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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

My BF asked me inappro questions


 
I’ve had a BF for about two months. He has been asking me nasty questions. Like, he asked me to make out, so we did. Now he’s asking to see and touch things. Ewww! I can’t tell him I’m not into that. I’m thinking of dumping him.


Dear To Dump or Not to Dump,

You say you can’t but, yes, you can tell your boyfriend that you don’t like the pressure. You can say that you enjoy talking to him but not about sexual stuff. If you can’t bring yourself to speak your mind and he keeps making you feel uncomfortable, free yourself from this relationship—immediately. Don’t worry about being mean. Right now, he’s not worrying about how you’re feeling, is he? Trust me—you’d survive a breakup, and so would he. If you feel you are ready to be in a relationship, then you also need to be prepared to assert yourself in situations that make you uneasy.
 
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 4/25/2012 9:00:00 AM

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ew!

by pandasrock292 on 9/30/2012 11:46:02 AM

 
 



Modmodmodmod!!!!
I talk to Kate a minute ago so I would like to talk to her again.
So a few weeks ago I asked a questian similar to my 1st one and got basically the same answer(so its good advice) I tryed it and think he's Getting the idea. So what do I do now? Plus I was very sutle flirting and afew days later he was kinda doing it back. Does he like and how do I knw for sure without telling or asking him? How do I make him like me

 

hey! Kate's not online anymore, but maybe I can help. The truth is you can't know for sure if someone likes you without telling or asking. But you can get a pretty good idea just by reading the signals. Does he go out of his way to talk to you? does he seem like he wants to impress you? Does he ask about whether you have a bf? Does he make casual physical contact like patting you on the back sometimes? All of those are good signs that a guy might like you.You also can't make someone like you, and why would you want to? If you made someone like you that would mean they didn't have a choice.You can try your best to impress someone by acting the way you think they'd want you to act when you're around them, but it's way better to just be yourself. That way, if they don't like you who cares? why would you want to hang out with someone you can't be yourself around? and if they do like you, you'll know it's real and that you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not around them. good luck!  


Helen S.

by Katnissgirlhg on 8/13/2012 5:22:50 PM

 
 



ModModModModMod!!!!!!!!!!!
1. So I really like my BGF. Every nite I dream of us making out and stuff. (I am only 11) How do i hint I like him WITHOUT being obvious.
2. Is there anything I can do to make him like me or notice me more. Thx a bunch!!!
*~*Katnissgirlhg

 

Hey girl! If you're already friends, he's noticing you! Try flirting with him and complimenting him, it'll give him the hint! xoxo 


Kate G.

by Katnissgirlhg on 8/13/2012 4:54:39 PM

 
 



modmodmod!!!!!
I've liked this guy for 2 or 3 years. I thought he liked me when i was in 4th grade but im not sure. He'll be moving up to the highschool and I'll still be at the middle school(I WON'T SEE HIM FOR A YEAR). He lives in my neighborhood, but I'll be moving closer to my school in early july. I don't know what to do I might see him for a camp in 2 or 3 weeks. Help Please




Hey Girl,

That's a long time for a crush! I think you should make a move before you move. Are you good friends with the guy? If so, ask him to help ya pack or catch a movie together. It won't sound weird since you're already close. By hanging out alone you'll be able to see if he feels the same way as you. If you're not good friends with him, get a little friendlier. Ask him what his plans are for the summer. Say, "Hopefully I'll see you around the neighborhood before I move". It's an excuse to hang out! 

Marisa D.

by Becca 1202 on 5/29/2012 1:38:17 PM

 
 

Just talk to him about it. Relationships involve talking and honesty. Just tell him.

by HarryStyles<3 on 5/19/2012 3:03:27 PM

 
 

Eww! you should totally tell him that you are not ready for that!!!

by HarryStyles<3 on 5/19/2012 2:56:31 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMOD.
My boyfriend and I were uh, making out today for the first time and it was great. except he wouldn't stop shoving his tongue down my throat any time we kissed after that! I don't know what to do.....




