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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

Just one kiss! Will that get it out of my system?


 
For over a month, I’ve been with a boy I like very much. I want to take it to the next level by giving him a simple kiss. That’s all I want to do—get that kiss out of my system. But I get so frustrated with myself because I can’t get the nerve to do it. What do you think I should do?

 

Dear Frustrated Kisser,

Give yourself a break. Hey, that kiss can wait—and waiting is smart. Relax, and enjoy your crush. When you’re ready and the time is right, the kiss will come on its own. Who knows? Maybe he is trying to find his courage, too, and appreciates not being rushed. The best kisses aren’t pre-planned.
 
SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com or like her Facebook page.
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 7/18/2012 12:00:00 AM

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37 Comments | Add Yours
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mod mod mod!!
a couple days ago this guy that ive been going to school with since preschool texted me and we started talking and then he asked for a pic of me so i txted one to him and then he said i ws gorgeous and beatiful...i said thnx of course and then the next day he said he loved me... i cn understand why he wud say tht to me i mean weve known eachother for so long but i just DO NOT like him like tht...i feel super bad and i dont know how to tell him how i feel. HELPPPPPP

 

Hey girlie! Explain to him (nicely) tat you like him as a friend, but nothing more.  If you're upfront about it, then you aren't being mean.  There's no reason to feel bad- you don't have to like every guy who likes you! xoxo 

 


Kate G.

by luvinlife12 on 8/20/2012 8:58:44 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!
Okay so I have these three friends one of them is my crush one of them is my bff and the other one of the is my bgf my crush asked out my bff and she obviously asked me first if I was okay with it and I said yes just so I wasnt the bad guy, a couple days ago I asked my bgf What he thought and he said he didnt like the idea either because he has a crush on my bff and its all really complicated but idk what to do and im scared if they get serious and I'll feel like this forever what should I do???
Thanks xx ...

 

Hey girly! Unfortunately, being the good friend meant that you got your feelings hurt.  It's a bummer because it sounds like your friend probably wouldn't have gone out with him if you said no, but now that you've let them, it's time to find a new dude.  It might be hard to see your friend with your crush, but trust me (I've been in a similar stich), eventually you'll be fine with the two of them being together! It just takes time, chica.  xoxo  


Kate G.

by ashie333 on 8/16/2012 12:15:25 PM

 
 

So, I have this "friend" and we have been talking for 2 years. but he is 3 years older than me. & everytime my mom finds out I talk to him I get grounded and in bad trouble. He has a girlfriend, but he told me if i was a year older he would be definitley date me. I mean i want to date him super bad, but i dont know what t do. I seriously think I am falling inlove with him. I tell him everything that has ever happened to me. He knows better than I know the back of my hand. So one day I went over to his house & I kissed him. We didnt do anything else. But if my mom ever found out I think I woul probably be killed. Please help me get over this dude.

by bmjluv on 7/29/2012 1:49:24 AM

 
 



mod mod me and my bf have been going out for less than a day yet he has already kissed me and said that he loved me multiple times. are we going to fast? it is all very confusing because he's my first bf and i know he has dated before




Hey girlie,

There's no "right pace" that you have to stick to when you're in a relationship. Are you comfortable with kissing him? Beyond just being nervous and feeling a little inexperienced (it's totally normal!), are you comfortable taking your relationship to that level? If yes, then you're going at the right pace for YOU. If you feel like you want to slow down, you should slow down. Just take it one step at a time and listen to your gut <3
Lauren C.

by oneoftheodd on 7/26/2012 5:46:54 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMODMOD!!!!!
Okay, so a couple days ago, I was texting this guy I've had a crush on since right before summer vacation told me he kind of liked me. I told him I liked him to, and he asked me if I wanted to have "a thing", and I said yes. Idk what exactly that means (I've never dated or even had a "thing" with anyone; I'm clueless), but we're not dating and it's REALLY casual.
I'm going to the fair on thursday and I want to ask him to meet me there. I want to go on the ferris wheel or something with him. Is that a bad idea since apparently we just have a casual "thing"?
Also, we were texting about how we both want to have our first kiss this summer....And I really want to kiss him...On top of the ferris wheel. Am I taking this extremely too far? HELP, ADVICE PLEASE! xoxo

