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ADVICE | FRIENDS

63 Comments | Add Yours

Friend fight 411: What to do when you're stuck in the middle

 

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You and your two besties have been like the three musketeers since forever. But now, they’re having a huge fight, and you’re caught in between. Here’s how you can stay neutral like Switzerland and hopefully help ease some of the tension, too.

 

 

Your Lips Are Sealed

If one gal confides in you and says what’s bothering her about the other, do not go running to tell her current enemy what’s up. You might end up getting your facts mixed up and just feed the fire, or even worse, the first girl could get mad at you for going behind her back. The best thing to do is to lend a sympathetic ear, and encourage both of the girls to talk straight to each other about finding a solution.

 

Good Guys and Bad Guys

The most important thing you gotta get across to these chickies is that there is no right and wrong side to their argument. Make it clear that you’re not picking sides or pointing fingers about who started it. Even if you’ve got some opinions, keep them to yourself because the main goal is to end this catfight, pronto. If you get involved, it’s only gonna make it more confusing, so do your best to wait it out.

 

Agree to Disagree

If you can, encourage your babes to put their differences behind them for the good of your friendship. They don’t have to figure out exactly who started yelling first or which one of them did wrong; all they need is to move on. Sometimes it’s hard for the fighters to step back and see that their screaming matches are actually pretty pointless, so maybe as an outside observer, you can help them notice how silly their argument really is. This can be tricky because you don’t wanna offend the girls, so make it clear that you’re not trying to be critical of them, just their argument.

 

Personal Bubbles

When all else fails, just give your besties some space. If they insist on butting heads, then maybe you should hang out with your other friends for a few days. Hopefully, the girls will realize that it was more fun when the three of you were laughing and joking together, instead of yelling and dishing out the silent treatment. After some time to chill, they can make peace with each other and you guys can get back to your giggles and girl-talk.

 

Got some good recommendations on how to smooth your friends’ ruffled feathers? Blog about it, babes.

 

 

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BY CARRIE RUPPERT ON 7/5/2012 2:40:00 PM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, 411 on fighting with friends, growing apart

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63 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD MOD MOD my bff never wants to do anthing or hang out with me and when she can she get really sick.what should I do?

 


Hey girlie,

You can't force someone to hang out - so if you keep trying and she doesn't seem into it, try not to waste your time. Focus on other friends, join a new club, hang out with the fam, or pick up a new hobby to take your mind off it. You want to be around friends who also want to be around you - if you gotta twist her arm to hang out, she isn't worth it! <3 


Lauren C.

report

by horseirl on 8/23/2012 9:46:24 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
about the question you just awnsered, i don't want to be h's friend because I don't like her one bit and neither does she.but she doesn't know that i know she doen't like me.but it doen't stop her from coming up to me and talking to me so what should i say.btw we aren't going to a new school

 

Hey chica! Even though you both don't want to be friends you should try and stay polite so that if you have to work together you can! But try and approach the issue! Maybe meet with a school counselor! If you two work out your issues and end your friendship on good terms you won't have to deal with awkward run ins! Hope this helps! xoxo

Carly S.

report

by cgirl109 on 8/21/2012 4:17:04 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
ok so school is satrting in a week and i have a question about an old friend.so like there's this girl h who was my friend.well when we were both in school still i thought that she thought we were friends.(i never liked her since last year after a big fight.)but my friend l said that h didn't like me either and now since school is starting and where in the same class what should i say to her when she comes up and talks to me?sorry if this is confusing,but can u please awnser this as best as u can. thanks!

 

 

Hey sweets! Going into a new school year is a fresh start; how about giving her one? Try going into the first day of school with an open mind! Think about what good friends you used to be and be open to being her friend again. Be nice and friendly to her on the first few days of school and see where it goes from there! Good luck! xoxo

Carly S.

report

by cgirl109 on 8/21/2012 4:03:02 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
My "best friend" doesn't feel like a friend to me anymore. We just don't have the same interests. She is into girly stuff and I'm more into rocker-ish stuff. We don't like the same music or clothes, and I feel like sometimes she isn't exactly respectful of the things I like. Our friendship has been on and off for the past year, and I want to end it for good. But how exactly do you let a friendship "fade"? Just stop talking or what? 0.o

 

Hey chicky! To let a friendship fade, try calling her less and spending more time with your other friends.  Don't stop talking altogether- that can seem mean, and you don't want that.  You can just make plans with other girls instead of your best friend.  Be warned: if she asks you what's up, you have to be honest and say you don't have much in common anymore and that might really hurt her feelings. xoxo 


Kate G.

report

by myclique on 8/21/2012 2:39:30 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD Okay my Friend C is really rude and stuck up to all of my friends and me!!!!I heard that she has been talking behind my back i really dont want to put up with her when school starts this next week what do i DO!!!!!
-Serra

 

Hey girl! It might be time to distance yourself from your friend, but do it carefully! You don't want to be mean.  Instead of icing her out, just slowly start cooling down your friendship.  At a certain point, you'll also need to confront her about talking behind your back.  If she asks why you aren't as friendly, tell her that she hurt your feelings.  She might be willig to change her atitude if she realizes her friends aren't going to put up with it anymore. xoxo  


Kate G.

report

by boycrusher191 on 8/20/2012 4:35:15 PM

 
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