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GUYS | WHAT GUYS THINK

The Dirt: Why guys are shallow


 
Why do boys always judge girls by their looks? Why don't they just try to get to know us better?

His Answer: “We judge girls by their looks because it’s the first thing we see," admits Nick, 17. "If we like what we see, that’s when we make a move and get to know them better. I know we should probably get to know them better first, but it’s just natural to judge them by their looks before getting to know them. Don’t girls do the same thing?”

Decoded: Even though Nick's response was a tad harsh, it makes sense. Everyone judges one another by their looks--it’s their first impression. Boys and girls should get to know one another before they blow them off because of their appearance.

Your Move: Make the move first! Have him get to know you before he even gets a chance to think if you’re attractive or not. Keep note that personality outshine looks. Make sure to be yourself. If he doesn’t like that, then just move on to someone who isn't so shallow.

BY MAILYSE FERBER ON 11/2/2012 2:00:00 PM

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17 Comments | Add Yours
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im sure i got lucky, the guy i like is really cute and really really funny and nice, and everyone says he might like me back. if that is the case, how should i tell him i like him or want to go out?

by lili-ana on 12/2/2012 5:25:08 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
So, I have a boyfriend and we've been dating for exactly a week today. So I have 2 problems. 1) I'm always shy around him! Even though he's my boyfriend and I've known him forever! I just can't ever find the right words to say! It kind of helps that his personality is very outgoing so it isn't always awkward and silent, but I can never think of what to say. Please help! 2) I think my best friend started liking him once we started dating. She always talks about how jealous she is because she doesn't have a boyfriend anymore. Yesterday, she was over at my house and kept wanting to call my bf and stuff. Once she left, she texted me and asked me if he asked about her going to church tomorrow. ( Bf & I go to the same church ) She keeps wanting me to talk about her with him. I don't know what to do! Please help! Thank you!

 

Hey girl, say anything! Its only been a week so soon you'll be more comfortable around him as a girlfriend. - Maybe you should confront her. If it's bothering you talk to her about it. Ask her if everything is okay and if she's actually cool with you being together. She shouldn't be wanting to come over and talk to you boyfriend, she should want to talk to you. So just talk to her about it! Let her know that it makes you uncomfortable. 


lauren r.

by livelaughlove99 on 12/2/2012 8:54:34 AM

 
 

Do you like to read? Do you like to be yourself and be creative? Then I have the perfect club for you- Ravenclaw girls! You do not have to like the harry potter books- Ravenclaw is a personality! all positions are open, and id love to have more than one person in the club lol! and it also doubles as a advice/book suggestion club..

by Zepfergirl on 11/20/2012 5:50:19 PM

 
 

I like this guy and I found out he likes me too, we're not shy with our friends but around each other is sounds like a bunch of crickets. Help! I've asked him out once but I'm not sure he knows that was me would I look like an idiot if I asked him out again?

by keyesalex on 11/10/2012 11:34:40 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
So one of my best guy friends started going out with one of my kinda friend. Ever since then, he hasn't talked to me or my other best friend. Do most guys do that? When I talked to him about it, he just said that he was fine. Is there anything I can do? I don't want to lose a great friend. Also, when I talked to my other best guy friend, he just told me that if he ever went out with one of the 2 girls he likes, he would stop talking to me too. Why is this? Please help. Thanks! <3

 

Hey Jamie98766, they could be doing this for a number of reasons. Maybe they think their girlfriends will get jealous that they have a close friendship with another girl. They could also want to be sure they're devoting all their time to their girlfriends so she knows how much he likes her. A third reason could be that it's just how they've been taught a boyfriend is supposed to act. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

by Jaime98766 on 11/8/2012 5:49:53 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMOD
I like this guy in my band class. Lets call him Joey. So joey is a grade above me so I can't talk to him at lunch, but I see him after school for a few minutes because he is close friends with one of my friends. In that short period of time that I see hime, what do I say to Joey to let him know I would like to be friends? (I cant date so being friends with him is the next best thing.

 

Hey katgirly, if you haven't already get your close friend to introduce you two. Hold a convo with him, maybe about the band. Every time you see him say hi and ask how he's doing. Once you've established a connection with him start flirting a little. Begin by complimenting and then joking with him. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

by katgirly on 11/4/2012 10:49:03 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MODMODOD
I have liked this guy for a while now but we never talked and we'd only stare at each other and i never knew how to talk to him. I decided to give up on him because he seems to like this girl. So now I am really starting to like this different guy and we are both in band so i see him ALL the time. The thing is, we don't talk. Ever. I never have talked to him before but he's friends with one of my friends and i don't want him to turn out like the old guy, where i just admire him from afar and nothing ever happens. How do i talk to him without it being awkward? I get really shy. I don't want to wait too long because marching season's almost over and then i won't be able to see him as much Frown I really want a boyfriend because i miss it so much and i really like him and he won't get out of my mind. . . please help me? Smile thanks

 

hey! the trick with talking to boys is not to put too much pressure on the end result of your conversation. Don't think about talking to him so that you can make him your boyfriend, think about it in the short term, like you just want to say hi and introduce yourself or you'd like to get to know him as a friend. More will happen naturally if you just don't over think it. I know that's easier said than done, but it's not something you can be taught by anyone but yourself. There's nothing weird about you joining in a conversation between him and your friend so don't think, just do it! I believe in you Smile 


Helen S.

by fluffy kittyz on 11/3/2012 9:48:02 AM

 
 

Everyone pays attention to the looks, but my own crush isn't so hot. I like his personality and he isn't a bad kid so I still like him even if my friends call him ugly.

