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ADVICE | FRIENDS

27 Comments | Add Yours

5 secrets to dealing with a catty friend

 

Check these out, too...

  • My bestie isn't acting like a very good friend
  • Help! My BFF can't stand my BF
  • My friend sulks if I do better in school than her. Help!
  • 3 times it's OK to tell your bestie's secret
  • Girl Code: Is it OK to date your BFF's crush?
We know you heart your hunnies, but have you ever had a friend that sometimes goes to the dark side? You know, maybe she started offering backhanded compliments or dissing other darlings behind their back. When this babe’s behavior gets to be too much to handle, here’s how to deal.

 

Secret #1 Speak your mind—nicely

Call your chica on her bad behavior, but watch out: Chances are she’ll get majorly defensive. To avoid becoming a target for her sharp tongue, keep your censure polite: “Sally, that was a really mean thing to say—I think it really hurt Sandra’s feelings.”

 

Secret #2 Go straight to the source

When you’re one-on-one with your girl, ask her why she’s said something offensive earlier in the day. Ask leading questions that force her to explain her actions, and avoid passing judgment. Your goal is to figure out what personal insecurities are making her act out, not trying to get her to clam up and see you as the behavior police.

 

Secret #3 Don’t be tempted to join in

Sometimes, other people’s negativity can make us act poorly, too. Don’t give in to peer pressure in this sitch. The thing about putting others down is that it really doesn’t make you feel better—it makes you feel worse. Avoid a major guilt trip by refusing to take part in toxic behavior.

 

Secret #4 Zip your lips

So Sally was talking trash about Sandra when she went to the bathroom during lunch? Don’t tell Sandra, at least not the specifics. It’s important for your gals to know when their friends aren’t acting particularly friendly, but do they need to be made aware of a silly criticism that might make them needlessly self conscious? Absolutely not.

 

Secret #5 Hang with a different friend

There is no bestie rule that says ya can’t break ties with your bud when she’s not being a good friend. If you’ve tried talking to her about how her attitude and behavior makes you and your other friends feel, and she’s not making an effort to change her ways, it might be time to spend some QT with other babes.

 

How to do you deal with catty friends, chicas?

BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 10/29/2012 2:06:00 PM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, bad friend, 411 on fighting with friends, dealing with jealousy, how can I help my friend, my BFF is so bossy

< PREVIOUS   NEXT >   

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27 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 

So I have this this friend and she wants to befriends with one of my friends MORE THAN ANYTHING but she has been talking behind both of our backs and when I ask her she always lies me and my friends are SOOOOO TIRED of being her friend. What should I do?

report

by Dancerrr on 12/4/2012 2:18:49 AM

 
 

Hey girl,

Because we wish only the best for you and your friend, it's extremely important that you encourage her to speak with a trusted adult such as a parent, older family member, teacher, guidance counselor or doctor ASAP. For additional help, you can refer her to this post: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx

Meghan D.

report

by appleduck101 on 11/24/2012 12:04:32 AM

 
 

Hey girls! Need some quick advice on random things? Click here: http://www.girlslife.com/AdviceQueen.aspx?id=10119
Its amazing!

report

by kathapple17 on 11/23/2012 5:50:15 PM

 
 



!!!!MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!
Ok my best friend is being a jerk to me. She thinks its all about her and never about anybody else. She thinks everything has to be fun and games and BOYS! It bothers me because I'm to young for a boyfriend so is she but she doesn't care. And she's also a jerk to her sister, calling her names and bringing her down. It bothers me because her sister is really sweet but she is a jerk to her and me!! But also we pick her and her siblings up from school so it's gonna be awkward!! I want to not fight but I'm not apologizing cause it's her she thinks I'm snobby and rude to her!! But she's always telling me to do stuff and I used to until recently so she's being a jerk! WHAT SHOULD I DOFrown???

 

hey girl! ouch, she doesn't seem so sweet. maybe it's time to move on...? try expanding your friend circle and trying out some new hobbies on your own to give ya some distance.

xoxo 


Katie L.

report

by Cupcake_queen_101_ on 11/21/2012 4:13:36 PM

 
 

I like the idea of going straight to the source. So many times girls get caught up in the drama of it all. Often when they realize that this is you they are talking about and hurting in the process, they'll stop the nonsense. -Sheri Gazitt from teenwiseseattle

report

by sheerios on 11/19/2012 3:17:32 PM

 
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