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ADVICE | DEAR CAROL

My BFF has super low self-esteem--and it's driving me nuts

 

 

My best friend and I are very close, but she has such low self-esteem. She’s always saying things like “I’m dumb,” or, “I’m so ugly.” Then she says I’m so “pretty or smart or lucky,” and that I have the “coolest clothes.” It annoys me because she’s a great person! I think she insults herself just so I’ll give her compliments. Her parents are divorced, and she always fights with her mom. How can I help?

 

 

Dear Worried,

Your company and compliments, respect and affection are already helping. But you’re right, it’s a shame she spends so much energy putting herself down. You might even mention that the only thing you don’t like about her is that she’s constantly belittling herself.

 

It’s too bad she and her mom are at odds—parents don’t always do all they can to boost kids’ egos and help kids feel wanted and wonderful. Encourage your mom to invite your friend to dinner, and ask Mom to offer some encouragement of her own.

 

Finally, tell your friend that we all have little gnomes on our shoulders—one is kind, one nasty. My nice gnome whispers that I’m positively brilliant. My nasty one sneers that I’m a moron. So I tune out the criticism, and turn up the volume on the praise. We should all try to be the best we can be, but it’s then OK to go ahead and listen to the gnome saying, “Way to go!” That’s my secret to self-confidence. Pass it on.
 
 

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.


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BY CAROL WESTON ON 6/24/2012 12:00:00 AM

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I mean i cant help it but it doesnt make me upset everyday 24/7 its just when i see pretty girls on youtube and on ads

by kelly268 on 7/3/2012 7:15:54 PM

 
 

Im actually the same way as her bff. But my self esteem isnt as low as hers.

by kelly268 on 7/3/2012 6:53:22 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!
I have a problem! I'm really insecure about my nose...its that one imperfection that makes me tick! I'm only 13 and i really want a nose job, but there is nooo way my parents will let me get one! Is there any way i can make my nose skinnier? special makeup? anything? PLEASE HELP! thanks xoxo Smile

 

Hey girl! There are no ways to change your nose and make up won't make it look natural, so for now, focus on other parts of your face (eyes and lips especially) to highlight, and that will keep the attention away from your nose.  Also, remember everyone has features they hate and you may not notice other people's, so they probably aren't noticing yours! xoxo 


Kate G.

by KatieBieber on 7/3/2012 12:47:14 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD!
Ever since April, I've been afraid of my dad, he always says that he's going to pack up his stuff and leave me and my twin sister. And once he even tried to hit her! One night, me and my sister were outside and we were walking our puppy and my dad said to my sis "if you let go of that leash, i will beat your ass!" i cried and cried for so long. I want to tell him I'm afraid of him and I want to live with my mom and take my dogs with me, i'm so afraid of him! What should I do? Frown Frown

 

Hey chica, I'm so sorry about your fear of your dad.  We want the best for you, so please speak to a trusted adult (your mom, a neighbor, a grandparent, aunt, or uncle) about what he says.  One of those people can help you.  If you can't get help there, http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx can help you.  xoxo  


Kate G.

by dancingirl1613 on 7/2/2012 10:53:07 PM

 
 

Need advice on something? I answer any kind of question you have, from a new studying tactic, to friendship drama! Just come to my page and ask any questions!
sincerely,
Twilight*gurl Smile Smile Smile

by twilight*gurl on 7/2/2012 7:35:06 PM

 
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