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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

35 Comments | Add Yours

Don't panic! What to do when you're freakin' out

 

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Just when everything seems to be groovy—kaboom!—life tosses you an icky curve ball. Maybe it’s a school crisis. Or your BFF is icing you. Or, yikes, someone told your BFF that your BF is kinda over you. But you don’t have to panic at the first hint of Big Trouble. Learn to think your way out of any surprise scenario—freakout-free!

 

Believe in the power of you

Take a deep breath, and tell yourself, “I’m smart and strong enough to handle this—no sweat!” Then don’t doubt yourself for a sec. Having faith in your ability to take care of biz clears your head so you can brainstorm a solution.

 

Face the prob

Don’t go all ostrich and stick your head in the sand, hoping everything will magically disappear. Be real about what has happened, and resolve to take action. That said, don’t strain your brain worrying about silly stuff that won’t amount to a hill o’ beans. So you turned up at the Spring Fling in the same dress as that evil cheerleader Cara. Who cares?

 

Get the 411

It’s super-important to gather the info you need to scope out the sitch. Rumor has it that your basketball coach is benching you for the next few games? Before you freak, you need to get the facts straight. Go to the coach and tell her what you heard. You might discover that it was just a bogus rumor. But if the coach tells you it’s true? Talk to her about why she’s sidelining you, and get pointers as to what you need to do to get back on the court.

  

Don’t stress or obsess

When you’re socked with a shocker, it’s natural to want to run the scenario over and over in your mind, trying to figure out exactly why things went down the way they did. Don’t torture yourself! Rotten stuff just happens sometimes.

Say your BF Jason drops you for another girl. Sure, it’s gonna bum you out, but talking about it with a bud can really help. Know that you can’t worry about it 24/7. It’s crucial to keep the rest of your life chugging along strong. Stay positive by focusing on your favorite activities—hanging with your girls, keeping up with Veronica Mars, relaxing in a yummy vanilla-scented bubble bath.

 

Increase the peace

Sometimes, the only way to deal with a sitch is to make peace with it. With certain things in life, you can’t affect the outcome. If your ’rents tell you the fam’s moving 3,000 miles away, then that’s what’s gonna happen. Rather than losing it, get excited about the future. Just think about all the new friends you’re gonna make and all the new things you’re gonna be able to see and do! It sounds corny but, sometimes, what looks like the end of the world actually turns out to be the best thing that could have happened to you.

                                          

Get your game on

Life will always be unpredictable. Don’t bother wishing your brains out that nothing bad will ever happen to you—instead, know that you can take control of most icky sitches. Are you calm? For sure. Have the facts? Indeed. Clear on what’s happening? Yep. Now, put your problem-solving plan into action. Then keep rockin’ and rollin’ at it until you feel better about what felt so bad. You are so up to the challenge!
 
 

Love this post? You’ll heart these, too!

» 10 signs your bestie kicks butt

» Spring clean your friendships

» Got a sticky BFF sitch? Dear Carol’s got all the answers!
 

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BY LISA MULCAHY ON 3/19/2012 12:00:00 AM

POSTED IN stress, stress busters, bust school stress

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MOD MOD MOD
Im a competitive diver and its really a lot of stress and i just cant take it anymore. Everything they expect us to do is so scary and to be quite honest I HATE IT. But my parents still think I love it because im too scared to tell them i dont since i quit gymnastics a while back. I dont want to dissapoint them, but i find myself dreading waking up in the morning because I have practice and crying when I get home from all the stress. Not to mention the fact the older kids i dive with drink and do bad stuff all the time and a college kid came back to dive with us during summer pushed my 13 year old friend (whos a girl!) off the diving board and cussed her out. I cant stand it there but I dont know what to do. Please help me! Thanks.

 

Hey chica!  If you hate diving, your parents are going to understand why you want to quit.  Tell them what you told me and I'm sure they'll be on your side.  No parent wants their child to do something they hate! If diving has a season, your parents may want you to stick it out til the end of the season, so you'll have to deal with the older divers.  Sometimes, older kids forget what it's like to be 13 and forget how their actions affect younger girls.  Just try to avoid them, and don't partake in their drinking or anything else you feel uncomfortable with.  Good luck! xoxo 


Kate G.

