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GUYS | WHAT GUYS THINK

The Real Deal: Is he just using you?


 
How do you know when a guy really likes a girl or is just "using" her? I'm fourteen now and I'm dating my crush since middle school. At first I felt like I scored because I finally got him. But now I'm just afraid he plans on "using" me like most teenage boys do in relationships.

 

His Answer: “Sometimes guys are insecure and don’t know how to show a girl that they really like her, so he may be nervous around you and not really know how to be in a relationship,” says Jack, 15. “But he could be using you if he pressures you into doing things you don’t want to do.” 

 

Decoded: It’s possible that you two just need to get to know each other better before you can get that cool relationship you want. What’s not cool? Feeling like he is pressuring you to do anything you’re not ready for. 

 

Your move: If he ever tries to make you do anything you’re not ready for, tell him you’re not okay with it. Your relationship is 50/50, you both should have an equal say in what happens. If he doesn’t respect that, dating him is so not worth it. Look for a cutie that is honest with you about why he likes you, and be honest with him too!
 

BY ANDREA CWIEKA ON 7/13/2012 12:00:00 AM

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24 Comments | Add Yours
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Hey peacenluv22, it definitely sounds like he likes you. If he has a girlfriend, it may be best to wait until he's out of a relationship to make your move. I would text him but only as a friend because you don't want to get involved or cause any relationship drama. Hope this helps! Xoxo



MOD MOD MOD
soo i really like this guy...and last night my friend was texting him(he doesnt really know her at all) and he told her to have me text him so i did. we talked for like 3 hours or so and he put a lot of smiley faces and winkey faces. and he also gave me a compliment!!! then after a while i told him i had to go and he replies.. ok night<3........how can i tell what all this means!?!?!?!?
and should i text him again or wait untill he texts me first!? And its weird cuz we have really never talked in person and im pretty sure he still has a girlfriend Frown please help!!! Lynae P.

by peacenluv22 on 8/4/2012 10:56:09 AM

 
 

Hey kfashionqueen900, yeah I would wait for him to come around. Give it a few days and see if he reaches out to you. Xoxo



MOD MOD MOD
this guy told me he liked me but then when out with another girl 2 days later, even though i said i liked him. but she broke up with him. i dont know if he still likes me. should i go after him or just let it go ? Lynae P.

by kfashionqueen900 on 7/28/2012 3:47:51 PM

 
 

1. Say your name 10 times.
2. Say your mom's name 5 times.
3. Say your crush's name 3 times.
4. Paste this to 4 other quizzes. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday, but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck! SEND THIS TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

by haker13 on 7/25/2012 11:37:31 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMOD
Ok so I've liked my boyfriend since like April and he knows it and then I worked up the nerve to ask him out on the Fourth of July and he said yes problem is he used to date my friend and everyone said he was totally in love with her and also liked me and he says he likes me and all that and we flirt but sometimes it seems like he's into me and sometimes he's just bored is he into me or not ??? Many people have told me to break up with him or that he's not the person that I think he is and tht I'm blinded by love butI don't listen and I've confronted him about it too I'm SOOO CONFUSED !!!!!!!! Help ?




Hey girlie,

You can't listen to what other people tell you, think you should do, etc. - you're the one who is IN the relationship, so you call the shots! Do you feel good around him? Does he respect you? Are you happy? If so, try to accept that every guy is going to have a past - you can't compare yourself to his old girlfriends or constantly ask yourself "Omg does he love me?!" because you'll drive yourself crazy. Try to enjoy your relationship, have fun, and get to know him better. If he's giving you the cold shoulder a lot, he's not treating you right and you deserve better. If you're just letting your doubts make you worry, try to loosen up and just enjoy it one day at a time. But if you need to constantly be talking/flirting just to make yourself feel like he's into you, try to remember it's normal for him to have a life and other interests! Relationships are all about balance Smile
Lauren C.

by GissetR on 7/19/2012 5:08:40 PM

 
 




MOD MOD MOD
My boyfriend used to be totally in love with my best friend and now they've broken up and a month later she told me to date him and now I am but the thing is everyone still says he's in love with my best friend and I'm just a re-bound . and My best friend is telling me things like "he's a horrible person" and "You should break up with him" when she's the one who set me up with him and sometimes it seems like he's into me and sometimes it's like he doesn't care WHAT SHOULD I DO ??? Because I feel like I'm totally in love with him and I'm also confused .