 

Hey chicky! Slow down and take a breath.  A "thing" could be anything, and he could be having "things" with other girls.  Do you really want your first kiss to be under those circumstances?  Ask him to meet you at the fair- where you will be with your girls.  He can bring his guy friends and all of you can do the rides and games together.  Once you're there, ask if he wants to ride the ferris wheel with you.  Take it slowly from there.  It's only been a couple days, so don't rush into a first kiss.  You'll see each other again.  xoxo 


Kate G.

by spacemadness on 7/24/2012 4:01:17 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
So Ive been going put with this guy and we are both in middle school. We started going out in like June and have only seen each other once outside of school. Near the end of the school year last year I started getting really stressed out because I like to remain unnoticed but whenever I was with him and we were holding hands or whatever people would like laugh at me or his friends would joke with him, and i know that it's mostly like friendly nice teasing but I really hate it. I hate it so much that at the end of last year I had to stay home from school from being so scared. O didn't want anyone in my homeroom to know because they were very big talkers and I really didn't like it. I really like him, we've known each other since preschool and always been good friends , but I think I should break pnwith him. I just want to stay friends, (I know it sounds cheesy), but I don't want it to be like crazy and him to be like super mad. What to do????

 

hey! Just tell him that you liked it better when the two of you hanging out wasn't like a huge deal you know? I'm sure he'll understand that. if he gets mad at you for breaking up with him when it's totally not personall, that's his problem. you can do it! 


Helen S.

by awesomelyjax on 7/23/2012 7:44:59 PM

 
 

omg the same this is happening with me and i get mad with myself and punch a pillow or two cause i love my BF and he says he wants to kiss me but we never have time to see each other out side of school

by liamsgirl on 7/23/2012 2:37:18 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD! I really want to ask out my BGF or at least find a way to hang out with him without it being awkward or my dad freaking out. I really like him and we get asked if we're dating all the time. And every time he just smiles and laughs it off. How can I hang out with him with my dad not freaking out and will it not be awkward? Thanks

Hey girl,

Talking to him and talking to your dad are two separate situations, so make sure that dating is ok with your dad before you ask this guy out! You should go with your parents' rules because they want what's best for you! If your dad says it's okay, tell your friend that you have feelings for him and that you think the two of you would work well together. Since others are talking about it, you two can at least discuss how you feel about the situation!

Meghan D.

by smiling4ever14 on 7/20/2012 11:30:25 PM

 
 

MODMODMOD
So I've always wanted a pair of cowgirl boots, I'm in high school and I've finally got the chance to get a pair(they finally fit right!!) ...I love them, and I don't care a lot about what ppl think, but I'm a little nervous that ppl might make fun of me...I think I'll get them anyway, but I need some backup advice:p .l.should I live out my dream and finally get the boots?
- thanks!

Hey girl,

You're right, you should do what makes you happy and not worry what everyone thinks as long as you like them! Who knows -- you might start a trend!

Meghan D.

by Lili545 on 7/20/2012 11:29:00 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
My crush and I are just friends, but a few days ago, he texted me, and has been texting me everyday. It's not creepy or anything, it's actually pretty great! He uses my name often and seems to want to keep the conversation going (like asking questions when the conversation is dying). It's just odd that he suddenly texted me in the middle of the summer, when we haven't seen each other since school ended. Does he like me? ...Or is he just bored?

 

Hey girl,

Your crush may be lookin for a summer cutie. If he seems genuinely interested, go for it! He sounds like he is trying to get to know you and seems to really care about how you're doing, etc. In this case there's no harm in trying it out! If he seems to be interested in other girls, watch out. This may be a sign that he just wants a girl to be with and doesn't care who it is! 


