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GUYS | DATING 101 | DUDES DECODED

Why won't my BF show affection in public?


 
My BF is the sweetest guy on the phone, but at school you can't tell we're dating. Why won't he show he cares about me? Should I talk to him about it, drop hints or ignore it all together?
 
Sounds like a classic case of the shy sweetie! There are a ton of people, especially guys, who are simply more comfortable sharing their feelings privately. Some are just better at opening up this way rather than face-to-face communication which can be intimidating at times. When deciding whether to bring this issue up, the bottom line is: if something’s bothering you, then ya gotta speak up.
 
Try dropping hints the next time he shows he cares over a phone convo. If he compliments you, say something like, “That would make my day if you told me at my locker tomorrow morning,” or reward him for his sweetness by slyly saying, “Now you get to hold my hand in the hallway tomorrow.” This way you’re subtly encouraging him to show his affection in public without pressuring him or making him feel like a bad boyfriend. If that doesn't work, ask him why he's so mum in school.
 
But it's best to look on the bright side. Whether he’s telling you in person, or over the phone, he’s still telling you! The feelings are there, so allow him some time to get comfortable with you before displaying his true feelings in school. And if he still doesn't want to go public with his affection, let it be and savor it for when you're on the phone.

BY JENN SHELTON ON 11/11/2012 12:00:00 AM

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19 Comments | Add Yours
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So i've been dating this guy who I really really like since just before Christmas but about a week and a half ago he's kind of been ignoring/avoiding me. I'm not sure if I did something and I'm really confused. My BGF says I should dump him but I don't want to because I really like him plus he was really shy when we started dating but then he got over it. I know that since we're dating it should be ok for me to ask him about it but I'm just scared that I'll mess everything up! Help me please!

Hey girl, it's totally fine to ask your BF what's going on.  Find a time to talk to him alone and explain what you've noticed and how you feel.  If he's unkind or disrespectful, it's probs time to end things.  Something else might be bothering him, unrelated to you, and you can help him out by listening.  Good luck, chica.  


Karin E.

by laura149 on 3/18/2013 4:22:02 PM

 
 

I'm 13 and I have been in a relationship for almost 3 months now. My boyfriend is really sweet but lately things have been weird between us. He barely texts me anymore or says hi to me in school. We used to talk a lot more but since we don't have any classes together anymore besides lunch it's hard to talk all the time. He barely comes to lunch and when he does he doesn't sit with me. I still really really like him but I'm not sure what's going on. I'll text him and he won't answer and I'll feel stupid. A couple weeks ago we even held hands at his basketball game. I'm so confused please help!

by Julienikki123 on 2/12/2013 5:09:24 PM

 
 

Me and my bf have been going out for almost 2 months, and before we started dating we would text all day every day and now we hardly text and we NEVER talk in person and we don't have any classes together. I feel like we are not even close anymore. Does he not want to talk to me or is he just shy? Help?!?!

by ashleyyyy on 12/27/2012 11:31:52 PM

 
 



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THANKS Meghan D.!! also my bf has an ex hes still buds with and she talks bad about me 24-7 and wrote in a stall in a bathroom at scchhool calling me ugly but she started sitting with us and i looked @ her meanly and my bf said thanks for giving her the death stare not in a rude way but like i know shes mean way... but he sits by her and talks to her more then

 

Hey girl,

If I were you I would just write it off. If your bf is devoted to you and you care about him, that's all that matters. It sounds like the green monster is taking control of his ex, so the best thing you can do is ignore it and hope she gets tired of it. Xoxo 


alexis g.

by eBIEBERchick on 11/19/2012 9:23:50 AM

 
 

THANKS Meghan D.!! also my bf has an ex hes still buds with and she talks bad about me 24-7 and wrote in a stall in a bathroom at scchhool calling me ugly but she started sitting with us and i looked @ her meanly and my bf said thanks for giving her the death stare not in a rude way but like i know shes mean way... but he sits by her and talks to her more then me

by eBIEBERchick on 11/17/2012 6:25:54 PM

 
 

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my bf never talks to me he sits with me at lunch but talks to my friends instead. he asked me out and always writes me notes and leaves them in my desk(we sit at the same desk for math but different period) we only have advisory(homeroom) together. I really like him and he really likes me but wont talk to me or anything! my guyfriend gave me bad advice first saying break up with him then later walk up to him and kiss him. i wont do either! Im a shy girl, everyone knows and my bf is totally not shy thats one thing i <3 so y wont he pay any attention to me?