 

Hey girl,

If you really like him, be watchful of his actions. Does he show genuine interest around you? Or does it seem like he's always paying most attention on your friend when everyone is hanging out? If so, your boo might still have feelings for your BFF. In this case, move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and it's not worth waiting around to see if he can get over his feelings for another girl. You might even try talking to him about it by hinting about the rumors and explaining that you trust him and just want to know his true feelings on the whole situation. If it seems like he's really into you, don't worry. Your BFF might be a tad jealous (and missing him a little), so take her advice with a grain of salt.  

 


Catherine C.

by GissetR on 7/19/2012 4:56:13 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
So my step cousin (who I think of as a real cousin) and his friend (who I've never met) seem to be fighting over me. It's just a very odd situation and it makes me kind of uncomfortable. What do I do?

 

Hey girl! Tell your step cousin that you think of him as family and dating him would make things awkward for the fam.  As for the guy you've never met, unless you plan on getting to know him, just avoid talking about it.  If you meet him and like him, be careful.  It might make things awkward in for your cuz.  xoxo 

Kate G. Maggie P.

by atisa7 on 7/19/2012 10:57:35 AM

 
 

Some guys are just mean. They don't seem to know how much they can hurt someone.

by LovelyDays111 on 7/14/2012 11:06:57 PM

 
 

About a year ago, the guy that i have liked since about 3rd grade asked me out. So we go out for 6 months. Durning that time i thought that i had just won the lottery. Turns out durning that time 'boyfriend' was justa word. He still was with other girls, but just never called them girlfriend. I was so mad. He used me the whole time; asking questions about how to talk to girls, and what they like. It never came to my senses that it wasn't about me. Now were not friends but i think i made the wrong decision.

by TrueGirl14 on 7/14/2012 8:30:04 PM

 
 



mod mod mod
so me and my besties love going to the beach and would like it even more if we new what to say to the cuties we see. we r both natural flirts but we get tounge tied alot around guys. any idea what we could do or say? Thanks in advance.
-myth_lover

Hey girl, you could start by introducing yourself! Ask what grade they are in and what hobbies they like, and it will go from there. It's the same as talking to guys at school! But keep in mind that you might not see these guys again, and there's nothing wrong with having a girls day out!
Meghan D.

by myth_lover on 7/13/2012 10:19:26 PM

 
 



MOD MOD I'm Wondering if this is normal I have a new bf and we used to text almost every day and he would come over to my house and we'd go out and do stuff now I haven't seem him since Saturday and he hasn't texted me in a long time and the last time I texted him first. And he is just continually not talking to me. He Told me he loves me is this normal ? Or am I overreacting thanks Mod Smile

Hey girl, 

If you're having communication problems, you should talk to him about it! If he cares about you, he will want to talk to you about it. He might just be busy, but you need to talk it out if you want your relationship to last!
Meghan D.

by Colorful1 on 7/13/2012 9:08:43 PM

 
 

I just have to wonder why on earth some guys use girls...it's like, just have some respect for me... :\

by Acutiebookworm on 7/13/2012 4:38:58 PM

 
 

Hey girls Smile

Sometimes, MODs get SUPER busy answering everyone's questions and can't answer yours. But you can always come to me Smile I can give advice on:
Boys
Fashion
Beauty
Periods
Eating healthy
Workouts
Family probs
School
Friends
Mean girls
Popularity
Money makers
Boredom Busters
Your attitude
Bullying
Parties
Death/loss
Summer camp
Fears
Your bod
Self-esteem/confidence
Recipes
And any other advice you need! Please don't be afraid to ask because I promise I will not judge you and give you an honest answer to your question. I also check GL almost every day so I guarantee a speedy response! Im also here if you need someone to talk to. So what are you waiting for? My profile is a click away Smile

by xXMissBehavedXx on 7/13/2012 4:10:39 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Ok so is there any specific age you have to be in order to submit a pitch for 'Do You Have What it Takes to Write for GL?' Thanks a bunch!