Catherine C.

by emmababe77 on 7/20/2012 1:58:09 AM

 
 



MOD!!!!!
can you please relay a message for me to onedirectionbabe5 ? (her profile is locked) I saw her post on this article and i just wanted her to hear this:'
Hey Girl, I have no business getting into your business, but I just really want you to hear that we're all here for you, and although i cannot empathize, I do sympathize, and I hope the best for you. be strong, and just so you know, your parents might be suprised, but they'll stand by you the whole way. Good luck, I wish you all the best. <3
Thanks mod! <3

 

Hey girl,

Unfortunately, since her profile is blocked, we can't message her either! If she's part of a club and participates there a lot, try posting it there so she can see it. Some girls don't want to be contacted so we have to respect their privacy. Good luck! 


Catherine C.

by Nikichic on 7/20/2012 1:49:55 AM

 
 



MOD ! MOD ! MOD ! MOD ! MOD ! MOD !
so this is going to be pretty awkward, and embarresing. 1 or 2 months ago, I'm not gonna lie, I had sex with my boyfriend. Niether of us had a condom so we just took a chance, we were having fun at a party. So this month I missed my period, I'm tired, I'm getting cravings, mood swings, etc. I think I'm pregnant. I'm really scared to take a pregnancy test, and even more worried about telling my parents. I told my boyfriend, and he's the same way, but he said that he'll support me. What will the kids at school think? I should've never done it! Pleaseee help, I'm only about to turn 15!! Frown




Hey girlie,

I know this is a really stressful and tense situation, but try to calm down. First off, stress can delay your period, so you might not even be pregnant - but worrying about being pregnant could be holding it off! Take a deep breath and take this one day at a time. You said you're scared of taking the test or telling your parents, but denial won't make the problem go away. Get a test and find out for sure. Then you can move to the next step of telling your parents, seeing a doctor, etc. Check out this page for some helpful resources, if the test is positive: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/18/Teen-Pregnancy-Resources.aspx Hang in there, babe. I know you're upset but you can't go back and reverse what happened, so try to deal with it one step at a time and stay calm. Mistakes happen, but that doesn't mean you can't deal with this in a mature and healthy way. And either way (whether the test is positive or not), remember: ALWAYS USE PROTECTION. Always always always. It's so much better than taking such a big chance!
Lauren C.

by onedirectionbabe5 on 7/19/2012 8:40:42 PM

 
 



MOD!!
Hey so I have 2 questions
1. So there's this guy I've had a crush on scence like 5th grade, this year we started to talk more and I got his number. I've texted him various times over the summer ( only like 4 times, not like stalkerish) but the thing is he NEVER replies! I know he's testing other people cuse I have friends who text him a lot, but he never texts me back. I'm thinking I should forget him and move on but it's hard Frown what do I do?
2. So I'm asking the question 4 my bff.
There's this guy she likes and he really wanted to know the girls who like him. ( she's in the social loop so she would know) but she didn't want to tell him, not only cuse she liked him but also girl code and stuff. So he asked one of his older friends and she told him. But. Now she's afarid that she blew her chance. What should she do?
Thanks in advance




Hey girlie,

1. I know it's hard to move on, but it's way better to be honest about it so you don't waste your time trying to woo someone who isn't interested. You should feel good because you tried your best to get to know him better! Sometimes things don't work out, and that's ok. Try to meet new people, get involved in something new, and do what makes you happy right now. Giving up a crush can sometimes hurt like a breakup - you're losing something that was so important to you. But like I said, you deserve to move on so you can meet new guys and be happy!

2. I think it depends what exactly the issue is with the "girl code." Did her bestie date him? Does one of her friends like him too? What's the deal there, and would the person be really upset if she pursued him? Basically, she has to weigh her options - who is more important? If she can chat with her crew and make sure no one's feelings will be hurt, she should come clean to her crush and see where things go. But friendship pretty much comes first in situations like this <3
Lauren C.

by wxyz22 on 7/19/2012 8:21:39 PM

 
 



Mod mod mod?
My crush lives in Georgia and I in Indiana. I see him for prob the last time tomorrow. Should I tell him I like him? And if so how? He is a race car driver so when I'm working the races I see him. He is fourteen. So how do I tell him I like him




Hey girlie,

Do what you think feels right! If you tell him, remember it might be hard to stay in touch/date long distance. But if you'll always wonder what would've happened and you'll always regret NOT telling him, go for it. It's your personal choice - ya gotta go with your gut and your heart <3 
Lauren C.

