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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

22 Comments | Add Yours

Start small: 3 steps to stopping bullies in their tracks

 

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David Phan was a well-liked 14-year-old. Friends called him sweet and kind. School officials say they hadn’t heard anything connecting him to bullying behavior for the last few years, and that counselors had been checking in with him routinely ever since. Everyone thought he was just fine.

 

But last Thursday, David shot himself in front of his school, in front of his peers. So something must have been wrong.

 

The Huffington Post reports that one classmate said she heard people talking about him. And now, schools across the nation are looking at a problem far more rampant than physical bullying: verbal bullying, and verbal harassment. Sure, the saying goes, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” But sometimes, words do hurt. Sometimes, words can drive people to the brink.

 

The thing about words, though, is that we can stop them. Start with yourself. The next time you say something even vaguely mean about someone, force yourself to stop. Chastise yourself. Then counter it with something positive about that same person.

 

Not sure if what you’re saying or thinking counts as bullying? Consider this: What if you heard someone saying something like that…but about you? Would you be hurt? Would it make you sad or mad? If so, it’s something you shouldn’t be saying—ever.

 

Once you’ve started to correct your own behavior, it’s time to start adjusting your friends’. The next time a bud says something judgmental about another guy or gal, tell her flat-out that you wish she wouldn’t say things like that. Take her through the same exercise of imagining someone had said those mean things about her. Would she like it? Probably not.

 

Now keep going. Spread the no-bullying movement through your social circle, to your classmates, the kids you babysit for, the kids on your volleyball team, your parents and cousins. Even if you change just one person’s outlook, you’ll be doing a world of good.

 

Can you think of any better cause to take up this season? We can’t.

 

Tell us your stories babe: Have you ever heard someone say something mean about you? Do you say mean stuff about other people? How are you going to stop the cycle?

BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 12/3/2012 3:59:00 PM

POSTED IN bullying 101, how to deal with a bully, dealing with gossip, kick a bad habit, In the News, bullying

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22 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 

I don't know if i bully my annoying little bro. he is just so annoying and loves to start fights so as my dad says i "push his buttons" then he blames it all on me and cry's like a baby i mean hes 12 it's time to grow up,now i don't no what to do i try to be nice once in a while but know matter what he act like a little jerk and then when i am just as mean he blames it on me that i am not nice

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by R.J.Girl<3 on 2/15/2013 10:36:21 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD


Hey girlie,


I can only imagine how tough things are for you. Because we wish you only the best, it’s extremely important that you speak to a trusted adult, such as a family member, doctor, guidance counselor, teacher, etc.



 



Also, for additional help, check out: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx



 



♥, Your Blog Patrol Babes


Meghan D.

report

by Kiwwigirl101 on 2/11/2013 8:34:41 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I've always been the nerdy girl that everyone bullied and didn't like. My "friend" has everyone liking her. My other "friend" gets on my nerves often. The first "friend" insults me (she thinks jokingly) I have told her to stop in a firm voice and she doesn't. I wanna be their friends but I don't! I just want to start over. I wanna move to a random place out of the country and start over. Sometimes I even think about cutting myself. I need help. Should I stay with my friends? How can I let go if not? Is there anyway I can start over? I want to be loved! Help, please MOD !

 

hey! I think you should make a clean break from your friends and start over. Start by talking to people. Just say hi and maybe ask some questions about them, like how their weekend was and if they did anything fun. People love to talk about themselves want they get going, so i know you can do it Smile Please don't hurt yourself, you are a wonderful, talented, smart individual and I hope you know that too. Good luck girl!


Helen S.

