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ADVICE | DEAR CAROL

My BFF has super low self-esteem--and it's driving me nuts

 

 

My best friend and I are very close, but she has such low self-esteem. She’s always saying things like “I’m dumb,” or, “I’m so ugly.” Then she says I’m so “pretty or smart or lucky,” and that I have the “coolest clothes.” It annoys me because she’s a great person! I think she insults herself just so I’ll give her compliments. Her parents are divorced, and she always fights with her mom. How can I help?

 

 

Dear Worried,

Your company and compliments, respect and affection are already helping. But you’re right, it’s a shame she spends so much energy putting herself down. You might even mention that the only thing you don’t like about her is that she’s constantly belittling herself.

 

It’s too bad she and her mom are at odds—parents don’t always do all they can to boost kids’ egos and help kids feel wanted and wonderful. Encourage your mom to invite your friend to dinner, and ask Mom to offer some encouragement of her own.

 

Finally, tell your friend that we all have little gnomes on our shoulders—one is kind, one nasty. My nice gnome whispers that I’m positively brilliant. My nasty one sneers that I’m a moron. So I tune out the criticism, and turn up the volume on the praise. We should all try to be the best we can be, but it’s then OK to go ahead and listen to the gnome saying, “Way to go!” That’s my secret to self-confidence. Pass it on.
 
 

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 6/24/2012 12:00:00 AM

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HAVE SOME SYMPATHY!!! GOD SHE CAN'T HELP IT!!!!

by Abbydabbers on 6/24/2012 8:34:58 PM

 
 

My friend is the exact same way!!! I love her to pieces but it drives me INSANE!!!!

by Foodiejr99 on 6/24/2012 9:57:18 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
How do I make a club?




Hey babe,

Check out our Clubs Frequently Asked Questions page, where you'll get all the deets on starting a club!

http://www.girlslife.com/page/rules-of-the-road-clubs.aspx 
Lauren C.

by LilyBS123 on 6/24/2012 9:50:39 AM

 
 



MOD
I have had my period for over a year now and haven't wore tampons yet. Now I now its totally optional, but this summer even in the past week has been tremendously active with swimming,kayaking,running,biking and hiking so pads aren't really cutting it. I have felt how soft tampons are but every time I look at the one I think of them being hard and I get scared. Any advice on how to get past that?




Hey girlie,

Instead of trying to "trick" yourself into thinking about tampons a certain way, think about all the stuff you're going to miss out on if you DON'T use them. All the swimming, all the hiking, all the biking and playing around - you'll feel uncomfortable (or will even need to skip out on the activity) if you're wearing those pads, right? So focus on the end goal! Check out this article, my fave on how to insert a tampon: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2009/06/23/007-Period-Advice.aspx And it could help to remember that MANY girls/women use tampons. I use them! And we all had to start somewhere too. It wasn't easy at first, but the more you use them, the easier it gets. Your bod will adjust to the feeling of having something "down there," and before long you won't even feel them Smile
Lauren C.

by timekeeper on 6/24/2012 3:58:04 AM

 
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