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GUYS | ASK BILL & DAVE

How to handle guys picking on your size


 
The guys at school are rude to me and my friend because we are not super skinny. They treat us like dirt, and it really hurts. How should I handle this?
 
Bill: I could say how the guys should get sensitivity training but, fact is, your school sounds like a microcosm of our society. The media run ads for high-calorie goodies, often featuring near-skeleton models. My advice? Mental blinders. Blinders are the flaps they used to put on racehorses’ eyes to keep them looking ahead so they don’t freak out at distractions in their peripheral vision. You can’t change these guys’ attitudes, but you can take their power away by focusing on positive things. These losers might treat you and your friends like dirt now, but they’ll end up eating your dust.
 
Dave: Right on—ignore them! The only reason for such hateful behavior is to get a reaction. Don’t even give them that satisfaction. Once they figure out you’re self-confident, it will suck the fun right out of their teasing.
 

BY BILL AND DAVE ON 5/21/2012 12:00:00 AM

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27 Comments | Add Yours
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That same thing happened to me! I was being teased for not being so skinny (the guy was calling me fat!). I ended up telling my parents, who told the school. My friend, who is half my size, said that I was the perfect size, which made me love her even more. <3

by Rey on 6/22/2012 8:23:20 PM

 
 

1. Think of your crush
2. Make a heart with your hands
3. Kiss your hand heart
4. Put it where the real heart is
5. Your crush will ask you out tomorrow
6. This only works if you post it on your favorite article

by chloe4137 on 6/20/2012 12:27:31 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
"I am in 4th grade and boys pick on my chest size. Sure, I'm bigger than other girls,but why the harassment? I am happy I wasn't called flatchested ,but what they called me is worse! Do the kids have awful parents or actually think about me in that way? By the way I already told teachers and my mom and the boys had to eat lunch with the principal for a week, had no recess for a week,detention, and a call home."




Hey Girl--

I'm sorry that they were so mean-- good for you for taking action!! Don't let their immaturity get to you. They probably feel self conscious that girls are going through puberty before them. 




best of luck!  
simone s.

by chloe4137 on 6/19/2012 4:41:10 PM

 
 

Mod mod mod mod!! " I'm in 4th grade and going through puberty. I am an early bloomer, so boys are reacting to it. I have gotten harassed about my chest size and I'm only a size 32A. I don't understand why the boys are being so creepy about it! I mean, my friend got harassed too, but she doesn't even wear a bra yet so why do they have to comment about it just because she is a girl and will have boobs eventually? Why do they say such horrible things?"




Hey Girl,

The word "harassed" is a red flag to me. NO ONE should be making you feel uncomfortable about your body. It's normal to get a few stares from boys, but if they are making comments you should speak to a parent or teacher about how to fix the situation.




best of luck! 

 
simone s.

by chloe4137 on 6/19/2012 4:18:26 PM

 
 

"I'm a little overweight and I am in 4th grade. I used to cry about it a lot and then i realized something. I am not ugly. I am not super fat. I am not stupid. There is a lot of points there so I think everyone should feel good about themselves. 4th grade is to young for me to get an eating disorder!" Jess D.

by chloe4137 on 6/19/2012 4:12:59 PM

 
 



MOD.
I have barely eaten this week. Like, today, I had a few blueberries for breakfast, i've had a couple strawberries, had a bite of a popsicle,-threw it away-a bite of a fudge bar-threw it away- and one slice of pizza. That's all i will eat for the day.
The thing is, i'm a good 10 pounds overweight, and nothing works. I still run over a mile every 2nd day, but nothing is working.
WHY AM I SO FAT?!




Hey girlie,

By starving yourself and eating sugary, greasy foods (even if you don't eat a lot of each of them), you're not doing ANYTHING to help your body! Starving yourself doesn't give your metabolism a chance to start up each day, and a healthy metabolism is the key to burning those calories/fat off. Start your day with a full balanced breakfast and commit to eating full balanced meals throughout the day. That means fruits, veggies, lean proteins (meats), a little bit of healthy whole grain. And give yourself ONE treat each day so you don't feel like you're depriving yourself. But you gotta stop eating so little throughout the day - it's not healthy and you won't see the results you want to see. I know it sounds weird - that you actually have to eat in order to lose weight. But it's true!
Lauren C.

by Danerka on 6/14/2012 8:35:24 PM

 
 

Mod
Okay, this is gonna sound mean, but my friend really over weight. And she's really self-consious about it. When my other friends, who aren't over weight, complain about their size, she gets really upset. She's been trying to loose some pounds, but it doesn't work. But, she's doing it all wrong. She never exercises and "tries to eat better," but really, she's just sneeking junk food. But then she told me yesterday that she has been starving herself. I want to help her, but I don't know how. What should I do?




