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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

Can you take a relationship too slow?


 
My BF and I have been going out for a month, and we haven’t even held hands. I want to take it slow, but all my friends are already kissing their BFs. He and I talk a lot, but I don’t know if I should make the first move.


Dear Not Sure,

If you want to reach for his hand, go ahead. But since you’re not sure, why pressure yourself? It really is fine to relax instead of rush. And it’s smart not to let your friends set the pace for your romantic life. It’s also smart to take the time to get to know each other. Kisses mean more when you wait for them.
 
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 5/16/2012 11:00:00 AM

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16 Comments | Add Yours
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Me and my bf waited 4 months before hand holding, you can take things at your own pace.

by dragonsrox1000 on 1/9/2013 12:30:03 AM

 
 



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okay so this boy who just started randomly talking to me on facebook...we only ever talked on facebook or sometimes text but when summer started he asked me out and i didnt wanna be mean and say no so i said yea ... but after a day i told him i wasnt ready and just wanted to be friends and he was ok with it but after a month or so he asked me out again! and i said yea and i asked him if he would talk to me in school when summer is over and he said "yea why wouldnt i" so i feel guilty ... but i maybe kinda wanna give it a try hes my first bf i ever had so its all new to me... so would asking him to go somewhere simple a good idea to do to get to know eachother better? hes not a guy i would normally want to date.(this all happened over summer) also im 14 years old




Hey girl,

If you don't want to go out on the date, don't keep saying yes just because you feel sorry for him! You have to be honest to yourself - and if you really don't want to go, you also need to be honest with him. But if you want to take the chance and try something new, go for it! You don't have to be his GF just yet - just go on a casual date, relax, and get to know each other better. Try something fun where there are things to do, like mini golfing, bowling, or playing a game of basketball. You could end up having a lot of fun! And if you don't "click" in a romantic way, that's ok. At least you gave it a shot and kept an open mind! Smile
Lauren C.

by MyLifexx14 on 7/12/2012 5:58:29 PM

 
 


ohkay there's this guy who makes my heart skip a beat.I'm just not sure if he feels the same way.We've kissed more than 3 times.i made up a guy so that i could make him jealous and it worked for a while but a couple of days ago I told him I didn't want to talk to him and to stay away from me. but I didn't actually mean it i just wanted to see if he would care.later on the day he didn't talk to me or even look at me.I've been crying thinking if this time we are done for good?.If you get what i'm talking about please share your thoughts.I'd appreciate it. Helen S.

by hellokittygirly on 6/12/2012 6:59:25 PM

 
 



Modmodmodmodmodmodmodmodmod!!
I'm 12 and have a bf. his name is Connor we've hugged about twice and I get shy and timid around him.we talk about stuff and nonsense like that. My parents are super overly extremely unfairly strict so they don't know about him. I talk about him a lot though. I'd like to talk to him over summer break but he has no cell phone. I really like him. It's not puppy love. I want to know how to talk to him about more things. And not be shy Round him. He can be really quite though. My BFF also likes him too. Heeeeelp!




Hey girlie,

If you really like him and it's not puppy love, it'll be easy to push yourself a little and open up to him! He's already your BF, so calm down - you don't have to win him over because you're already together Smile So enjoy it! Try to hang out in groups so your parents don't get upset, call him on his house phone, email, friend each other on Facebook, see him at the pool, etc. Basically, get creative and hang out as much as you can! You'll get more relaxed around him after hanging out more - you'll figure out how to act around him and you'll realize he's a real person with lots of stuff in common with you Smile And then it'll be easy peasy!
Lauren C.

by Firefox101 on 6/7/2012 9:56:52 PM

 
 

