belly button pierced! I told her to wait until she was older but she thought I was trying to control her! How do I get my friend back?!




Hey girlie. Just go talk to her. Tell her that you weren't trying to control her and that you care about her which is why you were concerned. And give her a little time. She will get past it. 
Marly Z.

report

by dragonbee on 4/11/2011 4:05:15 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
Can you post questions for mods that everyone else can't see??
Thanks <3 <3

 

 

Hey chica! If you want, you can specify in your question that you don't want everyone else to see it, and ask the MOD to delete your question when they answer Smile

xxx

Becca G.

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by fashiondramamusic on 4/10/2011 10:06:25 PM

 
 



Dear MOD, I have a bit of a problem. My best friend who I have known since kindergarten (we are now freshman in highschool) only cares about her boyfriend. It's all she talks about. I thought it would wear off and it was just the shock of having a boyfriend but they have been dating for two years! He is really possesive and needy, which makes me worry for her. She isnt allowed to really talk to other guys or anything and he gets mad when we spend time together. But its not just him. She is always worried about him.. what he will think, say, etc. All her facebook updates are about him and they walk to EVERY class together. She could care less about me anymore. I just want my best friend back. I have tried to tell her I wish she would worry a little less about him but she doesnt think its a problem. She thinks he is just the greatest, which its obviously not. Shes talking about marrying him and such. Even when we have to do projects for school she will say "im going with joe sorry" help!




Hey girlie,

I'm sure it's hurtful when you feel like you've lost your friend! My first advice is obviously try to talk to her and tell her how the whole situation makes you feel.  A true friend will listen and try to change her ways so that she can be a supportive friend to you.  If she doesn't listen, then find other friends to hang out with too...you can still be friends with her, but I'm sure you can have tons of fun with many other girls who can be a genuine friend to you!
Ruth S.

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by bvameli145 on 4/9/2011 9:49:28 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
So,my friend and I were on the phone and I told her I'd call her back in 5 minutes.5 minutes later I called her back and she told me she "had" to go do something.I know for a fact she didn't "have" to,she just said that so it seemed like she did,she wanted to.I kindly said,"Well you told me when I said I'd call you back in 5 minutes that it was okay and you'd be waiting.".She said that never happened,and it did.I told her how I've been sick all day and that I need a friend,but she said she didn't care.I also mentioned that when she calls me and I want to hang up I always stay on,she said she didn't care.I know she didn't mean those things but they still hurt.I still want to be her BBFL,(Best Buddy For Life)but I want her to know how I feel and say sorry,and mean it.She's sensitive,and really sweet,how do I tell her?




Hey girlie,

Just be honest and tell her that you were hurt because you needed her at the moment and she wasn't there for you.  A true friend will want to be there for you when you need her and she'll try her best to.  Let her know you value your friendship with her and you would love it if you could both be there for each other.
Ruth S.

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by MadMaddie911 on 4/2/2011 9:30:02 PM

 
 

I agree with that, dont let some things go unsaid because they eventually come back to cause problems. One of my close friends was upset I said something about her and it was taken all wrong and it bothered her for months and she didnt say anything until one day and then just went off. I thought she lost it but now all is good, you just have to talk, so I agree with the advice.

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by luckykel on 3/30/2011 9:29:27 PM

 
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