Hey Girl--

You sound like a great friend for caring about her. Talk to your other friends who maybe aren't as observant as you and tell them they should stop complaining about their size in front of her (or at all!!) Talk to your friend about why she's starving herself and try to get her to speak to an advisor who can recommend a healthy diet and workout plan instead.




best of luck---  
simone s.

by Graciegang on 6/14/2012 1:24:05 PM

 
 

MOD!!! MOD!!! MOD!!! MOD!!! Okay, what if you are super skinny (and short)? Because of that, I'm flat-chested. I'm also Asian so I'm a little bit smaller than everyone else! And that's why I get teased. I mean most of it's flirting, and it's not major, but it's my friends who won't lay off. I tell them I can't help my figure. And that all boobs are is fat (or genes) So the bigger they are, the bigger you are. Of course I joke when I say that.. But it is kinda true. Any advice?

Hey girl,

I wouldn't say that, because there are some super skinny and healthy girls who naturally have large chests! But don't listen to people picking on you, because it's immature and doesn't matter. So just focus on your awesome attributes and don't let it get to you!

Meghan D.

by jmfwjh13 on 6/1/2012 5:17:28 PM

 
 




mod mod mod mod
heySmile So, I've known this kid S since like 2nd grade (in 9th now) and his mom is like best friends with my mom and I'm like really close with his sister. Well, I like S. Everyone basically figured it out...except his sister. I always tell her I don't like anyone, and I feel bad lying to her all the time. My mom keeps teasing me about it, saying we're going to get married one day, and so does his mom and sister. I've liked him for like a year now. The problem? He's quarterback of the football team, extremely attractive, and popular. I'm a known Harry-Potter geek who is chubby, pimply, and socially awkward. He came over my house with his family for a bbq and completely ignored me. When he does talk to me, he's soo friendly. How can I figure out how he feels without making the situation more awk then it already is? Thank you so much<3

 

Hey girl!

This is a sticky situation! It's important not to spring your feelings on him at once, because that could intimidate him. Try gradually spending more time with him if that's possible. It's OK if his sister hangs out with you too. Slowly starting to spend more time together will allow you to try and tell if he has feelings for you. It's hard to know how his sister would handle the news that you're crushing on her brother. Save that info until you feel it's a good time. Good luck!

 
Rachael A.

by KyRAZY4bieberx3 on 5/30/2012 4:02:34 PM

 
 

A few years ago a girl in my grade was always picked on for being overweight and guys would call her chunks and chunky. She was very pretty just overweight and now that she has gotten in shape most of those people are eating their words because she is just gorgeous. Its nice to see that happen because she doesnt even give some of those guys the time of day.

by luckykel on 5/29/2012 2:57:56 PM

 
 

I appreciate this article, because i'm skinny and i know that sounds stupid that i'm complaining, but it still hurts when people comment on it and say things like "hey bones, you throw up yet?" because everyone assumes i'm anorexic or bulimic (i am not, nor have i EVER considered it). My mom gives me the same advice, but they still do it!!

by lcoleman6 on 5/28/2012 6:53:15 PM

 
 

Hey girlies!! Are the mods not answering your questions fast enough? or do ou just want a second opinion?
ask me! i'm the advice queen to go toSmile i'll help you with everything and anything! NO question/problem is too weird!
i would love to help youSmile just comment on my advice queen page!


-xoxoxo

AlySmile

by Alykat18 on 5/28/2012 4:14:08 PM

 
 

I never get the guy unless he turns out to be a creepy or super clingy. Right now I like my BGF and a guy two grades ahead of me who's not gonna be here next year and has only ever said "I know right", "The score is 9-2 us", and "Yeah". Go me, haha Smile Tong

by kenzi143 on 5/27/2012 8:12:51 PM

 
 

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Thanks y'all

by gleek18 on 5/27/2012 12:49:48 PM

 
 



Mod*
Is there any q&a things on here about what to do when you don't like a guy and he is falling hard for you? I could totally use some advice on that right now!




Hey babe,

You bet there are! Check these out - I think they'll really help Smile

http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/01/10/let-him-down-easy.aspx?cp=all

http://www.girlslife.com/post/2012/03/20/How-to-turn-down-your-BGF-without-wrecking-your-friendship.aspx?cp=all 
Lauren C.

by Reutmkel on 5/27/2012 12:01:23 AM

 
 

So this kid just moved to my school around Christmas and he also ran track this spring. He is really sweet and very nice to me and I really liked him--but only as a friend. About a month ago, his friend kept telling me that he liked me a lot and I kinda started crushing on him for a while. Then track started and he was around me all the time and got very annoying and I barely like him as friend now, but I still think he is very nice. He asked me out the other night and even tho I felt really bad about hurting him, I said no since I don't like him like that. Now He still follows me around at track meets and is still annoying but I don't know how to make him stop! I have walked away from him several times when he walked up to me, but I feel so bad about hurting him. Oh and I find it very awkward when he is around me and I hunk he does too but he still follows me. What should I tell him that won't hurt his feelings really badly?? Thanks!

