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27 Comments | Add Yours

5 secrets to dealing with a catty friend

 

Check these out, too...

  • Help! My BFF can't stand my BF
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  • My best gal is branching out...and I'm not OK with it
We know you heart your hunnies, but have you ever had a friend that sometimes goes to the dark side? You know, maybe she started offering backhanded compliments or dissing other darlings behind their back. When this babe’s behavior gets to be too much to handle, here’s how to deal.

 

Secret #1 Speak your mind—nicely

Call your chica on her bad behavior, but watch out: Chances are she’ll get majorly defensive. To avoid becoming a target for her sharp tongue, keep your censure polite: “Sally, that was a really mean thing to say—I think it really hurt Sandra’s feelings.”

 

Secret #2 Go straight to the source

When you’re one-on-one with your girl, ask her why she’s said something offensive earlier in the day. Ask leading questions that force her to explain her actions, and avoid passing judgment. Your goal is to figure out what personal insecurities are making her act out, not trying to get her to clam up and see you as the behavior police.

 

Secret #3 Don’t be tempted to join in

Sometimes, other people’s negativity can make us act poorly, too. Don’t give in to peer pressure in this sitch. The thing about putting others down is that it really doesn’t make you feel better—it makes you feel worse. Avoid a major guilt trip by refusing to take part in toxic behavior.

 

Secret #4 Zip your lips

So Sally was talking trash about Sandra when she went to the bathroom during lunch? Don’t tell Sandra, at least not the specifics. It’s important for your gals to know when their friends aren’t acting particularly friendly, but do they need to be made aware of a silly criticism that might make them needlessly self conscious? Absolutely not.

 

Secret #5 Hang with a different friend

There is no bestie rule that says ya can’t break ties with your bud when she’s not being a good friend. If you’ve tried talking to her about how her attitude and behavior makes you and your other friends feel, and she’s not making an effort to change her ways, it might be time to spend some QT with other babes.

 

How to do you deal with catty friends, chicas?

BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 10/29/2012 2:06:00 PM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, bad friend, 411 on fighting with friends, dealing with jealousy, how can I help my friend, my BFF is so bossy

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mod mod mod
I am having some friendship issues. My "friends" told me that I need to do something useful with my life because I play video games. They're saying this kind of stuff to me because they were being rude to me and my friends, so we stopped hanging out with them at lunch. It really hurt my feelings because they BOTH play video games, and they were my best friends. How can I deal with this? Frown Thanks

 

Hey pokemon_girl11, don't stress because you know they're only saying this because you stopped hanging with them. Call a truce and ask if everyone can put the past behind and get to being best friends again. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

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by pokemon_girl11 on 11/12/2012 12:37:26 AM

 
 

Hey girls..... Do you need advice?
I have been through a lot, and I give advice on:
•guys
•periods
•boobs
•growing up
•parents
•friends
•make up
•fashion
•family
•style
•hair
•shopping
•school
•music
•beauty
So click click click my profile and ask away, I will not judge and no question is dumb or stupid!

report

by kat_13 on 11/9/2012 12:57:34 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD!
Well, my friend is really catty and gossips constantly. She gossips about this girl she hates and then she goes to that girl and talks about how much she hates me. I found out a day ago that she was texting all about me and my BF, and I think she said something to him, because now he is kinda pissy to me. I just want to stop this where it started, but every time I talk to her about her arrogant behavior, she flips out. She is either a great friend or a total backstabber. I'm stuck in the middle of her lies. I really need some help!

Hey girl,

I would try to talk to her without being confrontational--say you like hanging out with her but that you don't appreciate her gossiping about others who are your friends, too. If that doesn't work, it's okay to talk to an adult like a guidance counselor or parent to help sort things out.

Meghan D.

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by mikaelaeb on 11/2/2012 10:54:14 PM

 
 

My friend and I have been friends for ages but we dont have a class together and now we dont get to see each other that much and i am hanging out with some of my other friends and my friend jumps to conclusions that i dont want to be her friend anymore and she says i am not a "true friend" and she doesnt say this to my face she messages it to me. She is honestly getting on my nerves because she is jumping to conclusions like i am going to ditch her and never be her friend again. help, because i dont know what to tell her.

Hey girl,

It's normal for your friend to be jealous, although it sounds like she's being a little rude about it. Let her know you are always there for her and still want to be her friend, but that you have other friends, too. Why not introduce her to your other friends? That way, you can all hang out together!

Meghan D.

report

by LunaEstrellas on 11/2/2012 9:32:26 PM

 
 

I deal with catty friends by trying to set an example for how to act in myself.

report

by otter77 on 10/30/2012 10:07:55 AM

 
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