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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

29 Comments | Add Yours

What to do if you think a friend needs help

 

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It’s easy to pretend that everything is all right—for you, for your family, for your friends. But sometimes, it’s just not, and that’s when its time to seek support, or offer it.

 

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. More people die from suicide than from war and murder combined, and many of the people who commit suicide do so because they think they don’t have another option, or because they think no one else will care. But there are always other options, and there is always someone, many someones, who care. Take five minutes today to get involved and become informed. Here’s how:

 

What should I be looking for?

The National Council for Suicide Prevention urges you to take immediate action when you see someone (or if you yourself are) exhibiting the signs for suicide. You might promise a friend never to tell a parent or teacher about her problems, but if the choice is between keeping your promise and saving her life, saving her life should always be your top priority.

 

Signs to look for include hopelessness, recklessness, uncontrolled anger, withdrawing from friends and activities, anxiety, dramatic mood changes, feeling like there’s no way out and increased alcohol or drug use. If a friend is threatening to hurt or kill herself, or begins looking for ways to hurt or kill herself, call 911 or ask for immediate assistance from a mental health provider, or someone like a guidance counselor or school nurse. If a friend who normally doesn’t write or talk about death, dying or suicide begins doing so, ask for help from a professional.

                                                                                                                

How can I help?

Aiding a friend, family member or even an acquaintance who is severely depressed or potentially suicidal is difficult and requires you to be patient. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to listen and show that you care. Be available to talk, and talk openly. Ask hard questions, like if they are contemplating suicide. Be aware of how they’re doing on a day-to-day basis so you can tell when circumstances are getting better and if they become worse.

 

Don’t judge; instead, let them talk openly about their feelings. Don’t feel like you need to give advice or try to solve their problems. And don’t think you can’t talk to someone about your experience as you try to help a friend. It’s important that you stick with your friend as long as you can, but these issues and emotions are hard to deal with. Talking to someone else confidentially can help you come to terms with how you’re feeling about your friend.

 

For more tips and resources, please visit the NCSP’s website here. 

 

What can I do right now?

If you or a friend needs help right now, call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The call is absolutely free and will not appear on your phone bill, and the line is staffed 24/7/365 by trained counselors at crisis centers near you. These counselors can also refer you to local mental health professionals. Here’s how the call works: When you dial the number, you’ll hear a recording telling you that you’ve reached the Lifeline. You’ll hear music while your call is routed to a crisis center near you and then, a trained counselor will get on the line to talk with you for as long as you need.

 

To spread awareness and show your support, put a candle in your window tonight and light it at 8 p.m. You’ll be joining thousands of people who are uniting to prevent suicide. For more details and to show your support on social media, visit facebook.com/take5tosavelives.

 
 

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BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 9/10/2012 3:10:00 PM

POSTED IN life, cutting, dealing with depression, dealing with tragedy, sexuality, identity, addiction

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MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. About 2 years ago a friend of mine sexually assaulted me. He tried to make me have sex with him. I never really thought much of it because he didn't actually rape me. I thought about it sometimes but all the flashbacks and stuff stopped after about a week. I wasn't really affected by it after that. For the past couple weeks I've had dreams about it. One of my favorite shows is Law and Order:SVU. I watch it all the time. An episode came on where 1 of the detectives had a flashback to her assault. I had seen that episode a million times and it never affected me like this. I had a really bad flashback and a dream about it that night. He didn't rape me so I don't know why this is happening. And it just started about a week after I was diagnosed with cancer. Why is this happening? It hasn't bothered me in 2 years!




Hannah H.

report

by Snickie on 10/11/2012 4:01:38 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
There is a guy i really really love and i think he might ask me out. The thing is i cant date and i dont want to break his beatifully amazing heart by saying no. My parents are jaimaician and very strict so if i ask them they will say that im trying to grow up to fast and that im only 10 so i cant be in love. But i feel like he is the one for me. Im even hiding my crush on him from them. PLEASE, PLEASE,PLEASE HELP ME. Also the mods never answer my post please answer this one.

 

Hey girl,

If you really feel as strongly as you say you do about this guy, then kudos to you! It's very rare to find something like that at your age, but let's think about this for a minute. Can you understand where your parents are coming from? I know it may seem like they're be unfair but they're only look out for you. In your mind you're old enough to start dating, but to them you're still they're 10-year-old little girl. Does that make sense? It's tough, but you have to realize that you have your whole life to feel as much love as you wish to and if you truly do love this boy, you shouldn't worry about your feelings changing over time and neither should he. xoxo 


Alexis G.

report

by hgrules on 10/4/2012 7:10:10 AM

 
 



Mod Mod Mod!
Every time my family does something fun and we come home, I get really sad. They call it post vacation let-down. I usually get over it within a week, but its a really rotten feeling. Any ideas on what I can do to forget about it?

 

Hey baileymoose, start bringing home things from your vacation. Maybe a keychain, t-shirt or mug, so the fun of the vacation is always with you. Hope this helps! Xoxo 


Lynae P.

report

by baileymoose on 9/23/2012 12:33:40 PM

 
 



Mod
now that im in middle school and in 7th grade, im not bullied so much, unless you take annoying guys who try to get on your nerves to the point where you yell at them as bullying. but i've also had my fair share of bullying all through out elementry school and some of 6th grade i've been bullied verbally, and i've been hit on perpose befor. But sometimes, its kind of hard to forget about somthing like being bullied, i remember one time a HUGE group of kids had ganged up on me, i had just been walking around playing alone, since im very shy and weird. well they started making fun of me, i got angry and yelled at them to go away, they just laughed and started throwing stuff at me, dirt, weeds, grass, i tried to get away, there were about atleast 10 kids, i tried to run but i couldnt, all i did was hold a rock and they twisted the story to where i was threatining to hit them with the rock. I got in trouble, and they got off the hook.




Hey girl, that's awful! I know it's rough, but I think the best thing you can do is know you're wonderful and put that icky past behind you. Tomorrow is another day. If you ever get bullied like that again though, don't hesitate to tell a teacher or adult. You should not have to deal with that, especially alone.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

report

by lilacmoonstream on 9/17/2012 7:55:18 PM

 
 


MOD MOD MOD MOD
my friend spends a lot of time online, on tumblr mostly. she met some guy who says he is 16 and addicted to drugs, smokes, and has lung cancer. she is "going out" with this guy on the internet. i've tried telling her that he could be a child molester and everything, but she says she really likes him. what should i do? is there any way to help her without telling an adult?




Hannah H.

report

by yesnohellogoodbye on 9/13/2012 4:40:02 PM

 
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