Hey girlie,

Try taking the lead and mixing it up a little bit! It's ok if he wants to French kiss, but making out is about combining lots of different types of kisses - short pecks, longer kisses, subtle tongue kisses, etc. Maybe if you change the pace and show him how YOU like it, he'll follow along and won't be so aggressive Smile Your kisses will get better the more honest you are about it - and the more you practice with him!
Lauren C.

by ashie39 on 5/12/2012 9:54:58 PM

 
 

Ok so I am 12 and I had my first kiss last Tuesday and I cant tell my parents cause it is against there rules. I kiss my boyfriend everyday now. I don't know what to do cause I can't let my parents find out but I really want to kiss him again. HELP!

by Minimo99 on 5/5/2012 6:55:04 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD,
I was at my BGF's house the other day and no one else was home. (we've known eachother for like ten years) we've been alone a lot and it's never mattered so it wasn't like we had never been alone. we were up in his room doing homework together when he got up and said we should take a break. I said ok and then sat down on his bed with him. then the crazy thing happened. he suddenly just put his hands on my hips and started kissing me on the neck, lips and so on. I asked what he was doing and he didn't respond. then he took off his shirt and tried to do the same to me and I ran out of the room and outside and drove home. he's really nice and he's never ever done something like that. I haven't told anyone and I haven't seen him since. (it's only been two days) I don't want to get him in trouble because I'm sure he didn't know what he was doing. please help! I have't told anyone yet. HELP!




Hey girl,

He knew what he was doing, but you did the right thing in response. You didn't want things to go further than they did, so you clearly left the situation and didn't get pressured into doing anything you weren't ready to do. That's awesome! He might've thought he was sensing some signals that you liked him more than a friend, so he jumped right to acting on them. You should probably talk to him and let him know you're sorry you ran out like that, but you think you really should just be friends and that was way too much for you. Be honest with him. You don't owe him anything - he kinda forced this on you and you don't need to go along with it if you don't feel the same way. Just be straight with him and let him know you still want to be friends, but you have to talk about this kind of thing before springing it on someone. <3 This can be a good learning experience for him! And it doesn't have to be awkward - it was a misunderstanding that you can totally smooth over Smile
Lauren C.

by ilovequotes on 5/3/2012 9:04:45 PM

 
 

Pressuring is wrong both ways!

No one should ever be pressured into doing something. Guys who do that are just not worth our time, so stay away from them. It just so wrong in so many ways. And that goes both ways, I have talked with guys who we share a lot with and they have mentioned that we can pressure guys sexually to do things just like they can pressure us, and that is wrong too.

by luckykel on 5/1/2012 2:32:56 PM

 
 

Yeah! You should ask him What's Up? Just say" I'm not trying to be to forward or anything, But I was just wondering why you never texted me back.

by PoohBear:) on 5/1/2012 10:54:24 AM

 
 

I used to have a boyfriend just like that when I was in the ninth grade.Im in high school now.He said to make out with him so I did.He stuck his tongue down my throat like a snake.I slapped him but he just kept on and touches my boobs.I hat ehim so much!

by demski on 4/30/2012 6:33:49 PM

 
 

I think you should tell him your not intop this stuff because if you dont do what he wants he might do something worse. maybe it be goood to tell him how you feel and if he doesnt like it dumb him soooon

by PoohBear:) on 4/30/2012 11:06:06 AM

 
 



I really like this guy from out of town. We dont really know each other all the well though and he doesnt know I like him. I asked him for his number at a track meet friday. He smiled and said yeah sure! and gave it to me. I told him I'd text him later that night and he smiled and said okay. Then we had to leave. I texted him hey that night and then later sent oh sorry this is (my name). Buti dont think i told him my name so my friend told me to text him im the girl from the track meet(:, so i did. He never texted me back. My friend told me to text him off her phone to make sure he wasnt just ignoring me, but he never texted her back either. I'm going to see him tomorrow at another track meet! Should I joke around and ask him why he hasnt? If so what should I say? PLEASE HELP! I really like him!!

 

Hey girl! Yeah, you could definitely ask him what's up! Let him know you sent him a few messages and see what he says. Be bold and go for it!

 

xoxo

Taeler  


Taeler L.

by FootballG2518 on 4/29/2012 11:07:53 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
I really like my guy friend and today we were at a party. We were all sitting around, and he came over to sit next to me because he was sitting across the room. We sit next to each other in all our classes, and we always talk and joke around. but he does that with some of my friends too, just not as much. He talks to all my friends, too, though. I don't know if he likes me or not, but all my friends think he does.




