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ADVICE | FRIENDS

33 Comments | Add Yours

Say sayonara to the babes that are bringin' ya down

 

Check these out, too...

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Whether you’ve been hangin’ with the same crew since kindergarten or you just found some buds at your new school, there are times when you can tell that your pals don’t have your best interests at heart. So when you realize that a new crop of friends is a must-have, here’s how to slip out of your old buds’ lives without making too much of a ruckus.

 

Tone Down the Chitchat

Don’t just stop talking to your besties all of a sudden or completely ignore all of their calls and texts. But it is a good idea to communicate a li’l less each day, so you can slip off their radar. Instead of running to your old pals the next time you need advice or wanna chat about your day, text a new friend that you’d like to get closer with. If your old friends call or text you, it’s totally okay to respond, of course. Just don’t go out of your way to keep up a convo with them 24/7.

 

Get Busy

When you realize that your friends aren’t a good influence, it’s time to stop hangin’ with them. If they call and invite you to go somewhere, tell them you’re busy. Or you can always say that your mom won’t let you go – she probably won’t mind playing the bad guy, if it means you can focus on making healthier friendships. After a while, your old pals will notice that you’re not making an effort to spend time with them, and they’ll most likely stop inviting you.

 

Stay Sweet

The most important thing when you’re trying to break free from friends is that you’re still polite to them. The last thing you want is a huge fight that ends in glares following you through the hallways at school. So talk to your old pals if they approach you, and go hang with them once in a long while if they still really want you to. And definitely do NOT talk badly about them behind their backs. No matter what it was that made you decide they weren’t the right crew for you, that is between you and them. Don’t involve your new friends in any old drama, and do your best to just start fresh. Hopefully your old pals will take the hint that you’re not super-thrilled to hang with them anymore, and they’ll let you go quietly on your way.

 

What are your best tips for switching friends smoothly?
 
 

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BY CARRIE RUPPERT ON 9/1/2012 12:00:00 AM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, bad friend, 411 on fighting with friends, growing apart, I'm feeling left out

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So there is this girl lets call her A. She went to my school for like 2 years then left. While she was gone she sent me a message that started a fight between A and I. Then she calls up another girl(S is what I will call her) And while on the same line as A and S my best friend (she doesn't like A but her mom wants them two to be friends) So on the same line A and S agree that they are going to beat ME up when we move to the next school where both A and S are going to go next year. What should I do? My Best friend told me that they BOTH agreed( A and S not my friend) that they are going to best me up when I thought that S was my friend. I am not scared cuz I don't think she will really beat me up but still. Its a threat not directly to my face but according to my friend. So im not sure what to do. I feel betrayed and just other feelin mixed together. HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

 

 

hey chica, this is bullying and is getting to be violent. Tell an adult you trust like your parents, a teacher, or a counselor.

 

Hannah H. 


Hannah H.

report

by LunaEstrellas on 1/1/2013 2:45:47 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
Okay, so my friend had a slumber party that ended today. Her brother has ADHD but can control it. He said something so naughty about me doing something to my crush as a joke that I get sick to my stomach and it really effected me. All my friends thought it was gross, too. What can I do to get it out of my mind without telling my parents or seeing a therapist?? Please help, it's kind of disturbing.

 

Hey girlie, watch movies, listen to music, anything to take your mind off things and make you think of something else. Once you take your mind off it hopefully you won't keep thinking about it. 


Lauren T.

report

by iloveonedirection! on 12/30/2012 5:10:23 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
So I have 2 friends I met on an online game. We're all 13 and we video chat and talk and text all the time. ( Yes, our parents are okay with this. ) I'll call them M and R. M & I have known each other for 3 years and then we met R about a year ago. M & R have some stuff in common like what they watch on TV and stuff, but R & I don't have a lot in common at all, so we don't really talk that much. I'll try to talk to her about something things, but usually either she ignores it or just says "XD". Do you have any ideas on what I can talk to her about or do so that we will get along and talk more? PS: We have gotten in a few little fights about some things. Nothing major, but we have gotten in quite a few fights, but we did make up and apologize.

 

 Hey! Sounds to me like you're putting in a good effort to talk to R, but it takes two to start a friendship, so just keep up what you're doing, maybe bring up some topical things like movies that are coming out or games you both might like. Good luck!


Helen S.

report

by jazzdancer99 on 12/29/2012 2:15:32 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I know this girl and we used to be friends but she switched schools about a year and a half ago. After she left me and my other friends who used to hang out with her realized that she was mean and was just using us. And she is also a bad influence due to what she has done in the past and is still doing. But now she is back and my friends have been able to get the messege through to her that they don't want to be friends anymore. I, on the other hand, seem to have fallen into her trap again. I asked some of my friends what I should do to get the point across that I don't want to be friends and they suggested that I be mean to her. But I can't intentionally be mean to people, it makes me feel bad. How can I tell her that I don't want to be friends with her anymore without being too mean to her? One of my friends has also offered to tell her to just leave me alone. What do you suggest I do?




I don't think you've fallen in her trap if you already know what her trap is. If you don't want to be friends with her, just tell her that you think she was using you before and you're not interested in being friends again. If talking is too hard, than just slowly stop talking to her and hang out more with your other friends.
mailyse f.

report

by prettytough14 on 12/26/2012 3:17:33 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Okay, so this one girl and I have been best friends since we were 4. Lately, she has been hanging out with this one girl who I used to also be best friends with, but we grew apart because of her being mean. So anyways, we don't hang out anymore like we used to but we still talk every now and then. I'm kinda fine with it, because I have other great friends. The only think that bothers me is that the one who we grew apart, seems to enjoying talking to the people I was talking to right when I start talking. Other the that, the MAIN thing that bothers me is that all of my new friends always talk about EVERYTING they do with my old bestie and the one friend dwho we grew apart. What am I supposed to do because sometimes I want wish to be friends again with my old bestie? Please help! Thanks! <3 (sorry this is so long!)

 

Hey girl! If you want to be close again with your bestie, talk to her about it! You cant just hope she'll know what you want. And maybe that old friend has changed for the better? Theres no way to know unless you o something about it and work on your relationships. good luck!

xoxo 


Katie L.

report

by Jaime98766 on 11/28/2012 4:49:52 PM

 
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