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GUYS | DATING 101 | SPLITSVILLE

Cheated on? How to trust your next guy


 
I have been cheated on two times by guys I REALLY cared about. I now feel like I can't trust boys or date. There is this guy I like but I now feel like I can't trust him and that I will get cheated on again.

 

Hey girl! Relationships are tough no matter what. We all know that it takes work, commitment, and good judgment to make it work. Here’s the good news: there are definitely guys out there you can trust. Sure, there are some bad seeds, but some are as sweet as sugar. You just have to know how to call them. Shy guys or guys with unbelievable morals are usually the types you can trust. My advice would be to get to know the guy you like first, talk about everything under the sun with him and get to see how his mind works. You’ll be able to trust him when you know him well enough. 
 
I am so sorry you had to go through being cheated on. That can really take a toll on someone’s self-confidence – though it shouldn’t, you are not the reason he’s a jerk. However, if you take those unfortunate experiences and turn them into a life lesson, it can greatly help you in whom to trust. No matter if you think a guy is so good, or would never hurt you, you won’t be sorry for being careful and making sure you know what you’re getting into.
 

BY CHANNA RIFKIN ON 4/22/2012 12:00:00 AM

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Mod Mod Mod
i been cheated twice in my whole life am scared to date again. i really like this guy and the guy likes me to. but am scared that he might cheat on me what should i do?!




Hey girlie,

I've been there! I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but the great thing is that you CAN be happy in a relationship again. It's hard right now because guys are young and don't know exactly what they want - that's not an excuse because it's never right to cheat, but they aren't great at "settling down" right now. So sometimes it helps to be on your own for a while. Be single, focus on things that make you happy, and try not to force a crush/relationship to happen. When you feel drawn to someone and think it could be great to get to know him, go for it. Honestly, the worst thing would be to put up so many walls that you never get close to someone again. That's not gonna solve anything and will only make you unhappy - you gotta get back in there and try again! And try to remember that those two guys who cheated on you are NOT the norm. They're lousy guys who weren't good for you and didn't respect you like you deserve. But there are wonderful guys out there who will love you for who you are, will never want to hurt you, and won't ever cheat. It also might help to be straight with them - tell them you've been cheated on and it really hurt, but you want to get to know him better and don't want to let that hold you back. Then be super direct - tell him if he ever gets the urge to cheat, be open about it and break up. The worst part of cheating is the "behind the back" stuff. If you start with an honest relationship and ask your BF to be open about everything, that's setting a great tone for the rest of the relationship <3
Lauren C.

by enstana on 8/16/2012 9:47:11 PM

 
 

MOD! MOD! MOD!
ok, i need help.
this guy and i were together for a month and 4 weeks and we absolutely loved each other. the problem was that it was the end of school... and he moved to arizona and i moved to a different school. i know he misses me and i def miss him, but i know that long distance relationships don't work. i get to tlk to him thru friends but i miss SOO much.
what should i do????
plz help!!

Hey girl,

Long distance relationships can work, but it will definitely be difficult! If you miss him, you can still talk on the phone and email each other, but you should also try doing lots of fun stuff with your friends and fam to keep your mind off of him! Who knows, you might find a new cutie once the school year starts Smile

Meghan D.

by lovexx on 6/8/2012 8:08:40 PM

 
 

If you don't allow yourself to date, how will you ever allow yourself to get married? I'm sorry those two guys were jerks, but not all guys are like that. My guy is amazing! Get to know that guy and try to see if he is constantly checking out girls, or only focused on one. Even if that one girl isn't you, you'll know he can commit himself to a girl. If you are nice to him, he will most likely begin to like you. Good luck!
~bandnerd13

by bandnerd13 on 5/26/2012 9:17:09 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD My boyfriend and my best friend have been hanging out a lot. A little too much for my tastes. He told me he doesn't like her but today at break he spent it all with her while. Also she always is around us and she seems to fit right inbetween us. They call each other after school for a long time because when I text them they tell me they are calling each other. I don't know if I am over protective or if there is something going on?




Hey girlie,

This is tough, because you don't want to ruin either relationship by being jealous... and it's not a crime for a girl and a guy to be besties, but of course you're gonna be a little suspicious/jealous! It's normal Smile Try to trust your BF and your bestie the best you can. You've known them for a long time and you care about both of them, so there's no reason to jump to conclusions. It's ok to calmly talk about your concerns with them though - and be clear that if there IS something going on, you'd much rather know about it than have them go behind your back. Unfortunately you can't do much if they swear nothing is happening... but if you really don't trust your BF no matter what he says, you might want to take some time apart whether he's cheating or not. Trust is a major part of any relationship and, if it isn't there, he might not be right for you in the first place <3 
Lauren C.

by peaceluvsmile on 4/26/2012 11:45:43 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD! HELLPPP! Ok so this guys that i like has a lot of friends that are girls that are his friends. I mean A LOT. Some of them seem closer to him then I am. I feel kinda left out. Any advice?

 

Hey girl, just try and move in and be his good friend too! Talk to him more, flirt a little, just have fun. Don't let the fact that he has lots of friends that are girls get to you. 


lauren r.

by KitKatgurl44 on 4/25/2012 8:21:35 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
im 12 and me and my bf dont go to school together but we do hang out with friends and go to church together. we text but the conversations always go the same way, any ideas on how to change up the convo a little?



Hey babe,

Broaden the range of your conversations.  If he's your boyfriend, you should feel comfortable talkin about anything, from school to movies to sports to music, etc. Jordan S.

by quinn1218 on 4/23/2012 5:49:03 PM

 
 

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by Payton K on 4/23/2012 8:22:32 AM

 
 

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by kayla9 on 4/22/2012 6:28:51 PM

 
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