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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

29 Comments | Add Yours

What to do if you think a friend needs help

 

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It’s easy to pretend that everything is all right—for you, for your family, for your friends. But sometimes, it’s just not, and that’s when its time to seek support, or offer it.

 

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. More people die from suicide than from war and murder combined, and many of the people who commit suicide do so because they think they don’t have another option, or because they think no one else will care. But there are always other options, and there is always someone, many someones, who care. Take five minutes today to get involved and become informed. Here’s how:

 

What should I be looking for?

The National Council for Suicide Prevention urges you to take immediate action when you see someone (or if you yourself are) exhibiting the signs for suicide. You might promise a friend never to tell a parent or teacher about her problems, but if the choice is between keeping your promise and saving her life, saving her life should always be your top priority.

 

Signs to look for include hopelessness, recklessness, uncontrolled anger, withdrawing from friends and activities, anxiety, dramatic mood changes, feeling like there’s no way out and increased alcohol or drug use. If a friend is threatening to hurt or kill herself, or begins looking for ways to hurt or kill herself, call 911 or ask for immediate assistance from a mental health provider, or someone like a guidance counselor or school nurse. If a friend who normally doesn’t write or talk about death, dying or suicide begins doing so, ask for help from a professional.

                                                                                                                

How can I help?

Aiding a friend, family member or even an acquaintance who is severely depressed or potentially suicidal is difficult and requires you to be patient. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to listen and show that you care. Be available to talk, and talk openly. Ask hard questions, like if they are contemplating suicide. Be aware of how they’re doing on a day-to-day basis so you can tell when circumstances are getting better and if they become worse.

 

Don’t judge; instead, let them talk openly about their feelings. Don’t feel like you need to give advice or try to solve their problems. And don’t think you can’t talk to someone about your experience as you try to help a friend. It’s important that you stick with your friend as long as you can, but these issues and emotions are hard to deal with. Talking to someone else confidentially can help you come to terms with how you’re feeling about your friend.

 

For more tips and resources, please visit the NCSP’s website here. 

 

What can I do right now?

If you or a friend needs help right now, call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The call is absolutely free and will not appear on your phone bill, and the line is staffed 24/7/365 by trained counselors at crisis centers near you. These counselors can also refer you to local mental health professionals. Here’s how the call works: When you dial the number, you’ll hear a recording telling you that you’ve reached the Lifeline. You’ll hear music while your call is routed to a crisis center near you and then, a trained counselor will get on the line to talk with you for as long as you need.

 

To spread awareness and show your support, put a candle in your window tonight and light it at 8 p.m. You’ll be joining thousands of people who are uniting to prevent suicide. For more details and to show your support on social media, visit facebook.com/take5tosavelives.

 
 

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BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 9/10/2012 3:10:00 PM

POSTED IN life, cutting, dealing with depression, dealing with tragedy, sexuality, identity, addiction

< PREVIOUS   NEXT >   

Previous123456Show All
29 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 


Hey girl, unfortunately in this case, there's only so much you can do. You're taking a great first step by letting her know you care. Let her know if she ever needs to talk you're there for her and actively check on her yourself every once in a while. If she starts to sound negative, a) try to spin her thoughts so they're positive and b) warn her 'rents. Talk to your 'rents about this too — this is really heavy stuff no one, regardless what his or her age is, should go through alone. Best of luck and just keep being a good friend to her. xoxo
Alyssa B.

report

by svds on 9/10/2012 6:07:34 PM

 
 

I knew a woman who my dad cleaned for who committed suicide. we weren't all that close, but she gave me a lot of stuff, and we had a lot in common. her death shook me up a lot. I just feel so bad for the people thinking it's the only way out BECAUSE IT'S NOT. there are people who want to help,and God will help you if you pray to Him!!! suicide is selfish, and life is to precious for you to end.

report

by Kstar101 on 9/10/2012 4:54:54 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!
hi, so I have a friend that I've had in my classes a couple times before, we aren't super close at all, but we talk sometimes. Well she wears black a lot and she has lines on her wrists. I'm not sure if they are cuts or if she was just leaning on something and got red lines there. I don't know if I should be concerned or not. She's really nice and she seems semi happy but I do know that she is really close to 2 little kids who have serious health issues. Help??

 

Hey girly, your a great friend for being so concerned. I think you'll find the resources you need here:  http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx

If you still need help, check back with us.  Wishing you and your friend the best!

Lauren I.

report

by kpianoplayer on 9/10/2012 4:21:36 PM

 
 

Me and my friends all wrote LOVE on the back of our hands for today. I am in Middle School but last year a girl at our high school committed suicide. I am going to tell all of my friends about the candle thing.

LOVE THE WORLD AND LOVE THE PEOPLE IN IT <3

report

by turnonthemusic1 on 9/10/2012 3:46:52 PM

 
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