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by alyssadiver on 7/10/2012 1:06:09 AM

 
 



MODMODMOD
I guess to start off, my friend who lives out of state and I are going to a camp together that is way out of my state. Well, we were. I was talking to her last night and she said she suddenly couldn't go because of some financial problems. That really sucked, and I can't withdraw from the camp because it's too late. The thing is I've never gone without her and I'm scared of being alone. It's a good camp and I'm pretty sure they'll be nice people there, but I don't know. I just don't want to be a loner and have no one to hang out with. It's really bumming me out and I'm not quite sure what to do. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks.




 

Hey girl! I'm sorry about your friend Frown it's super important to be a good friend to her right now because I'm sure she's just as bummed as you are.  As for camp, consider this a new chance to make some new friends!  Make the most of it and I'm sure you'll make a bunch of new friends who have things in common with you.  A lot of people probably won't know anyone, so you'll be in the same boat.  Have fun! xxoo 
Maggie P.

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by maddiescar97 on 6/26/2012 3:12:18 PM

 
 

Mod mod mod!!
For the past three or so months I've been freaking out and having huge panic attacks about every single little thing wrong about me. I go crazy if I even get a scratch or if my head even starts to hurt just a little, if I have a slight stomach ache I jump to the worst possible thing that could be wrong, etc. I think I'm developing something along the lines of hypochondria, because I can never stop thinking about stuff that could be wrong with my health. I'm 13 and I have a line of different cancers in my family. I cannot stop thinking about illnesses and it's really driving me crazy but I have no idea what to do and I'd really like to fix this, but I have no idea how. What do you think could be wrong with my mental state and how can I fix myself from thinking this way???

Hey girl,

It sounds like you should get some pro advice from a doctor, your guidance counselor or your parents. They deserve to know what's going on in your life! And if you get stressed, relax and take a deep breath, because it's all going to be okay in the end Smile

Meghan D.

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by kaleidoscope_eyes on 6/8/2012 10:51:04 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD I had spinal fusion on june 7 2011 because i had scoliosis when i had surgery they put a titanium rod over my spine to keep it from curving.the problem is that i do gymnastics and i had to start back at level one and i cant do backwards or forward rolls or basically anything that requires curving your backi just CANT and it SUCKS what should i do about it???nobody will help!




Hey girl!

I am so sorry to hear about your scoliosis troubles! You sound like you've taken your situation in stride and that's something we can all admire. While it totally stinks that you can't do certain gymnastics moves, I think you should keep at it. If you love it, continue doing as much as you can. Maybe you can also find another sport or hobby that you love just as much and doesn't require so much bending of your back. Good luck! 
Rachael A.

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by hawii12328 on 6/8/2012 1:55:45 AM

 
 



Mod Mod Mod...
Alright,so my sister is going on a huge trip and she has to pay for it all.She is working for my parents and their company while getting some money by doing chores because she has to pay them back(they already payed for it all).My parents business is getting a little slow so my dad is working like 24/7.He is super tired and usually a little cranky when he comes home.He also gets really mad at my sister because she goes over her texting limits.So like at least once a week it is my sister with either my mom or dad or both fighting and yelling at each other.I don't really want to talk to them because they would just yell at me or get mad.A couple days ago my dad said at dinner that 'he works to pay the bill and that we(myself, mom, and sister) need to work some too'.Im only 13 and my dad gets super stressed about it all.I have a good amount of money myself and I know I need to do chores but he wants me to like work like a job for them too.My sister didn't when at 13.Help!




Hey babe,

Your parents are probably just super stressed and overwhelmed right now. Try doing chores without being asked to, and doing a little extra around the house so that he doesn't have to worry about that stuff in addition to his own work. Have a talk with your dad (or your mom, if that's easier) when he's in a calmer mood and just explain to him that you will do a better job of keeping on top of your chores. If he says that he wants you to work for his company, ask what you would need to do. It might be something easy that you can contribute. If it sounds like too much, explain to him that you don't have the time for a job right now but that you're willing to help with any additional projects at home! 
Kelly G.

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by Cowsrule11 on 5/25/2012 1:01:43 PM

 
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