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ADVICE | FRIENDS

Make your frenemy a true-blue bestie

 
Ever had a frenemy who you secretly want to be best buds with?  Sure you disagree about things now and then or argue over boys, but way down deep, you two are one of the same. Crossing the friendship line with some people may seem downright impossible, but surprisingly enough, it’s really not that hard. Here are our tricks:


Find a common middle ground
Both of you have an affinity for sports? A love for shopping? A fondness for pets? Take it from there and plan to hang out doing whatever that connection is.  Two gals who dig sports can go to their school’s home game, the ones who love digging through the racks can take a trip to the mall and you pet lovers can volunteer at an animal shelter together.

Figure out what had you two butting heads to begin with
Your disagreements had to begin somewhere, babe. Your biggest task is overcoming those differences so that you can become real BFFs. Tackle ‘em head on with a face-to-face chat. Is it over boys?  Lay down some guy guidelines. Feel like one of you never properly listens to the other? Talk it out! 

Fake it ‘till you make it
 If you act like you’re best friends and spend more time around each other, then you’ll gradually grow closer without even trying. If it makes you feel uncomfortable being by yourself with her when you’re not quite friends yet, go for a group outing type of thing.  Invite a bunch of your girls out to the movies.  But be sure to sit next to the frenemy and chat her up while you’re out. Before you know it, your probs with this new-found pal will be history!

Blog it in, babes.  Have you got a frenemy you want to turn friend?  Or is it too far gone to try? 
 
 

BY JORDAN SARNOVSKY ON 3/31/2012 12:00:00 AM

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I'm working right now on turning my frenemy into my friend. We didn't like each other very much because we both play flute and things are very competitive in band.

by pinkbubblegum98 on 7/7/2012 1:25:18 PM

 
 

how do go from frenemys to friends with a guy?? me and one of my best guy friends are sorta friends-sorta enemys...we text and talk but sometimes fight and all the time compare grades in school...anybody know how to go to being frenemys to friends??

by loppyears12 on 6/23/2012 12:49:30 AM

 
 

MODMODMOD!!!
HELP! One of my besties got a new boyfriend! now, she only talks about him and doesnt care about the rest of us! she doesnt even want to hang out with us on the weekends anymore!! shes always texting him and ALWAYS talking about him. Ive never met him, but i feel like IM DATING HIM (YUCK) WHAT DO WE DO!?
The Happy Loner

 

Hey Girl! 

Friends who always talk about their new boy can be hard to handle sometimes. It can be a new and exciting time for them, and they may forget about their old friends. Tell her how your feeling, hopefully she'll come to realize that she needs to balance time with her friends and boyfriend.

SarahO.

by sarahOxoxo on 5/25/2012 12:34:25 PM

 
 

Okay...there is this innocent girl at my school, Sandy, and everybody likes to make fun of her. People scream if something of hers touches them or their property, talk a lot behind her back, and call her names. They have even started a thing at school that is kind of a game called the "Sandy touch"! I am one of her only friends. I don't know why everybody hates Sandy. I am so sad, annoyed and angry at everyone picking on Sandy! I try to speak up, but then people just don't listen. They always say, "I know that it would be mean to do to someone else, but she's Sandy, so she's an exception." or something stupid like that. I get so angry! What can I do to help Sandy?

*All names have been changed for privacy
*names has been changed for privacy

by hermionegirl12 on 5/21/2012 8:00:55 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!
Ok, so I am in a really small private school, and out of the 16 girls, the 2 most popular girls hate me. One of them (lets call her Sam) spreads rumours about me and tells the other one( lets call her Kim) to make her hate me too!! Recently, Sam told Kim that I called her a b-! I didn't though!! So, she called me and told me that she thinks its really rude. In response, I told her she heard me wrong and i would NEVER do that! I asked her who told her that and she didn't want to tell me because it would "start more drama". What do I do? I want to know who said that so I can confront HER instead of Sam.




Hey girlie,

If Sam has already started rumors about you before, she clearly likes the attention and likes to "stir the pot" by causing drama. You could trust her and believe she heard this from someone else... but her reputation isn't great, so personally I'd be suspicious that she made the rumor up herself. Whatever you do, don't go poking around trying to find out who said this in the first place. Because she's actually right - it WOULD start more drama! The best thing to do is just shrug your shoulders and move on. You can't please everyone, and people are going to talk no matter what. The best thing to do is make sure they know you don't let it bother you! <3 If you're cool and calm about it (and just keep to yourself), they'll lose interest in making up all these silly rumors.
Lauren C.

by bridget98 on 4/26/2012 8:34:09 PM

 
 


MOD,MOD,MOD,MOD
Please help! i have this small really red and noticeable pimple on my cheek that has lasted 4 weeks! Normally it would go away in a week or less. I have been patient but now i'm not seeing it fade or anything and I cant pop it either because it doesn't have a head. What can i do to make it go away?


