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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

22 Comments | Add Yours

Start small: 3 steps to stopping bullies in their tracks

 

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David Phan was a well-liked 14-year-old. Friends called him sweet and kind. School officials say they hadn’t heard anything connecting him to bullying behavior for the last few years, and that counselors had been checking in with him routinely ever since. Everyone thought he was just fine.

 

But last Thursday, David shot himself in front of his school, in front of his peers. So something must have been wrong.

 

The Huffington Post reports that one classmate said she heard people talking about him. And now, schools across the nation are looking at a problem far more rampant than physical bullying: verbal bullying, and verbal harassment. Sure, the saying goes, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” But sometimes, words do hurt. Sometimes, words can drive people to the brink.

 

The thing about words, though, is that we can stop them. Start with yourself. The next time you say something even vaguely mean about someone, force yourself to stop. Chastise yourself. Then counter it with something positive about that same person.

 

Not sure if what you’re saying or thinking counts as bullying? Consider this: What if you heard someone saying something like that…but about you? Would you be hurt? Would it make you sad or mad? If so, it’s something you shouldn’t be saying—ever.

 

Once you’ve started to correct your own behavior, it’s time to start adjusting your friends’. The next time a bud says something judgmental about another guy or gal, tell her flat-out that you wish she wouldn’t say things like that. Take her through the same exercise of imagining someone had said those mean things about her. Would she like it? Probably not.

 

Now keep going. Spread the no-bullying movement through your social circle, to your classmates, the kids you babysit for, the kids on your volleyball team, your parents and cousins. Even if you change just one person’s outlook, you’ll be doing a world of good.

 

Can you think of any better cause to take up this season? We can’t.

 

Tell us your stories babe: Have you ever heard someone say something mean about you? Do you say mean stuff about other people? How are you going to stop the cycle?

BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 12/3/2012 3:59:00 PM

POSTED IN bullying 101, how to deal with a bully, dealing with gossip, kick a bad habit, In the News, bullying

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I have heard someone say something mean about me. I do say mean stuff about other people. I am going to stop the cycle by really thinking about what I say and encouraging others, especially my friends to do the same.

report

by otter77 on 12/3/2012 9:10:50 PM

 
 

I needed this. A lot. Thank you. So much.

report

by happyone123 on 12/3/2012 9:07:01 PM

 
 

Want a bigger way to get involved? How about getting the whole school involved! At my school, there is a whole club called Allies. The whole name of the game is to go out into the school and be an upstander and keep an eye out for bullying and stop it.If you can get multiple friends and a teacher on board, go take it to the principal! I have a group at my school with a whopping 40 person attendance that started three years ago!Almost no one is bullied and it is all inclusive! Yay!

report

by cupcake_mutt13 on 12/3/2012 8:19:14 PM

 
 

I honestly don't understand the point of bullying. I was bullied 5th, half of 7th, and all of 8th grade. it was horrible. she commented a lot on how i looked and how horrible my hair was. she also said i'm terrible at volleyball and she said things that were even worse. anyway, this needs to stop! Please join my "stop cyberbullying!!!" club. thanksSmile

report

by myfatsquirrel on 12/3/2012 7:33:39 PM

 
 

Omg I can't believe so many bullies still exist in the world...its like whats even the point?! Like in my chem class this one lab table is always bullying this kid in my class that doesn't have many friends and it's just like oh my god shut up already! Why do people feel good about themselves by making others feel bad?! I've never understood that..is it just because they're glad to be in control and for it not to be them being picked on?
Anyway if you are being bullied try and remember that hurt people, hurt people (my 8th grade english teacher taught us that<3). At times I feel sorta bad for bullies because their lives are obviously SO sad and empty that the only joy they get out of life is making others feel awful. But if you are the one being bullied I can imagine you would never look at it that way....ok now I'm just rambling lol
Just know I'm sorry if you are being bullied..you don't deserve it (no one does) and I'll always do my share to put an end to bullying.

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by maggie183 on 12/3/2012 6:21:54 PM

 
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