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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

Is it ever safe to meet an online crush IRL?


 
I’m 13 and have been sort of going with this guy for about three weeks. I met him online. My mom doesn’t know we are together, and I’m scared to tell her. My friends aren’t pleased, but I really like him. He might come to my hometown soon, and I want my friends to give him a chance. Help me!

Dear Scared,

Sometimes, fear is your friend. Even if you were twice your age, I’d have misgivings. It’s too easy to project your wishes and needs onto a mystery online guy. What makes you sure he’s even a teen? You could be e-mailing someone who’s a potential danger. Maybe you don’t want to confide in your mom because you know what she’ll say—and that she’d be right. If you’ve given this “boy” your address, tell an adult right away. Be glad you have sensible friends, and stop the e-mails. Many girls have flirted online with someone who turned out to be a creep—or a criminal.
 
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 9/19/2012 12:00:00 AM

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16 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD MOD MOD!
I am a freshman in high school and my best friend, Ben, and I are going to Homecoming together. We both like each other, but some of my friends are like, "He's so awkward. You can do better. He's a loser. He's totally gay." I can't shake those thoughts when I see him. What do I do?

 

Hey aleafofcool, you have to focus on what you think about him. Do you think he's awkward, a loser or gay? If not forget them and have fun with your friend. If you do then keep him as a friend. I know it can be hard to shake what others think of you and who you date, but remember they aren't you and they won't be there when it's just you and your date. Hope this helps! Xoxo 


Lynae P.

by aleafofcool on 10/4/2012 10:16:14 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Ok so I like this guy who is in 8th grade and im in 7th and we have locked eyes a couple times durring the only class whave together. On friday we had a dance for 7th and 8th graders. So my friends didnt know what he looked like so I pointed him out to them. And after that they stated going over next to him and staring at him. So I would pull my friends away from them so he wouldnt see, but I think that made it worst because I saw him looking at us, or at lease i think he was. So now I think he knows that I like him, and I dont no what to do I have school tomorrow and Im worried he will confrunt me or somthing, so I gust need to know wh to do. So please help me thanks.

 

Hey girlie, the best thing you can do is not worry about it. If he knows then he has the chance to tell you if he likes you too. And if he doesn't you're better off without him anyway. And he might not even have noticed your friends. Maybe he was looking at you because he's interested in you.


Lauren T.

by stephanie11110 on 9/23/2012 5:42:46 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Just today my friend confided in me that she has an internet bf. She has never met him in person and was saying how she wants to. I kind of gave her the friend speech about it not being the best idea. She also confided how they are both showing and doing things on skype for each other that are kind of (maybe very) inappropriate.
She tells me everything and showed me a picture, he is very cute. After the skype thing I didnt know what to say because I know there are a lot of people who do that. Also, should I tell her if she wants to meet him in person try to arrange it with her parents somehow?

Hey girl,

It sounds like you are doing the right thing, because this can be really dangerous for people who have never met in person! If she is planning on meeting him in person, she should definitely talk to her parents as you suggest so that they can be there and make sure everything's okay. If you are concerned for her safety, you can talk to a trusted adult like one of your parents or a guidance counselor about how to best handle the situation. You're a great friend for looking out for her!

Meghan D.

by fashionqn on 9/21/2012 9:59:46 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD I'm thinking of auditioning for a role my film club's big movie project. I'm only a freshman, and most of the people in my class are older (but there are a few fellow freshmen). I'm afraid that because I'm one of the younger ones, I might not get a part. Should I just back out or try anyways?

Hey girl,

You should definitely try if you want to be in the movie--the worst that can happen is that you try again next year! Even if you don't get cast as one of the leads, maybe you could still have a small role in the film. Good luck!!

Meghan D.

by PuppyCT on 9/21/2012 9:17:44 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
Just yesterday, I found a link where you can win these books and a bag. On GL!!! So I clicked on it and I promised myself I would enter tomorrow also. Problem is... I can't find it now!!! Can you help me???







is it this?




http://www.girlslife.com/post/2012/04/24/Win-a-summer-tote-filled-with-Unrequired-Reading.aspx?cp=all

 
mailyse f.

by sohi105 on 9/21/2012 3:33:28 PM

 
 





MOD MOD MOD
I like a guy in one of my classes. It seems like every time i turn i around in that class i see him(and he sees me..hehehe c: ) One day he turned my music on in the middle of class and then said "just kidding" (why do guys do that? Do something and then say just kidding I mean..) fortunately I didn't get in trouble. Another day he found and old quiz and started asking me the questions until the teacher said to sit down (it was totally chill and casual ha) and then the other day I was just standing and he scared me! I the. Proceeded to call him a name that shall not be said here...(I was smiling though...haha...) i see that he does stuff to everyone, but ive never seen him do these things to anyone else beside me. what does all this mean? Could he like me or am I just over thinking this completely? Thanks!

