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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

Is it "love" or just "like"?


 
I have a cool BF who is always there for me. This particular feeling I have won’t leave, and it seems to get stronger and stronger. Could I really have a first love? What is love anyway?

 

Dear In Love?,

You’ll probably spend years trying to define the indefinable, and you may be in love several times in your life. Love means different things to different people at different stages, and it’s wonderful—as long as you keep your balance. Relish the good feeling and try not to worry about labeling it or pushing it forward. Just enjoy.
 
 
SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 10/31/2012 12:00:00 AM

POSTED IN , , , , , ,

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16 Comments | Add Yours
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MODMODMODMODMOD
This guy asked me out yesterday. We go to school together, we're friends, but I can't see myself liking him that way. I'm also not allowed to date. Well, he asked me out over text and when I told him no and that I'm not allowed to date, he started giving me the silent treatment. It hurts. What should I do?! I want to keep him as a friend but not any more than that.

 

Hey girl, talk to him again about it or maybe even just write him a letter and stick it in his locker telling him how you feel. It would definitely help.


lauren r.

by the_girl_in_goal on 12/22/2012 10:32:06 AM

 
 

I have a crush on this boy in my class he's in all my classes. About everytime I turn he's looking at , when I catch him he startes at my eyes. He talks to me a week and ignores me the next. I feel that he might be playing with me , please help before I fall for him more.

by Loveeverends on 11/22/2012 8:35:33 PM

 
 



modmodmodmodmod
i have a problem. My friend (formerly named Lilly) is now transgender. I feel confused while talking to her and i cant understand why she wants to be a boy. can i help her in any way? p.s. i already told my parents.

 

 

Hey girl-

It may be difficult for you to understand, but try and put yourself in her shoes. She's probably going through a very confusing time as well and what she probably needs more than anything is a friend. The best thing you can do is let your friend know that you're there for them and that if they ever need something they can come to you. Once they know you'll be there for them no matter what, it might be easier for both of your to open up and talk freely about what's going on with your friend. Good luck! xoxo 


alexis g.

by pandasrock292 on 11/15/2012 6:59:10 AM

 
 



Am i normal? I have never gone out with anyone in my life. Im only in 7th grade though. I choose it to be that way. I talk to boys all that time. Boys have asked me out before but every time i say no. Dating is just overrated in my school. My friend and I are waiting until High school for that. Anyway what my problem is, is that i try to picture myself with the main group of boys. But then i think to myself that would be the most awkward situation in the entire universe. Im not lesbiean. I just don't have any clue why i feel this way. I really, really, need help. High school isn't that far away. What if i end up alone when I'm older? Frown Please help!

 

hey girl! That is totally and completely normal. Good for you for deciding for yourself what you're ready for!

xoxo 


Katie L.

by marylofal16 on 11/9/2012 3:06:08 PM

 
 

MOD!
I have to write a definition essay in english, which is basically just taking a word and expanding the definition to fit about two pages. I chose my essay on the word Love. I was really excited but now I'm having a lot of trouble because I can't define love in any way. I've been trying to write about how you feel when your in love because trust me, ive been there-but I can't fill an entire TWO pages with how you feel. Help?
-What is Love?

 

Hey girl, love is def a tricky word and it means a lot of different things to different people and I'm sure there is more than one definition for you to work with. Try looking in a dictionary and a thesaurus and keep a pen handy to jot down anything that comes to mind.

Lauren I.

by WashingtonGirlie13 on 11/7/2012 12:47:38 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
HELP PLEASE
i have really close guy friend. key word friend and i cant think of him any other way but lately i have. hes always there when i need him and always cheers me up when im up set or sad. I cant like him for i guess you could say work purposes and you know it would look bad on me. but i cant stop thinking about him and its driving me crazy. Can someone help me sort out my feelings or at least give me a way to stop thinking of him like that?

by musiclover1516 on 11/6/2012 9:15:07 PM

 
 

Since I got my crushes # we text every so often, every Friday or so. I obviously am really happy about it but for some reason the convo always gets steered towards the weather, probably the worst thing in the history of texting to chat about. He just like all of the sudden asks if its raining at my house, too, even though we live like a half hour away, or he asks if its pretty warm over here. He's so much more interesting in real life, though, and I so don't get it! How am I supposed to steer the convo to something interesting like football without making it seem really random, Cuz were talking about... the weather (this is me rolling my eyes) ?

by WashingtonGirlie13 on 11/5/2012 9:39:11 PM

 
 



First, I just wanna say how much I <3 that I get such a fast reponse to my probs! THANKS SO MUCH!
I have another problem...
My BFF is two years older than me, and her little brother is my age (three months younger). He's had a crush on me for FOREVER and last year he constantly told me about it. He used to just be creepy and I admit I was kind of flattered (even though I didn't like him back) but now he's just mean. He constantly tells my crush random things about me and it's really annoying. My crush doesn't care, but since my BFFs lil bro knows EVERYTHING about me (not my best friends fault, promise. I always catch him eavesdropping), i'm afraid that somethings gonna ruin the the relationship thats finally forming between me and my crush. Like I said, he doesnt care...but what it my BFFS lil bro says something about me thats a lie?
HELP pleasE!




