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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

How to turn him down (without crushing his heart)


 
This kinda geeky guy is obsessed with me. He gives me compliments and presents, and tells me how much I mean to him. It’s flattering but sort of creepy. I don’t like him, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings.


Dear Someone Get This Guy A Hobby,

I admire you for not wanting to hurt him, but your feelings are important too. If you think you’re being stalked, tell an adult. But if his attentions are more bothersome than threatening, be a little less friendly and avoid running into him. He offers you another gift? Say, “I don’t feel comfortable accepting this because I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.” Be sure you aren’t giving him confusing signals. It might ultimately be kinder to act lukewarm or aloof rather than polite and friendly. Age-old trick: Tell him about a new crush or boyfriend.
 
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 9/12/2012 11:00:00 AM

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**MOD MOD MOD**
i need help with a guy. he is a junior and im a senior. but that doesnt matter to me. lately we have been having a thing. i walk him to class and we say bye and kiss. i like it, but idk if i like him... & i really dont want to lead him on to something more serious since i dont know if i want anything more serious. what should i do ?!?!?!?!

 

Hey peace-love, make it clear to him you don't want it to go any further. Refer to him as "friend" and "pal" in conversations so he knows how you feel. Maybe stop kissing him to keep it on a friendly level. Hope this helps! Xoxo 


Lynae P.

by peace-love on 11/29/2012 6:58:30 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!! HELP
This guy has been completely in love with me for the pas year and a half, but i dont like him at all. Lately he has been all over me, like grabbing my should or throwing his arm around me. I try to shrug him off and when i see him across the hallway, i turn around and go the other way but that hasnt been helping. What should i do to get him off me but not be too mean???!!!

 

Hey girlie, that's a tricky situation. Just keep trying what you've been doing. If you keep doing it he should get the hint. If not, tell him gently that it makes you uncomfortable and you would rather he didn't do that. 


Lauren T.

by DogLov3r on 11/11/2012 6:45:06 PM

 
 

Okay, so I am a Junior in high school, and I have never been kissed! I feel so left out because all of my friends have been, and I am the only one... I don't know what to do.

by buckeyebabe27 on 11/7/2012 10:10:35 PM

 
 

My BFF's family and my family are really close. Our moms have known eachother for FOREVER, so when they moved here, I was really excited. My BFF is two years older than me, and even though it sounds weird that we're so different in age, its cool that we can see things from different age perspectives. Anyway, I totally love her, but her lil bro is my age and he's had a crush on me since (as my mom claims) he was born (I'm three months older than him). He's been doing a lot better-he used to come up to my room and ask me out when they came over, he'd google me and all this creepy stuff-but now instead of being creepy, he's just mean. He constantly tells my crush that Im obsessed with him and it's really embarrassing. I told my mom and she said that my crush shouldnt care if he likes me back. When he found out I liked him, he said he took it as a compliment, but im still worried that my BFFs lil bro is going to ruin the really good friendship between my crush and I. HELP!

by WashingtonGirlie13 on 11/5/2012 4:40:24 PM

 
 

You should just sit down with him and tell him you think its not working

by Kiandra123 on 10/20/2012 10:59:01 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!! MOD MOD MOD!!
lately me and my ex have gotten really close as friends this year and now he is like my brother and best guy friend and i really like how our relationship is now, but yesterday he told me that he liked (like like) me and wanted me back and i told him that i didnt want to ruin our friendship, and he said he understood. but now whenever i try to talk to him on facebook, he ignores me! im not sure why, but i still do want to be good friends with him and im also scared it will be awkward when i see him at school tomorrow! ): help?

 

Hey Kattrox421, he is probably hurt you don't feel the same. While he said he understood he was most likely sad and disappointed. If it is awkward, I think you should just give him some time to get over this. He might need a little space to get over the fact you don't like him. Hope this helps! Xoxo 


Lynae P.

by Kattrox421 on 9/30/2012 10:59:01 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!
There's this boy in my class at school who's liked me since 1st grade. I thought he'd have given up by now, but he's ask me out 5 times in the past year! I tried telling him I didn't like him that way but it didn't work! And now it's just getting out of hand. He's telling guys not to hang out with me because I'm "his" and I'm not, and everytime a boy comes too close to me or flirts with me, he LITERALLY GROWLS at them!!!!!!!! How do I get this to stop??????