Hey girl,

If you like your boyfriend, I wouldn't break up with him and then get together again if that was your plan in the first place, but if you're having communication issues with him the best thing to do is talk to him about it. Maybe he's talking to them if he thinks you're shy, but ask him how you can include yourself in the conversation with him because you want to talk to him too. If you talk about it honestly, you can work it out!

Meghan D.

by eBIEBERchick on 11/16/2012 8:56:56 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD!
i'm really usually quite a loud fairly popular kind of girl but whenever i'm around my crush i just can't think of anything to say! also i have a school social coming up and i really want my crush to ask me out but i'm not sure if he even knows if i exist should i do somethin? or just try to get his attention please help!

 

Hey babe-

It's totally normal to freeze up when you're around your crush. Take a few deep breaths. Getting nervous won't help him see what an awesome girl you are! So the next time you're around each other joke around a bit and don't be afraid to be a little flirty. Dropping a few hints might encourage him to ask you to the social! xoxo 


Alexis G.

by destinyvalkyrie on 11/12/2012 5:12:59 AM

 
 

I'm sorry but this is the stupidest answer to this question. If you want to know why your boyfriend doesn't show affection in public just ask him. That is what I just had to do with my boyfriend and you wanna know why he wasn't? because he was nervous, which is probably the same case with your boyfriend. Dropping hints before asking him about it will only make him more nervous. It's better to ask him then help him overcome the nervousness, not only will it get him to show affection in school but it will make you guys closer.

by engineer2be on 11/11/2012 11:52:21 PM

 
 



**MOD**MOD**
So I had a Student Council conference this weekend and I hung out with this guy basically the whole time. My friend pointed out to me that it seemed like we totally liked each other. Another girl said the same thing and even my dad thought that we liked each other! Problem is he has a girlfriend, but he made a comment to me saying that he didn't even know how long that was going to last. So I'm not sure if he really likes me and I'm just really confused about this whole thing. What should I do?

 

Hey cmn5297, he could like you. He hung out with you the whole time and basically said he doesn't like his relationship. I would keep getting to know him and flirt a little. Maybe he'll break things off with his girlfriend, and then you can make a move. Hope this helps! Xoxo 


Lynae P.

by cmn5297 on 11/11/2012 9:27:00 PM

 
 



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I'm in 6th grade and I have a boyfriend. I want to get him a present for Christmas. But my mom won't let me, he doesn't like chocolate, and I don't know what to get him. I know he'll get me one and I want to get him one. What should I do?
Thanks

 

Hey girlie, take pictures of the two of you in the next couple weeks if you don't have any together. Then you can get him a collage frame and frame the pictures. You can even decorate the frame with puffy paint or paint pens to make it more personal. 


Lauren T.

by hermione&ron on 11/11/2012 8:45:59 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!
There's something I don't understand. I'm in 6th grade, and people I know have been "dating" since 5th grade. But I (maybe it's just my opinion) think that it's kinda stupid. I mean, how can you be "in love" at age 10/11/12? Am I missing something?

 

Hey girlie, you're not missing anything. I agree with you that that's kind of young for dating and love. But girls start feeling different things at different ages. So while some girls might be ready so young, it's totally ok and normal that you're not. 


Lauren T.

by WinnieGirlie on 11/11/2012 8:33:26 PM

 
 



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Whenever I read something or see something where the guy comes up and talks to the girl then asks her out I always think to myself, "Why doesn't it happen to me?" My family tells me I'm pretty and beautiful but guys don't really talk to me that much. I'm kinda quiet, and not really popular. I have a few guy friends who I chat with, but I'm only really close with one. Is that a bad thing? Why don't guys talk to me?