by Reutmkel on 5/26/2012 11:59:24 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
So I was texting this guy from school and he asked me what I was doing...I said practicing my talent show dance. He replied with "last year people made fun of you for dancing" I dance 8 hours a week and I know I'm a good dancer and I know people made fun of me LAST YEAR. I
was really hurt from what he said and got really mad at him. I feel a little bad because he was thinking of asking me to the end of school dance but I mean I don't really like him bringing that up when he knew I knew about it. It seemed like he didn't want me to dance and I feel really bad about myself now....what do I do?!?!?

by DanceLover1027 on 5/25/2012 10:35:26 PM

 
 

Can I just say that GL is one of the most helpful and inspiring websites ever!!!! I love how this site helps girls feel more confident...Bill and Dave keep up the good work! I experience this stuff at my school sometimes and it does hurt but the funny thing is even though I am not the most popular girl I have a lot of guy friends who are nice and even though I am not very popular they are!! It's nice to have nice to have them around. As for guys in the letter... they are not worth it and you are so much better than them! They will be the ones with no life when they grow up and you will be sucsessful! So dont let them get the best of you!!!!!

by starkidpotterfan on 5/22/2012 6:23:33 PM

 
 

Well can you Mods answer my question that I put in yesterday?

by TeamAlice33 on 5/22/2012 3:46:34 PM

 
 



How come MOD never answers my questions?

 

Hey Girly!

Sorry about that! We get tons and tons of comments, so answering all of them is hard. We'll keep an eye out for you in the future!

 



Marisa D.

by TeamAlice33 on 5/22/2012 1:34:51 PM

 
 

Anyone else notice that Dave always agrees to what Bill says? LOL Smile

by Kikikim8 on 5/21/2012 8:28:55 PM

 
 

I think that people that pick on people's sizes is just plain wrong. The boys at my school all pick on my semi-friend and even his girlfriend says he looks like a twig. He just laughs but I can tell he's hurt inside. What should I do about it?

by BlueMuffinXOXO on 5/21/2012 6:00:04 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I was texting this guy i just meet and he was really nice but he didn't really keep the conversation going but he put a lot of "Smile". My friend asked him if he liked me and he was like "only as a friend" I was OK with this so I texted him and now he was only answering with short one word answers like "Ok." or "Hah." and it really makes me mad to I just stopped texting him and decided if he wants to talk he knows I'm here is that the best decision? Any other advice?




Hey chica,

That's what I tend to do, wait for them to respond if they want to.  I'd stick to that, really.  It could be that your friend freaked him out or that he met somebody else too or that he just might be busy lately.
Jordan S.

by Taffy18 on 5/21/2012 5:55:11 PM

 
 

Hey, those guys will probably end up fat and bald anyway, p.s look at J.Lo and Beyonce they aren't built like sticks, but they are healthy and fit I bet you're too.

by arg5890 on 5/21/2012 5:48:38 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
So this guy, let’s call him Jake, asked me to the school formal, but I had to say since I was asked earlier by a guy and said no to him (I’m really nice and I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings). I have a crush on him and wish I could have said yes, but I remembered something. He told me a few weeks ago he had a girlfriend in a different state who looked like me. If so, why did he ask me?




Hey girl!

It sounds like he might have a crush on you! Some guys can't help but flirt with girls they find cute even if they already have a girlfriend. You did the right thing by saying no to him - you don't want to hurt his girlfriend by allowing him to cheat on her with you, and you wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't loyal.
Kelly G.

by emmyie11 on 5/21/2012 3:32:07 PM

 
 



MOD!!!
My bf is going TOO fast! He tells me to tell him if I feel uncomfortable (he keeps stoking my legs, my upper legs.) Is there anyway I can kind of set some boundaries so he will not go past them? He also sent me a text last night: If that's what I get with shorts, I can't wait for the swimsuit ;). I really do like him, but it is going too fast (we have been going out less than a week.) I know he is going through a tough time (his mom was just diagnosed with cancer and I know he is worried about it.) I also want to be able to talk freely with him, but I do not know any ideas about what to talk about. Help! (Thanks!)




Hey Chica!

Of course there is a way to set boundaries! You definitely want to do this if he is moving too fast. Make it clear what you are and aren't comfortable with. Say "I want to get to know you better before we move further". He should respect your decision. If he doesn't, then he isn't worth it. I'm so sorry about his mom and I hope she gets better. He may not be open enough to talk about it, but make sure you are supportive if he does. He's trusting you with a lot of feelings.


 
Marisa D.

by Bridgge2010 on 5/21/2012 11:44:20 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD i am torn between liking two crushes. One of them is super cute and nice, and he makes me jump up and down and cheer inside. The other one makes me feel really comfortable and relaxed, and he's also super nice, but the thought of liking him makes me sick. Which one is more worth my time?




Hey Chica!

Who says you have to choose? It's perfectly fine to like two boys at the same time (as long as you're not leading both of them on). There isn't one that is more or less worth your time. Get to know them both a little better and that might help you decide who you would rather have a relationship with. 


 
Marisa D.

by PuppyCT on 5/21/2012 10:47:56 AM

 
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