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ADVICE | FRIENDS

63 Comments | Add Yours

Friend fight 411: What to do when you're stuck in the middle

 

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  • My bestie isn't acting like a very good friend
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You and your two besties have been like the three musketeers since forever. But now, they’re having a huge fight, and you’re caught in between. Here’s how you can stay neutral like Switzerland and hopefully help ease some of the tension, too.

 

 

Your Lips Are Sealed

If one gal confides in you and says what’s bothering her about the other, do not go running to tell her current enemy what’s up. You might end up getting your facts mixed up and just feed the fire, or even worse, the first girl could get mad at you for going behind her back. The best thing to do is to lend a sympathetic ear, and encourage both of the girls to talk straight to each other about finding a solution.

 

Good Guys and Bad Guys

The most important thing you gotta get across to these chickies is that there is no right and wrong side to their argument. Make it clear that you’re not picking sides or pointing fingers about who started it. Even if you’ve got some opinions, keep them to yourself because the main goal is to end this catfight, pronto. If you get involved, it’s only gonna make it more confusing, so do your best to wait it out.

 

Agree to Disagree

If you can, encourage your babes to put their differences behind them for the good of your friendship. They don’t have to figure out exactly who started yelling first or which one of them did wrong; all they need is to move on. Sometimes it’s hard for the fighters to step back and see that their screaming matches are actually pretty pointless, so maybe as an outside observer, you can help them notice how silly their argument really is. This can be tricky because you don’t wanna offend the girls, so make it clear that you’re not trying to be critical of them, just their argument.

 

Personal Bubbles

When all else fails, just give your besties some space. If they insist on butting heads, then maybe you should hang out with your other friends for a few days. Hopefully, the girls will realize that it was more fun when the three of you were laughing and joking together, instead of yelling and dishing out the silent treatment. After some time to chill, they can make peace with each other and you guys can get back to your giggles and girl-talk.

 

Got some good recommendations on how to smooth your friends’ ruffled feathers? Blog about it, babes.

 

 

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BY CARRIE RUPPERT ON 7/5/2012 2:40:00 PM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, 411 on fighting with friends, growing apart

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63 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!
My BF is super sweet and thoughtful, but when it comes to planning dates and taking the initiative, that's where he lacks. It seems like I'm always the one who plans dates and calls/texts first. I know he cares about me a lot because he treats like a princess, always there for me, buys/makes me things, and respects me. So why won't HE call ME or asks ME to do something? Should I be worried? Would should I do? PLEASE, PLEASE HELP.




Hey girlie,

Try not to overanalyze this! He clearly cares about you and wants to make you happy, but maybe he doesn't realize you want him to take the lead planning dates - you're always the one that organizes them, after all! Try asking him to plan your next hangout. That way, he can show you the kinds of things he likes to do, food he likes to eat, places he likes to go, etc. Don't whine about it, but you can even be honest and tell him you'd love it if he asked you out sometimes too. That way, he totally understand where you're coming from and can work harder to make ya happy Smile
Lauren C.

report

by squizzcute on 7/5/2012 9:25:33 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I'm a tween who just started hitting puberty!I'm freaking out with pimples! Whats the best facial cleanser brand you recommend? I'm scared to try random things and then have a bad reaction to it!




Hey girlie,

I love Clean & Clear's Morning Burst Facial Cleanser! Clearasil and Jergens were always too harsh for my skin, but I have friends who love their face washes too. And then there's Noxema, Neutrogena, Proactiv (for really serious acne), Burts Bees and Kiehls. But you have to shop around and try a couple different cleansers before you find the one that works best with your skin type. Think about whether you have oily skin, dry skin, combination skin, sensitive skin, etc., then buy the product that is designed to work best for your skin type. 
Lauren C.

report

by Random_Rainbow5 on 7/5/2012 9:25:17 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!
Okay i've had my period for two years now. my last period started on may 31 and ended on June 6. By the normal length of my cycle I shouldv'e started yesterday, but didn't. I'm a swimmer so I have been wearing tampons every morning in case it starts. Should I be worried I haven't started? Should I just keep wearing tampons to be prepared? Thanks!




Hey girlie,

You shouldn't be worried that it hasn't started - especially if you're not sexually active. Even though you've had it for 2 years already, it's still COMPLETELY normal for it to be irregular sometimes! It's affected by lots of things, like changes in stress, sleep, and diet. So changes are it's just a little late Smile But try not to wear tampons while you're waiting for it - it's not good to wear them if you don't need them. If you're really worried about leaking and want to stay protected, use a pantyliner instead <3
Lauren C.

report

by quest6c on 7/5/2012 8:59:12 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD next year Im going to a new school and I really want to make a good impression and maybe even get a BF . fyi , Im usually the shy one in my group of friends so how can I meet new people . thnx so much =D




Hey girl,

The best way to reach your goal is to push yourself out of your comfort zone! It's easy to close yourself off, be nervous, and keep to yourself. But when you're at a new school and in the first couple days, it is TOTALLY acceptable to try sitting with new groups at the lunch tables, strike up a convo with the person at the locker next to yours, stop by club meetings to test them out, etc. You gotta take risks - and, even though it's scary at times, it'll really pay off Smile The more confident you act, the more confident you will feel. And the more people you talk to, the better chance you'll find that group of friends that really "clicks" for you - and the better chance you'll meet new guys in the process, who could turn into BF material Smile
Lauren C.

report

by auslly123 on 7/5/2012 8:47:52 PM

 
 

Whenever I want to help my friends stop a fight, I try to help them see the other's point of view without getting too involved.

report

by supersingershannon on 7/5/2012 7:47:40 PM

 
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