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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

29 Comments | Add Yours

What to do if you think a friend needs help

 

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It’s easy to pretend that everything is all right—for you, for your family, for your friends. But sometimes, it’s just not, and that’s when its time to seek support, or offer it.

 

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. More people die from suicide than from war and murder combined, and many of the people who commit suicide do so because they think they don’t have another option, or because they think no one else will care. But there are always other options, and there is always someone, many someones, who care. Take five minutes today to get involved and become informed. Here’s how:

 

What should I be looking for?

The National Council for Suicide Prevention urges you to take immediate action when you see someone (or if you yourself are) exhibiting the signs for suicide. You might promise a friend never to tell a parent or teacher about her problems, but if the choice is between keeping your promise and saving her life, saving her life should always be your top priority.

 

Signs to look for include hopelessness, recklessness, uncontrolled anger, withdrawing from friends and activities, anxiety, dramatic mood changes, feeling like there’s no way out and increased alcohol or drug use. If a friend is threatening to hurt or kill herself, or begins looking for ways to hurt or kill herself, call 911 or ask for immediate assistance from a mental health provider, or someone like a guidance counselor or school nurse. If a friend who normally doesn’t write or talk about death, dying or suicide begins doing so, ask for help from a professional.

                                                                                                                

How can I help?

Aiding a friend, family member or even an acquaintance who is severely depressed or potentially suicidal is difficult and requires you to be patient. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to listen and show that you care. Be available to talk, and talk openly. Ask hard questions, like if they are contemplating suicide. Be aware of how they’re doing on a day-to-day basis so you can tell when circumstances are getting better and if they become worse.

 

Don’t judge; instead, let them talk openly about their feelings. Don’t feel like you need to give advice or try to solve their problems. And don’t think you can’t talk to someone about your experience as you try to help a friend. It’s important that you stick with your friend as long as you can, but these issues and emotions are hard to deal with. Talking to someone else confidentially can help you come to terms with how you’re feeling about your friend.

 

For more tips and resources, please visit the NCSP’s website here. 

 

What can I do right now?

If you or a friend needs help right now, call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The call is absolutely free and will not appear on your phone bill, and the line is staffed 24/7/365 by trained counselors at crisis centers near you. These counselors can also refer you to local mental health professionals. Here’s how the call works: When you dial the number, you’ll hear a recording telling you that you’ve reached the Lifeline. You’ll hear music while your call is routed to a crisis center near you and then, a trained counselor will get on the line to talk with you for as long as you need.

 

To spread awareness and show your support, put a candle in your window tonight and light it at 8 p.m. You’ll be joining thousands of people who are uniting to prevent suicide. For more details and to show your support on social media, visit facebook.com/take5tosavelives.

 
 

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BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 9/10/2012 3:10:00 PM

POSTED IN life, cutting, dealing with depression, dealing with tragedy, sexuality, identity, addiction

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29 Comments | Add Yours
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My brother tried to commit suicide 3 years ago but luckily it failed he turned his life around and is taking classes a tai kwon doe or karate that his therapist recommended he also has a son that is 8 years old. My neighbor just committed suicide a couple months sgo snd succeeded this time unfortuantly i miss him
R.I.P Jay i we miss you
#Jay'sDream

report

by jazmine ann on 9/11/2012 7:04:27 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
school has started it's been about 3 weeks now. I have no classes with me old close friends, and now I don't even have a close friend. I have no clique or a core group of friends. I am super fun and sweet out going, and not be conceited but a cute sophomore. Last year I was sorta cool, now I am a noone. I eat with the nerdy kids that are quiet, but I was always nice to. I feel I can't be myself near them, because i'm loud, and I crack jokes that are funny but they wouldn't get. If I didn't have them though I would eat lunch with no one. I'm alone, I don't want to eat lunch in the bathroom. I don't really mind eating lunch by myself, but I would like to have a core group of friends to eat lunch with. help please. I try making new friends, but they end up just being friends, not really like me no one is similar to me and I don't have a bff where I hang out with them 24/7 and we do stuff together. help




Hey girl, that's totally OK that you don't have a BFF. I'd try sitting with different people and just getting to know a variety. Maybe you aren't meant to find people exactly like you — you're too busy being one of a kind and being friends with everyone. Look beyond cliques and just give people a chance in general. You'll find the ones you connect most with will become the group you're looking for, even if they all aren't friends with each other.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

report

by andsothelionfellinlovewiththelamb on 9/10/2012 8:43:20 PM

 
 

In the comments I read alot about cutting and I know I'm not a mod and I don't cut but for girls that do try something called the butterfly project.. Here is how it works if you cut try drawing a butterfly on your wrists and if you cut you have killed it. If you don't it lives and no washing it off,that kills it as well.. Try going this everytime you have the urge.. I really hope all the cutters out there get better and stop cutting. <3<3<3 lots of love
-bri <3

report

by XxBriXD on 9/10/2012 8:39:10 PM

 
 

Hey girls!
Need advice about absolutely anything? Got a prob you're embarrassed to go to other people about? Feeling the need to vent about the awful day you just had or anything else and always get a supportive response? That's what I'm here for I absolutely love helping you all by giving top notch advice on any subject under the sun. Seriously ask me about anything....I mean the worst I can say is that I can't answer your question right?! I promise not to judge you and to give each question my undivided attention and thought.
I also give you my honest word that I will never tell you what you want to hear and instead will always tell you the truth and my HONEST opinion about everything.

So if you need advice (or just want a friend to talk too...I <3 meeting new people on here it's SO fun!!) don't hesitate to comment on my profile...it's just a click away<3

xoxo,
maggie183<3

report

by maggie183 on 9/10/2012 8:24:09 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I used to cut but then I stopped because I realized it just wasn't worth it. Whenever I have a bad day I just tell myself what my favorite teacher told me, its not going to last forever. Well theres this girl in my grade I tried telling her what my teacher told me but she wont listen. She cuts, she's been to a mental center for help she even wrote on her wrist "Don't eat!" and cut herself around it. Were not friends just acquiescent. But I've been down that road and don't want anybody to suffer like I did.
How can I help?




Hey girl, tell your guidance counselor or an adult. It's always you want to help, but at this point, it's going to take more than just words of encouragement for this girl. She's going to need a little more help getting on the right path, but she'll thank you someday for being the person who helped directed her to it by helping her seek help. Keep shining, girl!

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

report

by hinatagal on 9/10/2012 8:16:58 PM

 
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