Hey cherrykiss900, be sure you're washing your face every morning and night. Get some Witch Hazel(it has nothing to do with witches, just a funny name lol) from CVS, Rite-Aid, or Walgreens, put some on a cotton ball and dab it on your pimple for a few days. You could aslo try purchasing a bottle Burt's Bees Acne solution. It's about $9 and it works, I've used it before. My friend always dabs toothpaste on her pimples overnight so they can dry up, and in the morning she wipes it off with a warm cloth. Hope one of these work for ya! Xoxo


Lynae P.

by cherrykiss900 on 4/14/2012 12:08:08 PM

 
 

I have a frenemy I want to be friends with. I don't think it's too far gone to try, so this was really helpful!

by supersingershannon on 4/9/2012 4:29:32 PM

 
 

Heyy gurls!! Need some first hand, good advice, like this GL poast? On friends, school, work, fitness, fashion, or anything and everything else?!? You can join the club Queens of hearts <3, it is run by our fabulous president honeycakes!!! I am a member and today you should join too!! You can become an officer and share your great advice, or be a member and chat with others, and ask your questions!!

by Seal17 on 4/5/2012 10:35:26 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
I'm going to a secondary school next year and i'm anxious!! I have never met a new person in my whole 7 years of elementary school!! Do you have any tips on making new friends? The whole: Nice to meet you: is soo lame. Help!! Thank you!!




Hey girlie,

Believe it or not, on the first day of school "Hey I'm ___, nice to meet you!" isn't actually lame... it's TOTALLY normal! The important thing is to be outgoing when you get to your new school and meet friends whenever possible. Pick a lunch table and ask the group there if you can sit with them, then chat and get to know them while you eat. Make small talk with your classmates in each class. Introduce yourself to the girl who has the locker next to yours. Join some new clubs or sports and talk with the people there. It's all about pushing yourself outta your comfort zone, even if it feels a little lame, so you meet as many people as possible and can find the ones you "click" with the best! <3
Lauren C.

by chick987 on 4/5/2012 10:18:39 PM

 
 

Hey just to let you guys know, this totally works. i hadn't read the article before doing this, but now me and my frenemie are now so close, it's so great. She's my new bff.

by bluegreen332 on 4/5/2012 7:29:18 PM

 
 

i only have one frenemy but i don't have plans on making her one of my besties! She treats me horrible and I don't understand how we became friends though Tong
ATTENTION BAKERS OR FOOD LOVERS
Love baking? Join Cupcakes 101! I post weekly recipes and I recently posted 2 recipes involving a cake mix. Cake mixes are not the best things to use in a cake but sometimes you could make delicious things. If you're not into those cake mixes, no worries! I usually only post recipes for made-from-scratch batter, so if you;re new you could check out the older posts. Join Cupcakes 101 today! Laughing

by purplenurple88 on 4/4/2012 11:39:34 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
So my sister changed school last year and next school I'm going there too. But my sister told some people that I'm coming and apparantly they're asking what I'm like and one guy even asked if I'm as pretty as her! So honestly yeah my sis is pretty but I don't even come close! She also knows 2 girls who will be in my class which is actuallya good thing but I feel like everybody will be expecting me to be like her or comparing me and especially the guys will be like 'oh shes not that pretty' and stuff.
And that just makes me more nervous changing schools, I feel like the people there will have false expectations of me and that I'll 'dissapoint' them.
I'm actually NOT an insecure person, I'm actually very outgoing but now I'm just really nervous!
What can I do???
Thank you 1'000'000x !!!!
Kristi

 

Hey chica!

Beauty is very subjective, so it's likely that many people think you're even prettier, while some may not and some may think you guys are equally pretty. For instance, have you seen people that are supermodels, but you personally didn't think was really good looking? A lot of times personality and familiarity affects how people gauge looks, too. Someone that may not initially look as attractive can look amazing after a little while or after they charm people with their persona. So be yourself, confidence as well as vulnerabilty is very human and attractive. If anything, your soon-to-be school mates might feel a bond toward you because they know your sis. 


