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ADVICE | FRIENDS

23 Comments | Add Yours

Copycat alert! Help your friend find her own style

 

Check these out, too...

  • Help! My BFF can't stand my BF
  • My friend sulks if I do better in school than her. Help!
  • 3 times it's OK to tell your bestie's secret
  • Girl Code: Is it OK to date your BFF's crush?
Your friend is always joining the same clubs and doing everything that you do. You like her, of course, but you’re tired of seeing her every second of every day. So how do you get your pal to work on her own style this year?

 

 

Do: Build Her Up

Encourage your bestie to pursue her interests, mainly the ones that don’t line up with yours. Maybe she just isn’t confident enough to break into a new club on her own, and she needs your support to gather up the courage. So tell her how great her artwork is, or how smart she is. Then point out that she could really use those talents by joining the National Art Honor Society or the Quizbowl. Hopefully she’ll take the hint and give ‘em a chance.

 

Don’t: Take the Escape Route

The worst thing you can do to your shadow BFF is to quit a club after she joins. She’ll probably put 2 and 2 together, and realize that you’re trying to avoid her. And that’ll cause some major heartbreak. So even if she joins your newest club, too, don’t back out. Try to find your own friends within the club and to enjoy the new experience.

 

Do: Make Some Introductions

Try introducing your pal to some new people in the clubs that you guys have joined. Maybe they’ll have different interests than you that’ll capture her attention. And if not, at least she’ll have some other people to hang out with when that club meets, which means you can finally have a few minutes to yourself.

 

Don’t: Join to Join

It is definitely not cool to join a club that you’re not interested in at all just because you know your bestie would never follow you there. You’ll end up regretting it when you’re bored to tears in the meetings and have nothing in common with the other members. So don’t change your personality just because your pal is copying it – you had it first, and you deserve to keep it.

 

Do: Talk It Out

This one you’ve gotta be careful with because you can’t just accuse your BFF of totally copying you. Instead, try asking her what got her interested in the club, and if she doesn’t have a good answer, you can then steer her toward another activity that might be more up her alley. Maybe your questions will get her thinking about her real motives for joining, and she’ll take the hint that you don’t need a living, breathing shadow.

 

So chickies, what do you do when you’ve had a li’l too much together-time with your BFF?
 
 

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BY CARRIE RUPPERT ON 9/8/2012 11:09:00 AM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, good friend, bad friend, dealing with jealousy, how can I help my friend, copycat, dealing with competition

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23 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD MOD MOD
Why are some girls so snotty I mean
When I'm at the mall these girls give me
Death glares for no reason my mom said it
Was because I was a lot prettier then them and
Girls are funny about that but she's my mom
So she's supposed to say that! Please give me
Some advice Thanks a lot Smile

 

 hey! there could be many reasons that they looked at you, and you may be reading too much into it. maybe they weren't intending to glare at you in a mean way. If they were so what? You don't have to worry about them if they're just being mean. That's their problem. you just keep doing your thing girl Smile 


Helen S.

report

by redvelvetluv on 1/12/2013 2:10:11 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Okay hi. So this year I started my freshman year of high school, naturally meeting a LOT of new people. One girl in particular, though it took a few months for it to really happen, i became SO close with. Closer than I've ever been before with anyone. I am not in any way lesbian or bisexual, not that I have problem with people who are, but I'm not, and neither is this new besfriend of mine. I don't view her in that way either, at all, its weird to think about. But the thing is, I feel like without her I might as well be dead. I am so emotionally dependent on her it's not funny, and I care about her so much and all I want in life is for this girl to be happy. She doesnt have a perfect life, its really rough for her at home and I always am there for her because she doesnt get the love she deserves all the time. Is there something wrong with our friendship? What am I dealing with here?

 

Hey girl,

The best thing about having a best friend is having someone there to lean and rely on. It's totally normal to want nothing more than your BFF to be happy, after all, that's pretty much what we all want for our best ladies. When you see someone you care so much about go through something horrible, it's very, very difficult. There's nothing wrong with your friendship. What you feel toward her is probably a mixture of caring for her as a best friend and empathizing with her situation. Just keep being the awesome friend that you are and everything will work out. Xoxo


Alexis G.

report

by Ernsterr on 1/10/2013 2:10:15 AM

 
 

my firend and i are best friends but she dont want me to come over anymore i dont know why how can i ask her?

report

by popgirl79 on 1/5/2013 11:56:48 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!!
I am not feeling very good but I promised my friend that I would go to her archery class with her. I think I might tell her that I am not going but I don't want to hurt her feelings or make her think that I don't want to go because I do. She really wants me to go but I really don't feel good. What should I do? Help me ASAP!!!! Thanks!

Hey girl,

I'm sure she will understand if you're sick! Just tell her the truth and that you would be happy to go with her to the class next time. Get some rest and feel better!

Meghan D.

report

by cupcakecutie325 on 12/17/2012 7:32:21 PM

 
 



*Mod*
I kinda need help. I'm really jelous of my best friend. I know I shouldn't be, but I can't help it. I've always felt that I wasn't as good as her ever since were little. She's not what you call "super-popular" or anything its just that everyone loves her cause of her outgoing personality. She can talk to anyone and makes new friends so easily. I try to be this this way but its just not me. I'm nice and all, but I get really shy and uncomfortable sometimes. Everyone loves her, and im kinda just her side-kick if u know what I mean. Shes also very talented and gets every bit of recognition for it too. Shes musical, good at sports, smart etc. The problem is that i compare myself to her all the time.I'm good at my own things too, but nobody notices.I'm good in school, a good writer, a pretty good singer and songwriter too.Mom says its cause my friend talks about herself so much and i keep to myself.Could u help please?This is serious. I dont feel special or important compared to her.

 Hey girl, don't be so hard on yourself! You have tons of awesome talents that your friend doesn't, and there's nothing wrong with being introverted. You two complete each other! Don't be afraid to speak up about your accomplishments and invite her to your events, too. And it's okay to make new friends who like what you do, too!


Meghan D.

report

by 99Jade86 on 11/24/2012 10:01:31 PM

 
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