Hey girl, no prob! I'd ask the BFF's bro if he could stop talking about you to other people or even give your BFF the heads up and ask her to talk to her bro. Sometimes just confronting someone about the behavior can be enough to get them to change it or be more conscious of the fact it's not OK.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by WashingtonGirlie13 on 11/5/2012 7:23:30 PM

 
 

Over the summer my crush asked for my number. We exchanged numbers, of course, and I was really excited. When my mom found out, she was really excited for me too. When my uncles found out, THEY were excited for me, TOO! One thing that really bothers me, though, is my mom is kind of TOO excited. It's already November and even though I got his number in August, my mom always raises an eyebrow when I get a text because she thinks its my crush. Whenever she knows I'm texting him, she constantly asks what he said and what im saying. My little sisters squeal and rush to my phone everytime he texts me. My uncles are totally cool about it-they give me advice, even-which I like because they arent OBSESSED with the fact that I have my crushes number. I know this is the first number ive had from a boy and I totally get that my mom wants to know whats going on, but how do I get her to stop freaking out? Its kind of embarrassing!




Hey girlie, I totally get it. While it can be emberrassing, try to remember that Mom is just excited for you and excited that she gets to be a part of the crush-world your in. The next time she gets a bit too excited, take her aside and explain your feelings calmly. Tell her its great that she is excited and interested in your life when it comes to boys, but her over-excitement is turning you off. If you adress the issue calmly and honestly and share these feelings with your mom, she's sure to understand and try harder next time. Good luck! and congrats on getting that cutie's number. 
Lauren I.

by WashingtonGirlie13 on 11/5/2012 4:28:49 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Okay so i have a boyfriend.But he is really quiet and shy around me. How can i get him to be more confident around me and talk more instead of having me do all the talking? Also why are boys so shy?
P.S. he is my first boyfriend and i am his first girlfriend

Hey girl,

Not all boys are shy (everyone has different personalities!), but if it's his first relationship that might be why--he might not be sure how to act in a relationship! Once you know each other more it will be easier to talk to him and for him to open up more, so try having casual conversations and ask him his opinions on things, like what his favorite TV shows or sports teams are. If he's talking about something he likes, he will feel more comfortable talking to you, which will lead to more two-sided conversations in the future.

Meghan D.

by gleerules101 on 11/3/2012 12:45:12 AM

 
 

When it's love, you will know. If you are questioning it, chances are you aren't. That's how it happened for me; one day I woke up and I just knew.

by lissau2737 on 11/1/2012 10:30:19 PM

 
 

I always ask my friends when they go for a new guy, is it Love or Lust?, is it Love or just Like? And a lot of the times they admit its more lust or like and not true love. Love is something special where the other two arent.

by fashionqn on 10/31/2012 11:04:22 PM

 
 

The boy in the picture look a lot like my friend from school. O_O

by YouCanCallMeCat on 10/31/2012 9:31:22 PM

 
 

1. Think of your crush
2. Make a heart with your hands
3. Kiss the heart
4. Put the heart where your real heart is
Tomorrow your crush will ask you out
This will only work if you post this on your favorite article

by LydiaN on 10/31/2012 5:13:18 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
So, about 3 weeks ago I broke up wid my bf, and I made it SUPER clear! But just today a couple of my friends and him were talking(and the popular girls)and he said that I cheated on him! I absolutely would never do that, and I have a bf now...he doesnt think I broke up wid hiM in the first place! So he thinks I cheated on him and he says he doesn't care. Im so sad and confused and everyone but my bffs who know the truth think I'm a bad person...plz help me idk what to do! I think hes really sad but doesn't wanna show it so he made it up that we didnt break up but we DID!

 

hey girl! I think you're right, he's probably just extremely hurt still. Try not to pay attention to him and move on to bigger and better things...you don't need a sourpuss like that in your life!

xoxo 


Katie L.

by amlove on 10/31/2012 4:34:23 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Ok so my crush knows I like him, but his best friend likes me. That's a big problem for me because me and my crush were finally getting closer. Now that my crush knows that his friend likes me, my crush is avoiding me. I tried looking at other guys, but I just can't let go of my crush. It feels like I can't just give up on him, even though his best friend likes me. How do I get my crush's bff to stop liking me? He's a nice guy, so is there some way I can get him interested in some other girl? Or is there a way I can simply get him to stop liking me? He has already asked me if I liked him, and I said just as a friend, and he took it pretty bad. I don't wanna hurt him, so how can I get him to stop liking me?

 

Hey girlie, This is a tricky sitch and I'm sorry your crush has been ignoring you. It's great that you told him the truth, that you like him just as a friend. I understand that you don't want to hurt him, but being straightforward is really the best way to go. Him getting a little hurt is a ton better than leading him on and then getting even more hurt. I'm not so sure there is any way to get him to stop liking you. You could try introducing him to other girls, but I'm not so such that will work. The best way might be to stay away from him for awhile. Out of site out of mind. Maybe then he'll be able to get over it and move on.  You could also be the one to ask your crush out. Tell him you noticed you guys have been hanging out less and ask if he wants to have lunch or go bowling or something to catch up. Though, it is possible that your crush and is BFF made a pact not to let girls get in the way with their friendship, in which case you really would just have to move on. It takes time but you'll be able to do it.

Lauren I.

by isabellec on 10/31/2012 12:43:00 PM

 
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