by Angel07 on 7/19/2012 7:32:42 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
Ok so i have a LOT of questions
1. WHY ARE BOYS SO COMPLICATED TO READ!
2. (STORY TIME!!!) ok so I'm falling for one of my guys friends. Actually I've liked him for over a year but anyways he started liking someone new and wont tell me who which is weird since he usually always tells me who he likes. then he sent me some thing saying that when people send "heyy" they have 2 y's cuz they like you, idek, but from then on he's been sending me hi and hey with two i's and y's. and once i was like "I feel unlovedFrown" and he answers "don't worry!u r Smile!" then he always tells me how he feels like he can tell me anything and I'm the only person that listens. So we're kinda flirty with each other but not like OMG FLIRT ALERT, and i was just asking for someone else's point of view, do you think he may possibly like me?
3. I haven't had my 1st kiss and my friends alwys make a big deal about it. dou you know any nice ways of me telling them to LET ME LIVE MY OWN LIFE. Thanks!!










Hey girl! It kinda seems like this boy likes to play with your emotions, so maybe give him some space and try to meet other people!  As for the kiss, it will happen!  Just ignore your friends when they act that way and they'll stop. Good luck! xxoo 
Maggie P.

by floridagrl123 on 7/19/2012 1:51:31 AM

 
 

well i got a bf a couple of days ago and he never talks to me.like when we txt i allways start the convo.and when i told my friend we were going out she didnt approve because we went out before he hurt me bad.and my other friend said i shouldnt be suprised if he broke up with me.should i be woried?

by bking62 on 7/18/2012 9:52:41 PM

 
 

Ur lucky that ur even allowed to have a BF.

by LipGloss1212 on 7/18/2012 6:24:20 PM

 
 

great advice!

by j4zm09 on 7/18/2012 5:06:46 PM

 
 

1. Think of your crush
2. Make a heart with your hands
3. Then kiss your hands while still making the heart
4. Then put the heart where your real heart is
5. Tomorrow your crush will ask you out. This will only work if u post this to your favorite article

by echri12 on 7/18/2012 4:23:19 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMOD (this is really long..)
I met this guy at camp awhile ago-\-we were both counselors-and i really like him. But he's a couple years younger than me (i look his age though). I thought he liked me but now I'm not so sure. At camp we would talk all the time and he would sit close to me(our legs would be touching), he gave me his phone to fool around with, and he always tried to make me laugh and I'd sing w/ the kids on the bus and he'd watch me and smile. The day after camp we talked on fb and he sent a lot of smileys and started calling me a name that was a mash of ours(i wore both our name tags at the same time once). But then we worked together at a different camp and we still talked but not near as much and we've only talked on fb once since then and he did ask if i had a bf. I'm always the one starting the convo and idk what to do! I feel like I'm annoying him..I'm really confused.. please help!
I'm sorry it's soo long.. but thanks!




Hey babe, if he's responding when you start the convos, then he's probably not annoyed. Does he live far away? If so, guys have a tendency to follow "out of sight, out of mind" when it comes to their crushes. So it could be that he's not into having a long distance relationship. Or he may have met someone else after you went to that first camp together. You'll just have to keep trying to talk to him and see if you can figure out what's up. Good luck, girl! 
Carrie R.

by SuperSquirrel on 7/18/2012 3:59:41 PM

 
 




MODMODMODMOD (i'm the one who was talking about the texting issue and how this guy hasn't talked to me.)
well, now i know for a fact that he has his phone, becuase he texting my BFF!!!!!! i'm SOOOO confused!!!!! he said that he liked me, so what does he really mean, because now i dont think he does!




Hey girl, he doesn't sound like a really great guy if he told you that he liked you but has been ignoring you. You should start looking for someone who will be honest with you, unless he contacts you and apologizes. 
Carrie R.

by isas456 on 7/18/2012 3:46:18 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD
Ok so this guy that ive liked for over a year now, and i were texting last night and out of the blue he says oh and btw i broke it off with my gf. Anyway, in the past he knew that i liked him and he told my friends that he wanted to ask me out but then his ex gf asked him out. And I'm trying to figure out the meaning behind him telling me that he broke up with his girl friend.... Because I don't want to get my hopes up. Hes so nice to me, but I don't think he understands how much i do like him. And I don't think i can tell him how much i actually do like him.... PLEASE HELP!!!!!