Hey girl,

Nope, I don't think there's any particular age that you need to be! Good luck! 
Kelly G.

by xXMissBehavedXx on 7/13/2012 4:07:11 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
Ok, so I emailed my BF saying I was ready for him to hold my hand, because earlier he said he wanted to but I told him i wasn't ready. He hasn't emailed back and It's been a week! I'm freaking out, should I be? Should I email him again? HELP!!!!




Hey babe,

Do you normally speak to him more than that? If not, just try to be patient. If you normally talk more, I would send him another email just saying that you miss him and want to hang out with him soon - maybe suggest an activity for you guys to do or a place to visit. Don't mention the hand-holding thing again. Just act normal and if the hand holding comes up, let him be the one to bring it up first. 
Kelly G.

by DreamSinger on 7/13/2012 1:15:02 PM

 
 



I'm 11 turning 12 August 31 and my bf is 13. He has ADD but I'm not sure if it has anything to do with our relationship. He never pays attention to me at school, never holds my hand or hugs me(anymore), so, what do I do!?? I can't contact him in the summer because he went to Germany on vacation. He says he loves me and is not a 'physical person'. What do I do? (BTW he says he is goth but that's not really true and he did a bunch of weird stuff all the time last year like jump on older kids' backs and yell and run and play swords with his friend in class)
Thanks!!! loppyears12

 

Hey girl,

It might very well be that your BF isn't a physical person. When he gets back from vacay, explain to him that you realize he's not a physical person, but that he doesn't even give you the time of day! If you express how you're feeling he'll realize how he's treating you. If he continues to do this and you are still upset with how he's treating you, you might want to think about moving on. Just make sure you're happy in whatever dating situation you're in, and if not, make a change! 


Catherine C.

by loppyears12 on 7/13/2012 12:07:47 PM

 
 



im only 11 turninng 12 july 24th 2012 and my boyfreind is like 14 and we dont talk much cuz he says hes busy but yet i heard that his life is really hard right now but i still dont know if he is just using me to have a girlfreind or he actually does like me
HELP ?!?!?

 

Hey girl,

You might want to confront your boo about this. If you two don't talk a lot, is it really even a worthwhile relationship? Call him or invite him over and explain that you like dating him and you like him, but you're not sure how he is feeling and you don't want to be a part of a relationship that's only one-sided. If he doesn't seem genuinely interested, move on. Otherwise, he might really have a lot going on and have a good explanation for the way he's been acting 


Catherine C.

by kwarnecke2000 on 7/13/2012 11:27:44 AM

 
 



So I am 14 going into 10th grade & I feel like a complete loser since I never had a bf or a my first kiss. I am so complicated like I want a real relationship not the ones that last like a month a real one. I want to be with someone who fits my qualities and I have a long list. I feel like it's because of my school's diversity. I am mixed(white, spanish & african american). But since my skin color is chocolate/carmel & most of the guys at my school are white I don't have a good chance. At my school you see no biracial couples. I don't care about color what so ever. I feel so behind. I think I'm pretty but i'm also short. I'm 4'11! I'm also known to talk A LOT and really fast. Are these all flaws? I am also nervous that when the time does come(getting a bf) I might not know how to kiss right or doing stuff right. Like what do u do when ur in a relationship besides kiss & hug? * What do u talk about? These questions I do need help in. Help! P.S. read word 4 word I have alot of ?'s. Thnx

 

Hey girl!

Don't worry, you're definitely NOT a loser. A lot of times girls are ready to get involved with boys, but the boys aren't! Boys don't mature as fast as girls so they still might not be into the whole "dating" thing. You just have to trust that you'll find someone, because trust me you will!! If you spot a cute guy at school, strike up a convo with him and get to know him! Flirt a little and be your awesome self, and he won't be able to stop noticing you! Slow down a little when you're talking, but talking a lot isn't a flaw! It shows that you're totally a people person and love to get to know everyone around you. When the time comes for your first kiss and first boyfriend, you're going to be nervous. Check out this link for some tips on your first kiss: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2012/07/01/First-Kiss-Freak-Out-Is-it-normal-to-get-nauseous.aspx 


Catherine C.

by andsothelionfellinlovewiththelamb on 7/13/2012 4:20:36 AM

 
 



MODMODMOD
I like to text my crush A LOT. He knows I like him, but I don't know if he likes me. I've asked him who does he like and he always tells me no one. Last night, he told me that he didn't feel like texting. I feel really bad because I am kinda clinging to him. What should I do? -megagirrl

 

Hey girl!

