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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

29 Comments | Add Yours

What to do if you think a friend needs help

 

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It’s easy to pretend that everything is all right—for you, for your family, for your friends. But sometimes, it’s just not, and that’s when its time to seek support, or offer it.

 

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. More people die from suicide than from war and murder combined, and many of the people who commit suicide do so because they think they don’t have another option, or because they think no one else will care. But there are always other options, and there is always someone, many someones, who care. Take five minutes today to get involved and become informed. Here’s how:

 

What should I be looking for?

The National Council for Suicide Prevention urges you to take immediate action when you see someone (or if you yourself are) exhibiting the signs for suicide. You might promise a friend never to tell a parent or teacher about her problems, but if the choice is between keeping your promise and saving her life, saving her life should always be your top priority.

 

Signs to look for include hopelessness, recklessness, uncontrolled anger, withdrawing from friends and activities, anxiety, dramatic mood changes, feeling like there’s no way out and increased alcohol or drug use. If a friend is threatening to hurt or kill herself, or begins looking for ways to hurt or kill herself, call 911 or ask for immediate assistance from a mental health provider, or someone like a guidance counselor or school nurse. If a friend who normally doesn’t write or talk about death, dying or suicide begins doing so, ask for help from a professional.

                                                                                                                

How can I help?

Aiding a friend, family member or even an acquaintance who is severely depressed or potentially suicidal is difficult and requires you to be patient. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to listen and show that you care. Be available to talk, and talk openly. Ask hard questions, like if they are contemplating suicide. Be aware of how they’re doing on a day-to-day basis so you can tell when circumstances are getting better and if they become worse.

 

Don’t judge; instead, let them talk openly about their feelings. Don’t feel like you need to give advice or try to solve their problems. And don’t think you can’t talk to someone about your experience as you try to help a friend. It’s important that you stick with your friend as long as you can, but these issues and emotions are hard to deal with. Talking to someone else confidentially can help you come to terms with how you’re feeling about your friend.

 

For more tips and resources, please visit the NCSP’s website here. 

 

What can I do right now?

If you or a friend needs help right now, call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The call is absolutely free and will not appear on your phone bill, and the line is staffed 24/7/365 by trained counselors at crisis centers near you. These counselors can also refer you to local mental health professionals. Here’s how the call works: When you dial the number, you’ll hear a recording telling you that you’ve reached the Lifeline. You’ll hear music while your call is routed to a crisis center near you and then, a trained counselor will get on the line to talk with you for as long as you need.

 

To spread awareness and show your support, put a candle in your window tonight and light it at 8 p.m. You’ll be joining thousands of people who are uniting to prevent suicide. For more details and to show your support on social media, visit facebook.com/take5tosavelives.

 
 

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BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 9/10/2012 3:10:00 PM

POSTED IN life, cutting, dealing with depression, dealing with tragedy, sexuality, identity, addiction

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MOD MOD MOD
Okay so here is the deal I have been really depressed since as long as I can remember, it is because of my many insecuritys. I have been cutting the side of my stomach for about a month, I need help, it is getting deeper and more addicting. Only my boyfriend knows about it and he has also tried to committ suicide multiple times. It just feels like sometimes I can't handle life. I am 13 I barely wiegh 80 pounds my boyfriend sometimes has to force me to eat at lunch because i want to starve myself. I guess what i'm trying to say is, my life is in shambles and i want to turn it around somehow but I don't know how.

 

Hey kennaroo623, know that you are worthy and deserve a wonderful life. Look at all the reasons you're cutting yourself. Then make a list of all the good things about you. Make a list of 10-20 things and this can include anything, even the way you make cereal. Read the list to yourself everyday until you start to feel better. Do you have a school counselor you can talk to? Set a meeting and confess how you're feeling and they may be able to help you. You can always talk to me too girl. Leave a message on my page and I'll be sure to get back to you. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

report

by kennaroo623 on 11/22/2012 9:49:10 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
okay i need help about my friend.....shes been really depressed lately and idk what to do....im the only one she talks to about it and i absolutly HATE seeing her like this! in science the other day..we were discussing cancer and afterwards, she said she wishes she had it so that she could die and no one would stare at her anymore! i try talking to her but its like shes not even hearing me! shes a beautiful person inside and out and i REALLY dont want her to make any decisions she'll regret....or worse......what should i do? please helpCryCry

 

hey! Your friend is exhibiting warning signs of depression or worse, thoughts of suicide. Whenever she says stuff like she wishes she could die, that's a clear cry for help. It means she's feeling worthless and she wants someone to step in and give her some support. Please tell your school's guidance counselor or a teacher about what your friend has said. They need to be able to keep an eye on the situation and offer your friend the help she needs. There are also hotlines you or your friend can call for support if she doesn't want to talk to anyone at school. here they are: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx 


Helen S.

report

by katiegurll;) on 11/3/2012 8:08:16 AM

 
 



MODMODMOD  

 

Hey girlie, it sounds like pill that you took should have taken care of it as long as you took it within 72 hours. So hopefully your chances are slim. But it never hurts to take the test just in case. Good luck! 


Lauren T.

report

by runlover on 10/14/2012 8:44:05 PM

 
 


MOD MOD MOD
I'm used to getting discharge and everything but lately it's been a brownish-red. Is this my period? And if it is, I have no interest in telling my mom, but she doesn't use tampons and I probably will. How can I get them discreetly?




Hannah H.

report

by angelicjade on 10/11/2012 4:30:49 PM

 
 


MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. About 2 years ago a friend of mine xxxxxxxx. I thought about it sometimes but all the flashbacks and stuff stopped after about a week. I wasn't really affected by it after that. For the past couple weeks I've had dreams about it. One of my favorite shows is Law and Order:SVU. I watch it all the time. An episode came on where 1 of the detectives had a flashback to her assault. I had seen that episode a million times and it never affected me like this. I had a really bad flashback and a dream about it that night. . And it just started about a week after I was diagnosed with cancer. Why is this happening? It hasn't bothered me in 2 years!




Hannah H.

report

by Snickie on 10/11/2012 4:14:41 PM

 
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