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ADVICE | DEAR CAROL

26 Comments | Add Yours

I don't want to be a pushover anymore!

 

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I am a huge pushover. I constantly worry about what others think of me and can never get the courage to stand up for myself without feeling guilty. I get so flustered that I want to run and hide, which is usually what I end up doing. Any advice on assertiveness?

 

Dear Pushed Over Too Many Times,

A lot of girls are shy and accommodating. Ask yourself this: If you speak up, what are you guilty of? Having an opinion? Being an individual? The fact is, you don’t approve of everybody’s actions, and everybody may not approve of yours. And that’s OK.

 

To become more assertive, start by speaking up more at home, in your favorite class and with other girls (many of whom also feel insecure). Think about what you are best at, and develop those skills. Little by little, you can feel powerful instead of invisible.
 
 

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.


For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com or like her Facebook page.

 

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 4/20/2012 12:00:00 AM

POSTED IN bad friend, dear carol solves BFF probs, my BFF is so bossy, leadership 101, self-esteem, advice from Carol Weston

< PREVIOUS   NEXT >   

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26 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 

I feel your pain. Sometimes, I want to get back at people, but end up forgiving them, even if they really hurt my feelings. I just want it to stop!

report

by peppercyndaquil13 on 8/20/2012 6:50:20 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD! I'm always soooo worried about what people think about my face and hair. Sometimes I have bad acne, other times my hair is messy and crazy. How do I fix that?




Hey girlie,

It's sooo easy to get wrapped up in looks, but think about it - EVERYONE is going through the same thing you are right now! The acne, the insecurity, the discomfort with your bod. Everyone is going through puberty and growing super fast, so everyone is more uncomfy than they seem. The best thing to do is take care of yourself so you feel good: 

- Work out regularly, to release endorphins and get in shape. Check out our Workouts section for some great ideas! http://www.girlslife.com/category/workouts.aspx

- Clear skin is totally within reach! Check out this article for our A-to-Z acne-free guide: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/08/02/GLs-A-to-Z-guide-to-clear-skin.aspx

- Adjust to your changing bod. Your hair might feel crazy or greasy sometimes, but that's probably because your hormones are in flux. Sometimes you won't know how to feel, or how to keep up with all the changes. Do the best you can - take a cool shower and wash off all the "messy and crazy." You'll wash off the messy and crazy from your mind too and be able to start all over, fresh and new Smile Hang in there, babe!
Lauren C.

report

by hjade12 on 8/2/2012 6:30:19 PM

 
 

We have one thing in common caring what others think, if i say it matters i'd be a hypocrit. So i wont, what i will say, is dont car, i used to care i finally realized, of people hate me, they hate me. Even the nicest people are hated theres nothing you can do except be you. Dont waste your time worrying about what others say and think, take it from me its a waste of time, their immature. Focus your time into others things, talk to your friends, be happy excited talk about something else, not something that will bring you down. As for sticking up for yourself, you could talk to your counsler about it, o if your unconferterable with that, google good combacks, however i recomend the counsler, ive been bullied before and sometimes i still am by the same person and i finally realized there not going o stop they'll always hate me and im not going to change me to please her. But the counsler got me through the hardest parts of it, and helped me find ways to stick up for myself.

report

by 1tennischik on 7/13/2012 12:00:49 AM

 
 

I get the same way to somtimes every on dose u will be fine

report

by danceismylife123 on 5/10/2012 9:15:54 PM

 
 

i likr u

report

by kmdtwin on 5/10/2012 5:00:47 PM

 
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