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by hannygl10 on 1/25/2013 10:38:11 PM

 
 

That shouldnt have happened someone had to know something and wouldnt someone have been able to stop him? I like what lu2rock99 said sucide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

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by bethybooboo21 on 1/24/2013 5:53:24 PM

 
 

We watched this video in guidence and this one school decided to do a flash mob to promote anti bullying. I am being bullied by this girl who I have two classes with but I never talked to her. In choir she pinched me so hard that if I wasn't wearing a sweater, she could have almost pulled out a small chunk of my flesh. She did this when we were listening to a recording of our concert and I layed my head back in the chair to try and relax. She also yells at me for no reason at all. This shouldn't happen to anyone.

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by ty18le81r6 on 12/26/2012 10:33:45 PM

 
 




MOD MOD MOD
So there's this new girl who just moved into my grade. For some reason she wants to try to compete against me in everything!....from grades to even what i wear! I don't know what to do. I just want all this to stop. HELP?

 

 

Hey Chica, because she is new she is probably just trying to fit in and is following your lead. Try being friendly to her to help relieve some of the pressure. Keep being yourself- excelling at school and wearing what you want. She will eventually find her niche and it will all be okay.

Hannah H. 


Hannah H.

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by ShikhaDarnell on 12/20/2012 1:29:35 PM

 
 

Suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem.

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by lu2rock99 on 12/11/2012 4:24:00 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD What color grade eight graduation dresses would look best on a blonde with blue eyes?!

 

Hey girl, well it really depends on your skin color as well. If your eyes are blue, I'm thinking green or purple! 


lauren r.

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by junior on 12/8/2012 4:38:19 AM

 
 

What color grade eight graduation dress would look best on a blonde with blue eyes!~

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by junior on 12/8/2012 4:36:48 AM

 
 

i hate bullying. it's the dumbest way to express ur feelings.

report

by aki2000 on 12/4/2012 9:42:07 PM

 
 

This is terrible... I hate bullying so much. A town close to mine students in the drama club wrote and student led their fall play all about bullying called Ricochet. I saw this yesterday at my high school because other schools heard about this and wanted to see it so they decided to go on tour. In this high school near my town has 200 students and 50 of them are in drama club. The show was so good for being by students. The students used real life events from their lifes an from the news. They also wrote fictional monologues as well. This show also gave you facts and statistics about bullying. After seeing this show my heart was so heavy and I felt like I could cry. I knew their is bullying in my high school but I didn't know how bad it was till I listened. Their is a website about the play if you like to learn more about it. It is http://nchsdramaclub.wix.com/ricochet. This show was powerful and it made me feel a lot better since I have been bullied also when I was in jr. high.

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by Musiclover95 on 12/4/2012 6:27:15 PM

 
 

Wow. Poor kid. I wish I could have stopped him from killing him self......

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by Prim on 12/4/2012 5:14:37 PM

 
 



Mod mod mod
My friend and have been friends since we were born our dads were friends since high school but we never went to the same school and live in diff towns. We havent been very close in a very long time i feel really bad that im not trying to get closer with her again. But her friends do drugs and stuff im not comfortable with. Anyway i follow her on tumblr and shes been posting very depressing things even pics of self harm i would usually unfollow the blog but i cant because shes my friend. Today proves how seperated we have become i just read a post on her tumblr about apolizing to some guy she obvi liked and she wrote that her divorced dad rapped her when she was 12. I do know that she hasnt seen her dad in years but i had no knowledge that her dad did that also that she never told me. I just dont know how to help her and i reslly dont want her to hurt herself who do i get her to open up to me.

 

 

Hey, Girl. That's some really serious stuff. You should definitely tell an adult, and possibly talk to her yourself. She will need support from her friend's and family.

Hannah H. 


Hannah h.

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by Colie34720 on 12/4/2012 10:26:09 AM

 
 

Hey girlies, wearing clothes is a part of everyday life. Soooo, why not make your clothes totally fab? Check out my club, Style Spy. It's all about fashion, hair, makeup, and style (duhh). I promise you'll love it! (Pinky swear!)