Hey girlie,

It's tough for us to say "yes he likes you" or "no he doesn't like you" because we don't know him, but he clearly likes your company! Take advantage of that and get to know him even better. Joke around, flirt, tease him, and basically drop hints that you're crushing on him. See how he responds and, over time, you'll get a better idea of how he feels Smile 
Lauren C.

by dancedancedancee on 4/28/2012 11:08:12 PM

 
 

I wouldn't feel safe around a guy like that. Boyfriend or not, I would avoid him!

by Gabriella123 on 4/28/2012 2:36:31 PM

 
 

MOD MOD
My cousins gf is very pretty to him and they never talk at school because everyone finds it weird because he was the first guy to date her. Should he break up with her?

Hey girl,

It's up to them whether they break up, but if they get along it doesn't matter what everyone else at school thinks! If they are both happy with the relationship, then they should stay together!

Meghan D.

by misstomboy1 on 4/27/2012 10:27:45 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
My cousin was talking to my bf when I wasn't there so my cousin asked if he had a gf and he said I'm over that stuff. I really like him I don't know what to do. I think he said that cuz people make fun of me and him if they knew so he probably told that to my cousin. What should I do?

Hey girl,

It sounds like you and your bf need to sit down and talk about this ... good relationships are based on honesty! If he's not proud to be with you, that doesn't sound like a good relationship basis! Let him know that you really like him, but that you want everyone else to know how much you like each other, too!

Meghan D.

by misstomboy1 on 4/27/2012 10:21:00 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD! This guy I like pretty much cheated on his girlfriend with me (not in a sexual way, but we did cuddle, hold hands, etc.). I feel like "the other girl". He assured me that his feelings for me are real and that if something happens with his girlfriend, then he'd ask me out. Is he being shady? I feel like a second choice...

 

hey! Yeah he's being a little shady. He's keeping you on the hook in case things don't work out with his girlfriend. If his feelings for you are real, he would have broken up with his girlfriend before holding hands etc. with you. don't wait around for this guy, I think you can do better ;) 


Helen S.

by ILoveBigTimeRush1 on 4/27/2012 5:31:12 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!
I'm a freshman in high school. I made a really huge mistake involving my boyfriend. Nothing happened but we got caught. Another mom knows now, and I'm worried that soon everyone will find out. How do I deal with rumors and people who confront me about it? I really really regret what happened. I'm so afraid this is going to change how people see me until I graduate. Help!

 

Hey chica!

With so many young people making mistakes they regret, unfortunately, you probably don't look as bad as you might think. If someone asks about it, you could explain how you feel about it now and regret it. A lot of times people are understanding; and don't worry about your reputation until graduation, people usually see what you are by then rather than what you were. Smile


Krupali D.

by dancerchick96 on 4/27/2012 7:36:26 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I have a thing with my best friend, I did stuff to him and now he keeps asking to do stuff to me...but when i was little a girl did some stuff to me and now I'm really scared for someone to touch me down there again. i can't tell him because I've never told anyone. But he keeps pressuring and i might lose him because he thinks that i don't like him...what should i do??




Hey girl,

Starting to push him away now because you're scared will only give you an excuse to do this FOREVER to everyone who tries to get close to you. The truth is, you have to face what happened before - and you should face it right now. Instead of pushing it away and not dealing with it, you have to be honest about how it made you feel. Someone took advantage of you when you were young and innocent, and that is not ok. It IS ok to feel sad, confused, angry, scared... but no matter what, remember it was NOT your fault. That one bad experience can really make you feel overwhelmed - and you're not wrong or weird for feeling that way. It might also make you feel that sex/sexual things are bad, dirty, or wrong - but they're not, if you're in a healthy relationship and, most importantly, if you feel READY and mature enough for them to happen. I know it freaks you out because someone stole your trust (so that makes it hard for you to trust people now), but try talking to him about it. You trust him enough to think about doing stuff with him, right? You feel comfy with him and know he cares about you? So you should trust him to talk about something that's bothering you. (If you don't want to talk to him, you should open up to a counselor, clergy person, or another trusted adult.) And if you get all this out, you WILL feel better. In the future, remember never to push yourself to do something you aren't ready to do. You can absolutely overcome this and learn from it - you just need to be straightforward and face it so you can work through it <3
Lauren C.

by prettyingreen on 4/26/2012 8:59:19 PM

 
 

Thanks Kerra S., that makes me feel better. Sometimes we forget we all go through things and if you are older you have already dealt with some of those thoughts, so thank you for the advice.

by luckykel on 4/26/2012 2:49:05 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD
My boyfriend and I have been going out for a little over a year. He's only mentioned going further once, and at the time I didn't want to. He was perfectly okay with that, but now I think I WANT to. Should I tell him, or just wait for it to happen? Should I do it at all?