Being too pushy and clingy can be a turn off to guys. If you really like him, you should be relaxed and calm about the whole situation. Stop texting him and see if he texts you. This will be a great test to see if he wants to talk to you or not. It sounds to me like he might be a little overwhelmed with all your texting, etc. Back off a little and see how he reacts.  


Catherine C.

by megagirrl on 7/13/2012 2:03:39 AM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMODMOD(PLEASE)
So i have a TON of aeropostale shirts and the new school year is coming. I wanted to know if there was a way i could redo i guess you could say my shirts or a make-over for my shirts. Cause a shirt in many colors that just says "Aeropostale" gets boring if you know what i mean.PLEASE HELP!!!!!
THANKS ________Boypolar________




Hey girl,

My favorite way to change the look of a shirt is simple: blazers! Snag some affordable blazers from places like Forever 21 and go for bold: red, classic black, white, yellow, striped. Even if you have 2 or 3 blazers, you can mix and match with these tees (and a pair of skinny jeans on the bottom) for a classic, chic look! 
Lauren C.

by boypolar on 7/13/2012 12:59:41 AM

 
 

?Questions about your body? your crush? Your studying? Anything i have answers and love meeting new people anytime! im here to help you! No question is too weird or stupid trust me its called

I Believe In You

also im looking for people to help run the club i just started the club so spread the news around thanks!

by lilliebeans on 7/13/2012 12:43:37 AM

 
 

you can also tell if hes using you if all he does is make you do things for him like example his homework or if your partners in a project he makes you do all the work and not help out

xoxo-Good Luck

by lilliebeans on 7/13/2012 12:43:16 AM

 
 



mod mod mod
i dont understand most magazines for girls. i mean, in one article they'll be talking about how you should love yourself the way you are, and that you're beautiful. but then they talk about the best make up to make you look prettier and the best workouts to lose weight. do you agree with me or am i just over thinking?




Hey girlie,

I think you're totally free to interpret this in your own way! Personally though, I see these articles as a way for girls to feel their most confident, learn how to take care of themselves/work out/eat healthy, and overall be a better person. A lot of girls (especially at our age) worry about not "knowing who they are." And they feel a lot of pressure to turn into someone else, just to please other people. So it's really important to remember that YOU are special and that, like you said, you should love yourself for who you are. But having confidence is a major part of that - for example, some people love being creative with makeup and the confidence it gives them. It's not about impressing other people by having the newest eyeshadow trend. It's about picking colors that work best for your skin tone/coloring so that YOU feel good about yourself when you look in the mirror. And it's always smart to treat your bod well and get a little exercise every day, so you are in shape and your bod can protect you against illnesses. It's not about losing weight - it's about respecting your body and taking good care of it. You only get one, after all Smile Same with articles about guys - sure we have lots about how to "snag your crush," but it's not about putting on a show just to win him over. It's about learning to socialize, surrounding yourself with good people, keeping up healthy relationships, and making yourself happy. That's what it's all about, in the end!
Lauren C.

by gleek97 on 7/13/2012 12:42:55 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD ok there is this guy i met on summer vacay i can still talk to him but he is two years older than me should i date him if i get the chance or let him go thx!




Hey girlie,

Do you like him? Does he like you? Does he respect you, make you feel safe/happy, treat you well? Ask yourself all these things and then see if you have anything in common. 2 years is a big age difference right now, but it could work if you have enough interests/passions/goals in common to bond over! <3 Just be careful and remember to NEVER feel pressured into doing anything you don't want to do. He's older so he might be a little more advanced/experienced - but that doesn't mean you should feel pushed to do anything you aren't ready for. If he's a good guy for you, he will respect that!
Lauren C.

by pokerface16 on 7/13/2012 12:37:23 AM

 
 

Got a question about your bod? Wondering about celebrity gossip? Getting mixed signals from your crush? Digging in your closet for something to wear? We've got advice about everything about everything.

by pretty123 on 7/13/2012 12:02:41 AM

 
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