Krupali D.

by imblonde5678 on 4/3/2012 1:21:18 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
How do you know if a guy really likes you. One of his friends (who's a girl) told me that he likes me but also likes another girl alittle more. Thnx!

 

Hey chica!

Usually when a guy likes a girl, he makes sure she knows by telling her and asking her out to gauge her interest. If he hasn't done that, chances are he doesn't. But if you'd like to know for sure what's in his heart is by talking with him and asking him. <3


Krupali D.

by nerdygirl71 on 4/3/2012 11:19:12 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
Ok so my friend libby has been really annoying and rude lately. So, if me and my bff are talking she'll litterally grab my bff's arm and drag her away or be all like "i stole something from ur lunch, better chase me to get it!" So i hardly get to talk to my BFF AT SCHOOL! And at lunch if i sit by my bff libby with put her lunch box inbetween us ans tell us to move over. If we say no she yells and gets really nasty. At our break she got really mean cuz me and my bff were doing a game with like 3 other people and she wanted my bff to go do something with her, but my bff didn't want to so she started yelling at ME?! what the heck?! I want to be a good friend to both of them but i'm just fed up with libby right now, what do i do?

 

I think you should talk to your parents about this first. Libby could be going through something rough at home and just taking it out on you and your bff. After that it might be a good idea for you and your bff and have a personal talk with Libby in private and explain to her how her behavior lately has been annoying and straining on the friendship. Maybe she doesn't know she is being rude. 

Amanda P.

by karasinski on 4/2/2012 10:41:05 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
My profile's not publicly visible.I'm 11 so I got an email sent to my mom she approved but still it's not publicly visible HELP!!!!!!!

 

There could just be some lag time between the approval and the visibility. Us mods are not in charge of profile approvals but I would say just give it some time. 

Amanda P.

by LilyBS123 on 4/2/2012 4:18:17 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
My bestfriend got a boyfriend 6 months ago and they are still together. I love their couple because I was best friends with the boy when I was little and I'm best friends with the girl now. Problem is, the boy changed. HE IS THE DEFINITION OF A TOOL. I can never hangout with her on Fridays now because he is with her and if I want to go on a trip with her she always asks if we will be home in time so she can watch wrestling with him. I'm loosing her and my other friends are noticing. I really don't think she likes me anymore either. She really never asks to hang out and hangs up or ignores my calls. I don't know if she is worth my time anymore, or if I should just give up on this. thanks Smile

 

Hey girl, this is always a really tough thing, because it happens pretty frequently and there's not much you can do. Sometimes when a girl gets into a relationship, she can forget to make time for her friends.  If they break up things will probably go back to normal, but until then the best thing to do is tell her how you feel. It would NOT be a good idea to tell her you don't like her boyfriend, because people can take that really personally, but I think if you just tell her you feel neglected and ask her to make an effort to hang out with you, she'll try. Try suggesting you guys get together one day a week (like she hangs out with her BF on Fridays) just to hang out. Most of all, be patient - if the situation was reversed and you were really excited about a guy you were dating, you'd probably lose track of your friends too.  xoxo Allie


Allie S.

by katiez123 on 4/1/2012 5:27:11 PM

 
 

Hey girlies! Looking for advice? Join my advice queen page!! Username=honeycakes
I'm a fairly new advice queen but I promise you great advice on boys, friends, bullying, makeup, hair, clothes, school, fitness, healthy eating, self esteem, and more! I will answer allllllll your questions!!

Or join the club Pink Zebra ! I am the vp and I also give advice there! Luv honeycakes

by honeycakes on 4/1/2012 5:05:36 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD
Sometime's when I send a risky text to my crush (like a really flirty one or something)..if he doesn't respond within like 2 minutes Iget super panicked and regret sending the message how can I get rid of these jitters:s
Thanks!Smile xoxo




Hey girl,

That's so normal! I get that way too - and all those jitters/butterflies are part of the fun of having a crush! Just think carefully about the text before you send it. Make sure you're not coming on too strong and you're being your normal, friendly, relaxed self. Then, send it. Once you send it you can't go back, so take a deep breath and accept that it's done. And it always helps me if I do something right afterward to take my mind off it, like hang out with friends, take a shower, paint my nails (then you REALLY can't keep grabbing your phone and obsessing), etc. Those doubts won't go away completely, but just remember to stay calm about the whole thing and let him decide what to do once the ball is in his court <3
Lauren C.

