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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

My BF and I always fight--should we work it out or break up?


 
I need help and fast. My boyfriend and I always fight, but we love each other a lot and don’t want to break up. What should I do to solve the problem? We fight over the dumbest things, but we always get over it. Is that good?


Dear Boyfriend Fighter,

It’s good that you always get over it—not good that you always fight. Try changing your tone of voice to break the pattern. If he wants to watch Inception on DVD but you’ve both already seen it a zillion times, say, “I know you like that movie, but what else is there?” That will go over way better than, “No way! I’m sick of that movie, and you never let me pick.” Instead of fighting like siblings who can’t stand each other, take a step back and ask yourself, “If this were our first date, what would I say?” Then say that. And, sorry, but I have to ask: Are you absolutely sure you two don’t want to break up? It takes two to make or break a relationship, and all the changing in the world on your part won’t make any difference if he’s not equally interested in getting along. The thought of ending it might seem scary but, then again, don’t you think there might be a more peaceful relationship out there for you—one with lots of talking and laughing, and not so much arguing and fighting?
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 8/1/2012 1:00:00 PM

POSTED IN , , , , , ,

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21 Comments | Add Yours
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2/2 -- crush on him.. well, he told me he really likes me! i told him i have a boyfriend (who happens to be one of his friends) but we still always text... i'm starting to really like him and we have so much in common but i feel really bad about the fact that i have a boyfriend Frown also... he's ready for things that i'm not ready for. we were playing 20 questions and he asked me how far i'd go with him if we were dating and i told him 2nd base (I'm in grade 8 and he's in grade 9) and then I asked him and he said anything... when I asked him what he meant by anything he said 'sex. but i would only go to a girl's comfort zone' which i thought was great of him to say (about the comfort zone) but im still kinda freaked out about it... because I'm thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend and getting to know this guy better... what do i do!?!?!?!?!?!? plase help me Frown

by Anonymous... on 8/22/2012 7:58:09 PM

 
 

1/2 I could really use some help right now! I met this guy about 2 months ago and then he asked me out a few weeks ago (on the 5th) and we've been dating ever since... I had told him that I wanted a casual relationship because I don't want a really serious boyfriend right now, and he said that's fine. except... the first week we started going out he told me he loved me! it was through texting (I was on holiday) and so I just sent <3 to him... then the next day he said it again!! I said awww <3 and he replied with 'don't you love me too? Frown ' I didn't know what to say because truth is, idk if i like him or not :/ so I just said 'well of course! i just thought you already knew that :p ' to save his feelings. but ive realized that rushing into is was a bad idea because we have nothing in common! we're either sitting there in silence or arguing.. i feel really bad about it Frown but things got worse! a couple weeks ago, the guy that i don't know too well but i've always had a omghessocute --

by Anonymous... on 8/22/2012 7:54:01 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMOD!!!!!
I just have a quick question...why on your site do you only ever mention guys? Some girls like girls, and would like advice on that also! And I'm sure, because you do seem to cater to a a more heterosexual audience, it may seem awkward for them to ask a question about that. I just feel that maybe instead of having a GUYS section (which is kinda just like a big flashing light saying "STRAIGHT GIRLS ONLY"...no offence of course!) you could have it cater to both gay and straight girls? Or maybe have a little section even just for us bi/homosexual girlies! Sorry, this just came up during a convo I was having with my GF about magazines and I thought...why not ask?
But yeah, I was just really wondering if there was a reason your site/magazine seems to cater only to the heterosexual population? Or is it just a majority kind of thing?
Thanks a lot Smile




Hey girlie,

Thanks so much for your feedback! We definitely try to write articles that all our readers will enjoy. I think you mentioning the "majority thing" raises a good point - most of the questions we receive from our readers are asking about their guy crushes, so we do write lots of "heterosexual" articles in order to answer their questions. But that's not the only question we get! Every reader is unique and different, so we know that many of you will be in different situations. We're still working on writing a better variety of articles for all readers, but for now you can always check out our sexuality tag: http://www.girlslife.com/tag/sexuality.aspx There, we talk about being honest with yourself about who you like, being tolerant to everyone's unique situation, current events, and even how to make friends with other LGBT people if you want a bigger support network around you. I hope this helps! We want you to feel at home at GL.com no matter what, so we really appreciate your suggestion Smile
Lauren C.

by AmazingSveaBabe on 8/9/2012 8:03:46 PM

 
 

Hola chicas! For even more boy help with fast replys, join the club "Guys R Us"! It's all about boys! Please join! <3 Alicia

by cali princess on 8/5/2012 2:35:19 AM

 
 

What do i do when i tell my boyfriend no,then he gets mad at me bc i keep telling him no bc he doesn't stop asking after i say no?i've thought about breaking up with him should i even though i really like him?

by sweettarts13 on 8/4/2012 6:41:19 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMOMOD
My BGF is my best friend, but he creeps my other friends out. I'm not sure why, but he does. I tell them to give him a chance, but they always say "He's creepy! Why are you friends with him?"
HELP!




Hey girlie,

It's actually not weird at all to have more than one group of friends! There's never a guarantee that one bestie will totally love your other bestie, so don't stress too much about this. Just try to spend time separately with each group (devote some time to your BGF, and other time to your other friends) so you can keep up your friendships without causing any tension Smile You can't force people to like each other - but you like them, which is all that matters! <3 
Lauren C.

by FtLouie on 8/2/2012 7:27:56 PM

 
 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Need help with styling your hair? Need to know the perfect hairstyle for that special occasion or for bowling with your buds? Then join my group "Hair Styling Help" (http://www.girlslife.com/Club.aspx?id=10902)! I will post lots of hair tips and ideas and answer your hair questions daily! Positions are open!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

by LovePeaceHope on 8/2/2012 7:26:13 PM

 
 



Hey girl,

This did work when you posted it before - it just takes our mods some time to answer because we get busy! Try to be patient and only post once! <3
Lauren C.

by swifty#1 on 8/2/2012 6:10:13 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Hi! I'm going to NYC really soon, and i was wondering what kind of clothes and other stuff I should pack. I'm going for ten days.
Thanks!




