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ADVICE | DEAR CAROL

Can't deal with my fam's foster kids anymore

 

 

My family does foster care. I used to get along find with the kids, but now I can’t. Our new foster kid is too hard to deal with. We started off on the wrong foot, and now she has a lot of attitude and is rude and mean. She lives in my home and calls my mom “Mom.” Whenever she makes me upset, I got to my room, turn off the lights, turn my radio up really loud and go in my closet and cry. I try to talk to my mom, but she doesn’t understand and doesn’t always let me tell my side of the story.

 

Dear Alone,

You come from a caring family, and you are a good person. Of course it’s hard for you to share your mom, especially when you’re at an age when you may need to talk to her more. Why not show your mom this letter? You can confess that you wrote it, or say that you sometimes feel this way. Some reassuring one-on-one time can make a real difference. I hope you can also try to befriend the troubled girl. Can you talk to your school counselor about your very understandable feelings.
 
 

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 9/15/2012 2:34:00 PM

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20 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 

Go over to that kid and spill your feelings out.

"Hey ______, I believe we have gotten off on the wrong foot. I really want to try to get along. Sometimes people are just not compatible but I believe we are capable of getting along. Want to start over?"
If that doesn't work say "My house, my rules." Put her in her place

If all else fails settle on a cold-war pact. Hate each other in silence and get on with your lives.


Don't let some kid be a fun-vampire. (Tong. Fun vampire. Just love the word.)

by kikidee11 on 11/21/2012 4:02:52 PM

 
 

you need to try to talk to her and tell her even though she may not listen and if she doesn't tell her in a letter or show this to her

by ergily on 11/17/2012 4:11:51 PM

 
 

i agree completely with wolfsrule43. it is okay to cry because if you keep all of that emotion botled up, then you are bound to explode at someone you really care about. in my case my brother and i are 12 years apart. i am 14 and he is almost 26. he moved out but wheneer he comes to visit we are going at eachother. but i quess this is just how we show our love. lol. good luck

by pupa413 on 10/1/2012 7:40:07 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Well last year I got interested in cooking so I started to make stuff on my own but it usually didn't turn out good. I took FACS last year but we only did about 6 cooking stations the whole year. This year, I want to join a cooking class but my parents say it's too expensive and that I should wait until I'm older to cook (I'm 13). How can I convince my parents to let me take cooking classes? Or is there another way for me to learn cooking(and baking)?

 

Hey genieinabottle, Youtube has a lot of cooking tutorials you could watch. Even going to the library and getting books on cooking will help too. Tune into the food network for tips from chefs. Hope this helps! Xoxo 


Lynae P.

by genieinabottle on 9/30/2012 10:33:48 AM

 
 


Hey girl, that's SO not true. So many people care about you! I would suggest try talking to a teacher or neighbor's parent who you really trust and who makes you feel good about yourself. You need support, so don't be afraid to keep reaching even if the people you're talking to just haven't made a difference yet. Keep hanging in there!

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by hinatagal on 9/24/2012 5:03:35 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
i took some depression quizs online and the all said i have moderate to severe depression.somthinng really trumatic happen to me earlyer this year. at the time i acted like it was no big deal. but now i feel nearvous all the time and have nightmers and cry for no reason. my mom just writes it off saying im about to start my period. i feel alone.

Hey girl,

It's really important that you should speak with a trusted adult asap!! If your mom won't talk to you, try talking to another family member or to a doctor or guidance counselor. You're not alone!! You need to sort things out by talking through your feelings with someone else, so please please please seek out a trusted adult!! For additional help, check out this post, which has links to hotlines where you can talk to a professional counselor anonymously! http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx

Meghan D.

by skigirl5o on 9/23/2012 12:57:45 AM

 
 

Wow. It's ok to cry sometimes. You and the foster kid are like me and my sis. We fight all the time but we still love each other. Smile

by wolfsrule43 on 9/17/2012 6:45:01 PM

 
 



MOd MOD MOD MOD
So i have two questions. 1) I really want to go to a different high school with more opportunities than the one closest to me but my parents think that the school i want to go to is bad. The close one isn't bad but i am in an advanced program and only one high school in our district carries that program. 2) I also really want to go to a summer camp in new york. it's where you go to a couple broadway shows a day then do work shops with the people in those shows for a week. But its really expensive. I want to do this trip between my junior and Sienor years but i want to make sure i could do this trip first before i start to save. How can i convice my parents to let me do both.

 

Hey favcolorgreen, you need to show your parents you are really serious about each. You could make a powerpoint for the school and the trip and present a list of reasons you want to do both. Have at least three really good ones for each. I think this will show your parents how dedicated you are. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

by favcolorgreen on 9/16/2012 10:46:08 PM

 
 



mod mod mod 

 

Hey girlie, that's something you'll want to talk to your doctors about if it gets to that point. It depends on the medication and the person. 