 

Hey laangelita23, I think he likes you. He is always talking and joking with you. Flirt back and show him the feeling is mutual. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

by laangelita23 on 9/20/2012 8:26:02 PM

 
 


MOD MOD MOD
So there's this guy in my homeroom (we only have homeroom once a week ) and I kinda have a bit of a crush on him. We've only talked a few times though. I caught him staring at me a few times during a football game and my friend said he was "checking me out" at a school gathering. But I'm not really sure and I'm kinda shy so what should I say to him or how could I get him to approach me? ThanksSmile




Hannah H.

by GrassFairy on 9/20/2012 5:02:04 PM

 
 

My friend met her boyfriend online four years ago. They live on opposite sides of the country, and have never met IRL. But they met in an online school, and they skype every day. Through skype, she's met a few of his sisters, and he's met her friends and her brother. I was iffy when she first told me about her "internet boyfriend," but this has turned out to be one of those cases where it truly is an honest, innocent online relationship.
Online relationships aren't always bad, provided you go about them the right way. If it's just someone you've been emailing for a few weeks, it could potentially be a danger.

by MadiBird on 9/20/2012 9:57:25 AM

 
 

In my opinion it isn't really dangerous to talk to people online. I go on this online penpal website and talk to girls from around the world . But where you have to draw the line is sharing personal info. I just share totally general stuff, like the weather or your school, or boys or WHATEVER, just don't tell specifics!!!!! That is where you draw the line!

by Glitterheart16 on 9/19/2012 9:05:38 PM

 
 

ooooooh, I don't know girl. Online people can be creeeeeps!!! Especially if you have a crush on them! Careful now!!

by Gabriella123 on 9/19/2012 8:45:07 PM

 
 

I don't think it's ever safe..just my opinion. Then again if I HAD an online crush I probably would be saying that it is..knowing me :/ lol

by maggie183 on 9/19/2012 7:08:38 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD !
hi, so i'm in seventh grade. i REALLY like this guy, and he's in eighth grade. he followed me on instagram first, then he texted me. any advice on how to spark up conversations, or how to flirt a little? do i have a chance at an "older guy"? thank you.<3

 

Hey girl! Of course you have a chance. He seems interested already! Try and keep most of your conversations IRL, and when you do talk over text, leave the conversation first. It sounds weird, but it'll keep him wanting more. You've gotta maintain some mystery, chica!

xoxoxo 


Katie L.

by rosierosie on 9/19/2012 4:44:38 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
ok from my previous story i told u what happened about him confronting me and me running away my friend saying my name ect. Well today on the bus the same girl i told her to ask him says if i dont stop avoiding him she's gonna tell him that i like him but im afraid if i hang out with him he'll find out somehow laugh at me and that he will make fun of me. I told her if she tells him i will kill her and she said really and i said no but i'll be REALLY mad. I tried to make her swear but she didnt. What should I do?! I need this by the end of tonight!!

 

Hey girl! I have a feeling he may already know you like him. You tried stopping this girl from telling him, but you can't make anyone do anything. You are only in control of yourself. Next time if you want to know if a guy likes you, maybe have a trusted friend help you figure it out. And besides, who cares of she tells him? You're a great person and he's lucky that you like him. So if she does tell him, so what? Be confident and work it!

xoxo 


Katie L.

by sarahsprinkles265 on 9/19/2012 4:13:35 PM

 
 



MOD!! MOD!! MOD!!
Ok so my friends asked me who i like and i said his name. So i asked one of them he doesnt know a lot to ask him who he liked in the grade but not to mention my name. She goofed. She told me he said aw man, another 1! So the next day he put his hand on my shoulder and asked How many sarahs are in the grade. I said 2 or 3, being my honest answer he said nono i mean how many saraahs are in the grade his friends started giggling(immature geeks) so i said have to go bye and ran away. Ever since i have been avoiding him and i miss him, plus he stares at me and i sometimes stare back but i think one of them told him at lunch cause he started giving me his eeevill smile.I've been avoiding him and my one friend said My friends gave me good advice but i wanted to hear from you. I also wanted to know if he likes me he touces me teases me and stares at me my one friend thinks he likes me but my other one says i dont have a chance. Thanks! Bye!

 

Hey girl! Wow, what a story. It's really tough to tell with guys, but he is sending some pretty positive signs! Just make sure you stay confident and be yourself. That way if he doesn't like you already than he will in no time!

xoxo 


Katie L.

by sarahsprinkles265 on 9/19/2012 4:00:28 PM

 
 

Personally, I would never do that. Call me cautious but I have heard so many stories. Thats not to say its not normal to feel the way you are because I have friends who have met guys from other schools and had hookups with them, and they first met them online. That doesnt sound like what you are looking for but I would be careful. My friends have the guys send pictures and videos to make sure they are legit.

by fashionqn on 9/19/2012 1:46:47 PM

 
 

I understand how it could be quite dangerous, but what if you agreed to meet him with his family and your family in a populated area? Would that make safer...? I'm not sure, it's just an idea. If he says that he doesn't want to meet your family, that would be a sign to call it all off.

by regina17 on 9/19/2012 6:55:39 AM

 
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