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ADVICE | FRIENDS

27 Comments | Add Yours

5 secrets to dealing with a catty friend

 

Check these out, too...

  • My bestie isn't acting like a very good friend
  • Help! My BFF can't stand my BF
  • My friend sulks if I do better in school than her. Help!
  • 3 times it's OK to tell your bestie's secret
  • Girl Code: Is it OK to date your BFF's crush?
We know you heart your hunnies, but have you ever had a friend that sometimes goes to the dark side? You know, maybe she started offering backhanded compliments or dissing other darlings behind their back. When this babe’s behavior gets to be too much to handle, here’s how to deal.

 

Secret #1 Speak your mind—nicely

Call your chica on her bad behavior, but watch out: Chances are she’ll get majorly defensive. To avoid becoming a target for her sharp tongue, keep your censure polite: “Sally, that was a really mean thing to say—I think it really hurt Sandra’s feelings.”

 

Secret #2 Go straight to the source

When you’re one-on-one with your girl, ask her why she’s said something offensive earlier in the day. Ask leading questions that force her to explain her actions, and avoid passing judgment. Your goal is to figure out what personal insecurities are making her act out, not trying to get her to clam up and see you as the behavior police.

 

Secret #3 Don’t be tempted to join in

Sometimes, other people’s negativity can make us act poorly, too. Don’t give in to peer pressure in this sitch. The thing about putting others down is that it really doesn’t make you feel better—it makes you feel worse. Avoid a major guilt trip by refusing to take part in toxic behavior.

 

Secret #4 Zip your lips

So Sally was talking trash about Sandra when she went to the bathroom during lunch? Don’t tell Sandra, at least not the specifics. It’s important for your gals to know when their friends aren’t acting particularly friendly, but do they need to be made aware of a silly criticism that might make them needlessly self conscious? Absolutely not.

 

Secret #5 Hang with a different friend

There is no bestie rule that says ya can’t break ties with your bud when she’s not being a good friend. If you’ve tried talking to her about how her attitude and behavior makes you and your other friends feel, and she’s not making an effort to change her ways, it might be time to spend some QT with other babes.

 

How to do you deal with catty friends, chicas?

BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 10/29/2012 2:06:00 PM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, bad friend, 411 on fighting with friends, dealing with jealousy, how can I help my friend, my BFF is so bossy

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MOD MOD MOD!! (Lauren T.)
Well, I did tell her that I didn't mean to exclude and ignore her... multiple times. I tried apologizing many times as well. And she won't even look at me so it's kind of hard to talk to her. I did try talking to her, but she just walked away. I don't really care about being her friend now because she's a major drama queen and brat. I tried being really nice to her, bur she responded rudely and sarcastically and even told me she hopes I have a bad Christmas and a bad 1 month anniversary with my BF.

 

Hey girlie, if you've tried to talk to her then just start ignoring her. Like I said about her looking for attention, maybe the attention she's looking for is a reaction. If you don't give her the reaction she wants then eventually she'll get bored and move on. Good luck!


Lauren T.

report

by livelaughlove99 on 12/23/2012 6:34:47 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!
I had this friend and we'll call her S. So I used to be best friends with S. She goes to school with me and lives down the street from me. Then I got a boyfriend, and she started feeling like the 3rd wheel even though I included her in a lot of things me & my bf did and paid a lot more attention to her than I did to my bf. one time, I brought her and my other friend to church. ( Bf & I go to same church ) So me and my other friend went over to my bf, but S walked over to her friends and hung out with them and then yelled at me and got all mad at me for not hanging out with her! ( I cant stand her friends. ) She could have very well come to me, my other friend, my bf, and all our other friends because she likes them all. So we got into a huge fight and wont talk to each other, but she texted me all this sarcastic stuff and is being really rude. And now he wont stop posting FB statuses about it! It's making me sooooo mad! What can I do??

 

Hey girlie, it's probably because she feels insecure. And doing this to you now makes her feel better about herself. Tell her that you haven't ever meant to exclude her or ignore her and you're sorry if she felt like you did. And tell her that it bothers you that she's doing this now. She's just looking for attention. You don't have to be best friends with her anymore, but you can give her a little attention to make her stop this.


Lauren T.

report

by livelaughlove99 on 12/23/2012 5:38:51 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!!!
I have this one friend and she is soooo annoying. She always talks about anime even though I absolutely hate it(i have nothing against it she just talks way to much about it so i hate it now) and when I ask her to stop she says "its your problem not mine" She has no manners and burps and passes gas all the time! Its so gross and when I ask her to stop she says no. She called my dad ugly and my parents old even though they are the same age as other parents. She said I have huge pores and my hair is super frizzy. When I get upset at her she has a temper tantrum, yells at me,cries then tells the teacher on me! She pouts and acts like a baby then tells people I am a bad person. She still plays with littlest pet shops and we are 13! The bad part about that is she brings them to school. She calls herself stupid but then says I am too! She also shares way to much information on her body with me! What should I do??


Hey girl,

If she's talking to a teacher about things you said to her, maybe it's time that you speak with an adult about what she says to you, too. You could also try sitting down with her and having a conversation about the things she says to you, and let her know that some of the things she does hurt your feelings. If she still doesn't take what you're saying seriously, it might be time to branch out and find some new buds.

Meghan D.

report

by cupcakecutie325 on 12/17/2012 7:45:52 PM

 
 

Hey everyone!! so I have a friebd named kailee! We Have been best friends since last year! (6th grade) and now we have a bunch of classes this year so i thought awesome!! More time together...... no. She met a girl Named Lizzie and i don't like her because i feel like she likes my boyfreind. She just doesn't care anymore and it's all about Her. I Miss her... but is it time to move on.??? Advice.... :/

report

by brittanyrocks22 on 12/15/2012 10:31:50 AM

 
 



I have this "friend".I hate her, she is bitchy and she has admittedly told people she thinks im obnoxious and annoying, the problem is we have soo many mutual friends that it is really hard for us to not annoy the hell out of eachother.i DON'T WANT TO BREAK OUR Friends Appart so i am trying so hard to simply ignore her rude comments and attitudes but its ridiculous that some days she is like happy and fun and then all the sudden she is making a rude comments.I have talked to some of my best friends and they notice the harsh comments.The problem is if you tell her something was mean or get offended she simply says, "well they shouldn't be so sensitive"she is so judgemental.Now before you start to say don't take it to heart,believe me i try i am a naturally happy go lucky kid and i try hard to just flick away her attitude towards me and ignore it but as my best friend said,eventually im going to break and tell her how much i dislike her and i just dont want to break up our group. Advice?

 

Hey cutiekj, oh I know where you're coming from girl. I had a friend likes this once. Just because you two aren't friends doesn't mean your friend circle has to break up or choose side, so make this clear to them. Let them know you want everything to remain the same, and that they don't have walk on egg shells around you. They can still talk about her around you or invite her to events. Although it may be hard, try to talk to her. Explain to her you aren't trying to be enemies, you just don't want to be friends. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

report

by cutiekj on 12/7/2012 6:02:26 PM

 
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