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ADVICE | FRIENDS

33 Comments | Add Yours

Say sayonara to the babes that are bringin' ya down

 

Check these out, too...

  • Help! My BFF can't stand my BF
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Whether you’ve been hangin’ with the same crew since kindergarten or you just found some buds at your new school, there are times when you can tell that your pals don’t have your best interests at heart. So when you realize that a new crop of friends is a must-have, here’s how to slip out of your old buds’ lives without making too much of a ruckus.

 

Tone Down the Chitchat

Don’t just stop talking to your besties all of a sudden or completely ignore all of their calls and texts. But it is a good idea to communicate a li’l less each day, so you can slip off their radar. Instead of running to your old pals the next time you need advice or wanna chat about your day, text a new friend that you’d like to get closer with. If your old friends call or text you, it’s totally okay to respond, of course. Just don’t go out of your way to keep up a convo with them 24/7.

 

Get Busy

When you realize that your friends aren’t a good influence, it’s time to stop hangin’ with them. If they call and invite you to go somewhere, tell them you’re busy. Or you can always say that your mom won’t let you go – she probably won’t mind playing the bad guy, if it means you can focus on making healthier friendships. After a while, your old pals will notice that you’re not making an effort to spend time with them, and they’ll most likely stop inviting you.

 

Stay Sweet

The most important thing when you’re trying to break free from friends is that you’re still polite to them. The last thing you want is a huge fight that ends in glares following you through the hallways at school. So talk to your old pals if they approach you, and go hang with them once in a long while if they still really want you to. And definitely do NOT talk badly about them behind their backs. No matter what it was that made you decide they weren’t the right crew for you, that is between you and them. Don’t involve your new friends in any old drama, and do your best to just start fresh. Hopefully your old pals will take the hint that you’re not super-thrilled to hang with them anymore, and they’ll let you go quietly on your way.

 

What are your best tips for switching friends smoothly?
 
 

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BY CARRIE RUPPERT ON 9/1/2012 12:00:00 AM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, bad friend, 411 on fighting with friends, growing apart, I'm feeling left out

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dateing him, me and him are acting like best friends, jokeing around, pretending to be buddies (well, i'm pretending/mostly. he might not realize he probably is too) and a scary thing is that once in a while, i find myself thinking i could like him, but i brain-slap myself back to sanity and think to myself "no, we're ony friends because of victoria". but i don't really mean it when i think i like him, because obviously i dont. i think it's just that seeing him be so funny and a good bf to my best friend, who i would proect from anything, that it just seems like it. please help me from thinking like this!

report

by soccacheer on 11/15/2012 10:19:22 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
I have a bestfriend who is friends with a guy who tease me about embarassing thing and make me feel AWFUL. If someting embarassing happens at my friends house, she tells the guy exacty what happened, then they make fun of me. I say when the emarassing things happen, not to tell anyone but she does anyway. This happened recently and she denyed she was doing anything wrong saying this was a joke. i over reacted when she was making fun of me and (I never loose control like this) fingered her friend and asked quiety in she was on her period (not my finest moment). Right now im ignoring her and she fb me and told me i was being rude and it was just a joke (not funny at all). She is also the fault finder type of friend and well... not many perople actually like her! She is really popular though and i dont want everyone turning against me. she has been my bff since i was born but im sick of her and her guyfriend. i have had good times with her in the past. What should i do?




Stay away!! She obviously isn't a REAL friend. Friends don't do that. Do not trust her with anything else. Try finding new and better friends. Good luck!  
mailyse f.

report

by kiwwigirl101 on 10/26/2012 2:10:25 PM

 
 

MOD
Theres this girl whos in my 5th per n she is always staring, giving me dirty looks, interrupting convos w/ my friends, or excluding me from an activity. My 2 friends I hang out with in the class are friends w/ her n say shes nice but she just seems so fake to me. When she talks to me shes rude but to everyone else shes nice. I feel like she thinks she has to compete with me since she has a spoiled brat attitude and the attention is always on her. For instance she found out I went to a 1D concert - glare even though she went with VIP passes. Found out I went to the VMAs and was on TV like 5 times - dirty look even though she was there but wasnt on TV. When we were doing sketches in class she kept looking at mine to see if hers were better.
Next time she does this I kinda just want to confront her and say 'okay whats your problem? All you do is give me dirty looks but you dont even know me' Do you think thats a good idea? Do you think she's trying to compete w/ me?

Hey girl,

It sounds like she's jealous of you, but I think most people would be if you're doing awesome stuff like seeing 1D and going to the VMAs! Instead of trying to compete back, try being nice to her for a change--she may be acting that way because she's insecure, so try complimenting her on something she's good at. If you're nice to her and she keeps leaving you out, try talking to her, but don't make it as confrontational as you describe. Try being nice and listening to her side of the story so that you can make up and become friends.

Meghan D.

report

by hannahbabiie96 on 9/28/2012 10:46:05 PM

 
 

Well there's a girl in my class who I've always had problems with. In sixth grade she said really mean things about me behind my back, and she is kinda rude to me now even after two years. She's kind of part of my friend group and I say that we're friends but I just can't stand how shes so rude and tries to make herself look better than everyone else and put me down. The problem is that although my friends dislike her a lot of the time, some of them just don't want t hurt her feelings by telling her off for it. And there's only 7 girls in my class since I go to a private school, and none of them like her. I can't just ditch her because of it and I don't want t hurt anyone's feelings but shes just bringing my friends and me down. What should I do?


Hey girl,

While you can't avoid her completely, you can definitely sit down with her one-on-one and tell her you don't appreciate when she's rude. Try to tell her that her actions hurt your feelings without being too accusatory. If this sounds like a tough conversation, talk to a teacher or guidance counselor and ask if they can be present when the two of you talk to facilitate and work things out. It will be better if you can talk (and listen) to each other! Good luck chica!


Meghan D.

report

by Sunny79 on 9/28/2012 10:15:32 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!
Ok, so I have this one friend (I'll call her Z) and we sometimes have a lot of fun. She's moved a lot and has confessed things to me that she hasn't really told anyone else, and when we're alone, she laughs at my jokes and stuff. But when we're not, and mostly all day at school, she'll start being mad at me for basically NO REASON! And then an hour later we'll be besties again. . .I've confronted her about it and then she got really mad. . . and an hour later she was fine again. What do I do?

 

Hey emonade, mhmm maybe she is going through something. I know that sometimes when I'm thinking about something, my mood will shift back and forth. Since she's opened up to you before ask her if she's okay. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

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by emonade on 9/28/2012 12:42:27 AM

 
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