Hey girlie,

I live in NYC, so first off let me prepare you - it has been H-O-T this summer! Whew! Definitely pack some comfy denim shorts, tank tops, and tee shirts for walking around. Sunscreen and sunglasses are a must too! A pair of cute sneaks like Keds will be perf for walking in style, while long pajama pants and a tee shirt will be great for nighttime. Pack plenty of undies and the essentials like deodorant, a toothbrush, and lipgloss. And don't forget the fun stuff - a camera, a book or magazines, and a perfume or some fun jewelry to make you feel fab!
Lauren C.

by triplethreat335 on 8/2/2012 5:32:16 PM

 
 

My ex keeps texting me telling me he wants me back but he broke up with me and idk wat to do bcuz i think i also like my BGF and i still have feelings for my ex but he hurt me and i dont think my BGF is going to like me so shud i just get back together with my ex?

by picklegrape on 8/2/2012 2:28:11 PM

 
 



MOD!
Why dont my comments show up?




Hey girl! We have lots of comments coming in, so yours might take longer to show up! xxoo 
Maggie P.

by picklegrape on 8/2/2012 2:16:02 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MODY MOD MOD
I’m going into high school this year and I’m worried about making friends. I only have two good friends and one of them is getting on my nerves. She won’t stop cursing, she’s rude to my mom, and is annoying me with her bluntness. My other friend I’m very close to, but we have almost too much in common, yet so little at the same time. She’s not super tomboyish, but doesn’t care too much clothes and what people think of her. Some of her friends kinda, um, embarrass me. I know it’s shallow, but they make animal noises and get weird look from our peers. I really want to try and make new friends, but I’m scared. Last year I was always alone and very shy. What should I do? Please help!

 

Hey girl! The good news is that lots of people want to make new friends in high school.  Battle your shyness by thinking about it as another kind of homework. Make small "assignments" (you have to talk to at least one new person a day for a week) and then get to know the people you talk to better.  Don't ditch your old friends, but phase in new friends.  Joining clubs and teams also helps you neet new people.  No one dislikes someone if they are genuinely friendly, so relax, smile, and say hi to the person sitting next to you in homeroom! xoxo 


Kate G.

by emmyie11 on 8/2/2012 9:40:40 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!
Hi, so I am trying to have a paris-y fashionista themed room! My main room colors are black, white, and pink and a damask pattern. I was thinking some ways to make it more my theme are to get a white, black, or damask lampshade, pink sheets (my bedding is damask), painting my vanity white, painting my desk white. What do you think of those, and do you have any other ideas?

 

Those sound great, chica!  You could get a cool Paris picture and put in on your wall.  Try making a cool shadow box of a black and white photo and some little "Parisian" touches, like a little Eiffel Tower replica and a beret! xoxo 


Kate G.

by WinnieGirlie on 8/1/2012 4:00:17 PM

 
 

i think that, you might wanna take a break?? maybe cause its not good to always fight.

by j4zm09 on 8/1/2012 3:59:24 PM

 
 

if u guys really like each other still trhat's gr8. but, if u fight over all the little stuff, is it b/c you disagree on the litttle stuff or u r afraid to fight/talk abt the big stuff and that is just a cover up? yopu have to find the answers.

by N3rdyRand0mn3ss on 8/1/2012 3:40:33 PM

 
 

Join my club
"Just us girls up in here[:" You can find it on my profile! It's a girls club and we can talk about our needs, etc. Makeup, hair, beauty, fashion, school, friends, whatever you want to talk about! Positions are open! We're always updated

by monicaisfabuluz on 8/1/2012 2:57:54 PM

 
 

stitch

by monicaisfabuluz on 8/1/2012 2:57:00 PM

 
 

Hey girls, please join my clubs! If you ever need advice just ask and we’ll get back to you asap!
Queens of Hearts<3 :a club where you can get advice on hair, beauty, fashion, life, friends and especially boys!
Let’s Get Active! : a club that is pretty much a whole group of workout buddies who will give advice, motivate and inspire you to reach your fitness goals and stay healthy and active!

Please join, we’d love to have you and I would appreciate it sooo much!

<3 Honeycakes

by honeycakes on 8/1/2012 2:48:58 PM

 
 

We all can argue a little but if you are really fighting all the time you may not be compatible with each other. But if something is bothering you or him, that can be a problem for your relationship even if you two are meant to be with each other.

by fashionqn on 8/1/2012 2:48:05 PM

 
 

Join my club Oh, Boy!
**LOOKING FOR A VP AND OTHER OFFICERS NOW**
Guys gotcha stuck? From friendships to those annoying boys, crushes and love, exes and bfs, dating advice,even just looking good to impress a guy or what to say. Any problems, questions, and cute stories about the guys in your life can be helped here. Advice from and for anyone allowed. <3 xoxo!

by camigal on 8/1/2012 2:14:03 PM

 
 

1. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!! Join my club: Operation: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Our mission is to post anonymous notes in public places for other people to find. The point is that WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL!!! In my club, we will have daily quotes that you can put on post- its to uplift girls. We also give advice on how you can make your day better, and everyone else’s day better! So please join our uplifting club so we can tell everyone that we are beautiful the way we are!

2. Join "I'm awesome and I know it!" Share what makes YOU awesome and maybe find others with your intrests!

by coolgal332 on 8/1/2012 1:48:41 PM

 
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