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ADVICE | FRIENDS

27 Comments | Add Yours

5 secrets to dealing with a catty friend

 

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We know you heart your hunnies, but have you ever had a friend that sometimes goes to the dark side? You know, maybe she started offering backhanded compliments or dissing other darlings behind their back. When this babe’s behavior gets to be too much to handle, here’s how to deal.

 

Secret #1 Speak your mind—nicely

Call your chica on her bad behavior, but watch out: Chances are she’ll get majorly defensive. To avoid becoming a target for her sharp tongue, keep your censure polite: “Sally, that was a really mean thing to say—I think it really hurt Sandra’s feelings.”

 

Secret #2 Go straight to the source

When you’re one-on-one with your girl, ask her why she’s said something offensive earlier in the day. Ask leading questions that force her to explain her actions, and avoid passing judgment. Your goal is to figure out what personal insecurities are making her act out, not trying to get her to clam up and see you as the behavior police.

 

Secret #3 Don’t be tempted to join in

Sometimes, other people’s negativity can make us act poorly, too. Don’t give in to peer pressure in this sitch. The thing about putting others down is that it really doesn’t make you feel better—it makes you feel worse. Avoid a major guilt trip by refusing to take part in toxic behavior.

 

Secret #4 Zip your lips

So Sally was talking trash about Sandra when she went to the bathroom during lunch? Don’t tell Sandra, at least not the specifics. It’s important for your gals to know when their friends aren’t acting particularly friendly, but do they need to be made aware of a silly criticism that might make them needlessly self conscious? Absolutely not.

 

Secret #5 Hang with a different friend

There is no bestie rule that says ya can’t break ties with your bud when she’s not being a good friend. If you’ve tried talking to her about how her attitude and behavior makes you and your other friends feel, and she’s not making an effort to change her ways, it might be time to spend some QT with other babes.

 

How to do you deal with catty friends, chicas?

BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 10/29/2012 2:06:00 PM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, bad friend, 411 on fighting with friends, dealing with jealousy, how can I help my friend, my BFF is so bossy

< PREVIOUS   NEXT >   

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27 Comments | Add Yours
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When I'm stuck in the middle of a catty fight I just try not to get involved and I walk away. If it really gets out of hand, I try to be the mature one and end it... somehow.

report

by YouCanCallMeCat on 10/29/2012 3:27:48 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!
This girl at my church is nice to me when its just us, but when i'm around my other friends she sometimes gets rude and mean. Sometimes she'll be talkin about "american" people (we're hispanic), and then she'll randomly look at me and be like "Oh, no offense!" even though she knows im hispanic american. Also, one time we had this church sleepover for girls only and when this lady asked whos trash was left on the floor, she said, "Oh its hers!(as in me) She's such a pig!!" even though she knew my only trash was a cup that I already threw away. My REAL friend told me about that when I had left the room. And I know she wouldnt lie to me becuz we are best friends and we know how mean she gets sometimes. Sorry this is sooo long but I really try to be her friend even though its soooo hard! What should I do? Should I stay her friend or should I just stop trying?? Sorry and thanks in advance Smile




Hey girl, I think if you aren't getting anything but hurt and agony from this relationship, it's not worth being in. Let her fight for you and focus your time on friends who make you feel good about who you are, not those who just put you and others down. Friendships should enrich and make you better, not make you feel worse.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

report

by caityrican on 10/29/2012 3:20:42 PM

 
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