Dave: Because we have e-mail to answer, silly. Actually, the phone doesn’t scare us—it’s this whole crazy system you females have somehow finagled. We have to call you, we have to ask you out, we have to plan...and then we have to pay! Regardless of our cool acts, most of us guys are shy and shaking in our Skechers around girls. Think about it—we sit there with the cordless in one hand and our crib notes in the other. After dialing all but the last digit of your number exactly 22 times, the phone rings. You know you’re in control because, well, we did call you. And therefore, like an Imperial Navy TIE fighter, you can shoot down every one of our well-thought-out topics. The only event with equal pressure involves a No. 2 pencil.

Bill: As usual, Dave speaks for all guys. The reason I don’t dial digits as often is the dreaded end-of-phone-call-sign-of-affection problem (i.e., “I like/love you, too”). My last girlfriend expected it but, most of the time, it resulted in intense social pressure, scowls and various sound effects when one of my fellow guys overheard.