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GUYS | GET A BF | CRUSH MUCH?

Should I make a move on my BFF's ex?


 
My crush is always smiling at me and joking around with me. All my buds think he likes me, but I think he still likes his ex-GF (my BFF). Do you think he is falling for me or still hung on my bestie?

 

Hey girl! It’s totally possible that he’s crushing on you. Joking around with a crush is a guy’s #1 flirting tool. It probably feels great that he smiles at you and gives you attention, but you have to be careful since his ex is your BFF. It’s possible that he’s flirting with you to make her jealous if he still has feelings for her.

 

It will be super tough to know what his true feelings are without asking him. If you’re not comfortable asking him about his feelings (and I totally understand if you aren’t!) it would probably be best to try and move on. Think about the consequences if you two started dating. There’s a good chance you could lose your BFF. Is it worth it? Boys are so confusing and I would hate for you to fall for him, when it’s possible his flirting could turn out to be silly antics to get his ex back. You deserve better!
 
 

BY RACHAEL ALLEN ON 7/14/2012 12:00:00 AM

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16 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD!!MOD!!MOD!! So there's this guy I REALLYREALLYREALLY like!! But...I kinda freak when I'm around him. So the other day there was gonna be softball practice but then we didn't. So of course I started walking home... Well he drove up beside me on the road and asked me if i needed a ride home. Well I mean we hang out but i never know what to say to him!So I freaked and I ignored him and kept walking.I really like him and he was right there asking me for a ride but i didnt know what to say so i started crying. he was like ARE YOU OK!?!? well he drove off and now i pass him and sit by him and i cant even look at him!! HELP!!! what do i do!?!??




Hey girl,

You need confidence! You might not always have the right thing to say, but working on your confidence levels will make sure you don't shut down when he's talking to you. Check out these two articles for great confidence-boosting tips:

http://www.girlslife.com/post/2010/08/17/i-want-more-confidence.aspx

http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/11/15/10-10-second-confidence-boosters.aspx

Just remember to take each convo one step at a time, take a deep breath, and be yourself. If he asks you a question - like if you need a ride - answer him! Fake that confidence until you start to feel it for real. I promise it'll happen if you push yourself and open up. To get things back on track with him, try going up to him (challenging yourself!) and saying something like, "Sorry I acted so weird the other day! Just having a bad day, but thanks so much for offering to drive me home. Maybe another time?" Be bold and don't be afraid. He wouldn't have asked you if he didn't want to help you out/get to know you even better, so that's a great sign! <3
Lauren C.

by ArtsyRoxihunter on 8/30/2012 5:58:07 PM

 
 

mod mod mod mod
what is the best eye makeup for me? i have hazel eyes and really pale skin

Hey girl,

Our beauty channel has tons of great makeup tips for girls of all eye and skin colors! http://www.girlslife.com/category/beauty.aspx

Meghan D.

by gleek97 on 8/24/2012 10:36:03 PM

 
 

MOD.MOD.MOD.SO there is a guy (call him L).Well last year him and my ex-bff went out.She was jelous we always talked so she got on his FB and chated me like she was him and told me he liked me.I said I felt the same way but 3 days later because I couldnt decide if she would hate me or if I could deal with being unhappy.Well now they are broke up and I really like him and I think he likes me.he is super sweet like just the other day he said I look pretty in my profile picture on FB.Then a couple days later I couldnt sleep and I called him,hes always awake,and woke him up.I told him he could go back to sleep if he wanted but he said talking to me was the best part of his days.Then he was like you have to stop being so shy around me (hmm wonder why Im so shy. I REALLY like him. Alot)He calls me all these sweet things but never talks to me at school.I just dont know if its okay to date him after my exbff did or if he just wants something from me or what. But I really like him alottt.

Hey girl,

If you want to maintain your relationship with your friend, you need to talk to her before you do anything! She is probably really hurt over what happened, and if you apologize to her and say you don't want to choose between them, she might come around. You will have to decide whether you like him more than your friendship!

Meghan D.

by NatalieBrroo on 8/3/2012 10:42:35 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I've got a pretty big problem. There's a guys (I'll call him Jake) who I volunteer with at a summer camp. Jake has a girlfriend, who's also at the camp but they barely communicate. The thing is, when I was recently put into a place where I manage a group with him, he started flirting with me- big time. I've has an absolutely gigantic crush on him since before him and this chick were together, and we're closer anyways. His GF (call her Clare) and I happen to hang out because we're pretty close in age. She's gotten a little mad since me and Jake have started talking more, and she's noticed that he can't keep his eyes off of me(*cough*mychest*cough*). Sometimes I feel really bad flirting with him, standing near her, but he initiated it, and he's a total player anyways so she should've been aware this would happen. What can I do to fix this? I like him so much, and we're really, really close now, but to stop flirting with him would be to stop talking to him altogether. Help?




Hey girl,

I know you said in your second post that you don't want me to tell you to "just back off," but let me ask you something - does he still have his GF? It doesn't matter if she's being aggressive or if they barely hang out. He hasn't broken up with her, which means he isn't ready to move on from her. He's trying to have both - a flirty friendship with you and a relationship with her. I dunno about you, but I think you and his GF deserve a lot more than that. And honestly, you wouldn't want someone coming in and stealing him from you if you ever date him in the future, right? These things have to take their own course and you're sooo much better than to squeeze yourself in the middle of them, trying to sabotage the relationship. If he wants to flirt and date someone else, he has to break up with her first. That's how it works. It's totally fine to swap numbers and keep chatting as friends, but draw the line there - tell him that you really want to be friends but to be honest, you feel kinda uncomfy flirting with him while he still has a GF. If he's single, he's fair game - but tell him that, until then, you think you should just stay friendly. Make it clear that you deserve more than just half his attention - because you do! Just because "he initiated it" doesn't make it right to play along. <3
Lauren C.