 

Wow, that has to be really annoying and uncomfortable!  It sounds like you're doing the right thing, by being up front about it.  Do you have any guy friends you can talk to about the sitch?  They would def have some perspective about what he's thinking and how to deal.  Otherwise, I think you just have to keep moving forward...and ignore him.  Eventually, he has to get the hint.  xoxo


Marie H.

by EllyKayy143 on 9/29/2012 10:10:22 AM

 
 

There's this guy at my school who is in sixth grade and he is the most annoying guy in the whole middle school, and he supposedly likes me. It's kinda obvious he's trying to flirt but I'm in eighth grade and it's just not going to happen. But for some reason it's like I keep thinking about him now that I know he likes me. Is it just cuz I know he likes me or am I starting to like him?

Hey girl,

If you consider him the most annoying guy at your school and say that it's "not going to happen," I would say that you are probably not starting to like him--you just don't know what to do because you don't want to be rude, which is a good thing! If he's not asking you out or telling you he likes you, you don't have to do anything, but if he does then just tell him you're not interested (but try to be nice about it). It's better to be honest than to lead him on!

Meghan D.

by Sunny79 on 9/28/2012 9:48:39 PM

 
 



MOD! I liked this guy for a while but I got over him like a week ago becuase it was clear he didn't like me. I started ignoring him and rolling my eyes at him when he looked at me and ever since he's been following me around and trying to talk to me. he'll stare at me and when I look over at him he'll smile and he asks me friends things about me. he's acting like he likes me. what should I do?

 

hey! If you're over him then just don't do anything, but if you still like him maybe you should ask him out Smile 


Helen S.

by ilovequotes on 9/22/2012 1:29:48 PM

 
 

Mod mod mod!! MOD! My parents say i cant date till like after college. But I want to date in middle school. How do I tell them that im old enough and ready to date thanks. Xoxoxo

 

Hey girly, try sitting down with your parents and calmly discussing it. Tell them what dating means to you, maybe they have a different idea of 'dating' than you do. Then, ask them what their concerns are and see if you can make a compromise. Maybe group dates would be okay? If they arn't willing to budge, it looks like you'll just have to wait a little longer. Try bringing up the subject again in highschool.

Lauren I.

by hgrules on 9/17/2012 7:55:38 AM

 
 

i found out my best guy friend likes me, hes in 8th grade and im in 7th. I sorta like him a little to. But i also like a guy whose in my grade, i like him alot. For my best guy friend its easy for me to be around him, and hes very funny and social (i dont like him because hes 'cute') But on the other hand, since im VERY VERY shy, around my other crush i can hardly say anything, i get butterflies, and for some reason i get this feeling in my chest whenever i look at him, hes also very shy, but hes also considerate, nice, silly, an AMAZING soccer player, and a straight A student. my friend says she's herd him talking about me to his best friend(aka: "lily looks pretty in blue" and "lily has a really beautiful voice") and i catch him looking at me alot. i like them both but idk which one to choose, who should i choose!

by lilja on 9/15/2012 5:18:21 PM

 
 



Mod mod mod mod mod mod mod
Okay so me and thisguy have been through everything together...he has liked me for five years aka since we met. I only lime him as a friend. And every year we are really hood friends at the beginning then he asks me out and we are awkward the rest of the year. I want him in my life, but not as a boyfriend. Any help? I have tried everything Frown thank you!

 

Hey girlie, tell him that. If you've been trying for five years and it isn't working out, it may not be a possibility. But be upfront with him this year and tell him that you don't like him in that way but you really want to continue to be good friends. 