by Emily241997 on 3/31/2012 9:18:53 PM

 
 

@Kayla9 I looked it up and watched a few, tell your friend she's awesome!!! Smile

by raeshrimp on 3/31/2012 7:40:45 PM

 
 

Gawd, I swear some of the people I thought were my friends are really frenemys Frown

by Minaxoxo on 3/31/2012 6:00:46 PM

 
 

Hey girls, check out my club "The GL Journal" Smile

by wednesday1408 on 3/31/2012 5:33:03 PM

 
 

Hey rtbk979, this is a tough sitch. Just make it clear to your BFF that you two are just friends, and let them both know you will not interfere with their romantic past. It may be best not to mention them to each other, to avoid any drama. Hope this helps! Xoxo



MOD MOD MOD I have the same problem (as the one in this article) except it's with a guy, who I was best friends with LAST YEAR. THIS year, my BFF went out with him (so me and this guy drifted apart), and after they broke up (it's been about 5 months) she still likes him. What should I do to be as close to him as last year, without hurting my BFF? Lynae P.

by rtbk979 on 3/31/2012 3:16:44 PM

 
 

these r good ideas, but my frenemy is just not that type of person and im not into this whole thing either, (especially with her) so yeaa i think we're pretty much going to stay frenemies till the end of time Tong

by stylecrazy503 on 3/31/2012 2:54:31 PM

 
 

Hey girls!
Please check out my bff's YouTube vids: She creates music videos using anime and popular songs. So if you have any free time, maybe you could like, share, drop a comment or suggest other songs she could try? Laughing Just search the user mont-blanc camille
Thanks!

by Kayla9 on 3/31/2012 2:37:51 PM

 
 

Iink I might try this out on my guy frenemie/ crush

by heather99 on 3/31/2012 2:36:59 PM

 
 

Hey im2coolforyou, it sounds like he's trying to get to know you now and is starting to like you. He probably doesn have much to say about the time you told him you liked him. No worries. Xoxo



mod mod mod mod
the thing is before i told him i liked him and since then he has been talking to me more but he told me he doesn't know me very much because we just started talking to each other. i'm confused cause he never talks about the time i told him i fancied him? Lynae P.

by im2coolforu on 3/31/2012 2:24:47 PM

 
 

Hey rockstargal03, it wouldn't hurt to try to make some new friends. You could still remain friends with your pals now, but its nice to have more than one group to choose from. Try joining clubs at your school to meet new people, if you ever have a group project to do in class get close to your partners, if you like anyone from your class start talking to them more and get their number. Remember girl, the way to make a friend is to be one,msomshowmpeople your friendly, honest fun side. Hope this helps! Xoxo



MOD! I don't really have any close friends. I always feel like the one that's left out of all the plans in my group. they're really nice and funny, and we get along great during school and whenever we do hang out, but they always do things without me. And the only time I do hang out with them, i have to ask them. I don't really want to confront them, and i'm not outgoing at all, so what do i do? Thanks. Smile Lynae P.

by rockstargal03 on 3/31/2012 1:49:38 PM

 
 

Hey im2coolforyou, from what you're telling me this guy defintely likes you. Wy else would a boy put <3 and xxxxx into a text message. And he's always hanging around you trying to make you laugh. When you see him just be yourself, because that's why he likes you. Ask him questions about his family, friends, interests, goals, etc. to get to know him better. You can also talk about school, movies, tv, and music. I'm sure he'll have some stuff to ask you to so no worries. Have fun! Xoxo



mod mod mod
well i'm meeting this guy from school, he asked for my number and i gave it to him. We started texting and he puts loads of 'xxxxx' and once he put a '<3'. I out n'awww and i think he got a bit shy. He is a year older than me so in school i only see him at lunch . He tries to talk to me and makes me laugh and he tries to 'high five' me and i don't do it back. He says i bully him as a jokey way and i really like him and my friend says it obvious but i'm kinda insecure so i don't think so but does he? also i meeting him with my friend so i want to get to know him better so what are some things to say?Smile Lynae P.

by im2coolforu on 3/31/2012 1:38:35 PM

 
 

Kool

by gleek18 on 3/31/2012 12:08:00 PM

 
 

Meghan D.
MOD MOD MOD MOD!
I can't! I've given her a 4th chance and each time, she's mean mean mean! Our mom's don't want us to ever be together again. And I don't want to be her friend again, I really don't want to be her friend, but she won't accept that, and I need to know how to tell her that but without being mean. Help!