by Gabriella123 on 11/3/2012 7:34:30 AM

 
 

Guys are shallow because girls can be just as shallow and more. @ealaplante, your friend is either a tiny bit jealous or trying to help you. Okay. She told you to go back to liking your old crush? She cannot tell you who to like. But...she can tell you who to look out for and that is a great friend.

by transform2314 on 11/3/2012 1:52:20 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD! I just recently started going to school (I was homeschooled) and on the first day I met this guy. he was really sweet and cute. he showed me around and helped me get used to school life. last week I told him I felt out of place and he put his arms around my waist and told me I was amazing and he would always be there for me. he hugs me all the time and holds my hand. one problem is that he's super popular and this pretty popular girl is always flirting with him. he doesn't flirt back and told me he thinks she's a brat. also ever since she saw us hugging she's been really mean to me. what should I do about her? do you think he likes me? I like him.

Hey girl,

It sounds like he likes you, or at least likes flirting with you! There's nothing wrong with hanging out with him and getting to know him, what the other girl thinks shouldn't affect your relationship. Try making some girl friends too so you will have other people to talk to and can ignore her. If you want her to stop being angry, though, you could also try getting to know her--she might just be jealous, and if you're nice to her she'll realize you're not a threat to her and will hopefully be nice back.

Meghan D.

by kaitlin177 on 11/2/2012 10:40:17 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
My friend recently got deported to Guatemala. I'm really sad she moved. I walked home with her everyday and we always had fun. She skyped me but that was before she got on the plane. She might not get on when she gets to her new home. How do I stop being sad?

Hey girl,

I'm sorry you're missing your friend. I'm sure it's really hard and sad for her to live in another country, too. Can you still email her? At least you'll be able to stay in touch, at least through writing. Instead of thinking about how sad you are that she's gone, try thinking about the fun you two had together and the good memories you will always have. You will still have more good memories with new friends at school, and she'll have new friends in her new country. Keep in touch with her, but don't be afraid to make new friends at school, too. It's normal to be sad and you don't have to "stop being sad," but don't let it stop you from being happy with other friends, too.

Meghan D.

by chick987 on 11/2/2012 8:24:45 PM

 
 

A guy i met at camp lives 5 hours away from my house. We txt and facebook message alot! And he is really sweet. Over the summer he told one of our other friends from camp that he 'like liked' me. I think i feel that way about him now. He somehow met one of my friends here and they started talking. When i told her about how i might like him and i hope he still liles me she wasnt supportive.she told me that i should go back to liking my old crush and just stay best friends with the guy that i like. I wanted to tell her that i have been friends with him for 10x as long as she has, she has only known him for a month. Does she like him? Is she trying to keep me away from him? She is my friend and shoupdnt she be supportive? She knows that he liked me at one point. Please help me modmodmod!

by ealaplante on 11/2/2012 8:06:27 PM

 
 

Totally true. Girls do judge on looks. EVERYBODY DOES NO MATTER WHAT PERSON YOU ARE! The guys that I liked that were attractive sometimes turned out as jerks. I totally wasn't interested then.

by YouCanCallMeCat on 11/2/2012 6:30:09 PM

 
 

girls kind of do the same. it is the first hting we see. i dont really pay much attention to looks as much as sense of humor

by N3rdyRand0mn3ss on 11/2/2012 5:42:29 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
So, my mom is throwing a fall festival at our house next weekend. I invited my crush, and he said he would come. But he has no clue that I like him. I met him at church camp, and I haven't seen him since then. We text all the time, but I haven't seen him in person. Should I make a move? Or just...not? I'm not sure what to do. Help?
Thanks in advance xoxo



Hey girlie,

See how he reacts to seeing you for the first time in a while at the festival, and if he seems happy and excited to be around you, then I would definitely make a move.  If he gets there and things are a little weird since you haven't seen each other in a while, then give it the day to get along and talk some more, then see how it is at the end of the night and make your decision! Jordan S.

by Graciegang on 11/2/2012 5:31:25 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
I'm bald. I have cancer and have lost my hair. I don't have an issue with it. I have wigs and hair pieces, but I get really hot so I don't where them very much. I also have hats. My favorite thing to where is a bandana or just go bald. I think personally I look cute Smile I'm afraid that guys won't like me because I'm bald. Like I have guy friends, but I'm afraid that guys won't "like, like" me. There's this guy at school. I'm out of school because of my medical condition, but I can go to band in the mornings. The guy is... omg. He's nice and funny and cute. He's a christian and NEVER cusses. I've always thought he was cute, but just this year I've developed a crush on him. He's 17 and has never kissed anyone or had a GF. I absolutely love that about him! Girls aren't a priority for him. He seems like he may kinda like me, especially since I got cancer. My mom thinks he does. Why is that? I'm a 15 yr old girl who walks around bald. I don't get it. Thanks!

 

 Hey girly, first of all I want to say that everyone here at GL is wishing you the very best. Secondly, I love that you're rocking your new look! Wigs, hats and bandanas are great accessories and it's fantastic that you have the face to make bald cute. If this guy in band likes you, maybe he thinks you're cute too. Also, you seem to have a cool personality, and personality beats looks every time. Keep rocking your new look, stay positive, show off your personality and start flirting. If he flirts back, there's an excelent chance that he likes you. He sounds like a really nice guy. Good luck, girl! xoxo

Lauren I.

by snickie on 11/2/2012 4:45:57 PM

 
 

it's sad how much this happens

by donna1 on 11/2/2012 4:39:56 PM

 
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