 

Hey girlie, I'm sure your family is right and you are very beautiful! Boys are probably intimidated by you. And especially if you tend to be quieter, they might not know you very well or know what you're like as a person. It's not a bad thing, and as you get older I'm sure you'll get a lot more attention from the boys. There's nothing wrong with you if the boys aren't trying to knock down your front door just yet. 


Lauren T.

by emmyie11 on 11/11/2012 8:16:17 PM

 
 

Awww! Shy guy!

by Gabriella123 on 11/11/2012 5:58:22 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!!!
My parents are kinda racist. Well, not racist racist, but they want me to marry/date someone the same race as me. The thing is..... My boyfriend is Welsh. I never told them about me and my boyfriend dating over the summer. I really do love him, and he does love me. How do i tell them that we are together without them freaking out and trying to split us apart?

 

Hey girlie, when you introduce him to your parents, start out by telling them before they meet him how much he means to you and how good he is for you. Hopefully, they'll trust your judgement and let that take priority over his race. 


Lauren T.

by PurplePearlVoice on 11/11/2012 5:38:06 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD my crush and i like eachother...but i feel like im either being too clingy or he is playing hard to get based on how we havr been acting around eachother latelh...how do i tell if i am being clingy...or how do i play hard to get without seeming like i am uninterested?

 

Hey zeus11, being clingy means you're always bothering someone. So if you think you're doing this stop texting and calling him so much or always going up to him and talking. When you see him say "Hey, whats up" and if he takes it from there keep it going. Just play it cool and give him a little space. Hope this helps! Xoxo 


Lynae P.

by zeus11 on 11/11/2012 12:59:28 PM

 
 



At least your allowed to have a boyfriend.
MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really really really really LOVE thisguy but my parents wont let me date because they say im too young. Is 10 too young to date? I REALLY LOVE this guy. Im super responsible. I always do my homework, get good grades, and im gonna go to the a plus honor roll middle school my mom wants me to go to. And i dont just want to have a school relationship. And i dont want to hide it from my parents. I also cant hide it from them because i cant go outside alone. So now its just a crush. But its really more than a crush. Also it gonna be hard to ask/convince them because their jamacian and im the only girl they have.MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hey hgrules, 10 is a little young to date girl. You're definitely not alone. There are lots of girls out there your age who can't date. Spend this time getting to know your crush and becoming friends with them, so when you can have a boyfriend you'll be ready. Hope this helps! Xoxo 


Lynae P.

by hgrules on 11/11/2012 9:44:58 AM

 
 



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I'm really getting sick and tired of people in my grade. Lots of them are annoying and rude. Some girls that used to be my best friends, then we stopped because of some fights, are starting to talk to me more. And they are being really nice. I really want to start a new slate. But it is pretty much stay with the friends I have right now who can be nice and trusting, but aren't very outgoing, become friends with the snotty sometimes annoying kids but can be nice once you get to know them and they're outgoing, or become friends with the girls that used to be my friends but then became a little mean and they lost my trust but they are changed (I think) and are really outgoing. Those girls are telling me they have changed and it seems like they have, but I'm not sure I can trust them. I'm not sure what to do? I am really outgoing but I need someone to be able to trust. Could you give me advice about what to do? thanks.

 

Hey ljbdaisy, give them one more chance, they may have really changed. If not, then you know they're never to be trusted again. What about girls in your neighborhood? Are you involved in any clubs where you can make friends? Try looking other places besides school to make gal pals. Hope this helps! Xoxo


Lynae P.

by ljbdaisy on 11/11/2012 9:29:42 AM

 
 

Hey, at least you have a boyfriend!

by alamedaelizabeth on 11/11/2012 12:55:48 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i LOVE THIS GUY BUT I WAS WONDERING....HOW CAN I SET THE RIGHT MOOD TO KISS.

Hey girl,

When you and your boyfriend are ready for your first kiss, the right time will come along! Check out this post for guys' advice on landing the first kiss with your bf. http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/10/31/How-to-land-that-first-kiss-with-your-shy-guy.aspx

Meghan D.

by AarynJ on 11/11/2012 12:14:52 AM

 
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