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ADVICE | FRIENDS

63 Comments | Add Yours

Friend fight 411: What to do when you're stuck in the middle

 

Check these out, too...

  • My bestie isn't acting like a very good friend
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You and your two besties have been like the three musketeers since forever. But now, they’re having a huge fight, and you’re caught in between. Here’s how you can stay neutral like Switzerland and hopefully help ease some of the tension, too.

 

 

Your Lips Are Sealed

If one gal confides in you and says what’s bothering her about the other, do not go running to tell her current enemy what’s up. You might end up getting your facts mixed up and just feed the fire, or even worse, the first girl could get mad at you for going behind her back. The best thing to do is to lend a sympathetic ear, and encourage both of the girls to talk straight to each other about finding a solution.

 

Good Guys and Bad Guys

The most important thing you gotta get across to these chickies is that there is no right and wrong side to their argument. Make it clear that you’re not picking sides or pointing fingers about who started it. Even if you’ve got some opinions, keep them to yourself because the main goal is to end this catfight, pronto. If you get involved, it’s only gonna make it more confusing, so do your best to wait it out.

 

Agree to Disagree

If you can, encourage your babes to put their differences behind them for the good of your friendship. They don’t have to figure out exactly who started yelling first or which one of them did wrong; all they need is to move on. Sometimes it’s hard for the fighters to step back and see that their screaming matches are actually pretty pointless, so maybe as an outside observer, you can help them notice how silly their argument really is. This can be tricky because you don’t wanna offend the girls, so make it clear that you’re not trying to be critical of them, just their argument.

 

Personal Bubbles

When all else fails, just give your besties some space. If they insist on butting heads, then maybe you should hang out with your other friends for a few days. Hopefully, the girls will realize that it was more fun when the three of you were laughing and joking together, instead of yelling and dishing out the silent treatment. After some time to chill, they can make peace with each other and you guys can get back to your giggles and girl-talk.

 

Got some good recommendations on how to smooth your friends’ ruffled feathers? Blog about it, babes.

 

 

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BY CARRIE RUPPERT ON 7/5/2012 2:40:00 PM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, 411 on fighting with friends, growing apart

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63 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD MOD MOD
I HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEM! My best guy friend is being bullied, and said in a video posted on facebook, that he was trying to hurt himself, and that he cries every night. I don't know what to do. I'm beginning to feel that just being there for him isn't enough. PLEASE HELP ME!! FOR MY FRIENDS SAKE! Cry

Hey girl,

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I can't imagine what he must be going through. Because we want the best for you and him, it's really important that you encourage him to speak with a trusted adult like a parent our guidance counselor about how he's feeling. You can also refer him to this link, which includes hotlines where he can talk to someone anonymously and toll free. http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx

Meghan D.

report

by pokemon_girl11 on 10/13/2012 11:53:53 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
Okay so this may seem kind of silly and I'm probably overreacting but basically i play volleyball in school and my team had a party (sort of like a team bonding) and we decorated t-shirts and stuff, and it was supposed to be today. well, i've been really busy lately and super stressed and i ended up reading the invitation wrong and coming an hour late. which was super embarassing and i felt awful for showing up so late. and for some reason it's 10 at night and it's still bothering me that i screwed up so bad. is there anything i can say when i see them on monday that might make this situation a little bit better/ less embarassing? pleeeeeeasse help Frown

Hey girl,

Everyone makes mistakes, so don't be so hard on yourself! Just apologize to the captains and then move on--at least you still made it to the party! Everyone will forget soon, and it won't be a big deal Smile Try not to focus on it too much and enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Meghan D.

report

by ohheyitsjennyy on 10/6/2012 10:21:56 PM

 
 


MOD MOD MOD
My BFF Fabi told me that the most popular girls in my grade were telling her, "Why do you hang out with Kaitlin? She's mean!" They were also telling Fabi a bunch of mean stuff I said in 5th grade.I've changed, and now it's 6th grade,and all that mean stuff I said were last year, and they should get over it. No one but Fabi believes that I've changed. How can I prove that I've changed?




Hannah H.

report

by CrazyGirl199 on 9/27/2012 5:00:49 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
omg this girl HATED me last year and i'v never seen her inerson but after a wile of not fighting we bacame friends and now she asked me to go to the mall tomarrow with people i don't even know and my ex BF! What do i do? should i go????

Hey girl,

If the two of you are friends and there will be a lot of people there, it might not be that awkward to see your ex, but if you really don't want to see him, you could tell your friend the truth and she'll understand. Maybe the two of you could hang out one on one later!

Meghan D.

report

by Jbug77 on 9/14/2012 7:49:54 PM

 
 


MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!
There is this girl, who just so happens to be my bff. But a lot of the time she just ignores me. Today me, her and a bunch of friends all went to get something to eat after school, and she says "Imagine our first highschool party! _____ will be doing this, ______ will do that ______will be like... ______ will be on the phone all night..." But she didn't mention me at all. It really hurts my feelings. I feel like she doesn't care about me. It seems like she doesn't want me around anymore. I've even tod her how I felt before, but it didn't do anything! Help, please! I want to save our friendship! (sorry this is so long)


 


Hannah H.

report

by pokemon_girl11 on 9/11/2012 4:43:01 PM

 
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