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About a month ago, I met this guy whom I'll call Jackson. He's REALLY nice to me, I even fell for him for a little while! The reason I met him was because I was crushing on his friend, whom I'll call Peter. Peter goes to my school, but, Jackson doesn't. Jackson and I have talked on the phone and texted and stuff like that, and he even likes me, and he knows I used to lie him, too! He still likes me, even tough I DON'T feel the same way anymore. Last night, Jackson and I got into a fight over who knows what. It was pretty bad, and I basically told Jackson that I wanted him out of my life for good. But, Jackson said he fell in love with me and that he really truly dose love me! I don't know what to say OR do! We're not dating or ANYTHING, and he knows that I don't like him anymore, either! What should I do? I've been ignoring Jackson's phone calls and text messages since this morning, and, I was PLANNING on just ignoring him, but I don't think that;s going to work forever.

Hey girl,

Ouch, you've been ignoring him after he's been nice to you? Even if you don't like him, you can still be friends! Let him know that you just don't feel the same way, but that you're willing to put the fight behind you. That way, he can move on but you can still hang out and text / talk on the phone!

Meghan D.

by cheerrox1111 on 6/1/2012 10:15:14 PM

 
 



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One day i started texting this guy who off of our mutual friends phone. She gave him my number and we have been texting for a few weeks he seems very nice. I know that he is not a creepy stranger because my friend knows him. so now all three of us are planning on going to the movies to officially meet and hang out. the problem is i want to tell my mom that im hanging out with a guy but she has no idea that iv been texting him all this time. and im afraid that she will think that its weird. so i just need some advice on what to say to my mom to make it seem casual and okay




Hey babe,

Be casual about it and tell your mom the truth - that you met this guy through your friend and he seems cool. It's up to you how much info you give her - you could tell her that you just met through a friend and be done with it, or you can 'fess up on how you met, aka through texting. Sure, it might freak her out a little that you met through texting, but tell her she's welcome to drive you there so she can scope it out and make sure he's ok Smile
Lauren C.

by hotbeanskoolkat on 5/31/2012 11:29:05 PM

 
 



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I would like to know what do you need in a relationship in order to have a long healthy relationship?
please & thank you(:




Hey girlie,

This is actually a super personal thing that is different for each person! For me, the most important thing is trust. I also love to have adventures, to laugh, and to also spend some time being "homebodies" - just watching movies, cooking, and relaxing together. You have to be open with each other but also to make sure you don't take each other for granted. (So always be nice! And if you're in a bad mood, be honest about it - then watch what you say so you don't regret it later.) Basically, the best BF for me would be a best friend that I also love Smile
Lauren C.

by obeytheeillest on 5/31/2012 8:32:20 PM

 
 



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My boyfriend and I have really similar personalities. Which is mostly a good thing, except that neither one of us are good at making a decent conversation. I love talking to him, but we always get stuck not really talking about anything and it drives me crazy! What should we do?




Hey girl!




Sounds like you and your guy are a compatible couple, which is great! When you're hanging out just watching TV or not doing much of anything, that can make it hard to keep a conversation flowing. Try doing fun activities like mini golf or bowling. There's bound to be funny moments and silly competitiveness that will give you something to talk about. When you are just hanging out, share something about your day with him, whether it's a funny story, great news, or a situation where you could use his advice. Now go get talking!
Rachael A.

by chocolate_lover*13 on 5/23/2012 1:47:48 PM

 
 

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Omg I'm having an absolute crisis. There are two twin guys that I know in my grade. They both just told me that they each like me (over text) literally within an hour of each other. The first one is X and the other is Y. So X told me first and he said not to tell anyone. And now Y told me, and I honestly like them both. I'm so confused and someone's going to end up hurt. They both already knew that I liked them (they don't even know that each other like me and that I like the other). THEY ARE TWIN BROTHERS. Please help me!