Hey girl, make sure you're takin' things slow with this guy. Because the last thing you wanna be is a rebound. So don't say anything about liking him until you know just how over his gf he really is. If they've already gone out twice, you could be in danger of getting his attention and then losing it immediately. Which is not gonna be fun. So just be patient and see how things go. 
Carrie R.

by ell08 on 7/18/2012 3:35:23 PM

 
 



MOD MOD! I have kind of a weird problem sometimes when I wanna do something like go out with my bf I don't like asking him if he wants to go somewhere with me I feel like he wouldn't want to he asked me out to dinner Saturday night and I haven't seen him since but I Wanna see him again I asked him to do something Sunday and he was going to but we were gonna leave soon and the weather was bad j just feel like I wanna see him alot more than he asks to hang out with me is this weird or should I ask him if he wants to hang out? Thanks mod




Hey babe, I used to have the same problem. But don't worry - chances are, he'd love to see you, too. There's no harm in asking. If he starts giving you excuses why he can't, then you'll know to back off a bit. But as long as you're not bugging him to hang with you every day, you shouldn't feel bad about wanting to see him. 
Carrie R.

by Colorful1 on 7/18/2012 1:58:22 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMOD
I'll ask him...but Im scared of his response




You can do it, babe. Just remember - when you're asking, be polite and stay calm. You've gotta show him that you're mature and strong, so whining or crying isn't gonna help. If he says no after you've explained your reasons, ask him politely why not. If he starts getting annoyed, drop the subject for a while, and come up with a new plan based on his reasons why you can't go. Good luck! 
Carrie R.

by futurewriter16 on 7/18/2012 1:37:41 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMOD
My parents are divorced....




Oh, sorry to hear that, hun. Okay well is there another adult that is close to your dad who could support you? If not, it's fine. Just ask your dad if he'll take you one day. As a practice run. If you can show him you're up for the challenge, he'll probably change his mind. 
Carrie R.

by futurewriter16 on 7/18/2012 1:21:09 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMOD
Household chores are nothing compared to the work my dad does. Im bored everyday, so I need to ask him! Today my dad and them are putting down rocks. Rocks! I know I can do it....




Okay, chica. Can you talk to your mom about it and see if she'll back you up? Maybe she'll be easier to convince, and it always helps to have at least on 'rent in your corner. And when you ask your dad, be honest. Promise him that you don't wanna go just to fool around, but that you really wanna work because you're bored at home. You can also try asking your bgf for more details about what exactly they do. Maybe he can help you brainstorm lighter jobs that your dad would be willing to let you handle. 
Carrie R.

by futurewriter16 on 7/18/2012 1:07:21 PM

 
 

Like the page on Facebook: "Hold A Child's Hand"! It's for a really good cause. Every like is greatly appreciated! Smile

by thumperella14 on 7/18/2012 12:58:23 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMOD
My bgf and crush is helping my dad with work. I really want to go to work for a day with him and my dad, but my dad is a bricklayer. Its alot of physical work and im not sure if there is anything I can do. Im sure there is, but i dont know how to convince my dad. He lets me 12 yr old brother go, but not me. How can I convince my dad?




Well, babe, first try asking him outright if you can go and telling him that you're up for the challenge. If he doesn't believe you, you can pick up some extra chores around the house to show him that you don't mind working hard. But there is a chance your dad might be saying no just because he doesn't want you to go and distract your bgf from his work. And if that's the case, then you may just have to hang with your bgf another time.   
Carrie R.

by futurewriter16 on 7/18/2012 12:56:40 PM

 
 

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by snagmonkey on 7/18/2012 11:04:41 AM

 
 

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by WinnieGirlie on 7/18/2012 11:00:15 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I'm really falling for this boy and we text all the time...but there's one problem. He's going to a different school next year. Also we won't be able to see each other for the rest of the summer because of our conflicting schedules. I know he cares about me and everything, but I'm afraid of losing him. How can I, at least, keep him as a close friend even though we won't see each other as much?