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by ACaseOfMistakenIdentity on 12/4/2012 12:10:54 AM

 
 

I really dislike bullies, but then again how would anybody like them? It's sad how people do that to other people and they are mean to other people because it makes them feel better. I think that bullies should be ashamed of themselves because all they have done is worsen our community! I know that some schools have anonymous bullying reports online but we all know that they really don't work because you don't have evidence about that and because it's anonymous the councilors can't ask you questions about it. So I think maybe vanquishing bullying will be harder but hopefully in our new generations the world will be "bully free."

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by Vv707 on 12/3/2012 11:36:22 PM

 
 

I have heard someone say something mean about me. I do say mean stuff about other people. I am going to stop the cycle by really thinking about what I say and encouraging others, especially my friends to do the same.

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by otter77 on 12/3/2012 9:10:50 PM

 
 

I needed this. A lot. Thank you. So much.

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by happyone123 on 12/3/2012 9:07:01 PM

 
 

Want a bigger way to get involved? How about getting the whole school involved! At my school, there is a whole club called Allies. The whole name of the game is to go out into the school and be an upstander and keep an eye out for bullying and stop it.If you can get multiple friends and a teacher on board, go take it to the principal! I have a group at my school with a whopping 40 person attendance that started three years ago!Almost no one is bullied and it is all inclusive! Yay!

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by cupcake_mutt13 on 12/3/2012 8:19:14 PM

 
 

I honestly don't understand the point of bullying. I was bullied 5th, half of 7th, and all of 8th grade. it was horrible. she commented a lot on how i looked and how horrible my hair was. she also said i'm terrible at volleyball and she said things that were even worse. anyway, this needs to stop! Please join my "stop cyberbullying!!!" club. thanksSmile

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by myfatsquirrel on 12/3/2012 7:33:39 PM

 
 

Omg I can't believe so many bullies still exist in the world...its like whats even the point?! Like in my chem class this one lab table is always bullying this kid in my class that doesn't have many friends and it's just like oh my god shut up already! Why do people feel good about themselves by making others feel bad?! I've never understood that..is it just because they're glad to be in control and for it not to be them being picked on?
Anyway if you are being bullied try and remember that hurt people, hurt people (my 8th grade english teacher taught us that<3). At times I feel sorta bad for bullies because their lives are obviously SO sad and empty that the only joy they get out of life is making others feel awful. But if you are the one being bullied I can imagine you would never look at it that way....ok now I'm just rambling lol
Just know I'm sorry if you are being bullied..you don't deserve it (no one does) and I'll always do my share to put an end to bullying.

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by maggie183 on 12/3/2012 6:21:54 PM

 
 

Oh my... thats horrible. If you are being bullied, please tell someone. Alot of the time people say crap about you because theyre jeleous. Believe me, ive been there.. Please please please tell someone if you are being bullied!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________________________________________


hEy GiRlIeS!!!! Check out my advise queen page! i just created it and all my friends say im amazing at giving advise. Im very detailed and give great guy advise! Im always on girlslife so im quick to answer! -xx Caroline

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by dojhallow97 on 12/3/2012 5:36:44 PM

 
 

Oh my gosh thats horrible for that kid! I feel bad for him that people said so mean things that he had to do that ,FOR ANYONE OUT THERE WHO IS GETTING BULLIED OR FEELS UNWELCOME IN SOME WAY . I HAVE BEEN BULLIED TOO ,BUT TRUST ME THINGS WILL GET BETTER I PROMISE SOMEDAY THOSE PEOPLE WILL MEAN NOTHING TO U. THINK OF TAYLOR SWIFT (I LOVE HER) SHE WAS BULLIED AND LOOK AT HER NOW . SOMEDAY YOULL BE LIVING IN A BIG OL CITY AND ALL THERE EVER GONNA BE IS MEAN REMEMBER ALL OF THIS PLEASE . HELP STOP BULLING !

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by TSfan#1 on 12/3/2012 4:49:05 PM

 
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