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ADVICE | FRIENDS

27 Comments | Add Yours

5 secrets to dealing with a catty friend

 

Check these out, too...

  • My bestie isn't acting like a very good friend
  • Help! My BFF can't stand my BF
  • My friend sulks if I do better in school than her. Help!
  • 3 times it's OK to tell your bestie's secret
  • Girl Code: Is it OK to date your BFF's crush?
We know you heart your hunnies, but have you ever had a friend that sometimes goes to the dark side? You know, maybe she started offering backhanded compliments or dissing other darlings behind their back. When this babe’s behavior gets to be too much to handle, here’s how to deal.

 

Secret #1 Speak your mind—nicely

Call your chica on her bad behavior, but watch out: Chances are she’ll get majorly defensive. To avoid becoming a target for her sharp tongue, keep your censure polite: “Sally, that was a really mean thing to say—I think it really hurt Sandra’s feelings.”

 

Secret #2 Go straight to the source

When you’re one-on-one with your girl, ask her why she’s said something offensive earlier in the day. Ask leading questions that force her to explain her actions, and avoid passing judgment. Your goal is to figure out what personal insecurities are making her act out, not trying to get her to clam up and see you as the behavior police.

 

Secret #3 Don’t be tempted to join in

Sometimes, other people’s negativity can make us act poorly, too. Don’t give in to peer pressure in this sitch. The thing about putting others down is that it really doesn’t make you feel better—it makes you feel worse. Avoid a major guilt trip by refusing to take part in toxic behavior.

 

Secret #4 Zip your lips

So Sally was talking trash about Sandra when she went to the bathroom during lunch? Don’t tell Sandra, at least not the specifics. It’s important for your gals to know when their friends aren’t acting particularly friendly, but do they need to be made aware of a silly criticism that might make them needlessly self conscious? Absolutely not.

 

Secret #5 Hang with a different friend

There is no bestie rule that says ya can’t break ties with your bud when she’s not being a good friend. If you’ve tried talking to her about how her attitude and behavior makes you and your other friends feel, and she’s not making an effort to change her ways, it might be time to spend some QT with other babes.

 

How to do you deal with catty friends, chicas?

BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 10/29/2012 2:06:00 PM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, bad friend, 411 on fighting with friends, dealing with jealousy, how can I help my friend, my BFF is so bossy

< PREVIOUS   NEXT >   

123456NextShow All
27 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 



MOD MOD MOD
this jerk in my grade (my ex-BFF) is spreading rumors about me and some of my friends. Scince she is populer and we are not, people listen. I tried confronting her new BFF, asking her too stop, talking too adults. but everyone thinks she is a "perfectly innocent princess". If i leave it, she just keeps knawing at my flesh. trust me, i have tried. she knows some harmful stuff about my BGF, also. should i let her tell everyone true/false aboutme and him, or should i play dirty too?

 

Hey girlie, instead of playing dirty, try confronting her and telling her that you will if she doesn't stop. If you have anything on her that she wouldn't want other people to know she might stop spreading rumors. Otherwise just ignore her. Pretend that you don't hear any of the rumors and that they don't bother you. 


Lauren T.

report

by 513520cb on 5/5/2013 7:53:53 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
So it's near the end of sixth grade,and ever since the beggining my old BFF for 3 years in elementary school has found a new group of the most popular girl in school.She has a bunch of classes with them,and I don't even have one with her.I've sat at their table before,but I feel reall left out.The thing is,one of these girls is her ex best friend from 2nd grade and her neighbor for a little while.The thing is,I already have a new group of best friends who also went to my
elementary school,and I've made a LOT of newfriendfrom other schools,some who you could say are popular.I could get along fine without her,but there's something missing in me because weve been bffs so long.I have church with her too,and we always talk there,it's like it's back to normal.I've already told her that she's ignoring me.She doesn't sit with me on the bus because one of her new bffs rides my bus too.She said I could sleep over,but one of her new friends did.What do I do?

 

Hey girl, I would talk to her again. Tell her how you feel and what you miss about your relationship. Try and hang out just you two so you guys can bond again. 


lauren r.

report

by katniss50309 on 4/6/2013 7:40:46 AM

 
 

I have this friend lets just call her M.M and I have been really good friends ever since 4 grade.I have been crushing on this kid (we will call him K) ever since 2 grade. Last year I told K I liked him.Well turns out he liked me back.We started dating.M got mad and tried to steal him.Im not sure why.That turned into a ginormous fight. We had a few other fights over the same thing and then she started trying to turn me into a bad guy.We had more and more fights but I tried to be nice.I started branching out and trying to get more friends.She freaked out about that too and tried to make me stay her friend only.I told her if she wasnt going to let me have any friends that I couldnt be her friend.She freaked and started trying to steal my new friends.I finally told my new friends what was happening.They stopped being her friends and M accused me of stealing HER friends.Now she bullies me and I just want her to leave me alone but she won't. What do I do?

report

by Les on 1/16/2013 6:14:43 PM

 
 

Thanks for the advice Laughing

report

by Glitter_Freak on 1/2/2013 7:21:01 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!
Im having MAJOR probs with this girl at my school. At the beginning of the school year we were friends and after two months our friendship crashed and burned. What really kills me is the fact that it was demolished my a fundraiser of all things because she was pressuring me to donate when i didnt want to. I know this sounds really stupid but now shes carrying this whole thing on and starting to bully me in a whole different way. Shes starting to hack my accounts for things and made fun of me and tried to get my bff to ditch me. Well to sum it all up i just need advice on how to get her to stop because im afraid to go back to school after holidays how can i stand up to her? how can i get her to stop? Plz help!

 

hey girl! while the end of the friendship started over something silly, this girl is taking the situation to a serious level. She's bullying you, and you should tell an adult to get it to stop. Consider confiding in a parent or a school guidance counselor. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but don't be afraid to go to school! Also, have a ehar to heart with your BFF so she knows the situation and this mean girl won't be able to manipulate her. good luck!

xoxo 


Katie L.

report

by Glitter_Freak on 1/2/2013 6:34:28 AM

 
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