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GUYS | DATING 101 | SPLITSVILLE

My BF says he's gay. Should I believe him?


 
Last night my BF dumped me over Facebook. When I asked why he said it was because he is gay. If he's gay than why did he go out with me? Should I believe him?

 

Hey girl! It comes down to how he said it. If he was being really short with you and not being gentle with the news, you know he was probably just trying to cover up his embarrassment at dumping you so suddenly and in such a rude way. Guys use inappropriate terms sometimes to take attention away from their actions and put it on the bad words; that way, they’re less accountable for the mean stuff they just did.

 

But if he seemed shy and he wouldn’t talk to you after, or especially if he said that it was a secret, don’t explode at him. Sexual preferences are noticeable at a different age in everyone. He may have really liked you until he started feeling other things – and that’s totally fine! He might be nervous about being accepted, because many times LGBT teens are bullied and can get really stressed out just by interactions with others at school.

 

If you can’t tell, try to talk to him about it. Don’t fume for about a week (that way he’ll have calmed down, too), and then surprise him by being nice and asking what’s up. If he lets the conversation continue, bring up what he said. It’d be best to do this in person to make sure you’re able to gauge his reactions, but if you have to, over the phone or online is okay, too. Be sensitive, and don’t push a topic if you think it’ll make him too uncomfortable. Good luck, girl!
 
 

BY TESS MORAN ON 6/24/2012 12:00:00 AM

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13 Comments | Add Yours
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hey me and my bf have been going out for five and a half weeks already, i love his pesonality and how sweet he is, the problem is hes such a perv he's two years older than me and when we first stared dating he was a gentel men to me now he acts so pervered i know its wrong to like it, but i also with he would stop being such a perv it bugs me and i tell him but he dosent stop what should i do breakup with him or just deal with it.

by jackieheartlee on 12/11/2012 3:20:30 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD!!
Hi, I have been friends with my Best Guy Friend for 7 months. I started to like him after 3 months of being his friend. I told him about my feelings and he said they were mutual. But at the time he had a GF so i respected that. His GF broke up with him so we started to flirt a lot more than normal. After 3 days of flirting he went and found another GF! We've been talking on Facebook a lot over the Summer, and he told me he thinks he is really falling for me.. Hard! He has a nother girlfriend and I don't know what to do... We act like he doesn't have a GF, so we keep flirting. But then he tells me he loves me and his girlfriend... I'm just SO confused?!?!? Help PLEASE? I don't want to reck my great friendship with him.. But i also don't want to feel like just a back-up plan.




Hey girlie,

He's definitely getting to "have his cake and eat it too" as the saying goes - he gets attention/flirting from you, plus friendship from you, plus a whole separate girlfriend. Not that it's WRONG for him to do that, but he's pulling you around and taking you (and his GF) for granted. You should be confused! He basically can't decide what he wants so he's trying to have it all. You can do one of two things -

1) Keep on flirting like he doesn't have a GF, but don't expect anything to happen. Your expectations will have to be low, because he DOES have a GF. So he's off limits. (You'll also have to deal with feeling guilty, since you're flirting with someone else's BF. I know I wouldn't want someone to do that to my BF.) 

2) Tone it down and subtly suggest that he makes up his mind. Act like a friend. Don't be mean, but it's ok to be a little less warm than normal. Whatever you do, don't flirt. He'll notice the shift and I'm sure he'll ask you what's wrong. Then you can tell him that flirting with him and hearing he loves you WHILE he has a GF makes you uncomfy. You can tell him you like him and want to be friends right now, but make sure he knows he can't go around professing his love and flirting while he has another girl on the side <3 You deserve a guy's full attention, not just half!
Lauren C.

by Sutton! on 7/29/2012 8:59:31 PM

 
 

Hey, I am really confused! My ex (former BGF) Dylan asked me out at the beggining of the school year, and I turned around and was like "awkward!!", but then the school dismissel bell saved me from that weird convo. We didn't talk for 3 days and then we pretended it didn't happen. But the 2nd day of summer he asked me out over the phone. But it wasn't even him on the phone it was his my other BGF Noah. I said yes and we hung out for two days then he got his bff Walter to dump me! How do I react??

by mikayla.sleepy on 7/23/2012 9:30:14 PM

 
 

that would be hard. good luck!

by myfatsquirrel on 6/26/2012 9:39:43 AM

 
 

I know two girls online. They are lesbian. One is 29 and one is almost 16. The 16 year old always gets bullied bc of being lesbian but she's is soooo über super duber nice and the 29 year old says she's fat and ugly. I've never seen her but I'm always trying to get her to stop.
29 year old lives in Nevada
15 year old lives somewhere not in California

by Firefox101 on 6/26/2012 1:39:22 AM

 
 




MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I went to the movies with my friend her boyfriend and his friend... I have been texting this kid for a while but seeing him the first time was awkward I was sooooo nervous because I like him A LOT. When we were walking up the stairs to sit... I FELL! I was so embarrassed.. I was shaking and I felt like I blacked out because I barley remember it.. The boy is still talking
And we acted like it never happened. Ugh.
I wish I could redo it! What soo I do to stop thinking about it!?

