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ADVICE | FRIENDS

23 Comments | Add Yours

Copycat alert! Help your friend find her own style

 

Check these out, too...

  • My friend sulks if I do better in school than her. Help!
  • 3 times it's OK to tell your bestie's secret
  • Girl Code: Is it OK to date your BFF's crush?
  • My best gal is branching out...and I'm not OK with it
Your friend is always joining the same clubs and doing everything that you do. You like her, of course, but you’re tired of seeing her every second of every day. So how do you get your pal to work on her own style this year?

 

 

Do: Build Her Up

Encourage your bestie to pursue her interests, mainly the ones that don’t line up with yours. Maybe she just isn’t confident enough to break into a new club on her own, and she needs your support to gather up the courage. So tell her how great her artwork is, or how smart she is. Then point out that she could really use those talents by joining the National Art Honor Society or the Quizbowl. Hopefully she’ll take the hint and give ‘em a chance.

 

Don’t: Take the Escape Route

The worst thing you can do to your shadow BFF is to quit a club after she joins. She’ll probably put 2 and 2 together, and realize that you’re trying to avoid her. And that’ll cause some major heartbreak. So even if she joins your newest club, too, don’t back out. Try to find your own friends within the club and to enjoy the new experience.

 

Do: Make Some Introductions

Try introducing your pal to some new people in the clubs that you guys have joined. Maybe they’ll have different interests than you that’ll capture her attention. And if not, at least she’ll have some other people to hang out with when that club meets, which means you can finally have a few minutes to yourself.

 

Don’t: Join to Join

It is definitely not cool to join a club that you’re not interested in at all just because you know your bestie would never follow you there. You’ll end up regretting it when you’re bored to tears in the meetings and have nothing in common with the other members. So don’t change your personality just because your pal is copying it – you had it first, and you deserve to keep it.

 

Do: Talk It Out

This one you’ve gotta be careful with because you can’t just accuse your BFF of totally copying you. Instead, try asking her what got her interested in the club, and if she doesn’t have a good answer, you can then steer her toward another activity that might be more up her alley. Maybe your questions will get her thinking about her real motives for joining, and she’ll take the hint that you don’t need a living, breathing shadow.

 

So chickies, what do you do when you’ve had a li’l too much together-time with your BFF?
 
 

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BY CARRIE RUPPERT ON 9/8/2012 11:09:00 AM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, good friend, bad friend, dealing with jealousy, how can I help my friend, copycat, dealing with competition

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23 Comments | Add Yours
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Mod!
My BFF needs my help because of her so called friend found out every thing about her and where she lives and now following her every where! Plz help me help her! Thnx lots!

Hey girl,

If your friend is worried for her safety, she needs to speak with a trusted adult (parent, teacher, guidance counselor, etc.) asap! Try going places with her so she won't have to be alone, and please, please, please encourage her to talk to her parents asap if someone is following her. An adult needs to know about this to help her!

Meghan D.

report

by Imdoodlebug on 9/8/2012 11:04:52 PM

 
 

MOD MOD
ok so i was wondering if you knew any places that girls my age- 13 and up could volunteer and maybe even get some money?! Thanks Smile

Hey girl,

Here's a great post with some volunteer ideas, and you could also check your local library, animal shelter or assisted living home to see if they had volunteer opportunities. The point of volunteering is that it isn't paid, but you could ask local restaurants and grocery stores if they would hire someone your age for a part-time job. http://www.girlslife.com/post/2012/07/13/8-ways-to-volunteer-youve-never-thought-of.aspx

Meghan D.

report

by uniquester on 9/8/2012 10:58:35 PM

 
 

Hey girls! I just started a new club called, "I'm Sorry." The title really does explain all. I already have four awesome members! I also check on it daily so you won't feel abandoned! Come join!

report

by Gabriella123 on 9/8/2012 9:31:03 PM

 
 

NEED ADVICE FAST? Check out my advice queen page! I don't hav a lot of fans, so it would mean a lot! Thanks <3

report

by myfatsquirrel on 9/8/2012 6:20:06 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I have this "friend". She has a nice heart, but she can be really annoying. I don't want to hurt her feelings (she doesn't have many friends), but I don't want to hang out with her so much. It's hard, because we are both on the soccer team, and live near each other. And, oh yeah, we kinda carpool! Please help!

 

Hey! You have to be careful, since you see her so much. I think the next time she annoys you, gently tell her what bothers you. You don't have to be mean, just honest. it'll help your friendship in the long run. 


Helen S.

report

by AlwaysDreamer on 9/8/2012 3:37:08 PM

 
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