by wickedisme on 8/3/2012 12:06:38 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
So i am super confused. Last week i went to the opposite side of the country for a family vacation with family members i only see every few years. I have a cousin who i had just met like 3 years ago and we haven't been together since. When i first saw him he was HOT. He actually flirted with me the whole week and long story short.. we made out a few times and kissed now and then. So, like i said, we hardly see eachother and how we're related is that his dad is my mom's half brother.. I don't find it totally weird what we did because we hardly see eachother but i have developed some really big feelings for him. He has the same for me. How should i feel about this situation. I'm really confused and stuff.. HELP

 

Hey! At the end of the day, no matter how much or how little you see them, family is family. What I mean by that is, you guys' actions don't just affect the two of you like in any other teen romance, they affect your parents and shared grandparent as well. how do you think they would feel that you guys had kissed? Probably uncomfortable, and it would hang in the air every time they spoke or saw eachother. As a one time thing, I would say just move on, but since you say you guys might actually have big feelings for each other I have to advise you to consciously try not to let it go any further. The fact that you live cross country and never see eachother isn't a great basis for a relationship either. I think that'll also make it easy for you to get over eachother too, so just try seeing other people if you can. Good luck! this really is a tough situation, but I know you can handle it. 


Helen S.

by lilgymnast11 on 7/16/2012 5:44:43 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
So I was on vacation this past week and JUST got back. I looked in my mail hoping to get the newest issue with Ariana Grande on the cover but instead I recieved the issue with LUcy Hale a SECOND time. Will I be getting the real issue for this month?

 



Helen S.

by Lannen98 on 7/16/2012 5:31:08 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD Ok well there's this guy he's sorta my best friends half brother and he always calls me cute he asked me out and I'm not sure if I should go out with him he's 12 and I'm 11 ps. Did I mention we live 2000 miles apart. Plzzzzzzzz heeeeellllllllppppppp




Hey chicky, that's a pretty long distance for a relationship. You should probably try checking out the guys that live a li'l closer to you. Also, you didn't say anything about liking him in particular, so if you don't have major feelings for him, it's probably best to say thanks, but no thanks. 
Carrie R.

by Nina20017 on 7/16/2012 2:26:28 AM

 
 

If you like him, tell your Bff that you do and explain why. That's what friends are for, to share your crushes with. But, since he's her ex, you may want to say you don't want to try anything without her okay. If she isn't cool with it, there are plenty of other crush worthy guys. If she gives you an okay, you should to read more into your crush. Does he talk to you more/only when you are near you Bff? Does he ask about her? Or does he talk to you in private and ask about your life? Hope things work out!

by N3rdyRand0mn3ss on 7/15/2012 9:20:39 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
How do you flirt with someone you feel is out of your league? And when you go out with a boy or have a new bf what do you guys do or talk about besides kiss and hug.

 

You talk to them about your interests! The things you have in common and the things you enjoy in life. The same thing applies to flirting. You can get any guy if you find things you have in common or passions to talk about. I talk to my boyfriend about comic books and he asks me about my design classes. That kind of conversation will help you grow closer. Hope this helps! xoxo kerra 


Kerra S.

by andsothelionfellinlovewiththelamb on 7/14/2012 9:10:10 PM

 
 

Move on...
Me & my BFF have one rule in our friendship - we won't date each other's exes or crushes that were serious...

by Acutiebookworm on 7/14/2012 7:53:45 PM

 
 

Do you need advice? Well, I answer questions about anything and everything you can think of! I can help you with problems about:
Boys
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Or anything else you can think of! I also answer questions about singing and acting. Any problem you have, I can help with. Just click on my profile and leave me your question. I'm on everyday, so you can be sure to get a quick response. I give helpful info and answers you can trust. If you've got a problem, I'm your girl!

by supersingershannon on 7/14/2012 7:13:31 PM

 
 

Hey lalalauermeier, first kudos for trying to be positive. It can be hard to rekindle a relationship with someone you haven’t seen in so long. While you may not want to get to know him, I do think you should be respectful because he is still your grandfather. Instead of focusing attention on getting away from him, focus on being there for your mom. I’m sure this is a happy yet difficult time for her so let her know you’re there for her no matter what. Hope this helps! Xoxo

by Lynae P. on 7/14/2012 4:06:52 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD

I have a family problem. My grandfather that I have not seen in 10 years after him and my grandmother pushed my family away, is now back in my life. We went out for lunch with him one time and I tried to be positive, but I do not want him back in my life. He is coming over again today and I don't want to see him. I feel as if I don't need him, or want him, in my life. I have so much anxiety over this, but my Mom wants me to try and see him. She says I'm her number one priority, but I don't want to reconnect with him at all. I want my Mom to have a relationship with her Dad, not me. What should I do?

by lalalauermeier on 7/14/2012 3:13:55 PM

 
 

That might just be happening to me...

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by heather99 on 7/14/2012 2:06:03 PM

 
 

Hey girls Smile

Sometimes, MODs get SUPER busy answering everyone's questions and can't answer yours. But you can always come to me Smile I can give advice on:
Boys
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Self-esteem/confidence
Recipes

And any other advice you need! Please don't be afraid to ask because I promise I will not judge you and give you an honest answer to your question. I also check GL almost every day so I guarantee a speedy response! Im also here if you need someone to talk to. So what are you waiting for? My profile is a click away Smile

by xXMissBehavedXx on 7/14/2012 12:38:20 PM

 
 

Boys are so confusing sometimes!

by coco4 on 7/14/2012 9:21:17 AM

 
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