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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

35 Comments | Add Yours

Don't panic! What to do when you're freakin' out

 

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Just when everything seems to be groovy—kaboom!—life tosses you an icky curve ball. Maybe it’s a school crisis. Or your BFF is icing you. Or, yikes, someone told your BFF that your BF is kinda over you. But you don’t have to panic at the first hint of Big Trouble. Learn to think your way out of any surprise scenario—freakout-free!

 

Believe in the power of you

Take a deep breath, and tell yourself, “I’m smart and strong enough to handle this—no sweat!” Then don’t doubt yourself for a sec. Having faith in your ability to take care of biz clears your head so you can brainstorm a solution.

 

Face the prob

Don’t go all ostrich and stick your head in the sand, hoping everything will magically disappear. Be real about what has happened, and resolve to take action. That said, don’t strain your brain worrying about silly stuff that won’t amount to a hill o’ beans. So you turned up at the Spring Fling in the same dress as that evil cheerleader Cara. Who cares?

 

Get the 411

It’s super-important to gather the info you need to scope out the sitch. Rumor has it that your basketball coach is benching you for the next few games? Before you freak, you need to get the facts straight. Go to the coach and tell her what you heard. You might discover that it was just a bogus rumor. But if the coach tells you it’s true? Talk to her about why she’s sidelining you, and get pointers as to what you need to do to get back on the court.

  

Don’t stress or obsess

When you’re socked with a shocker, it’s natural to want to run the scenario over and over in your mind, trying to figure out exactly why things went down the way they did. Don’t torture yourself! Rotten stuff just happens sometimes.

Say your BF Jason drops you for another girl. Sure, it’s gonna bum you out, but talking about it with a bud can really help. Know that you can’t worry about it 24/7. It’s crucial to keep the rest of your life chugging along strong. Stay positive by focusing on your favorite activities—hanging with your girls, keeping up with Veronica Mars, relaxing in a yummy vanilla-scented bubble bath.

 

Increase the peace

Sometimes, the only way to deal with a sitch is to make peace with it. With certain things in life, you can’t affect the outcome. If your ’rents tell you the fam’s moving 3,000 miles away, then that’s what’s gonna happen. Rather than losing it, get excited about the future. Just think about all the new friends you’re gonna make and all the new things you’re gonna be able to see and do! It sounds corny but, sometimes, what looks like the end of the world actually turns out to be the best thing that could have happened to you.

                                          

Get your game on

Life will always be unpredictable. Don’t bother wishing your brains out that nothing bad will ever happen to you—instead, know that you can take control of most icky sitches. Are you calm? For sure. Have the facts? Indeed. Clear on what’s happening? Yep. Now, put your problem-solving plan into action. Then keep rockin’ and rollin’ at it until you feel better about what felt so bad. You are so up to the challenge!
 
 

Love this post? You’ll heart these, too!

» 10 signs your bestie kicks butt

» Spring clean your friendships

» Got a sticky BFF sitch? Dear Carol’s got all the answers!
 

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BY LISA MULCAHY ON 3/19/2012 12:00:00 AM

POSTED IN stress, stress busters, bust school stress

< PREVIOUS   NEXT >   

Previous1…2345678NextShow All
35 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 

MOD MOD MOD!!
So my best friend, Olivia, likes this boy named Mason. Mason and I are good friends. Whenever Mason and I are talking, Olivia shoots me looks. When I talk to her about it, she says that I'm flirting and stealing "her guy". In fact, whenever any of her friends talk to him, she gets all strung up and complains about how we're stealing him. She says that we flirt.
We always argue that we're just talking, but she gets so angry. She's convinced that he likes my friend Harriet. We tell her he doesn't, but once she gets an idea, she won't let go.
It's sooooooo annoooyinnnnggg.
I tell her that I'll stop talking to him if she'll get off my case, but she always shakes her head and says it's fine. What really make me angry is the fact that she gets angry that we talk to him, but when we say we'll ignore him, she says no!
Help?!



Hey babe,

Sit her down and have a serious one-on-one with her.  Let her know that you and some others have noticed that she seems to get overly-protective over him and you don't want that to ruin any chances of her being with him and being happy.

Make it clear that you want her to succeed in getting what she wants, but be careful because she may think you're "attacking" her.
Jordan S.

report

by MissFrizz73 on 3/24/2012 6:09:55 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
ON my last post i meant that i hug her and say love you and stuff like that. I do hang out with just her and i am friends with her thats why i am so confused..
thanks

Hmmm...maybe she just needs a little time to sort things out then! Good for you for trying to be friends with her -- maybe if you just leave them alone for a little while they'll come around!

Meghan D.

report

by cgirl751 on 3/23/2012 10:39:31 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
I broke up with this guy about 1 year and 2 months ago. We decided to stay friends so he did. About2 weeks ago he got his first gf since we broke up. I'm friends with her now because of him. i found out today he thinks i hate her and im trying to sabotage their relationship. Also her and her friends think i like him still. I don't understand what i did to make any of them think that bc most of the time im really annoyed with him and act like I hate him and I am friends with her and we do the normal friend stuff like hugging and saying i love you in the friend way. Whats up with them?

Hey girl,

You can tell him you're not trying to sabotage his relationship and that you still want to be friends -- hopefully he'll trust you if you were together for a long time! It makes sense that she's jealous if you're hugging and saying "I love you" -- which can be said casually, but not typically by people who dated for more than a year -- she's still getting to know him and might be worried since you two have an extensive history. If you want to be friends with her and make them both like you, why not hang out with her one-on-one? She'll realize you're totally sweet and not a threat to their relationship. Good luck!

Meghan D.

report

by cgirl751 on 3/23/2012 8:47:34 PM

 
 

MODMODMOD my family isn't even a family anymore. As long as I can remember my parents always fight, my siblings fight with each other, and my dad yells at me and my siblings all the time. It's gotten so bad that I've slept over my friends' house A LOT and they've noticed. One day when I came home my mom was talking to me and stopped and looked and said how I grew taller and started crying because she barely sees me anymore. I've told my parents how I feel and they always ignore me and my moods been changing and my friends are noticing too. What should I do and sorry this is long.

 

Hey! I'm sorry to hear about your family troubles. It's hard when families fight, and when you're growing up in the middle of it, it's that much harder. maybe you should try seeing a family counselor, so that everyone has a chance to speak and be heard. If they won't go with you, you could also try talking to a counselor or trusted adult. If it all feels too overwhelming, don't hesitate to check this out: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx
Helen S.

report

by Sammy4457 on 3/23/2012 8:04:55 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
So i live in New England but we r having an extreamly hot march. ITS LIKE IN THE 80'S!!!!! All the girls in my grade have these short jean shorts wich they wear spandex underneath. Then they war low tanks or tshirts. What should I wear??? i REALLY want short shorts, but my mom is totally against them. (My mom is a high school teacher) I also wouldnt mind things from victorias secret pink collection... I've tried being good, and doing extra chores but she just wont budge. I'm out of ideas. HELP!!!!

 

Hey girl!  You can't really undermine your mother wishes, so just respect what she wants.   Maybe you should go shopping with your mom to see what she would allow you to wear, and take it from there.  Even if you don't get to wear short shorts, maybe you could wear the low tanks and t-shirts.  Or maybe you could wear skirts!  That's a nice compromise, right?  Never hurts to try!

xo,

Channa R.

report

by quahaugs on 3/23/2012 7:36:47 AM

 
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