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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

35 Comments | Add Yours

Don't panic! What to do when you're freakin' out

 

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Just when everything seems to be groovy—kaboom!—life tosses you an icky curve ball. Maybe it’s a school crisis. Or your BFF is icing you. Or, yikes, someone told your BFF that your BF is kinda over you. But you don’t have to panic at the first hint of Big Trouble. Learn to think your way out of any surprise scenario—freakout-free!

 

Believe in the power of you

Take a deep breath, and tell yourself, “I’m smart and strong enough to handle this—no sweat!” Then don’t doubt yourself for a sec. Having faith in your ability to take care of biz clears your head so you can brainstorm a solution.

 

Face the prob

Don’t go all ostrich and stick your head in the sand, hoping everything will magically disappear. Be real about what has happened, and resolve to take action. That said, don’t strain your brain worrying about silly stuff that won’t amount to a hill o’ beans. So you turned up at the Spring Fling in the same dress as that evil cheerleader Cara. Who cares?

 

Get the 411

It’s super-important to gather the info you need to scope out the sitch. Rumor has it that your basketball coach is benching you for the next few games? Before you freak, you need to get the facts straight. Go to the coach and tell her what you heard. You might discover that it was just a bogus rumor. But if the coach tells you it’s true? Talk to her about why she’s sidelining you, and get pointers as to what you need to do to get back on the court.

  

Don’t stress or obsess

When you’re socked with a shocker, it’s natural to want to run the scenario over and over in your mind, trying to figure out exactly why things went down the way they did. Don’t torture yourself! Rotten stuff just happens sometimes.

Say your BF Jason drops you for another girl. Sure, it’s gonna bum you out, but talking about it with a bud can really help. Know that you can’t worry about it 24/7. It’s crucial to keep the rest of your life chugging along strong. Stay positive by focusing on your favorite activities—hanging with your girls, keeping up with Veronica Mars, relaxing in a yummy vanilla-scented bubble bath.

 

Increase the peace

Sometimes, the only way to deal with a sitch is to make peace with it. With certain things in life, you can’t affect the outcome. If your ’rents tell you the fam’s moving 3,000 miles away, then that’s what’s gonna happen. Rather than losing it, get excited about the future. Just think about all the new friends you’re gonna make and all the new things you’re gonna be able to see and do! It sounds corny but, sometimes, what looks like the end of the world actually turns out to be the best thing that could have happened to you.

                                          

Get your game on

Life will always be unpredictable. Don’t bother wishing your brains out that nothing bad will ever happen to you—instead, know that you can take control of most icky sitches. Are you calm? For sure. Have the facts? Indeed. Clear on what’s happening? Yep. Now, put your problem-solving plan into action. Then keep rockin’ and rollin’ at it until you feel better about what felt so bad. You are so up to the challenge!
 
 

Love this post? You’ll heart these, too!

» 10 signs your bestie kicks butt

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BY LISA MULCAHY ON 3/19/2012 12:00:00 AM

POSTED IN stress, stress busters, bust school stress

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Mod mod mod mod
Ok so I told this guy I like him through Facebook........ I posted youd be cute with me on his wall........And he won't respond! He does other things on facebook and he won't text me back or message me back! He reads my messages just doesnt respond! How can I get him to respond?




hey girly! Guys get embarrassed very easily and being so public about you liking him may have been a bit too much, sorry to say. But try approaching him face to face on the side sometime so that he cant avoid you. 
Ana D.

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by Ms.cupcakeninja69 on 4/13/2012 9:08:33 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
A few days ago I found out that one of my friends, though not too close, has been going down the wrong road you could say. Her boyfriend of about 5 months who my family is close friends with has been most of the problem. But his parents don't know he's like that. She went to a party, more than willingly with him out on some logging roads and had 7 beers. Keep in mind that she weighs about 120 pounds... From what I heard she was completely gone and did crazy stuff that night and also tried weed and other drugs a few times. I'm worried about her. She has been skipping school a lot since she started dating her boyfriend which is bad because she used to be such a good student straight A's and is in all the honors classes, now she is falling behind. Her parents are ok with her having sex, which she does a lot, and probably won't care about the alchohol or drugs. I'm scared for her and I don't know how to address it next time I see her. Please help me!

