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ADVICE | FRIENDS

Make your frenemy a true-blue bestie

 
Ever had a frenemy who you secretly want to be best buds with?  Sure you disagree about things now and then or argue over boys, but way down deep, you two are one of the same. Crossing the friendship line with some people may seem downright impossible, but surprisingly enough, it’s really not that hard. Here are our tricks:


Find a common middle ground
Both of you have an affinity for sports? A love for shopping? A fondness for pets? Take it from there and plan to hang out doing whatever that connection is.  Two gals who dig sports can go to their school’s home game, the ones who love digging through the racks can take a trip to the mall and you pet lovers can volunteer at an animal shelter together.

Figure out what had you two butting heads to begin with
Your disagreements had to begin somewhere, babe. Your biggest task is overcoming those differences so that you can become real BFFs. Tackle ‘em head on with a face-to-face chat. Is it over boys?  Lay down some guy guidelines. Feel like one of you never properly listens to the other? Talk it out! 

Fake it ‘till you make it
 If you act like you’re best friends and spend more time around each other, then you’ll gradually grow closer without even trying. If it makes you feel uncomfortable being by yourself with her when you’re not quite friends yet, go for a group outing type of thing.  Invite a bunch of your girls out to the movies.  But be sure to sit next to the frenemy and chat her up while you’re out. Before you know it, your probs with this new-found pal will be history!

Blog it in, babes.  Have you got a frenemy you want to turn friend?  Or is it too far gone to try? 
 
 

BY JORDAN SARNOVSKY ON 3/31/2012 12:00:00 AM

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MOD MOD MOD!
I was BEST FRIENDS with this girl in the beginning of the year (we weren't really BFF's I just faked it for 3 years! Right now I keep asking myself why i would just fake. But I did) but I finally stood up to her (she was really abusive to me and mean) and she kept saying 'no come back' and 'well this friendship was working for ME' and I had to say 'but it needs to work for both of us and it isn't working for me!' and she keeps saying 'your still my BFF for life to me, even if it isn't that way for you' and it's annoying! Whenever I talk to her (literally WHENEVER) she says "Yay we're BFF's again!" and we're not. I've actually tried to go back to her after a few months and for the first 2 days she was all nice and stuff, and then she was mean to me (really mean) and so I stopped. Later, I tried again, and it was the same story. She keeps saying 'come back to me' and I don't want to, I'm not going to. She's being abusive to me and trying to manipulate me! What do I do?

Hey girl,

If you're upset about what she's done in the past, tell her that! Say you'd like to be friends again but that it bothered you when she acted that way. If she apologizes, why not give her a second chance? It sounds like she really wants to be friends with you!

Meghan D.

by New_York_City on 3/31/2012 11:09:49 AM

 
 

I can totally use this. Most of my probs r solved.

by kdstrdn on 3/31/2012 10:44:40 AM

 
 

MODMODMOD
I was friends with three girls at the begining of the school year, and then I drifted away from them.(my choice and they were fine with it)Now I hang out with my best friends and am much happier! The problem is that the three mains girls and me are casual friends but they want to be best friends. I don't really want to become good friends with them because they are drama starters and kinda annoying

Hey girl,

If your pals are starting drama but you still want to be friends with them sometimes, maybe you can reach a happy medium. Tell them you enjoy spending time with them but that you're not interested in drama or gossip, and maybe they'll take a hint!

Meghan D.

by tweety545 on 3/31/2012 10:08:37 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Im going to middle school in august! but how can i be able to make it in the whole world on middle schoolers. There i this one girl who i knew since i was born actually and shes turn mean and punches my brother and one time we actually fought.When i enter sixth grade she will be in 8th what do i do!

Hey girl,

If you're worried about getting into a fight with this girl, just avoid conversation and confrontation with her as much as possible. If you do run into each other, just keep calm even if she's mean! As for the general transition into middle school, don't worry -- everyone's nervous about starting out at a new school! Check out this post on making friends at a new school http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/08/12/7-secrets-to-making-a-killer-first-impression.aspx , and this post has some great tips too! http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/08/17/First-day-freak-out-fix-its.aspx




Meghan D.

by fashionguru6 on 3/31/2012 10:04:54 AM

 
 

MODMODMOD I used to have this best friend that I was super close with for awhile but now all she is doing is hanging out with another girl. When I try to talk and hang out with her she never seems interested. I feel like we are drifting apart and I really miss her. What should I do?
(Also when we are alone by ourselves we do fine and have a lot of fun)

Hey girl,

If you have fun when you two are alone, she's probably still interested in being friends! Tell her you understand that she wants to have other friends, but you feel like you're being left out of the loop. Can you be friends with the other girl, too? If all of you hang out together, the problem won't be an issue anymore!

Meghan D.

by peaceluvsmile on 3/31/2012 1:49:54 AM

 
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