Lauren T.

by cuddlebug143 on 9/15/2012 4:06:23 PM

 
 



MOD MOD!
SO there is this new guy at my school this year; he is in two of my classes (same grade) and he is really cute! He seems really shy but at the same time really funny and outgoing.. if that makes sense! He takes my bus to. What should I do to introduce myself to him?? And strike up a good convo but show interest in him...?
Thanks! xoxox




Hey girlie,

Sit next to him on the bus one afternoon! Just introduce yourself and ask him how he's liking school so far; you can probably find a ton of other things to talk about once you start the conversation! 
Alexis G.

by HorseGirl2998 on 9/13/2012 10:39:09 AM

 
 

Last year I became friends with this guy and then like a month or so later he asked me out, but I so didn't like him that way so I told him I just wanted to be friends. Then he asked later if I was sure and I said I just wanted to be friends again he still liked me but he stopped asking

by peetoes7 on 9/12/2012 9:47:34 PM

 
 

Thank you so much for this article!
This weird guy in my life is majorly crushing on me but I don't like him. I tried giving him a try, we went to the movies, but when he kissed me, we weren't caught up in any romantic moments. He literally asked me "Can we kiss? please?"
hahaha, that isn't going to work, dude. This really helped! (:

by IceCreamFan on 9/12/2012 7:05:35 PM

 
 

mod mod mod
What could you kindly say if a guy you didn't like back told you he liked you or asked you out? O.o



Hey babe,

I think your best bet is to let him down kindly.  It may be hard but leading them on because you're afraid of hurting them actually hurts them more.  Let him know that he's a great guy but that you have your eye set on somebody right now, or you're focused on school/sports/etc. and you don't want to date anyone right now. Jordan S.

by raininghippos on 9/12/2012 6:12:48 PM

 
 

Hey guys plz check out my profile and advice queen page i am very quick to respond and can give advice on anything can post on either pages i check every day

by jadarocks2401 on 9/12/2012 6:06:11 PM

 
 

That is kind of creepy, I had a guy obsessed with me that gave me cards and always tried to talk to me and I barely knew him. He ended up being harmless, we are now friends but I can still tell he wants more. Just tell him you arent interested.

by fashionqn on 9/12/2012 4:22:06 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
There is a guy my friend introduced me to last week because we have a lot in common. We sit together at lunch every day and talk to each other before school every day. I really like him but I don't know if he likes me. My friend always says how cute we would be together right in front of him and he pokes me in the side or puts his arm around me whenever she says that. What should I do now?

 

Hey babe! Awww, that's so great! I'm glad you two started as friends, and it sounds like you don't want to rush anything. You seem to be off to an amazing start. Just keep being yourself and see where things go! If he keeps flirting with you but doesn't make any definite moves, then you should thinking about making the first move to break the ice. But if you ask me, you'll make a move pretty soon Smile

xoxoxo


Katie L.

by awtechnofish on 9/12/2012 4:22:04 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
The guy I like is really popular and is never going to like me back (I know because I've liked him for over 3 years..since 8th grade and I'm a junior now). I've tried getting over him..I haven't succeeded. Idk why I CANT get over this one guy and still like him so much.
The fact that this is a pointless crush has been depressing me a lot lately...advice please?!?

 

Hey girl! I know how you're feeling. While crushes are fun, it can be really tough when they don't like you back. Especially when you've liked them for so long! At this point, your crush has in a way become a habit for you. The best way to break a bad habit is to occupy yourself with other activities. Maybe you could try a new sport or club, something you can throw all your attention to! Getting over a crush is similar to getting over a break up. It's going to take time, but you'll get there Smile


xoxo 


Katie L.

by maggie183 on 9/12/2012 2:58:12 PM

 
 


MOD MOD MOD
Hi i have a problem... I think my bf doesnt like me anymore! Frown He never texts me back and in classes he never sits next to me, he sits next to my best friend! In primary school they were good friends and were both in the lower group but they moved up in the higher group at the same time and their families are friends too. Last year we used to talk 24/7 and now we barely talk, and when we do other people are always around. Today my bf and I were waiting for our parents and he didnt talk to me! He talked to a teacher he doesnt have any classes with!! Help?

 

Hey girl, that sounds rough! Try and talk to your bf about how you're feeling. It sounds as if the two of you may be growing apart, and the best way to decide the next step in the relationship is by communicating. You say you think he doesn't like you anymore. Do you still like him? Some relationships don't last forever, and the two of you should decide if you want to continue dating or maybe take a break from each other. 

 

xoxo 

Katie L. Katie L.

by Maddie5321 on 9/12/2012 2:33:05 PM

 
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