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ADVICE | FRIENDS

23 Comments | Add Yours

Copycat alert! Help your friend find her own style

 

Check these out, too...

  • My friend sulks if I do better in school than her. Help!
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  • My best gal is branching out...and I'm not OK with it
Your friend is always joining the same clubs and doing everything that you do. You like her, of course, but you’re tired of seeing her every second of every day. So how do you get your pal to work on her own style this year?

 

 

Do: Build Her Up

Encourage your bestie to pursue her interests, mainly the ones that don’t line up with yours. Maybe she just isn’t confident enough to break into a new club on her own, and she needs your support to gather up the courage. So tell her how great her artwork is, or how smart she is. Then point out that she could really use those talents by joining the National Art Honor Society or the Quizbowl. Hopefully she’ll take the hint and give ‘em a chance.

 

Don’t: Take the Escape Route

The worst thing you can do to your shadow BFF is to quit a club after she joins. She’ll probably put 2 and 2 together, and realize that you’re trying to avoid her. And that’ll cause some major heartbreak. So even if she joins your newest club, too, don’t back out. Try to find your own friends within the club and to enjoy the new experience.

 

Do: Make Some Introductions

Try introducing your pal to some new people in the clubs that you guys have joined. Maybe they’ll have different interests than you that’ll capture her attention. And if not, at least she’ll have some other people to hang out with when that club meets, which means you can finally have a few minutes to yourself.

 

Don’t: Join to Join

It is definitely not cool to join a club that you’re not interested in at all just because you know your bestie would never follow you there. You’ll end up regretting it when you’re bored to tears in the meetings and have nothing in common with the other members. So don’t change your personality just because your pal is copying it – you had it first, and you deserve to keep it.

 

Do: Talk It Out

This one you’ve gotta be careful with because you can’t just accuse your BFF of totally copying you. Instead, try asking her what got her interested in the club, and if she doesn’t have a good answer, you can then steer her toward another activity that might be more up her alley. Maybe your questions will get her thinking about her real motives for joining, and she’ll take the hint that you don’t need a living, breathing shadow.

 

So chickies, what do you do when you’ve had a li’l too much together-time with your BFF?
 
 

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BY CARRIE RUPPERT ON 9/8/2012 11:09:00 AM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, good friend, bad friend, dealing with jealousy, how can I help my friend, copycat, dealing with competition

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hey yall...need any advice come be a fan on my advice queen pg. or ask me a question and i will give you advice. same name as my profile. you can come to my profile to find it. cant wait to help you Smile ttyl

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by katymarielove on 10/29/2012 8:28:31 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!
I'm having friend problems. My best friend and I have been friends since 3rd grade. But she kinda acts funny sometimes. Like sometimes she randomly starts a fight while were texting. Like she asked if i had all a's and i said yes and she said that a was a goody two shoes. Then she would randomly stop. And sometimes when my mom says no to a sleepover she'll say i'm no fun. But this time we had plans to go to the fair (the fair is a carnival) today and then she said that she had to go to her cousins so she couldn't got o the fair. Then at the last minute she says her dad is taking her without any friends. Then she posted a pic on intsagram with her friend kacey. I feel like she ditched me. And im very sad. Is she a good friend??

Hey girl,

It sounds like you and your friend need to sit down and talk in person! While things that your parents decide (like not having a sleepover or going to a cousin's) are out of your control, if she lied to you and took another friend when you already had plans, that's not cool at all, and you deserve to know what's up! Tell her that you like spending time with her and want to stay friends, but that you're worried you're drifting apart. Tell her (without being accusatory) that you were sad to see the photo of her with someone else, and ask if you did something to upset her or if there was a reason (maybe a parent?) that she went with someone else. Let her know that her friendship is important to you but that you don't like her being mean, and listen to her side too so that you can work things out!

Meghan D.

report

by sheershine101 on 9/28/2012 8:59:19 PM

 
 

When i saw this article i knew it was just for me. i have this friend at school who ever since ive been friends with her shes been getting bra's that were way to big for her just because i have that bra or if i get shirt thats way cute, she just has to get a shirt thats better then mine. i feel like shes competed against me and i want it to stop, because i love her to death but it kinda get annoying. Ive actually spoke to her but she just denies it! HELPPPP

report

by natasaxoxo on 9/24/2012 4:51:32 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMOD!!!!!!!!!
Thanks sooo much. I have one lunch with my best friend and I want to sit with her at lunch but she sits with some people in marching band that I don't know that well and I a guy I like and I'm almost afraid to ask if its ok with her because I dont want to be somewhere if I'm not wanted but I also want to get a little bit away from that other girl. What is a good way to ask that dosent sound weird????

 

Hey girlie, if you see her in the mornings, ask her if she wants to eat lunch together. Then she'll probably invite you to sit with her marching band friends or she might choose to sit with you. But either way, you've put the idea of eating with you in her mind and you're one step closer. 
Lauren T.

report

by ladyinlike on 9/23/2012 7:12:56 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMOD!!!!!! So for awhile I had multiple best friends but now I am realizing that I only have one friend that I'm super close with. She's a great listener, understands me, has a personality identical to mine and we're a perfect match for each other we text all the time and tell each other everything and even though my moms only met once I can tell she likes her they were talking and laughing and getting along really well. My problem is there's a girl that I thought I was bffs with but now I'm not so sure. She has a history of lying for attention, she starts drama and she can be really self centered. Once she went off on me because I was talking about I guy I liked and said that I didn't care about anyone but myself. I don't want to just stop talking to her but I don't consider her my best friend anymore and My mom dosent like her at all. Do I carry on with knowing my best friend is and leting the other girl believe what she wants to spare her feelings?? HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hey girlie, she sounds like the kind of girl who likes to cause trouble so it's probably best to stay on her good side. Just be friendly with her and keep your real best friend by your side. 

 

 


Lauren T.

report

by ladyinlike on 9/23/2012 6:59:50 PM

 
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