 

Hey girl! Going to different schools doesn't have to mean the end of a friendship or relationship. If you want to KIT, then do it!  With cell phones, email, and IM, you'll be able to keep talking to each other.  Make sure you keep each other up to date on what's going on and try to see each other once in awhile.  The rest of the summer will be tough, but once school starts, make an effort to hang with him once a week (or more or less, depending on how often you want to see him).  Making your friendship something in the forefront of his mind will keep you from losing him.  Good luck! xoxo 


Kate G.

by bratz911 on 7/18/2012 10:58:01 AM

 
 

Hey Girlies,
Like to read? Join the club, T.R.I.O. Every month/two weeks there will be a choice of two books to read. And the best part is, we will read Y-O-U-R suggestions. So join now.

by dancethenightaway on 7/18/2012 10:02:52 AM

 
 



Mod mod mod!
Hey guys, just wanted to tell you that your quizzes are like incorrect. If I put all A's, it thinks it's all B's or something like that. Hope you get it fixed! Smile

 

Hey girl! Thanks for the heads up, we'll fix that ASAP.  xoxo 


Kate G.

by gigglez77 on 7/18/2012 8:46:17 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD i had my first kiss on may 5th with a guy that said he loved me and would never leave me. But three weeks later he did leave me. The worst part is im not allowed to date till im 18 and he said he would wait for me cuz i was worth it. But i broke all sorts of rules for him. Cuz he wanted to do things with me (i wanted to do them to but if he hant pushed me i wouldnt have) i wasnt supposed to kiss until i was 18 i was 13 ill be 14 in a few weeks. Now even though its over and done with i just regret it so much and cant get over the regret of it. I wish i hadnt done it. Ive always been seen as little miss perfect. I never break rules im the goodie goodie, the kill joy, a buzz kill. But now i feel like ive made such a huge mistake that everyone will think im an awful person?

 

Hey girl!  No one will think you are an awful person for kissing when you're 13.  Breaking one rule doesn't make you a bad person/  I'm sorry you regret the kiss, but since this guy is out of the picture, you can put it behind you.  A lot of times, guys will say what girls want to hear to try and convince them to do things.  Sounds like this guy was playin' you and you're better off without him.  xoxo   


Kate G.

by Niquole823 on 7/18/2012 8:16:10 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
okay so theres this guy and at the beginning of the summer he said he likes me. i said i liked himn back. then, he texted my and told me he wouldnt be able to talk to me for a while. i said okay, and i've texted him since, but we haven't talked since then. (its been about a month.) what do i do? (because i know the guy is supposed to make the first move, right)

 

Hey girlie!  This guy told you he's be out of contact, so he's probably just away on vacation or had his phone taken away or something.  Guys don't have to make the first move, but there's no point in you making a move until you guys are chatting again.  Wait it out, I'm sure he'll be back in communication eventually.  xoxo  


Kate G.

by isas456 on 7/18/2012 7:17:52 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
I have this friend who won't talk to her mom about anything when she has questions about periods and stuff like that. So she asks ME to ask MY MOM and then tell her. It is really annoying and I just want to say "Why can't you ask YOUR mom?" because now it is the only thing she wants to talk about. UGH! But when I say she should talk to her mom she whines and says "No!" and then I say "Well, why not?" and she is like "Cuz I don't want to" and I think "Well I don't want to ask my mom FOR you..." -_- What should I do? I am so tired of answering her questions that she refuses to ask her mom or cousin, etc.

 

Hey girlie!  Just stop asking.  It's that simple- once you stop giving her information, she'll need to find a new source.  If she whines and annoys you, just shrug it off and tell her you don't want to ask your mom.  She can't MAKE you.  If she really doesn't feel like she can ask her mom, tell her to talk to yours.  Explain the situation beforehand to your mom and she might be able to answer all of the questions your friend has. Good luck!  xoxo


Kate G.

by WinnieGirlie on 7/18/2012 6:20:33 AM

 
 

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by Dogscheerdance123 on 7/18/2012 12:02:42 AM

 
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