 

I know it must be hard to watch. The only thing I can suggest is that you talk to her and ask how she is. If shes upset with her life and needs a change be there for her and just help her make that change. Most likely though she'll be "loving" life and having so much fun. Shes not gonna listen to a thing you say and criticizing her wont go well. The only thing you can do is be there for her. There may be a moment where everything falls apart and she realizes what she did to her life. Thats where you come in. Until that moment though shes going to make some bad decisions and theres not much you can do to stop her, especially if her parents dont care. It's rough, but its a part of being a teenager sometimes. I hope she ends up ok. Keep a look out for her. She needs your support. Also try pulling her out of the bad activities by inviting her to calm sleepovers and activities without said behaviors. She'll most likely blow you off, but you should at least try. xoxo kerra


Kerra S.

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by kittycadet101 on 4/11/2012 10:57:19 PM

 
 

MOD,
I'm so lost. I'm 5ft2 and at my last doctors appt. I was 104lb. My doctor told me to gain 3 pounds. My parents have been stuffing me with food because of it. It's not hard to gain 3lb and I've gained the back and then some. It was the hardest thing in my life. I feel like I'm out of control with my eating. I want to break down and cry every time I gain a pound. I just don't know what to do. I try to work out as much as possible but with working out so much my grades have faltered. My life is spinning out of control and my parents won't help me. I want to be slim and toned but I've tried so hard and it isn't happening. I hate being so sad I want to be able to have the body I want with out hating myself if I go off book by having ice cream or eat a lot every once and awhile. HELP!!! Cry

 

I think you need to speak with a doctor or councilor about your problems because it sounds like if you don't get help soon you might develop a serious eating disorder which I know you don't want. You also need to work on time management so you can fit your school work in. 

Amanda P.

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by GoGreenGoPeace on 4/9/2012 4:45:42 PM

 
 

Hey mickyabc, first thing you need to do is take a deep breath. Inhale and let everything out. Know that everything is going to get better because sometimes you have to experience the bad to get to the good. Many people have romantic feelings for their family members, while it's not okay it's normal. You just need to remind yourself that he is your cousin and he can't be anything more. 2. Are you old enough to start working? Maybe you can help your mom out by babysitting, pet sitting, or doing chores for neighbors. 3. I'm very sorry that happened to you but you did the right thing which was telling someone. Let your counselor know everything you're feeling about the situation, they will help you feel better. 4. Boys can be hard to understand sometimes, trust me I know. Instead of trying to chase him let him come to you. When he's made up his mind about how he feels for you he'll let you know. Hope this helps! Xoxo



MOD MOD MOD
K i have a few questions
1. i am so ashamed of myself i think ive fallen in love with m cuzin when he got married ran to the bathroom and started crying they were not tears of happyniess
2. My parents are divorcing and my mom dosent have much money but i need new clothes i cant even fit into some of my shirts
3.I have three dads now itss annoying
4. my dad sexually abuseed me i told m mom but he signed me up for counciling and im scared whats gonna happen
5. my crush keeps sending me different messages one day he acs all romancey the next day he acts lke he hates me! Lynae P.

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by mickyabc on 4/7/2012 1:11:48 PM

 
 



Mod mod mod mod
My sister has been dating a really nice, clean, polite guy for almost a year. For the first few months, everything was great. Then suddenly they had to work something out (which they did), but that led my mom to think that he can "talk his way out of everything" etc. She's been so judgmental of him for nothing. She and my sister have a lot of emotional fights about it and can never come to an agreement. My mom is so stubborn and judgmental; my sister is really happy with this guy, but that means nothing to my mom. She just can't find it in her to let it go and let them be happy. My sister's been feeling depressed and my mom has been so oversensitive, and this has all been going on since September. My sister's just so emotionally drained that she and her boyfriend are considering breaking up just to please everybody except themselves because they really care about each other. How can she get through to my mom to accept her boyfriend?
(sorry for the long post)




Hey girlie,

You can't force your mom to feel ok about this guy - unfortunately, if she's holding a grudge or if she's skeptical about him, only she can change her own mind. What's important here is how you treat him! If you trust him and think he's a great fit for your sis, make sure he knows that. Get to know him, show interest in his life/hobbies/family/background, and basically be a friend to him. He probably feels so unwelcome in your house and in your family but, if he gets support from you, it'll make them both feel a little better. It might not save their relationship, but if they love each other and are committed to each other, they'll make it work. You can't fix it for them and you can't change your mom's mind - all you can do is be a good person and stay true to your own feelings. If they're telling you to accept him and to care about him... then do it Smile
Lauren C.

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by tap_dancer on 4/5/2012 4:27:00 PM

 
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