Hey girl,

If you really don't want to be her friend, maybe just tell her that and she'll leave you alone. Say that you don't want a friend who's going to be mean to you, and that while you had fun in the past you don't think a friendship will work out in the future.

Meghan D.

by New_York_City on 3/31/2012 11:53:34 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!
I was BEST FRIENDS with this girl in the beginning of the year (we weren't really BFF's I just faked it for 3 years! Right now I keep asking myself why i would just fake. But I did) but I finally stood up to her (she was really abusive to me and mean) and she kept saying 'no come back' and 'well this friendship was working for ME' and I had to say 'but it needs to work for both of us and it isn't working for me!' and she keeps saying 'your still my BFF for life to me, even if it isn't that way for you' and it's annoying! Whenever I talk to her (literally WHENEVER) she says "Yay we're BFF's again!" and we're not. I've actually tried to go back to her after a few months and for the first 2 days she was all nice and stuff, and then she was mean to me (really mean) and so I stopped. Later, I tried again, and it was the same story. She keeps saying 'come back to me' and I don't want to, I'm not going to. She's being abusive to me and trying to manipulate me! What do I do?

Hey girl,

If you're upset about what she's done in the past, tell her that! Say you'd like to be friends again but that it bothered you when she acted that way. If she apologizes, why not give her a second chance? It sounds like she really wants to be friends with you!

Meghan D.

by New_York_City on 3/31/2012 11:09:49 AM

 
 

I can totally use this. Most of my probs r solved.

by kdstrdn on 3/31/2012 10:44:40 AM

 
 

MODMODMOD
I was friends with three girls at the begining of the school year, and then I drifted away from them.(my choice and they were fine with it)Now I hang out with my best friends and am much happier! The problem is that the three mains girls and me are casual friends but they want to be best friends. I don't really want to become good friends with them because they are drama starters and kinda annoying

Hey girl,

If your pals are starting drama but you still want to be friends with them sometimes, maybe you can reach a happy medium. Tell them you enjoy spending time with them but that you're not interested in drama or gossip, and maybe they'll take a hint!

Meghan D.

by tweety545 on 3/31/2012 10:08:37 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Im going to middle school in august! but how can i be able to make it in the whole world on middle schoolers. There i this one girl who i knew since i was born actually and shes turn mean and punches my brother and one time we actually fought.When i enter sixth grade she will be in 8th what do i do!

Hey girl,

If you're worried about getting into a fight with this girl, just avoid conversation and confrontation with her as much as possible. If you do run into each other, just keep calm even if she's mean! As for the general transition into middle school, don't worry -- everyone's nervous about starting out at a new school! Check out this post on making friends at a new school http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/08/12/7-secrets-to-making-a-killer-first-impression.aspx , and this post has some great tips too! http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/08/17/First-day-freak-out-fix-its.aspx




Meghan D.

by fashionguru6 on 3/31/2012 10:04:54 AM

 
 

MODMODMOD I used to have this best friend that I was super close with for awhile but now all she is doing is hanging out with another girl. When I try to talk and hang out with her she never seems interested. I feel like we are drifting apart and I really miss her. What should I do?
(Also when we are alone by ourselves we do fine and have a lot of fun)

Hey girl,

If you have fun when you two are alone, she's probably still interested in being friends! Tell her you understand that she wants to have other friends, but you feel like you're being left out of the loop. Can you be friends with the other girl, too? If all of you hang out together, the problem won't be an issue anymore!

Meghan D.

by peaceluvsmile on 3/31/2012 1:49:54 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Okay so i have a big problem! I'm a hige tomboy, I'm a freshman and I wear mostly guys clothes and zero make up! People at my school are starting to say I'm lez, which I'm not! I'm 100% straight! But at my tiny school if one person says something, even a lie, it spreads like wildfire! I don't want them to keep thinking that, but I also don't wanna have to change my style! HELP! What should I do!?

Hey girl,

It stinks that there are such yucky stigmas attached to tomboys and to lesbians -- it's totally okay and normal to be either one, or both! You don't have to change your style to counteract rumors -- as long as you know yourself, that's all that matters. Find friends who appreciate your tomboy style and ignore everyone else!

Meghan D.

by selgomez1997 on 3/31/2012 1:05:40 AM

 
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