Hey Chica,

I think what's most important in a relationship is the ability to talk! You guys have been together for a while and he's already proven to be a good boyfriend by understanding that you weren't ready to take it to the next level before! Now, if you want to go further, talk to him! You guys should be able to share your thoughts and emotions and find out if you're ready or not! With that being said, there's no rush at all! If you're not ready, that's absolutely fine, too! This is your life and you need to think about what you want and how you feel before making decisions like that! Sleep over it, talk to your BFF or just write in your diary. Sometimes it helps to write down how you feel to see on paper what worries you! Hope this helps Smile
alicia m.

by lys96 on 4/26/2012 11:24:33 AM

 
 



MOD MOD,
I am totally against having guys talk that way and for some reason a lot of them do it. My bf is very respectful and knows when to say certain things and when not to but I have had guys talk about doing things and touching that were very inapro. And I know guys are talkers while we may think certain things we dont blurt it out like guys do.
So, I sometimes have thoughts about guys and my bf that may be like this article and I sometimes feel guilty about having them. Is that normal, and almost always I keep it private and to myself but I still get them. I realize a lot of it is related to hormones and puberty but is there a way I can not feel as guilty about those thoughts?

 

Just know that mostly everyone has those thoughts. While they may not ever admit it I guarantee everyone with hormones has had those exact thoughts at least once. Ive had them. All of my girl friends have as well. So what is there to feel guilty about? As long as you respect your body and yourself enough to not do anything youre not 10000000% comfortable with then you have nothing to be guilty about. Dont fret hon! xoxo kerra


Kerra S.

by luckykel on 4/25/2012 10:39:54 PM

 
 

just talk to him about it. or the next time he asks you say no or something. stick up 4 urself!

by Glitterheart16 on 4/25/2012 10:14:41 PM

 
 

That is kinda disgusting.....make sure you let him know yor opinion.

by Amileofroses on 4/25/2012 9:49:50 PM

 
 

I think the people saying "eww" are being immature. He's a teenage boy. He wants to experiment, which is completely normal. Tell him that you would like to wait for those type of activities. If he truly loves you, he'll accept your choices.

by jackieluvz on 4/25/2012 8:33:38 PM

 
 

Break up with him! If he's acting like that then you shouldn't have to tolerate that. If he asks you if he can touch you in an innapropriate place say " Hell no" and break up with him. If you guys are both comfortable with making out, more power to you. But anything else NO.

















































by Pistachio Queen on 4/25/2012 5:17:39 PM

 
 

Draw the line. Let him know that he can't pressure you.


I had this happen to me but the guy wasnt my bf just my friend how weird and wrong is that?

by butterflygirl14 on 4/25/2012 4:33:35 PM

 
 

Poor Girl!!! Don't let anyone treat you like that! ur a BMW! (Beautiful and most wonderful)

by sprinklz28 on 4/25/2012 4:29:45 PM

 
 

Poor Girl!!! Don't let anyone treat you like that! ur a BMW! (Beautiful and most wonderful)

by sprinklz28 on 4/25/2012 4:29:13 PM

 
 

A bit weird, but draw the line, let him know its not acceptable.

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by rainyseattlegirl on 4/25/2012 3:51:21 PM

 
 

If hes already saying stuff like that now 2 months into the relationship it'll probably get way worse later and he'll try to pressure you into stuff so yeahh not really worth it, is he?

by paxetcaritas101 on 4/25/2012 3:19:49 PM

 
 

Tell him to stop. But, i see his side too. He's a teenage boy. He's going through puberty too. You will get "those" feelings sometimes too.....

by angelicjade on 4/25/2012 2:30:58 PM

 
 

thats soo gross you should totally dump him.... i think ive figured out the logic of boys and sexual harrasment- boys think that girls like it. they just need to realize its totes innapro and disgusting!
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by ostar21 on 4/25/2012 1:36:46 PM

 
 

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SERIOUSLY!!! GET RID OF HIM!!!!!! thats so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! put your foot and say goodbye!!!!

by j4zm09 on 4/25/2012 1:12:44 PM

 
 

DUMP HIM!!!!! He's freakin' gross! The whole making out thing that's kinda normal but seeing and touching is waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much. You need to dump him immediately. I mean what will he ask to do next? You really should dump him and try to tell him not to ask girls those kind of things.

by Princess Keziyah on 4/25/2012 11:21:13 AM

 
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