Hey girlie,

You're going to have to make a decision for yourself.  You need to figure out which one you like more/which one you're happiest around/which one you'd enjoy spending time with the most.  Then, do your best to let the other one down honestly and kindly.  Just let him know that you've already had feelings for someone else and you hope it won't ruin the friendship.
Jordan S.

by fireworks1071 on 5/19/2012 5:06:58 PM

 
 

Hey misstomboy1, I think you should come clean and confess to your parents. Let them know you have a boyfriend an you didn't want to lie to them anymore. Since your bf's parents know, get them to call your parents and discuss your relationship. Maybe they can convince your mom and dad to let you date. Hope this helps! Xoxo



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I have a boyfriend and I really like him but I'm not allowed to date and didit behind my parents back.. My BF's parents knows. I'm only 9 but I know a lot and. I'm mature for my age. My family will freak!!!!! What should I do to tell them? Lynae P.

by misstomboy1 on 5/19/2012 3:02:21 PM

 
 

join my club Teen Bragging Queens and brag about what u r proud of.

by kpianoplayer on 5/17/2012 7:20:51 PM

 
 



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hiSmile So, I've liked this guy for a really long time. Yesterday, my friend told me she thought he liked me. Her reasoning was that he's "always looking at me" and when we left school he like basically saw me, and like quickly moved, and we bumped into each other. I don't agree that he likes me (though that'd be sick) but all my friends think it. I'm not gonna lie, he does look at me alot, and doesn't meet my eye. Like today, in lunch, I could see him at his table from the lunch line, and he'd look at me, away, and back again. We always banter and stuff, but lately, he hasn't spoken to me at all, and kind gets awkward around me. BUT, at our spring carnival, he was flirting with me. Basically, what I'm asking is; What do YOU think?




Hey girlie,

Flirting, acting awkward, and trying to sneak glances are all signs of a crush - but sometimes it's important not to read TOO much into them, so we don't get disappointed or get the wrong idea! Instead, try talking to him a little more. If you keep up that banter and flirting, you'll get to know him better, which means you'll also: 1) get to know how he expresses himself when he likes someone, 2) get to know what he likes in a girl (and if you = that), and 3) let him get to know YOU even better. It's a win-win-win Smile
Lauren C.

by smileitsjulia on 5/17/2012 4:45:11 PM

 
 

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Do you love One direction? Is your greatest ambition in life to marry each and everyone of them? Than you are a directioner and therefore you should join my brand new club, One directioners unite! where we shall discuss our love for the band ^^ Only one position left. See you there!

by kayla9 on 5/16/2012 11:23:16 PM

 
 



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Me and this guy talk a bunch in one of my classes let's call him Eric. Anyways, we don't have any other classes together and we only talk a bit outside of class. But he's really funny and I think he likes me just in the way he tries to get my attention. I think we could actually be good together because we can keep up a conversation and such but i'm not sure if we could 1 on 1?I just figured out that he's moving a long ways away this summer though, i think later in the summer, is the relationship worth a shot or am i just going for a relationship that is doomed to fail?i really like this guy but he's moving so i'm confused...thanksSmile

 

Well distance can work. But i suggest you keep talking and see where things go. Maybe try to get his number so you can talk to him even more. Good luck! xoxo kerra 


Kerra S.

by Emily241997 on 5/16/2012 10:07:06 PM

 
 

One of my best friends is dating this one guy and she really likes him. But a lot of people are telling me that he likes me instead of her! He's not cheating or anything but even she believes it! What should I do if he breaks up with her to come to me! And before I knew about this, I secretly liked him. I WILL NOT date him if he does leave her. I just want him to know that it's not right to date a girl when you don't really like her. What should I do???

by Malia23 on 5/16/2012 9:55:21 PM

 
 



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there is a formal dance for the eighth graders at my school. There is this boy i want to go with but idk how to askhim without sounding desperate or anything.
Thanks
Anna

 

Hey girl, if you're friends with him, casually bring it up in a conversation. See if he's going. If he says he is, ask him if he's going with anyone already. If he's not, then ask him if he wants to go with you! Just like that. Smile Go for it! 


lauren r.

by awtechnofish on 5/16/2012 6:41:48 PM

 
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