 

Hey cutie!

Totally don't worry about it! Your boy is still chattin you up so you obviously didn't do anything that made him back off! Maybe he thought your embarrassing fall was cute! I totally get that you were embarrassed by falling, but try simply laughing it off next time. While you may be thinking about it for the next few weeks, those around you will most likely forget about it within a few hours...guaranteed!! 


Catherine C.

by princesschick1999 on 6/25/2012 1:45:50 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD
I'm in high school and I'm terrified of talking to cute guys. Help! What do I do?




Hey girl!

It's totally OK to be nervous about talking to cute guys. The best way to go about it is to talk to them in comfortable situations: in science class during a lab experiment, at lunch, or at your lockers. If you get the courage to do it just once, you'll gain the confidence to keep doing it.  
Rachael A.

by dramasistah23 on 6/25/2012 11:57:30 AM

 
 

Well honestly if he is then girlie you'll just have to respect it. I agree, you never know he could've really liked you and just started to have those feelings. Ask him to be friends. Smile

by Princess Keziyah on 6/24/2012 12:34:06 PM

 
 

one of my friends is bisexual and she is pretty popular and none of us care. she's just our friend

by soccerlover99 on 6/24/2012 12:15:51 PM

 
 

My friend is an asexual (not attracted to anyone) and I have a awesome friend who is a lesbian. I support them both. Sexuality doesn't define a person or determine what kind of person they are.
My advice to the girl is don't tell people that he's gay until he says you can. Just be there for for him,if he is gay. If he's not, it's okay to be mad at him. You may feel fustrated and maybe kinda confused, that's okay. You def shouldn't blame yourself.(I know people do that.) Good luck and best wishes to both you and him!

by scamp24 on 6/24/2012 10:53:13 AM

 
 



MODMODMOD
So my mom has a really close friend who has a son, whose like my cousin (were really good friends). So I showed my one friend a text message where he called me cute (but he wasn't saying it like he "liked" me, he was just saying it because it came up in the conversation) and my friend decided she wanted to set us up, but that wasn't what I wanted! So she made him think that he likes me and that I was flirting with him when I wasn't, and I had to tell him I didn't like him. He said maybe we could be "flirty friends" (people who are friends that flirt(?)) and I just want to be friends. But now our relationship as friends is going to be very awkward. It already is! What should I do?




Hey girlie,

Ugh, you're right babe. Things got complicated for sure, which can be awkward. The best thing to do is be honest with him - and you did, so good for you. You want to be friends - you don't want to complicate things by flirting all the time, you don't want to date, etc. Just because your bestie tried to set you guys up, doesn't mean you owe anyone anything if it doesn't feel right. So try to focus on dealing with your BGF just like you did before. Text, hang out, talk like you used to. If he tries to be overly flirty, calmly tell him to tone it down a little bit. But just ask yourself: how would I behave around him BEFORE all this happened? Try to be like that - and if you're relaxed, he'll take your cue and relax a little as well <3
Lauren C.

by spazyjazy99 on 6/24/2012 9:06:51 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
My sister is almost 15 and shes a lesbian.
I'm not Homophobic at all I'm perfectly okay with LGBT teens/people like i have the same respect for straight people as LGBT teens/people.
I'm just having such a hard time dealing with this and i don't know why. Sometimes she will call me a really mean name and ill respond by calling her a lesbian, i know this is wrong and mean and there's nothing wrong with being a lesbian but for some reason some switch in me just flips on where that's my go-to insult or something, why is this so hard for me to deal with and how can i stop it? I feel so mean and rude like if i'm gonna say stuff like that i shouldn't be part of my sisters life or something. I know this may be hard to answer but if you can answer thanks a bunch.

 

It's going to take some time to get used to it I suppose. First off I would stop using lesbian as a mean name. That's not going to help and its only going to hurt your relationship with your sister. Also maybe talking to your sister about being a lesbian would help you understand better. Good luck! xoxo kerra 


Kerra S.

by Glis awesome on 6/24/2012 12:50:20 AM

 
 

At least he told you, one of my friends found out that her bf was bisexual by accident. He didnt even tell her and she found out by seeing some of the sites he visited online for gay guys and became heartbroken over it.

She confronted him and he admitted to her that he liked both males and females. To this day I think she is still hurt by the whole thing and she even thought he was just saying that so he could break up with her but with him it was true.

by luckykel on 6/24/2012 12:30:14 AM

 
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