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ADVICE | DEAR CAROL

My BFF is a liar, liar, pants on fire

 
 
One of my best friends lies all the time. No joke. She always makes up stories about her sister and brother (if she even has any). One time I called her house, and she pretended to be her sister. I knew it was her, and she finally ‘fessed up. Is it possible she’s mentally ill? How can I tell her to stop making up stories?

 

Dear Show’s Over, Sister,

She’s probably exercising her vivid imagination because she wishes she had more siblings and adventures. In person or in a note, tell her you like her best when she’s honest with you. Can’t be that direct? Tell her people who make stuff up are hard to trust, and that you like sincere people who tell the truth. Maybe she’ll get the hint. Since she is probably insecure, consider building her up by praising her on qualities you like in her. If she doesn’t change her ways, decide whether to accept her as is or hang out with more believable buds.
 
 

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 5/11/2012 12:00:00 PM

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MOD MOD MOD
This year my BFF left school and then came back. We hung out for like the first few days she was back but then she met a girl named Ava. We all tried to get along but than Ava started hating me, for no reason at all. Then my friend tried making me jealous by writing things on her hand like AA4EVA. We have gotten in fights before and her only defense is trying to get everyone to go against me. So now, two months later we are friends again. I am worried she will turn her back on me again and turn my friends against me. Should we still be friends?
I need help.




Hey girl!

There's no reason your friend should be treating you this way! I think you need to be totally honest with her and tell her that if she doesn't quit hating on you for no reason then you're not sure if you can stay friends with her. Ask her if there is a reason she occasionally treats you that way. If she has a reason, talk through it. If she promises not to turn her back on you again, give her one more shot. But if it happens again, it's probably best to end the friendship and move on to other people who won't hurt you. Good luck! 
Rachael A.

by HungerGamesForeva on 6/4/2012 12:57:37 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
My friend tells me stories and then if I ask her again another day she changes it, I'm pretty sure she's lying. But I don't know how to talk to her about it, I confronted her before and she could not believe that I thought she lied to me, then she tried to make it feel like it was my fault that I asked her about it. She sayed she was a good friend and would never do that, but I can't stand her changing her stories! For example she ALWAYS tells me that she can't hang out because she has to watch her little sister, which is fine but then the next day she will say that she went to the movies shopping ect. with other friends. What should I do??




Hey babe,

The fact that she desperately tried to turn it against you in the past is definitely a sign that she wasn't being entirely honest.

Let her know that you've noticed inconsistences in her stories and you want to make sure she's telling you everything so that you can do your best to help or understand.
Jordan S.

by Makeupandfashionlover123 on 5/21/2012 6:04:59 PM

 
 

MOD!! MOD!! MOD!!!!
I have a problem! I am a part of this Sunday school committee and for many circumstances I realize that I need to quit. The committee is really bogging me down in more ways than one. I mean, I'm running events for kids to give them knowledge when I myself realize that I don't even know half the things they're talking about. I don't want to be hypocritical so I decided I wanted to take a leave from the group so I could learn and then maybe come back in the future. What's the best way for me to quit? Should I do it in person or over email? I'm afraid if I do it in person she might force me to join again as she is quite manipulative. Thanks in advance!




Hey babe,

If it's not making you happy then there really isn't any reason to continue.  There's no way that she can manipulate you if you stand strong and know that you want to leave.  It really is most respectful to quit in person with a week or two weeks notice.  
Jordan S.

by frannyfrog on 5/19/2012 7:35:29 PM

 
 



Mod Mod Mod
There's this girl, and I really loathe her. We have mutual friends, and second period together, so she follows me and hangs out with my group of friends. But she's rude, narcissistic, and nobody likes her. Last year she was best friends with my current best friend, and she shattered her completely. Now my best friend hates her but is too nice to stand up to her. I'm willing to (more than willing to, actually). I've given her hints, but she's playing dumb. Should I just straight up tell her that I don't like her, or take a different approach?

 

Hey! If you act too harshly you'll regret it later, I speak from experience. You're annoyed by her, but that's not the end of the world. I suggest you just "kill her with kindness" as they say.  If she starts to try to do more things with your friend group, you shouldn't lead her on if you don't like her, but  if you only have to see her a few times during the day I say the best approach is to be friendly.


Helen S.

by BellaS19008 on 5/18/2012 8:20:38 PM

 
 



MOD!MOD!MOD!
There is this guy I REALLY like. but idk if he likes me back. How do I find out with out sounding or looking wierd? And my friend is always saying that I like this other guy when I don't at all like him. I had to lie to her get her to stop. I HATE to lie but that was the only way for her to stop but she still does. How do I make her stop???
PLEASE HELP!!!




Hey Gal!

Finding out if a guy likes you can be a little tricky. Be flirty with him. If he flirts back, he probably likes you, too. To move your relationship forward, try texting him. See where it goes from there. As for your friend, ask her why she keeps saying you like this guy. Make it clear her spreading rumors makes you uncomfortable and that you would like her to stop. Remind her she would definitely not want it done to herself. 

Marisa D.

by ceceandrocky20 on 5/18/2012 10:23:03 AM

 
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