Lauren T.

by StrawberryPatchKid on 9/16/2012 7:43:30 PM

 
 



mod mod mod 

 

Hey girlie, sometimes the brain blocks out traumatic things. So it's totally normal to not remember all the details or even to not remember the event at all. Don't worry so much about losing your individuality. Just be yourself and stay true to yourself and you'll still be unique and different.  


Lauren T.

by StrawberryPatchKid on 9/16/2012 7:30:05 PM

 
 



mod mod mod 

 

Hey girlie, unless you've been diagnosed as such, you probably just have a different way of thinking. And it can definitely be a good thing! You don't want to be the same and think the same as everyone else. Be your own person and be proud of your differences. 


Lauren T.

by StrawberryPatchKid on 9/16/2012 7:15:28 PM

 
 



mod mod mod

 

Hey girlie, you aren't being selfish! Kids aren't for everyone, and you're young so you might change your mind about it when you get older. You're way too young to be worrying about grown up issues right now. Enjoy yourself without that responsibility and see if it becomes something that you decide you want or don't want in the future. I'm in my early 20s and even though I know that I want kids eventually, they are in no way something that I want now.


Lauren T.

by StrawberryPatchKid on 9/16/2012 7:12:21 PM

 
 



mod mod mod
whats your makeup look?

 

Hey girlie, personally I like to go lighter on the makeup. On a normal day I usually wear brown eyeliner on just the top lid, black mascara and a light layer of foundation, any cover up I need for blemishes and bronzer. I keep it more natural, but play up my eyes. 


Lauren T.

by StrawberryPatchKid on 9/16/2012 6:50:07 PM

 
 



mod mod mod 

 

Hey girlie, it sounds like you have quite the mix of style. The first half sounds like a retro, romantic sporty look and the rest sounds more punk rock. But having a diverse style isn't a bad thing, it just makes you unique! 


Lauren T.

by StrawberryPatchKid on 9/16/2012 6:47:53 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
How do i send in a Dear Carol?

Hey girl,

You can submit your message here! http://www.girlslife.com/contact.aspx?t=advice

Meghan D.

by GLis awesome on 9/15/2012 11:08:10 PM

 
 

Mod mod
im a good singer, my friends say im like an EXTREAMLY wicked great singer, and i really want to become a singer and my mom says "well sweetie pie, thats a one in a million chance" but i want to be, i REALLY want to be that one! i may only be 12 (almost 13, in just 3 months im 13) but i one of those kids with the really talented voice, the only weird part is i cant sing high, like girls, my singing voice is more low. (another question inside this question, my voice is getting lower, not higher. is that weird? i am going through puberty) Any ideas for me to pursue my dream?

Hey girl,

Plenty of girls sing alto, so that's not weird, and your mom is right, the chances are becoming slim of becoming a superstar, but that doesn't mean it can't happen! For now, start by singing locally, like in your school or church choir. Talk to your music teacher about what you can be doing now to perfect your voice and ask if they know any local opportunities for you to perform. If you start small you can work your way up to singing at great events!

Meghan D.

by lilacmoonstream on 9/15/2012 10:30:29 PM

 
 

modmodmod
ok so earlier today i was at my friends house and i was chasing her around,(long story lol) anyways i was wearing socks and i slipped and fell backwards and i think i bruised my tail bone. now it hurts whenever i bend over. but i don't think it's very serious, but is there a way i can help when i hurt? thanks!

Hey girl,

You could try using an ice pack or sitting on a pillow, but if it still hurts after a little while I would ask a parent or doc to check it out just to be safe!

Meghan D.

by sailaway11 on 9/15/2012 10:12:51 PM

 
 

mod mod mod whats some fun and educational activities?

Hey girl,

Check out our "Rock Your Weekend" page for TONS of activity ideas! http://www.girlslife.com/RockYourWeekend.aspx

Meghan D.

by StrawberryPatchKid on 9/15/2012 9:38:51 PM

 
 

Yeah. I've been in a situation like this before when I was younger.

by Gabriella123 on 9/15/2012 6:06:30 PM

 
 



MOD MOD
So I had a friend but we were always in a fight half the time. I kinda stopped talking to her gradually to to point where I talk to her only if needed. The problem is that she keeps trying to text me and stuff. Should I text her back? I really don't want her to think that were friends again.
THANK YOU GL!
Kaitie(:

 

Hey girlie, text her back. You might not want to be her best friend again, but you want to be civil. It's better to be friendly than mean to her. 


Lauren T.

by basketballover5 on 9/15/2012 3:34:17 PM

 
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